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Can a man be faithful to one woman?
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Mtime1 said:
When is the last time YOU went to Starbucks WITH A BABY and decided to "shoot the shit" with your friends? I can tell you FROM EXPERIENCE......this image does NOT conjure up visions of "YEA, THAT IS THE LIFE FOR ME!!!" ANY activity WITH KIDS can be a fucking nightmare! PERIOD! Anyone who says different is either a liar, delusional or just plain fucking ignorant!
Oh yes, I forgot taking care of the house and all the responsibilities that go with it and being largely responsible for the physical, emotional and spiritual wellbeing of another human being 24/7 IS NOT A JOB...IT IS FUN! And the benefits are BEYOND COMPREHENSION! NO VACATION, NO SICK DAYS, NO PAY INCREASES (BECAUSE YOU DON'T FUCKING GET ANY PAY...Oh wait a minute, when your spouse comes through the door after a "hard" day and says, "And just what did YOU do all day?" with an accusatory tone, as if you sat on your ass and ate fucking bon-bons - THAT IS YOUR PAY!
While the POOR MAN HAS to work! (Do you hear the world's smallest violin?) He gets to leave the house UNENCUMBERED and come home whenever he gets home NEVER HAVING TO FEAR FOR THE SAFETY AND EMOTIONAL WELL-BEING OF HIS CHILD! Could you put a price on that?...BECAUSE I SURE FUCKING CAN'T!
PUH-LEASE! Any man who even REMOTELY thinks that thier lives suck because they have to bring home a paycheck while thier wives have it easy "staying home on their asses with the kids" CAN KISS MY ROCK HARD ASS!
*Deep Breath*
I feel SOOOOOO much better now.
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35andfeel19 said:
AMEN, BROTHA....AAAAAAAMEN!
And thank you for your kind sentiments. It means a lot. Times are tough, but there is a light at the end of the tunnel....as long as I have my health and my girls are with me and they are alright - NOTHING CAN HURT US.
conan69
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Mtime1 said:
listen marrage if done right is a sacred bond of 2 loving people, the advantage is you find a life long partner, friend, conpanion, ect.
whats in it for us is happiness, by the way this is the 21 century and women and men are supposed to be equal
my future wife (my current girlfriend) will mostlikely make more than me, we have decided we do not want kids
so if i were to look at it in your superficial term
\whats in it for her, but marriage has no monatary label
so it shouldnt matter
Preach it bikinimom. "Stay at home" moms are unfortunately becoming less of a kind. At least a husband who works during the day has a chance to escape it all (at least for a little while), as opposed to the mom who NEVER gets a f#@$ break. Oh, and about kissing that rock hard ass....
Sassy69
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You said a mouthful BMom - I just got home from visiting my parents - they became new grandparents last week too! My mom is a 21st century mom - takes very little shit from dad, but amazingly I still see dad coming home from golf (they're retired now) and still sits down, grabs the paper and asks when is dinner ready and what is for dinner. I almost said "Dad, we're having soy chicken tonite - want some??"
I'm only 35 - I've been "invited to leave" a golf course for being female by an old fart working the greens (told him to F off) and was also told I'd never make it my field of study (physics) because I was a girl by the dean of the physics dept in college. (Also an old fart.) Interestingly, I chose to not play golf and prefer to heft iron around the gym and I also graduated with my BS in Physics cum laude, with a scholarship towards a PhD. (Of course I had the sense to change my field of study to computer science after the Challenger blew up - sort of stifled the astrophysics job market there...)
OK - I went on a wimmen's lib rant there for a minute. ..
I jokingly say I am looking for the guy who will bear my children, but I truly live for the day I can find a guy who is my equal and worth my time, effort and affection. I have very little time these days for one-nighters and can pick out an asshole a mile away. (FL is crawling w/ them.)
I think cheating is simply an expression of other problems w/ a marriage that have come to a head. The "us" became "you" and "me" and one of the two decided to turn to someone else for solace or attention. I think for women the act of physical cheating is not as bad as the implied breach of trust by going to another woman for the attention, confiding in someone else. For men the physical act is the breach of trust. However women may be more forgiving because there are so many that still completely believe in full dependence upon the man and may actually be in that position with no job, responsibility for the kids and not much else to start a new life with.
I personally have never cheated on anyone while I was dating them. I believe if I were ever married and was tempted to cheat, I'd skip the actual cheat opportunity and take it as a signal that something was severly lacking in my existing relationship and deal w/ that first.
I'm only 35 - I've been "invited to leave" a golf course for being female by an old fart working the greens (told him to F off) and was also told I'd never make it my field of study (physics) because I was a girl by the dean of the physics dept in college. (Also an old fart.) Interestingly, I chose to not play golf and prefer to heft iron around the gym and I also graduated with my BS in Physics cum laude, with a scholarship towards a PhD. (Of course I had the sense to change my field of study to computer science after the Challenger blew up - sort of stifled the astrophysics job market there...)
OK - I went on a wimmen's lib rant there for a minute. ..
I jokingly say I am looking for the guy who will bear my children, but I truly live for the day I can find a guy who is my equal and worth my time, effort and affection. I have very little time these days for one-nighters and can pick out an asshole a mile away. (FL is crawling w/ them.)
I think cheating is simply an expression of other problems w/ a marriage that have come to a head. The "us" became "you" and "me" and one of the two decided to turn to someone else for solace or attention. I think for women the act of physical cheating is not as bad as the implied breach of trust by going to another woman for the attention, confiding in someone else. For men the physical act is the breach of trust. However women may be more forgiving because there are so many that still completely believe in full dependence upon the man and may actually be in that position with no job, responsibility for the kids and not much else to start a new life with.
I personally have never cheated on anyone while I was dating them. I believe if I were ever married and was tempted to cheat, I'd skip the actual cheat opportunity and take it as a signal that something was severly lacking in my existing relationship and deal w/ that first.
35andfeel19
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Ah....Bikinimon.......you don't........by any chance......ah.......er.......well.......ah........you don't own any guns do you?
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Thank you, Sassy for putting my "rage" 
into much more civilized words. I just get so DAMNED sick and tired of men belly-aching about HOW MUCH marriage sucks for them and "how we get it all".
Growing up I watched my mother bust her behind (not saying that my dad didn't work) while my dad held all the cards. Did she wear the pants? To some degree, she did, because if she was not happy - NOBODY WAS HAPPY!......guess how happy we all were? I think you are all smart enough to figure out the answer to that question.
I always said that I would NEVER BECOME HER and despite my most conscious efforts to do the opposite - I DID BECOME HER (to varying degrees). This has just dawned on me most recently and I must accept responsibility for the subconscious sabotaging I did of my own adult life and figure out a way to NOT have my daughters do the same.
It is a bitter pill to swallow, I admit. But I guess that self-awareness is the first step.
I apologize for my harsh tone....Uhmmmmmm, wait a minute, NO I DON'T - I didn't say anything wrong and the tone was appropriate. So for you guys out there who think us women have this looooooong laundry list of benefits to marriage (when childrearing is involved...if you have no children then it doesn't really matter, now does it?) I defy you to show me ONE EXAMPLE of a "stay-at-home MOM" (GOD, I HATE THAT TERM...should be more like "imprisoned and devalued MOM") who has "the LIFE" while her POOR UNFORTUNATE husband's life is so miserable that we should all gather round him and stone the poor bastard to death and just end his suffering now......I will SHUT THE FUCK UP.
into much more civilized words. I just get so DAMNED sick and tired of men belly-aching about HOW MUCH marriage sucks for them and "how we get it all".Growing up I watched my mother bust her behind (not saying that my dad didn't work) while my dad held all the cards. Did she wear the pants? To some degree, she did, because if she was not happy - NOBODY WAS HAPPY!......guess how happy we all were? I think you are all smart enough to figure out the answer to that question.
I always said that I would NEVER BECOME HER and despite my most conscious efforts to do the opposite - I DID BECOME HER (to varying degrees). This has just dawned on me most recently and I must accept responsibility for the subconscious sabotaging I did of my own adult life and figure out a way to NOT have my daughters do the same.
It is a bitter pill to swallow, I admit. But I guess that self-awareness is the first step.
I apologize for my harsh tone....Uhmmmmmm, wait a minute, NO I DON'T - I didn't say anything wrong and the tone was appropriate. So for you guys out there who think us women have this looooooong laundry list of benefits to marriage (when childrearing is involved...if you have no children then it doesn't really matter, now does it?) I defy you to show me ONE EXAMPLE of a "stay-at-home MOM" (GOD, I HATE THAT TERM...should be more like "imprisoned and devalued MOM") who has "the LIFE" while her POOR UNFORTUNATE husband's life is so miserable that we should all gather round him and stone the poor bastard to death and just end his suffering now......I will SHUT THE FUCK UP.
Conan69.....If marriage is done right....
Problem is in this country more than half the people who are married don't do it right. They end up in divorse and that's where the men who have supported the family gets screwed.
I wish we could get it right and I don't know exactly why we don't. I hope you do.
I think part of the problem is that men and women are NOT equals. We are mentally, internally "wired" differently. Physically we are not equals. Not to say men are supperior. There are many things men should not do that women can do.
In any parnership, personal or business, one person has to have 51 % say. One person has to make the final decision. If there is a major decision to be made the man should talk with his partner and discuss all options and consider his partners opinion and feelings if opposit of his. Ultimately the responsibility should lye on the mans shoulders.
Good luck bro.
Problem is in this country more than half the people who are married don't do it right. They end up in divorse and that's where the men who have supported the family gets screwed.
I wish we could get it right and I don't know exactly why we don't. I hope you do.
I think part of the problem is that men and women are NOT equals. We are mentally, internally "wired" differently. Physically we are not equals. Not to say men are supperior. There are many things men should not do that women can do.
In any parnership, personal or business, one person has to have 51 % say. One person has to make the final decision. If there is a major decision to be made the man should talk with his partner and discuss all options and consider his partners opinion and feelings if opposit of his. Ultimately the responsibility should lye on the mans shoulders.
Good luck bro.
V
velvett
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bikinimom said:
I love you.
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