Confession. This has been haunting me for a while.

[JayC9]

A perfectly viable method of sorting the wheat from the chaff. Full marks for initiative, as you were.

 

[GoldenDelicious]

Seems like a fair move to me.

Gold diggers are fair game for anything IMO

i really dont agree with everyone in the thread using this as justification.

i mean, sure, if you *knew* that the girl was a golddigger (by rubbing your magic crystal ball) then okay, fine, the punishment suits the crime and everybody has equal amounts of shit on their faces (because imo, its still a cruddy angle to be using to get laid.) but the ability to purchase large gifts taps into womens preprogrammed desire for a man who can provide for a family unit. its legitimate justification for attraction, and doesnt neccessarily mean that shes a "golddigger".

 

[mrplunkey]

i really dont agree with everyone in the thread using this as justification.

i mean, sure, if you *knew* that the girl was a golddigger (by rubbing your magic crystal ball) then okay, fine, the punishment suits the crime and everybody has equal amounts of shit on their faces (because imo, its still a cruddy angle to be using to get laid.) but the ability to purchase large gifts taps into womens preprogrammed desire for a man who can provide for a family unit. its legitimate justification for attraction, and doesnt neccessarily mean that shes a "golddigger".

Ahh... yes and no though.

In this case he's not talking about providing day-to-day needs. For example, it's logical for a woman to be drawn to a nice house or to being fed well (either by going out to dinner or the guy cooking at his home). That's provider stuff. Even a nice, well-maintained car is a sign of "I can provide."

Discretionary items, like $20,000 pieces of jewelry aren't day-to-day needs (except for a few women I know). I'd argue that if you took a "keeper" to a jewelry store and started browsing 20k items, she's say something like "couldn't that 20k be used better somewhere else?". And don't get me wrong, if the guy is hell-bent on her having something that is nice, he'll buy it anyway. But it would be a tell-tale sign if she walks through the door thinking "MEMEMEMEMEME".

 

[heatherrae]

Well, I think that you are mature to now realize that it was wrong.

Here is the thing about getting jewelry: Women (almost 100% of us) are going to be excited if our man buys us jewelry. It is a very romantic gift that says..ahem...LOVE. Now, what some people may think is gold digging is actually us being excited because we feel that the grand gesture is a show of your affection, and we LOVE YOU FOR IT!

Let's say my fella said, "Heather, I'm going to put $20,000 in your account for you to spend on yourself." I would be very happy. Who wouldn't?

Now, let's say my fell took me to a jewelry store and picked out some beautiful $20,000 piece and had it customized. Well, that would make me feel very loved and I would be exhilerated and think "Wow, he really loves me!" Yeah, I would probably be a little kitten to him for a great while after that.

That doesn't make them gold diggers, necessarily. It makes them vulnerable human beings with very real emotions that you took advantage of for sex.


That being said, it was a long time ago. Say a prayer for God's forgiveness and move on. I wouldn't tell the wife, necessarily. There are some things we as wives don't want to hear. If my guy did something like that in the past, I really don't want to hear about him and other chicks.

Just my opinion.

 

[pintoca]

Well, I think that you are mature to now realize that it was wrong.

Here is the thing about getting jewelry: Women (almost 100% of us) are going to be excited if our man buys us jewelry. It is a very romantic gift that says..ahem...LOVE. Now, what some people may think is gold digging is actually us being excited because we feel that the grand gesture is a show of your affection, and we LOVE YOU FOR IT!

Let's say my fella said, "Heather, I'm going to put $20,000 in your account for you to spend on yourself." I would be very happy. Who wouldn't?

Now, let's say my fell took me to a jewelry store and picked out some beautiful $20,000 piece and had it customized. Well, that would make me feel very loved and I would be exhilerated and think "Wow, he really loves me!" Yeah, I would probably be a little kitten to him for a great while after that.

That doesn't make them gold diggers, necessarily. It makes them vulnerable human beings with very real emotions that you took advantage of for sex.


That being said, it was a long time ago. Say a prayer for God's forgiveness and move on. I wouldn't tell the wife, necessarily. There are some things we as wives don't want to hear. If my guy did something like that in the past, I really don't want to hear about him and other chicks.

Just my opinion.

I just LOVE how you rationalize this. You choose your career wisely, I have no doubt you are a good lawyer

 

[mrplunkey]

Now, let's say my fell took me to a jewelry store and picked out some beautiful $20,000 piece and had it customized. Well, that would make me feel very loved and I would be exhilerated and think "Wow, he really loves me!" Yeah, I would probably be a little kitten to him for a great while after that.

And that is the irony of it all. To a very wealthy person, 20k can be as little as a few days' worth of passive income yet it says "Wow, he really loves me!" to some women.

To a person who can randomly drop 20k on a discretionary item, their only valuable expendable asset is their time. But I doubt the same "wealth conscious" chick would think "Wow, he really loves me! He set aside two whole days just to be with me!"

HTH

 

[stilleto]

i just want to know one thing, gonelifting.

When is my necklace going to be ready???????????????

 

[mrplunkey]

i just want to know one thing, gonelifting.

When is my necklace going to be ready???????????????

Hah!

He may be working your necklace up while watching your avitar even as we speak. Are pearls ok?

 

[pintoca]

And that is the irony of it all. To a very wealthy person, 20k can be as little as a few days' worth of passive income yet it says "Wow, he really loves me!" to some women.

To a person who can randomly drop 20k on a discretionary item, their only valuable expendable asset is their time. But I doubt the same "wealth conscious" chick would think "Wow, he really loves me! He set aside two whole days just to be with me!"

HTH

This is, by far, one of the best C&C post I have ever read.

Just to add a bit to it, imagine this guy in that position:

"Forbes estimates Adelson earned about $1 million an hour over the past two years."

1 MIllion an hour, it would take a lot for that guy to show love to somebody...

 

[heatherrae]

And that is the irony of it all. To a very wealthy person, 20k can be as little as a few days' worth of passive income yet it says "Wow, he really loves me!" to some women.

To a person who can randomly drop 20k on a discretionary item, their only valuable expendable asset is their time. But I doubt the same "wealth conscious" chick would think "Wow, he really loves me! He set aside two whole days just to be with me!"

HTH

Yeah, I think the same way about him taking time off of work to be with just me, because that takes some manuevering on his part and also lets me know that he still really desires to be romantic with me.

Look, you and I are in similar places in life, and I can still tell you that no matter how much money comes in, jewelry says "I love you." My guy could get me a $100 dollar necklace, but my eyes would still sparkle more from that than if he handed me a $1000 gift certificate. It isn't the cost of the item so much and the symbolism.

I'm not saying that jewelry is the only thing that is a gesture of love. I also get smitten over poems, love letters, picnics, etc. I'm a WOMAN. We are just hard wired that way.