How does it feel to have aids?

[milo hobgoblin]

.............

Jesus fucking Christ.. Ive never been to this particular board. This thread is fucking killing me.


Im sure the last thing either of you want is sympathy... but

fuck I dont even know what to say.

I have the ultimate repsect for both of you and the strength ytou are showing.

[7] I cant even imagine... just respect for sticking around. For enduring.

I have some rough times in my life... but reading your stories makes me realize how easy Ive had it and what Ive taken for granted.

Karma to both of you... I know its basically worthless in the grand scheme of things. Good luck to both of you Alan and Andre.


Andre just a very curious question for you? Why dont you hook up with an HIV+ female? It would seem like the ideal situation in such a bad life circumstance? Is there some further risk to something like that..?

 

[alanchiras]

Ego strokes like 'Karma' are always welcome. I always wondered why Rick collins and I haven't been flooded with it. It's just fun, I guess. Thanks, and time to stuff more poison down my throat! Alan.

 

[juiceddreadlocks]

alan, you rock man. thats all ive got to say. you must be one tough guy to make it through everything.

 

[out_at_sea]

Ego strokes like 'Karma' are always welcome. I always wondered why Rick collins and I haven't been flooded with it. It's just fun, I guess. Thanks, and time to stuff more poison down my throat! Alan.

Just gave you a big dose of karma.....you are something, Alan!

How do you feel right now? Hope your health is OK!

OAS

 

[little chris]

Jesus Christ, this is friggin depressing.
No disrespect meant here guys. Personally you are the 2 strongest people I have ever had the pleasure of contacting. Seems everyone on this board measure strength with benching or muscle mass. Here is true strength, perserverence, courage, and just the God-Given instinct to survive.

Its people like you who make people like myself take a look back on what we do have instead of always complaining about what we don't have.

As for any words of wisdom I can just say that if people can beat cancer then hopefully we gat beat this disease. Look at people/athletes like Sako Kiovu "montreal canadians" & Lance Armstrong both overcame incredible odds to beat cancer.

Keep the Faith guys
You're both real deal heros
and heroes never give up the fight.

 

[jonny jacked]

This is the first time I have been to this board and all I can say is - WOW. I don’t think I have read two more touching stories (Alan and 7) and I just finished "Tuesdays with Moiré." I have been sitting here debating on how the best method to get what I'm feeling right now into words and without sounding like a dick - but I don’t think this is possible so I will just say it- and I do not mean any disrespect to anyone. You have both touched me deeply. I am a hetero sexual male and I have had "many" female partners. Did I use a condom? No, because I am young and invincible right?? I think 7's story should be shared with school kids (high school especially) - a real life story really puts things into perspective. Alan HBO recently did a short series "Angels in America" an unbelievable tale of a young man living with aids in New York. I hope you had the chance to catch it. I believe it is still showing (in re-runs on HBO). The show really touched me.
I still cannot describe what it is about 7's post that touched me so much. 7 if you are still on the boards, please contact me. I am a high school teacher (I teach religion and geography). In religion (catholic high school) we discuss the issues that the students face. A big one being pre-marital sex. Safe sex. I would love to share your story with the class and read the posts you have put on this thread. I will not do this without your permission of course and would not use your real name if that’s is what you preferred. There was just something about the words you chose. The way you expressed you (somewhat) bleak out look on life (again no disrespect). You talk about a "life sentence" - not being afraid of jail. Not taking your meds as prescribed because "why would anyone want to prolong a life with aids" - it is this mentality that shows the true effects this disease can have on a young male and I believe will really touch my students. Please contact me - either on this thread or through PM's
Thank you both
JJ

 

[sedone]

Well, I don't know how I have missed the forum. I also have an AIDS diagnosis and have been HIV+ for 15 years and my wife for 20 years. I have had a couple of really close call with Pneumonia, I.T.P. and Cancer among a gang of other "little" stuff. I started taking meds 4 years ago when I found out the reason I had trouble breathing was because my lungs were marked with Cancer. Meds are great 'cause they saved my life and they suck at the same time because of the side effects which are way too long a story to tell here.

Right now I am doing well I have been training my ass off and am coming in @5'11" and a lean 215lbs hitting a 380 pound bench. I do use steroids, they have saved my life! When the shit hits the fan the first thing that happens is the weight starts to drop because AIDS is so catabolic, so I call it my insurance policy!! I have seen a bout of Pneumo take 20lbs. in three weeks.

I am sure I will be able to add more to this forum but mostly I wanted to commend the Admin. for putting a section such as this on a bodybuilding forum and more so the people who have braved the usual AIDSphobia to find support and share hope. I was infected by sharing a dirty needle with my then girlfriend and my wife was infected through unsafe sex at age 16 in 1984. I am so fortunate to have found my soulmate who is also a bodybuilder, I know that many of us are not so lucky. It is a terrible disease that carries a prejudice like no other. Would 7 have been attacked like that if he had Cancer or M.S., Fuck No! Everyone would have been kissing his ass trying to help!!! People like 7 and kids who are infected through childbirth are innocent victims who had no part in their demise.

I have similar feelings for my wife because in 1984 there was no information out there teaching heterosexuals about safe sex because it was a "Gay" disease! The fact that people actually still believe that shit in certain places is unbelievable!!!

I take responsiblity for my infection I am not a victim, I knew the consequences but at that point in my life it wasn't that important. I mean I was just sharing a little dope with my girlfriend...right?

7, I understand a lot of what you're going through. When I tested positive I thought I would never have sex again or find love. I too was terrified of infecting anyone else. Believe me bro, if you keep looking and put yourself out there no matter how scary it is it will happen for you but you can't buy what you're not shopping for. I met my wife after I saw her on T.V. and emailed her after, scary? FUCK YEAH!!! But I have a love and sex like I never thought possible. It helps that she has AIDS too and is still fine as fuck but that's not the only way, there are girls that will be down. You just to have to take a chance, personally I would wait a few dates before I disclosed (if they didn't know already) so she would get a chance to know me without the virus staring over our shoulders.

Feel free to email me for anything, we live in L.A. and participate in a lot of HIV+ functions.

Oliver

 

[alanchiras]

Sedone, great first post! I think we have actually moved people with this thread. Hit all of us back with any questions you may have. Thanks! Alan.

 

[heyBuddy]

great post......very good to here the truth of people who are infected rather than hearing someone else talk about what they never had...thanks for the information

 

[Grant D]

Wow... I came to this board to find someones email for G-Plenish and find this thread. You both will be in my prayers. Keep in there, man I cant get over how heavy this thread was.