Sassy69 said:
(courtesy of gotmojo from the POW board, sans POW)
1) NOT KISSING FIRST
Avoiding her lips and diving straight for the erogenous zones makes her feel like you're paying by the hour and trying to get your money's worth by cutting out nonessentials. A proper passionate kiss is the Ultimate form of foreplay.
=> First of all, how true, kissing is a fundamental part of foreplay.Well, not only kissing on the lips, but all over. There are genital and non-gential erogenous zones all over the body, the intelligent man will know how and where to take advantage of that. Foreplay is (very) crucial to women, not only on a psychological plane preparatory towards intercourse, but namely a physiological one, for the same reason. There are minimally three physiological reasons that come to my mind:
1. To provide sufficient lubrication for the vagina, as well as providing surrounding erectile tissue with lubrication (that's usually the most obvious one men know of).
2. During such a phase, the vagina undergoes an elongation from its average normal 7.5-10 cm to create the accompanying adjustments in order to recieve the penis.
3. The cervix also moves out of the way, whereby direct contact to the cervix maybe could be unpleasent or even hurtful.
A psychosexological reason is that of with women with decreased sexual arousal, "the most common complaint is the absence of subjective sexual excitement or pleasure despite adequate physical arousal (eg, lubrication)." (Arousal disorders in women: complaints and complexities. Med J Aust. 2003 Jun 16;178(12):638-40. Leiblum SR).
Sassy69 said:
3) NOT SHAVING
You often forget you have a porcupine strapped to your chin which you rake repeatedly across your partner's face and thighs. When she turns her head from side to side, it's not passion, it's avoidance.
=> I agree, we need to shave.
Sassy69 said:
4) SQUEEZING HER BREAST
Most men act like a housewife testing a melon for ripeness when they get their hand on a pair. Stroke, caress, and smooth them.
=> Nothing wrong with gently squeezing, grabbing (something we love to do during intercourse) or massaging the breasts.
Sassy69 said:
5) BITING HER NIPPLES
Why do men fasten onto a woman's nipples, then! clamp down like they're trying to deflate her body via her breasts? Nipples are highly sensitive. They can't stand up to chewing. Lick and suck them gently. Flicking your tongue across them is good. Pretending they're a dogie toy isn't.
=> Don't see anything wrong with gentle nibbles.
Sassy69 said:
6) TWIDDLING HER NIPPLES
Stop doing that thing where you twiddle the nipples between finger and thumb like you're trying to find a radio station in a hilly area. Focus on the whole breasts, not just the exclamation points.
=> I agree with focus on the whole, but see nothing bad about twiddling.
Sassy69 said:
14) BEING OBSESSED WITH THE VAGINA
Although most men can find the clitoris without ma! ps, they still believe that the vagina is where it's all at. No sooner is your hand down there than you're trying to stuff stolen banknotes up a chimney. This is OK in principle, but if you're not careful, it can hurt - so don't get carried away. It's best to pay more attention to her clitoris and the exterior of her vagina at first, then gently slip a finger inside her and see if she likes it.
Sassy69 said:
18) GOING TOO FAST
When you get to the penis-in-vagina situation, the worst thing you can do is pump away like an industrial power tool -she'll soon feel like an assembly-line worker made obsolete by your technology. Build up slowly, with clean, straight, regular thrusts.
=> Good point. Especially going slow from the start, as this avoids discomfort as well as pain, or even injury. That's also very important if the woman is a virgin.
Sassy69 said:
25) NOT WARNING HER BEFORE YOU CLIMAX
Sperm tastes like sea water mixed with egg white. Not everybody likes it. When she's performing oral Sex, warn her before you come so she can do what's necessary.
=> Well let's talk about what makes men and women "stink", for a second. The largest impactor is environment, the most modifiable one is lifestyle, hygiene and eating habits. There are foods which will make humans and their excretions stink and have a bad taste. There are also diseases, STDs and infections which will do that.
Fruits (which contain the sweet sugar fructose) increase sweet taste like apples, red grapes, strawberries, peaches, lemons, pears, bananas, oranges, grapefruits, pineapple. Apple juice is a rich fructose source. Pineapple is said to improve taste and sweetness. There is actually a product claimed to sweeten semen, called "Semenex" is said to contain: pineapple, banana, strawberry, broccoli and celery "at nine times their normal concentrations" (Semnex website) they say together with 3 essential spices, and vitamins and minerals. They also say one would have to drink seven 8oz. glasses of pineapple juice "just to" equal the pineapple in a single serving of Semenex. They say their product is patent. Searching the US patent office yielded a particular patent: USP 6,485,773, "Semen taste-enhancement dietary supplement" Nov. 2002, Myers BR, Myers LK, there can be found the more specific formulation. Another product called: "Sweet Release" has the claim to create an apple flavor in semen. Which according to them contains: "A proprietary blend of fruit solids, Cranberry powder and may include one or more of the following (apple powder, mango powder, blueberry powder and cherry powder, cellulose vegetable material)." Whereas the "Sweet Release Soft Citrus" for women to enhance their cunnilingus taste, which is said to give a more "pleasent citrus" flavor. Which contains: "Proprietary blend of fruit solids, Cranberry powder and may include one or more of the following (grapefruit powder, lemon powder, lime powder and orange powder, cellulose vegetable material)." Sweet Release sellers say changes with their products take like 7-28 days to notice.
Anyhow, cabbage, asparagus, onions, garlic, etc. are known stink foods. Take asparagus, for example, which has been found to yield S-methylthioacrylate and also its methanethiol addition product, S-methyl-3-(methyl-thio)thiopropionate among other sulfurous containing organic compounds formed in the body like dimethyl sulfide, sulfoxide and sulfone, etc. which produce stinky urine with a smell resembling rotten cabbage due to ingestion of asparagus (Food idiosyncrasies: beetroot and asparagus. Mitchell SC. Drug Metab Dispos. 2001 Apr;29(4 Pt 2):539-43). Drugs (like amphetamines), smoking, alcohol and the process of aging contribute to or cause odor. I could talk about this quite a bit, it suffices to say that both man and woman got some bogus chemicals down there in their secretes (polyamines) -- that's right, we both stink.
Sassy69 said:
26) MOVING AROUND DURING FELLATIO
Don't thrust. She'll do all the moving during fellatio. You just lie there. And don't grab her head.
=> We will be sometimes somehow inclined to grab the head during fellatio. I would say, maybe don't do it, only if the woman is going relatively slow, where I would feel inclined to sometimes massage her hair and head (standing or sitting position), lying there is great too, of course.
Sassy69 said:
27) TAKING ETIQUETTE ADVICE FROM PORN MOVIES
In X-rated movies, women ! seem to love it when men ejaculate over them. In real life, it just means more laundry to do.
=> Well, porn does tend to be set-up and misleading at times. Nevertheless, built-in into our biological hardware, we feel real good if we ejaculate inside the vagina. The next best thing for us men is if we can at least get it to make contact with the woman. I can see that expecting women to swallow during fellatio or seminal rectal deposition might be undesirable by alot of women and justifyably so, but that at least, say, during fellatio you let us get off in your mouth, then you expel (preferably not spit!) it out of the mouth without a disgusted face, better yet be smiling afterwards. And goodness gracious, if not even that, then well at least with the hands start caressing near the end and afterwards for a bit letting it get all over, while looking at us like "ouwhh" and maybe then bite your left or right side of the lower lip while at it (could also instead, smear in on the cheeks while smiling in standing position or alternatively let it get over your mouth (with the lips closed) and lower part of face, and then we wipe it away with our sticks afterwards). That's all we ask.
Sassy69 said:
31) NOT BEING IMAGINATIVE ENOUGH
Imagination is anything from drawing patterns on her back to pouring honey on her and licking it off. Fruit, vegetables, ice and feathers are all handy props; hot candle wax and ! permanent dye are a no no.
=> True, as the saying goes, variety is the spice of life. Be creative. Good advice. Don't forget whipping cream (think Meet the Fockers).
Sassy69 said:
33) ARRANGING HER IN STUPID POSES
If she wants to do advanced yoga in bed, fine, but unless she's a Romanian gymnast, don't get too ambitious. Ask yourself if you want a sexual partner with snapped hamstrings.
=> I think it is a good idea to practice a variety of sexual positions. The term "stupid" is rather abstract and should need to have an example of what "stupid" incorporates. Common sense is key to anything, if she is in a position where she might get hurt, of course don't go through with it. Yoga, and especially gymnast women particularily due to their dynamic nature, are very sexy in that way.
Sassy69 said:
34) LOOKING FOR HER PROSTATE
Read this carefully: Anal stimulation feels good for men because they have a prostate. Women don't.
=> Well, yah, it's an unsound choice for both men and women alike. And this covers rectal, as opposed to stimulation of the anus. ARI penetration can result in all types of discomfort, pain, contusions, lacerations, ulcerations, fissures, fistulas, anal bleeding, anal cancer (any HPVs aside, directly via seminal rectal deposition, see: Sexual behaviour and increased anal cancer. Immunol Cell Biol. 1997 Apr;75(2):181-3. Ablin RJ, Stein-Werblowsky R), hemorrhoids, incontinence, weaker immune system (seminal deposition due to immunosuppressive properties of semen), an object entering the rectum over 8 inches (20 cm) can yield a potentially fatal colonorrhagia by impacting and perforating the sensitive tissues of the colon, rectosigmoid tears (fisting), naturally occurring-bacteria (coliform bacteria) getting into our urethra causing infection (like cystitis), etc. That's on top of regular intercourse complications or risks (which are relatively little in comparision). Experimentation, nevertheless, would best be implemented by incorporating and utilizing all known necessary precautionary steps (relaxation, generous with lube, slow pace and initiation, condom). And bearing in mind, precautions serve to minimize, not eliminate risks. Informing the partner of at least some of the known risks is also honest (and not many people know what type of risks exist here, that's why I mentioned them). Forget anal fisting altogether. The safest way of "anal stimulation" would be anilingus with a latex barrier. But we are men, that would only last so long, we gotta poke stuff, you know. I personally don't expect women to like it, although I might be alone on this one *looks around* *sees a tumbleweed and breeze of wind pass by* You can thank pornography for that one, ladies.
Sassy69 said:
35) GIVING LOVE BITES
It is highly erotic to exert some gentle suction on the sides of the neck, if you do it carefully. No woman wants to have to wear turtlenecks and jaunty scarves for weeks on end.
=> Ah man, you mean I can't bite down like Count Dracula? What's the world coming to...
Sassy69 said:
37) TALKING DIRTY
It makes you sound like a lonely magazine editor calling a 1-900 line. If she likes nasty talk, she'll let you know
=> We men like the flirt and dirty talk. We like to talk, but we like hearing sexy things during (especially) and before sex, positive feedback afterward is also good. Here is an example of what I mean, if you say simple things, like moaning and then telling us how good it feels (it's a classic), or "do you like that?", or asking us how it feels to be inside you, maybe telling us how you like our balls banging up against you, etc. That's real hot. Let me emphasize it again, it's hot and makes sex hotter. Anyways, the real harsh stuff, though, is reserved to a smaller group of men. Then there is actually a book that caught my interest, it's called Sex Talk by Aline P., Ph.D. Zoldbrod, Lauren Dockett (2002) let me reemphasize what I've said by citing an excerpt out of their book: "Silence is the true enemy of sexual pleasure. Talk is its greatest ally. Talk dissolves fears. It unearths desires. Talk builds trust and conspiratorial highs. Talk is sexy". I would just like to refine that statement, by stating that not solely talk alone but rather verbal or acoustic expression and feedback is its greatest ally. Dirty talk also falls under this category.
Sassy69 said:
38) NOT CARING WHETHER SHE COMES
You have to finish the job. Keep on trying until you get it right, and she might even do the same for you.
=> Some of these mistakes - of the ones which are actual mistakes, I do say if anyone is doing them like this one, I don't believe should even be having sex in the first place.
Sassy69 said:
39) SQUASHING HER
Men generally weigh more than women, so if you lie on her a bit too heavily, she will turn blue.
=> I'm a real walrus. Ok, I'll loose weight, eh, after this last bucket of ice cream.
Sassy69 said:
40) THANKING HER
Never thank a woman for having Sex with you. Your bedroom is not a soup kitchen.
=> What if after the session, I look her in the eyes run my hands through her hair, smile and say "thanks"... not allowed every now and then? There are other ways of thanking, it could be in the form of a kiss, which of what goes right into the afterplay -- which women so much love.
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