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How many of you are really in love with your spouse?
- Thread starter Arabian
- Start date
Just keep the lines of communication open, and you'll be able to work through any problem you have or will have.
I think the reason a lot of couples don't make it, or are miserable is because they don't communicate enough. If my wife does something that bothers me, or vice versa, I let her know. We talk about it, and eventually come to a place of common ground.
In my case, that's the toughest part, bro- every time I've had it and I'm thinking I'm out she does a complete turn around and it's great again- just like when we first met...it lastsfor awhile- then the cycle starts all over. Frustrating
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EarthRider
Guest
Look up the three recognized definitions of love:
1. eros - sexual love between adults - nothing more than our biological need to reproduce.
2. philos - non-sexual love like that between parent/child, siblings, friends.
3. agape - (the highest form of love) is the love of all mankind.
I didn't marry my husband *hoping* to fall in love. I'd been madly in love and made very poor choices previously based on that "feeling." I married him because I truly enjoyed his company ie - he stimulated ALL of my senses, not just those that stirred between the sheets. LIKE is waaaaaaaaaay more important than hormones (which = the notion of love). I respected him and we had common life goals. He also reciprocated those feelings (important to add LOL).
I do agree with the foundation of what you are saying 100% but this notion of love (before a couple has been through all of life's ups and downs) is not much more than hormones and should NOT be the basis for choosing a life partner.
... just my .02 and my opinion is just like everybody else's asshole.
I can see where you are coming from. I also think you got burned the last time with love. When we get burned with something the first time, the smart thing is not to go and make the same mistake again. i hope I am making sense (It is in my mind). So I am sure bikinimom that you were not ready to give that part of your heart away. You were guarding yourself. As time went on in your relationship, you began to trust him. You were probably looking for signs along the way to see if something bad was going to happen again. As time went on and the grump showed you he really cared about you. You let him in. I could be totally wrong. In that case pretend I don't exist.
Anyway. I have been married 20 months, and been with her 3 years. I love her more today than ever. She said I make her heart flutter, so I must be doing something right, woohoo. We have a lot in common. I also believe readers are learners, so I work hard at our relationship and read books about how to relate to her. She is so my best friend, and companion. Couldn't imagine life without her.
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EarthRider
Guest
In my case, that's the toughest part, bro- every time I've had it and I'm thinking I'm out she does a complete turn around and it's great again- just like when we first met...it lastsfor awhile- then the cycle starts all over. Frustrating
Many times when my wife acts up, it means she needs attention from ME. So I will do something with her, hang out with her. She can act up just to see if you still care.
Bikini Mod
New member
You are dead on.
My first husband was a lesson and my last husband is A GIFT.
It took me about six months or so into our marriage before I totally let my guard down after I felt that he demonstrated to me that he was the man that I thought he was in the beginning. In the beginning it is easy for us to put on our best faces and hide our flaws. Me, I let IT ALL hang out and never tried to hide anything negative as I wanted him to know EXACTLY what he was getting into. But I did that before and men pursued me to the nth degree, that is, until "they had me." Then *magically* "this was more than they bargained for" or some shit. And the thing that TOTALLY blew my mind was that I never expected such behavior as I only dated much older men that were experienced in many aspects of life.
My husband never waivered and still pursues me to this day as we are getting ready to celebrate our 2nd anniversary.
I won't lie, the last two years have been difficulty at many points: some of it was getting comfortable with one another, some of it was severe financial hardship, some of it was crazy ex/custody issues, some of it was health related but yet here we are still.
Even when I am full-on pissed off at him, I still love him. LOLI think that is one of the biggest things you have to be careful of in a marriage. That shit will sneak right up on you, and can do some serious damage if your not careful.
I actually just noticed the other day that my wife and I were starting to get to that point. Everything got put on hold immediatly, including having the grandparents take our son for the day so we could spend an entire day together to "reconnect".
