Boyfriend advice & working out

[PowerPrincess]

Well, he could just not be interested in working out and really does think you look fine & is satisfied with how you look......or.....he could feel threatened that you will look better & attract other men, thus dumping him in the process or is threatened that you found an interest away from him.....or neither....QUOTE]


I think you hit it on the head, he's always worried men are going to hit on me. It's kinda frusturating, b/c i'm always like are you crazy, they never talk to me - why would they start now, but he insists that they will....

he says he doesn't have time to go to the gym, and he has definitely put on 10lbs in the past 10 months at least in his belly....and i know he knows it.

 

[T&T]

Yes, definitely.

Jealousy is normal, but taken to the extreme is a sign of self confidence issues.

He looks like he's trying to bring you down to make himself look better. That's extreme! (this is just an opinion, from what I know of him, but I don't know much)

Does he do that on other occasion?
For example you go out with his friends and when you get a compliment, like:"You look fit, are you working out?" He jump in an answer for you with something like:"She doesn't work out that hard"

Is he older than you?

Is he considered rich?

 

[majutsu]

Wow . . . what a thread. Here's a man's point of view. My situation with Wend was odd. I was going to the gym already, into it, anabolics, etc. I had trouble with her wanting to get into it after me. I was initially terribly excited. The problem was, Wend is a pretty girl, and in about 1-2 weeks, 4-5 guys had asked me if we were "swingers", if they could ask her out, etc. And these were the nuts that talked to me . . . From her point of view, people would come up to her and put hands on her while she stretched, one guy talked about his life goals and asked to do paired massage, no doubt after seeing her drop off children at daycare. Fact is, men are dogs. Gym men in particular, do not seem to respect marriage, relationship or personal space. Wend had to learn unfamilar behavior patterns to avoid some dangerous situations: wearing headphones, less revealing more functional clothes, not making smal talk to people as often as she was inclined in the past, etc. Now it's been quite a while since there have been any significant problems and we are both comfortable. But there were some uncomfortable arguments where Wend was scared in response to some sexual harassment, and I was angry, yet also accusing her of "encouring" it. Ugly stuff . . .

So he's not crazy. If you go to the gym, it's a very physical, sexual place. You will be propositioned. Your libido will be up, with improved vitality. You will also look more attractive as you continue to go to the gym. If you all are unmarried, if he's stays home, uninterested in fitness, just making money and getting fatter, and you are interested in self-improvement and physicality, getting sexier, and being propositioned by healthy, sexy men daily, you all could grow apart. If he goes to the gym, against his instincts, he is "obeying" you, like his mother, and you got the power. That cannot be . . . He's stuck. Male POV

 

[wend]

If he goes to the gym, against his instincts, he is "obeying" you, like his mother, and you got the power. That cannot be . . . He's stuck.

That's why I suggested that the best way to encourage him is simply to set a great example of health and fitness (like Majutsu did for me). And to counteract the jealousy, you just need to reassure him, in as many ways as possible, that you love him and find him attractive, whatever his level of fitness. Hopefully, for the sake of your relationship and his health, he'll catch the fitness bug.

 

[jenscats5]

Wow Wend -- what a negative experience to go thru at they gym of all places!! Where everyone is supposed to be about health & fitness. jeez!

I go to a smaller more private type of gym & a lot of the men are gay so I don't have that problem. Plus I have a tendency to look PO'd when I workout so I guess I put off a lot of people.

 

[wend]

Yeah, it sucked. The guy that would put his hands on me and talk to me about his life goals, etc., was actually a PT that Maj had offered to pay to help me out, learning proper form. So at first I figured he was just doing what he was supposed to do (as far as touching me), but it started to get really uncomfortable...he'd do it when it wasn't at all necessary.

Now maybe y'all understand a little better why I'm not getting big hooters any time soon, or showing my panties at the gym, etc.

The headphones and "tunnel vision" tactic works very well, now. I hated it at first...I don't like being unfriendly (though I can certainly be an excellent bitch when someone asks for it), but it's the only thing that works for me in the gym, so I can get a good workout and get out of there without being bothered.

 

[Puddles]

PowerPrincess, just as his dedication to making money is high for him, your dedication to improving your physical fitness is high for you. He needs to understand this is something you do for yourself.

My husband had been training since before we met, and although I never understood why it was so important to him, I always supported him because it was something he enjoyed doing, it made him happy. It wasn't until a couple of years ago that I understood why he did what he did and now it's as much a part of my life as it is his...actually ours. It's become something we're both doing together which makes it even better.

Also, you know what kind of condition you want your body to be in, but he's happy with you just as you are. He's probably being quite honest there. Not everyone is hell bent on having a partner with a superior body. So, take his comments as they're probably intended, as flattery.

Explain to him that if he really does care about you though, he'll need to be supportive of what makes you happy, so if that means training or basket weaving, he should encourage you to reach your goals.

 

[majutsu]

Actually, I got an idea. Next time he's going on about the gym, tell him your really too tired from working out to listen to all that crap. In fact, tell him to shut up and go make you a sandwich because you need the protein. You can also tell him that if he behaves himself, you'll let him lick your pussy later.


j/k

 

[c3bodybuilding]

LOL @ wend and maj gym experience. This happens to me a lot with my fiancee'! This one rude guy always sparks up a conversation, but not just general chit chat, like trying to get a date. And some other goon who thinks he is a lady's man (balding, fat and a ponytail, girls watch out!) thinks she is in love with him. I overheard him one day in the back of the locker room (I was out front, he didn't see me) say "yeah she digs me, but the boyfriends always around messing it up). I starting laughing, when he came out he had his head down looking at the floor, and he was bright red. I told my fiancee' about it, and we had a good laugh.

She is just friendly like Wend seems to be. It's not in her nature to seem cold to others. Now she doesn't say a word to anyone in the gym. She was disgusted that he thought she was interested.

 

[wend]

I know just how she felt. It's really not right that a woman can't be friendly without some turd thinking she's after his man-thing. I mean, get a grip, guys. Take a reality check now and then, eh? But that's just what we have to deal with. Tell your fiance that she's not alone! (And to get used to it.)