40 Mistakes Men Make During Sex...

[needtogetaas]

This is the problem with moden sexuality. Men do all of the hard work while women critique them.

Hence....the popularity of porn.

you the fucken man bro.

 

[jenscats5]

This is the problem with moden sexuality. Men do all of the hard work while women critique them.

Hence....the popularity of porn.

Suuuuuurrreeeee they do....

 

[musclemom]

you the fucken man bro.

He's the fucking lonely man ... hense his reliance on porn

 

[Sassy69]

Suuuuuurrreeeee they do....

lol Like Samantha says on "Sex & the city" -- "They dont' just call it a 'blow job' for nuthin, honey".

 

[needtogetaas]

He's the fucking lonely man ... hense his reliance on porn

I like some porn to ya know

 

[Cutiebaby]

I like some porn to ya know

How does it feel to like?????????????

 

[musclemom]

I like some porn to ya know

Needto, MAJOR difference between LIKING porn and RELYING on porn

 

[needtogetaas]

How does it feel to like?????????????

I like porn.I love you.

 

[Hiatussin]

4) SQUEEZING HER BREAST

Most men act like a housewife testing a melon for ripeness when they get their hand on a pair. Stroke, caress, and smooth them.

Then why do they do it themselves? How can you even stroke, caress, or smooth them when she is bouncing on top of you? either you grab them or you don´t touch them. It doesn´t hurt.

10) ATTACKING THE CLITORIS

Direct pressure is very unpleasant, so gently rotate your fingers along side of the clitoris.

I don´t usually even have the balls to attack that thing as hard as she does herself. I have pretty big strong hands, I´ve used all my force before with thumb or finger. That´s not the exposed part of the clit though, the part right above it. you know what I´m talking about. She´s odd.

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11) STOPPING FOR A BREAK

Women, unlike men, don't pick up where they left off. If you stop, they plummet back to square one very fast. If you can tell she's not there, keep going at all costs, numb jaw or not.

Often it´s either a break, or cumming too quick. What about changing positions?

15) MASSAGING TOO ROUGHLY

You're attempting to give her a sensual, relaxing massage to get her in the mood. Hands and fingertips are OK; elbows and knees are not.

lmao. Massaging with elbows and knees? like a Ukranian Chiro?

19) GOING TOO HARD If you bash your great triangular hip bones into her thigh or stomach, the pain is equal to two weeks of horseback riding concentrated into a few seconds.

I have more touble doing it hard enough, than soft enough

21) NOT COMING SOON ENOUGH

It may appear to you that humping for an hour without climaxing is the mark of a Sex god, but to her it's more likely the mark of a numb vagina. At least buy some intriguing wall hangings, so she has something to hold her interest while you're playing Marathon Man.

These are the best times. You try every position in the book. I´ve always had the best reactions to these sessions.

24) NUDGING HER HEAD DOWN

Men persist in doing this until she's eyeball-to-penis, hoping that it will lead very swiftly to mouth-to-penis. All women hate this. It's about three steps from being dragged to a cave by their hair. If you want her to use her mouth, use yours; try talking seductively to her.

I´ve never seen my gf as heated up and wet and passionate as the first time I force myself on her orally in a rough way.

25) NOT WARNING HER BEFORE YOU CLIMAX

Sperm tastes like sea water mixed with egg white. Not everybody likes it. When she's performing oral Sex, warn her before you come so she can do what's necessary.

She can always tell. Besides, she should like it. I go down even when she´s on the rag, or has a lot of secretion. Don´t be a fucking fuss. Besides, I know how my sperm tastes, it´s NOT as salt as sea water and its definately not disgusting, unless you have mental issues with the ordeal.

26) MOVING AROUND DURING FELLATIO

Don't thrust. She'll do all the moving during fellatio. You just lie there. And don't grab her head.

She moves around, and grabs my head when I go down on her. She likes it now and then when I put my belt around her neck and pull her around with it like a leash.

27) TAKING ETIQUETTE ADVICE FROM PORN MOVIES

In X-rated movies, women ! seem to love it when men ejaculate over them. In real life, it just means more laundry to do.

I guess I should, whenever I´m about to cum, excuse myself to the toilet, and shoot right in there, so we can just flush and get that troublesome thing over with? Do you know why they do that stuff in porn? BECAUSE IT TURNS US ON! For me, that would be enough to do next to anything.

A woman liking it when a man cums on her or in her mouth is a true sign of lust, it has a symbolic value where she is appreciative that he finds her so attractive that it makes him orgasm, it´s an oppertunity for a not feminist, not stuck-up woman to tease him a bit. You don´t like the taste? Do you think YOU taste like strawberry milkshake? No. But I like that taste because it is hers, and I love her, and it´s the taste of pussy, and as a straight man, all things good are defined by pussy. You grow to like it. Get over yourself.

I´m sick of this fucking shit, where men are supposed to crawl through the dust to please women, and women are supposed to be praised for letting us hit it in the first place. If thats how it´s going to be played, I´ll take some lube and a good DVD, thank you very much.

28) MAKING HER RIDE ON TOP FOR AGES

Asking her to be on top is fine. Lying there grunting while she does all the hard work is not. Caress her gently, so that she doesn't feel quite so much like the captain of a schooner. And let her have a rest.

Fine, once again just realise, most of the time WE do "all the fucking work" and everybody thinks its normal.

31) NOT BEING IMAGINATIVE ENOUGH

Imagination is anything from drawing patterns on her back to pouring honey on her and licking it off. Fruit, vegetables, ice and feathers are all handy props; hot candle wax and ! permanent dye are a no no.

I´m glad there are lists like this. Imagine we´d ourselves have to think of something more exciting or original than ice or feathers, or have to decide for ourselves whether we think hot candle wax is too freaky or not

32) SLAPPING YOUR STOMACH AGAINST HERS

There is no less erotic noise. It's as sexy as a belching contest.

It´s just there, sorry. If you´re going to kiss while doing missionary, stomachs are going to touch at the bottom, even if you´re skinny.

33) ARRANGING HER IN STUPID POSES

If she wants to do advanced yoga in bed, fine, but unless she's a Romanian gymnast, don't get too ambitious. Ask yourself if you want a sexual partner with snapped hamstrings.

I´ve had nothing but positive feedback from this, even to the point where she´s training flexibility again now (was a gymnast when she was younger)

34) LOOKING FOR HER PROSTATE

Read this carefully: Anal stimulation feels good for men because they have a prostate. Women don't.

A lot of women like it up the ass. A lot of other women are afraid to admit it.

35) GIVING LOVE BITES

It is highly erotic to exert some gentle suction on the sides of the neck, if you do it carefully. No woman wants to have to wear turtlenecks and jaunty scarves for weeks on end.

Grade school stuff. Does anyone actually do that?

36) BARKING INSTRUCTIONS

Don't shout encouragement like a coach with a megaphone. It's not a big turn-on.

Not my thing either, but for many it IS big turn-on

38) NOT CARING WHETHER SHE COMES

You have to finish the job. Keep on trying until you get it right, and she might even do the same for you.

Nothing is more pathetic than hopelessly trying forever, until or after her pussy is already too sore to take any stimulation. Better to let it slide and rethink the strategy for the next time.

40) THANKING HER

Never thank a woman for having Sex with you. Your bedroom is not a soup kitchen.

I don´t understand how thanking her equates it to soup.
She thanks me when I get her off, usually under the breath of a hot kiss.
I think I thanked her the first few times she gave head, that´s it.

 

[Testosterone boy]

He's the fucking lonely man ... hense his reliance on porn

I don't rely on anything.

I don't have 50 cents worth of porn at my main house.

Who the hell are you anyway?