Please Scroll Down to See Forums Below
napsgear
genezapharmateuticals
domestic-supply
puritysourcelabs
UGL OZ
UGFREAK
napsgeargenezapharmateuticals domestic-supplypuritysourcelabsUGL OZUGFREAK

FiveFingers Maker Will Pay Millions To Suckers Who Bought Its Shoes

Dial_tone

Dial_tone

MVP
EF VIP
FiveFingers Maker Will Pay Millions To Suckers Who Bought Its Shoes


The favorite toe-shoe of vegan restaurant servers and 55-year-old men with ponytails has settled a class action lawsuit brought against it by what sounds like every person who ever wore its foot-condoms.

Runner's World Newswire's Matt McCue reports that though Vibram "expressly [denies] and continues to deny any wrongdoing alleged in the Actions, and neither admits nor concedes any actual or potential fault, wrongdoing or liability," the company has agreed to pay a lot of money.

The initial claim, filed in 2012, accuses Vibram of deceiving consumers by saying that its shoes could "reduce foot injuries and strengthen foot muscles." Unfortunately, Vibram appears to have pulled this out of thin air, really hoping it was true.

It is not true.

Science takes time, and since the advent of Christopher McDougall's best-selling Born to Run (a book based mainly on anecdote that sparked the minimalist footwear revolution), science has discovered that barefoot running can really fuck you up.

"This study showed that increases in bone marrow edema [the precursor to a stress fracture] are more common in subjects who were transitioning to the [Vibram FiveFingers]," concluded this 2013 study.

In penance for its crimes against fashion and humanity, Vibram has placed $3.75 million into escrow. Those funds will go to the fitness idiots who purchased a pair after March 21, 2009, with up to $94 for each in an effort to help your friends and family not shudder when looking at your feet.
 
Dial_tone said:
science has discovered that barefoot running can really fuck you up.
Click to expand...


That is one of the most ridiculous things I've ever read. Humans have existed as we currently are for 2-400k years. Upright hominins, our ancestors, roughly 3 million years. At best we wrapped some animal skins around our feet to keep warm in the winter, same thing as vibrams..just a thin protective layer. But because what has now become a soft lazy sub species of humanity...the western vaginus americanus(TM)...doesn't heed the advice of specialists on how to work your way back to running barefoot, a company which basically makes a weird hyper inflated version of an Indian moccasin has to shell out millions? Wow. Ok.
 
redsamurai said:
That is one of the most ridiculous things I've ever read. Humans have existed as we currently are for 2-400k years. Upright hominins, our ancestors, roughly 3 million years. At best we wrapped some animal skins around our feet to keep warm in the winter, same thing as vibrams..just a thin protective layer. But because what has now become a soft lazy sub species of humanity...the western vaginus americanus(TM)...doesn't heed the advice of specialists on how to work your way back to running barefoot, a company which basically makes a weird hyper inflated version of an Indian moccasin has to shell out millions? Wow. Ok.
Click to expand...

wrong


:coffee:
 
redsamurai said:
That is one of the most ridiculous things I've ever read. Humans have existed as we currently are for 2-400k years. Upright hominins, our ancestors, roughly 3 million years. At best we wrapped some animal skins around our feet to keep warm in the winter, same thing as vibrams..just a thin protective layer. But because what has now become a soft lazy sub species of humanity...the western vaginus americanus(TM)...doesn't heed the advice of specialists on how to work your way back to running barefoot, a company which basically makes a weird hyper inflated version of an Indian moccasin has to shell out millions? Wow. Ok.
Click to expand...

They are getting $90 per person lololol
 
Dial_tone said:
FiveFingers Maker Will Pay Millions To Suckers Who Bought Its Shoes


The favorite toe-shoe of vegan restaurant servers and 55-year-old men with ponytails has settled a class action lawsuit brought against it by what sounds like every person who ever wore its foot-condoms.

...

In penance for its crimes against fashion and humanity, Vibram has placed $3.75 million into escrow. Those funds will go to the fitness idiots who purchased a pair after March 21, 2009, with up to $94 for each in an effort to help your friends and family not shudder when looking at your feet.
Click to expand...

I feel your pain Mitch. I highlighted the salient points for you.

Oh, and btw: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAH!

Even Chris McDougall is apologizing for accidentally creating the barefoot running movement. It was a chapter from his book that to quote him: " I was really on the fence as to whether to keep it in."

Oh, and BWAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHHAHAAH!

That is all.
 
redsamurai said:
That is one of the most ridiculous things I've ever read. Humans have existed as we currently are for 2-400k years. Upright hominins, our ancestors, roughly 3 million years. At best we wrapped some animal skins around our feet to keep warm in the winter, same thing as vibrams..just a thin protective layer. But because what has now become a soft lazy sub species of humanity...the western vaginus americanus(TM)...doesn't heed the advice of specialists on how to work your way back to running barefoot, a company which basically makes a weird hyper inflated version of an Indian moccasin has to shell out millions? Wow. Ok.
Click to expand...

You should be happy! The noble US court system is sticking-it to evil US corporations for making products that hurt people.

Here's the study that shows how those things cause bone marrow edema: http://unique-sportstime.de/site/wp-content/uploads/Barfuss-Laufen1.pdf

You should file a claim. On top of that, you should sue them for making you post stupid and clueless things on the Internet. There isn't a court on this planet that would contest that fact.
 
I rawk these bad boys at teh gym


S73pkktt-2.jpg




:coffee:
 
Stopwatch(TM) said:
Here's the study that shows how those things cause bone marrow edema: http://unique-sportstime.de/site/wp-content/uploads/Barfuss-Laufen1.pdf
.
Click to expand...

Foot Bone Marrow Edema after 10-Week Transition
to Minimalist Running Shoes


That's as far as I got into that study...the title. Do you see what I've highlighted? I walked around in vibrams and lifted in them for almost a year before I did any kind of serious running. Why? Because that is what every source of information regarding transition to barefoot or minimalist shoe running was IMPLORING people to do.

Here's what happened...people who have been bred to be poosy faggots, just picture yourself here, decided that they wanted to try this barefoot thing and see what it's all about. And being the morons that the avg American is, they didn't take the time to research what they were doing nor did they research what wearing cushioned shoes their whole lives had done to them. You don't make that transition in 10 weeks even if you're a casual runner. What happened is that hardcore runners who had been running miles and miles a week took little to no time to adjust to the new environment they put their feet in. So they just leapt right into their old running routines without the buildup of the ankles and calves.

All of this is pretty self explanatory to anyone with a brain who understands that the human race spent 100's of thousands of years walking and running either barefoot or in a thin piece of animal skin. So the question is where is your specific malfunction Stopwatch(TM)?
 
redsamurai said:
Foot Bone Marrow Edema after 10-Week Transition
to Minimalist Running Shoes


That's as far as I got into that study...the title. Do you see what I've highlighted? I walked around in vibrams and lifted in them for almost a year before I did any kind of serious running. Why? Because that is what every source of information regarding transition to barefoot or minimalist shoe running was IMPLORING people to do.

Here's what happened...people who have been bred to be poosy faggots, just picture yourself here, decided that they wanted to try this barefoot thing and see what it's all about. And being the morons that the avg American is, they didn't take the time to research what they were doing nor did they research what wearing cushioned shoes their whole lives had done to them. You don't make that transition in 10 weeks even if you're a casual runner. What happened is that hardcore runners who had been running miles and miles a week took little to no time to adjust to the new environment they put their feet in. So they just leapt right into their old running routines without the buildup of the ankles and calves.

All of this is pretty self explanatory to anyone with a brain who understands that the human race spent 100's of thousands of years walking and running either barefoot or in a thin piece of animal skin. So the question is where is your specific malfunction Stopwatch(TM)?
Click to expand...

Yeah, those Vibram fags parked $3.75M into a settlement fund simply because people weren't breaking them in slowly enough.

Good god you ponytail fag, do you even read the shit you type?

And no, don't answer that. It was a rhetorical question.
 
Stopwatch(TM) said:
Yeah, those Vibram fags parked $3.75M into a settlement fund simply because people weren't breaking them in slowly enough.
.
Click to expand...


yeah that's exactly what happened. They weren't the ones imploring people to break into things slowly, they wanted to sell as many shoes as possible as quickly as possible. That is afterall the capitalist way. They got caught by their own marketing. The claims they made of the benefits of their shoes were completely accurate, what they didn't inform people of is the transition. And more specifically the dangers in transitioning too quickly. It's not the shoes that need breaking in you impotent muppet, it's the weak tendons and ligaments that need to be strengthened in the avg American.
 
by the way, did you read the "conlusion" of the study?

"Conclusion: Runners interested in transitionin to minimalist running shoes, such as Vibrams, should transition VERY FUCKING SLOWLY and GRADUALLY in order to avoid potential stress injury in the foot"
 
Only stupid american consumers would pay $80 for the Barefoot Experience instead of just not wearing any fucking shoes for free
 
redsamurai said:
by the way, did you read the "conlusion" of the study?

"Conclusion: Runners interested in transitionin to minimalist running shoes, such as Vibrams, should transition VERY FUCKING SLOWLY and GRADUALLY in order to avoid potential stress injury in the foot"
Click to expand...


Vibram had an obligation to warn people about that and they didn't. But anybody who didn't read up on the potential pitfalls of running barefoot or in minimal shoes, has little sympathy from me. Especially when the literature was so easily accessible in a simple query to lord google.
 
redsamurai said:
Maybe I"d be jelly if you didn't just post some illiterate garbage I can't understand. "I don't you see"?...wtf
Click to expand...

You don't understand the vast, vast majority of things. That's why you have the existence you have.
 
mrplunkey said:
You don't understand the vast, vast majority of things. That's why you have the existence you have.
Click to expand...


you know ur right. Like I can't understand how a man needs 3 glasses of wine, 3 hits of X and enough Viagra to raise the dead just to fill a wee little munchkin cock for 10 well timed minutes before inevitable depletion. I guess there's just some things one isn't meant to understand. :whatever:

























:lmao:
 
mrplunkey said:
If you had just stopped there, you would have finally made sense on something (less the terrible English, but as Chris Rock said: "you gotta let some shit slide").
Click to expand...

Letting shit slide is important. ..it brings good times ahead according to Lord Buddha's teachings.

Sent from my GT-N7105T using EliteFitness
 
ha1a1 said:
Letting shit slide is important. ..it brings good times ahead according to Lord Buddha's teachings.

Sent from my GT-N7105T using EliteFitness
Click to expand...

I was thinking more along the lines of when Chris Rock said you can't call-out the retarded kid for double-dribbling, but let's go with your elaboration instead.
 
miplank said:
nobody deserves shit for buying a shoe knowing full well you were a fgt for doing so.



fuck everyone
Click to expand...

They'll trick the same bunch of suckers again by coming-up with Vibrams II -- an all-natural, organic, sustainably-produced verion of the original Vibrams.

I've even got their new tag line: "Locally-manufactured fresh from the factory to your feet."
 
Well shit. Rrnchscam just PM'ed me with two questions:

1) Where can I get a pair of these Vibrams II?

2) Do they accept EBT cards as payment?

Damn, that was fast.
 
This thread fucking sux

Sent from my SCH-I605 using EliteFitness
 
mrplunkey said:
Well hell. It was 9:42 PM and way past my bedtime.
Click to expand...


god do you have to well time the sleep meds too? Aside from being a natural cock sucking asshole..is there anything your body does anymore naturally without having to be stimulated by a synthetic chemical?
 
redsamurai said:
god do you have to well time the sleep meds too? Aside from being a natural cock sucking asshole..is there anything your body does anymore naturally without having to be stimulated by a synthetic chemical?
Click to expand...

I go to bed before 9:42 because I do this thing called "work". It provides me with money that I can use for my own purposes, but some of it also goes to fund deadbeats like you.

You know that magical EBT card that you get? Working people like me are the ones who fund that card so you can sit around your mom's basement jerking-off to geigh porn.
 
You go to bed around 9pm...what are you a bus driver before you go to your 2nd job? You're supposed to be a high rolling millionaire. My best friend owns and operates his own company which is easily as large as yours if not larger. They make heavy industrial equipment. He also has two children but he goes to bed when normal grown men go to bed. Do you nap on the floor at noon too? Wtf how old are you?



:lmao:
 
mrplunkey said:
You know that magical EBT card that you get? .
Click to expand...


ok I actually had to ask here what an EBT card was here, cause you were always bringing it up. So literally until about two weeks ago I didn't know nor cared wtf you were talking about. But now that it's been explained to me, you really are a low life piece of shit using something like that as a mocking tool against someone else. That's literally what other people survive on. I can assure you that not one single penny you've ever given in taxes has ever made it's way even in my vicinity. And stop being a bottom feeding scumbag who should jump off a tall building. I know you won't because you're a bottom feeding scumbag without an ounce of common decency anywhere on your whole family tree. But it should be said that there should be a line, even here.
 
redsamurai said:
You go to bed around 9pm...what are you a bus driver before you go to your 2nd job? You're supposed to be a high rolling millionaire. My best friend owns and operates his own company which is easily as large as yours if not larger. They make heavy industrial equipment. He also has two children but he goes to bed when normal grown men go to bed. Do you nap on the floor at noon too? Wtf how old are you?



:lmao:
Click to expand...

Awww... how cute. You know someone who owns their own business!

I'm sure he'd be proud to know someone like you too.

Here's a little helpful hint: Successful people would never publicly acknowledge knowing you. So either:

A.2-a) He disavows all knowledge of your existence

or

IV) He isn't successful.
 
yeah we just go out drinking together. And yeah, he owns his own company that makes heavy industrial equipment used by one of the most of the most famous companies in America.
 
mrplunkey said:
Awww... how cute. You know someone who owns their own business!

I'm sure he'd be proud to know someone like you too.

Here's a little helpful hint: Successful people would never publicly acknowledge knowing you. So either:

A.2-a) He disavows all knowledge of your existence

or

IV) He isn't successful.
Click to expand...

or

A*01:01:08) Ask him for a job



:coffee:
 
redsamurai said:
ok I actually had to ask here what an EBT card was here, cause you were always bringing it up. So literally until about two weeks ago I didn't know nor cared wtf you were talking about.
Click to expand...

That's the EF lie of the century. Well played!

redsamurai said:
But now that it's been explained to me, you really are a low life piece of shit using something like that as a mocking tool against someone else. That's literally what other people survive on. I can assure you that not one single penny you've ever given in taxes has ever made it's way even in my vicinity. And stop being a bottom feeding scumbag who should jump off a tall building. I know you won't because you're a bottom feeding scumbag without an ounce of common decency anywhere on your whole family tree. But it should be said that there should be a line, even here.
Click to expand...

That's not a very respectful way to write toward a person who pays your bills. Put down the game controller (which means stop playing the video game you are "demoing"), put out the joint, get off your mom's couch and go get a damn job. It won't kill you. Millions of people do it to support freeloaders like you every day.
 
redsamurai said:
yeah we just go out drinking together. And yeah, he owns his own company that makes heavy industrial equipment used by one of the most of the most famous companies in America.
Click to expand...

1.3-a) No successful person would ever be caught dead with you in public.

A-3.2) I'm sure that alcohol goes well with your horseshit organic, all-natural, locally-produced, conflict-free, sustainably-farmed lifestyle that's paid-for by taxpayers.
 
there's nothing respectful about you. You are absolutely a living piece of shit. But as always you can only hide it for so long. So how long before wife #2 figures out what lowlife half breed you are and takes the kids away so they don't have to be raised by some ghoulish decaying old man with a bad haircut?
 
redsamurai said:
You go to bed around 9pm...what are you a bus driver before you go to your 2nd job? You're supposed to be a high rolling millionaire. My best friend owns and operates his own company which is easily as large as yours if not larger. They make heavy industrial equipment. He also has two children but he goes to bed when normal grown men go to bed. Do you nap on the floor at noon too? Wtf how old are you?



:lmao:
Click to expand...

i nap in my chair at work on the regular...that shit happens when you average like 4 hours of sleep a night...it's quite rejuvenating, actually...15 min power nap and i'm gtg till 2 or 3 am...
 
mrplunkey said:
1.3-a) No successful person would ever be caught dead with you in public.
.
Click to expand...

ok, lols. I had lunch the other day with one of the old guys who was responsible for developing the aquatred for Goodyear. Also at the table was a former goodyear medal award winner. Bunch of bums though you're right. :rolleyes:


:coffee::coffee::coffee::coffee::coffee:
 
my problem is finding the time to get a good night's sleep...since my uncle (business partner) passed away in january 2013, my life has just been a whirlwind...more of a tornado, actually...most nights/early mornings, i don't even recall my head making contact with the pillow...i'm asleep before i'm properly situated most nights...i wake up at least once a week with one foot still on the floor...
 
you run your own tax firm right? can you find another business partner digi? you are absolutely right, at this rate you will not make it another 10 years if your heart is doing that shit.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

L
Nugenix Testosterone Booster: How Effective The Supplement Is?
Replies
0
Views
2K
lockthedoor
L
L
Muslim Woman sues Abercrombie
2 3 4 5 6
Replies
509
Views
59K
nimbus
nimbus
javaguru
The Riddle of the Gun
Replies
19
Views
4K
wootoom
wootoom
future
Help End the Governments Shameful Silence About Vitamin D...the Natural Way to Preven
Replies
7
Views
2K
andrew732
andrew732
75th
Logic and common sense pwns Al Gore
Replies
12
Views
2K
75th
75th
Top Bottom