Happily married people...

[foreigngirl]

Good post!! And I agree with your last statement wholeheartedly!! You & your partner are FIRST - BEFORE work, BEFORE children, etc.......cuz eventually - the kids will move out, etc & you'll be sitting there looking at this person like Who the heck are they??

exactly. Women get all worked up around the kids while they are small, but still have to spend some time with SO, cause, yes - the kids are gonna grow up, get married, move out, have kids on their own and the only one you are left with is your SO till death do you apart.

 

[nycgirl]

One more thing.... learning to respect each other is a big part of making our r'ship successful. Demeaning your spouse does nothing good in the long term.
I am APPALLED when I see some of the couple's on here airing their dirty laundry. No man should have to see his wife cut him down in front of people he 'knows' - even online. And men should have a stronger backbone than to come online looking for validation that his wife is a bitch from people they post with.

I feel the same way. This should apply to ALL relationships on this board and in real life. Your post should be a sticky.

 

[aandd]

exactly. Women get all worked up around the kids while they are small, but still have to spend some time with SO, cause, yes - the kids are gonna grow up, get married, move out, have kids on their own and the only one you are left with is your SO till death do you apart.

I'm actually kind of looking forward to the day that the last kid moves off to college. LOL. As much as I love them, I miss the days when hubby and I could spend extended time together alone.

 

[nycgirl]

4 years last month

Compromise, communication, similar goals and compatible personalities - ie my current hubby & I have similar personalities/humor styles, etc while my ex hubby & I didn't & he felt he could mold or change me into what he felt a wife should be.........

I only spent one night with Jen & her husband (seperate beds!) and it was nice being around a loving & happy couple (it gave me hope. lol).

I guess this advice can apply to relationships as well. I can't see anyone having a successful relationship without all of what Jen mentioned.

I will also add that being secure & honest with yourself helps. How can you give love to someone else, when you don't love yourself? Being with someone because you need him and can't live without a man is absolutely sad.

And finally, sexually compatibility is very important (imo).

 

[foreigngirl]

I'm actually kind of looking forward to the day that the last kid moves off to college. LOL. As much as I love them, I miss the days when hubby and I could spend extended time together alone.

ahhhh, the releive of the kids being away I actually had my daughter (3 YO) in my country with my mom for 2 months. As much as I enjoyed making up for the lost alone time, I started missing her like after the 2nd week

At least we get the weekends alone, kids go at grandma's for a sleepover

 

[jenscats5]

I only spent one night with Jen & her husband (seperate beds!) and it was nice being around a loving & happy couple (it gave me hope. lol).

I guess this advice can apply to relationships as well. I can't see anyone having a successful relationship without all of what Jen mentioned.

I will also add that being secure & honest with yourself helps. How can you give love to someone else, when you don't love yourself? Being with someone because you need him and can't live without a man is absolutely sad.

And finally, sexually compatibility is very important (imo).

You're so funny!! (and such a sweetie!) And yes, I agree with what you said in bold.

 

[Lestat]

Communication is ranked high. It's not about her or me but us. Being understanding and interested and supporttive of each other.

18 years this past July.

that's awesome man, and impressive.

some great posts on this thread

 

[Gymgurl]

Well...been together almost 20 yrs and married 14 yrs......OKAY i know this sounds like a Gymgurl thing lol....sex sex and more sex...Communication and RESPECT for each other.....not sweating the small shit and learning to forgive the big shit when possible......I personally think that you really need to date someone for awhile to really get to know them before getting married..that way things don't change that much once you do...RESPECT is the Key for my success.......

 

[PBR]

marraige requires "intimacy"....defined: Intimacy [is] the capacity to commit [oneself] to concrete affiliations and partnerships and to develope the ethical strength to abide by such commitments, even though they may call for significant sacrifices and compromises...(Erick Erickson)
Intimacy- simply put, is to think about your willingness to be known. Intimacy involves recieving as well as giving...think about what you are willing to reveal and what you are willing to accept.
Are you willing to be close enough to tolerate someones elses fears, dependency, character weaknesses. So many of us vastly perfer the sexy, strong, exciting first impressions our lovers make.
Intimacy, which means getting close enough to see the detail, is a mixed blessing. We long for intamcy in theory, but we mourn the loss of our fantasies that closeness brings...
for me, this was the demise of my marraige...my ex could only hold onto Intimacy for a short while...it became too scary for her as we progressed....to me it was freedom- to her it was a boundry with walls that were too high to scale.

 

[-SD-]

Dont cheat. Thats about all the advice Im qualified to give. lol