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Is my cousin gay or just asexual?

calveless wonder

calveless wonder

New member
I'm starting to wonder... and yes, this is a serious thread

love him to death, and he's actually the cousin closest to my age group and is the only one i can really party with and have a good time...but when it comes to girls he's not even on the map. he's 2 years younger than me...

he's a good looking dude, well dressed, been all over the world, smart and charimastic. Like me, he's had alot of cool experiences, seen alot of the world and has pretty much seen the finest side of upper class life. we're actualy a really good duo when we hang out and have alot of fun when we go out because we're both fairly classy/cultured and really good at talking to people. However, he doesn't have a girlfriend and doesn't bang random girls either. i've never heard him mentioning he was "dating" anyone. on the other side of the spectrum, im almost positive hes never done anything homosexual. none of his friends or people he hang out with fit that profile

I thought he was 100% going to be gay when he was in high school but he ended up having a smoking model type girlfriend and figured he was going to be ok. and then when he went to college and became a fun party dude.

So basically, i don't know if he's gay or just doesn't know how to get laid. He'll say that so and so girl is hot and when we've been out i've seen chicks dance up on him and he looked into it. One time he actually told me he needed to start working on his game, etc..and i offered him a few tips but that was as far as the conversation went.

my immediate family basically took him in as a son (since i'm considered the wild one) but he's always been around the females of my family and as a result picked up certain feminine traits. I make fun of him because he's snobby and picky (like some of the females in my family) about alot of things. that part worries me because he sounds like my sister and my mother

his dad worked overseas, so he never really had that influence.I always tried, but i was always the extreme version of male influence. He's heard my stories, seen me do some crazy things with girls but i don't think he ever picked up on it or learned.

i wouldn't care either way, but it's something that makes me think.
 
crew9 said:
He is probably just shy when it comes to girls.
Click to expand...

he's not though. he has no problem talking to women. Girls i would get nervous talking to he has no problem with. He's mingled with super hot female celebs like it was nothing. i just think he didn't develop *any* sense of sexuality, which in my family is not a surprise. male influence is not a strong point.
 
calveless wonder said:
he's not though. he has no problem talking to women. Girls i would get nervous talking to he has no problem with. He's mingled with super hot female celebs like it was nothing. i just think he didn't develop *any* sense of sexuality, which in my family is not a surprise. male influence is not a strong point.
Click to expand...

Then gay or asexual are both strong options haha.
 
Or he's just not caught up in all the overbearing pompous gas bagging male posturing that seems to dominate this planet. :whatever: I dunno, never met him. But he seems like he's actually got his sexuality in check.........think about it.
 
redsamurai said:
Or he's just not caught up in all the overbearing pompous gas bagging male posturing that seems to dominate this planet. :whatever: I dunno, never met him. But he seems like he's actually got his sexuality in check.........think about it.
Click to expand...

nah ... pretty sure he's a Mo
 
calveless wonder said:
that's an interesting perspective
Click to expand...


and maybe that's why women gravitate towards him, but he only intimately associates with females who are congruent with him. The average bar whore, no matter how hot, probably doesn't phase him. I've known one guy like this in my life........women threw themselves at him, mostly probably cause they knew he couldn't care less. The guy could go awhile without having sex, didn't phase him at all.......yet he women literally came at him like linebackers, and hot women too. It's like women have this internal sensor for men who aren't ruled by their dicks, to which they go into hunter killer mode to prove that they can fuck him up. Females really are terribly scandalous......:biggrin:
 
An ex of mine has a brother like this. She doesn't know what his deal is. Maybe repressive gayz?
 
calveless wonder said:
he's not though. he has no problem talking to women. Girls i would get nervous talking to he has no problem with. He's mingled with super hot female celebs like it was nothing. i just think he didn't develop *any* sense of sexuality, which in my family is not a surprise. male influence is not a strong point.
Click to expand...

Theres a difference between talking to wimminz and talking to wimminz, IMO.
 
redsamurai said:
and maybe that's why women gravitate towards him, but he only intimately associates with females who are congruent with him. The average bar whore, no matter how hot, probably doesn't phase him. I've known one guy like this in my life........women threw themselves at him, mostly probably cause they knew he couldn't care less. The guy could go awhile without having sex, didn't phase him at all.......yet he women literally came at him like linebackers, and hot women too. It's like women have this internal sensor for men who aren't ruled by their dicks, to which they go into hunter killer mode to prove that they can fuck him up. Females really are terribly scandalous......:biggrin:
Click to expand...
great post dude

actually, you just described me. wow, thats actually kinda crazy accurate. I've changed my position slightly from this in that i'm not *as* picky, but i normally don't like fucking or pursuing girls i don't feel on more just than a physical level. I could be a huge male whore, but it's honestly never really appealed to me in itself. the attention and variety is nice, sure...and the experience of getting to know someone new, but the sexual aspect of it has been the primary motivating factor

i could certainly see that being the case with him, to an extent....but there would be at least a few prospects he'd click with and pursue.
 
Its hard to tell. Seriously.
I NEVER dated in high school. Didn't have my first "boyfriend" until I was almost 18 ...... and boy, I was sooo mean to him. Just wasn't into him.
My parents thought I might be geigh... but they didn't tell me this until after my wedding. They just said I was so into sports, all of my friends were male and I didn't really do tha hair/makeup/dressup thing.... so they thought I was maybe lesbian.
When I think about it, I'm not real sure about WHY I was like that. Sure, I was popular and I could have had great boyfriends or whatever... just had my own plans and wasn't really wanting to share my time with someone beyond friends.
Maybe he is just being picky.
 
unless you see him actually turning down guaranteed vag, you can't be sure that issue isn't his game
 
Smurfy said:
"Oh look at me. I'm classy/cultured and upper class."
Click to expand...
LOL

I dunno...
I first think that there are some peeps that are well not just sexually motivated, I mean it's there... but not really there, there, as in normal.
The average male I believe has some sort of sex related desire thought go through every 10 seconds...

Thing is what I find odd about your cousin is that dude likes to party, but is not interested in girls.
The main reason I partied in undergrad... and I don't think I'm the odd one here is the possibility of getting laid.

I think the whole market, just about everything around you or 80% of it revolves around the 'possibility of getting laid'.
Not Freud, just the way it is in conditional reality.

So why does he party? How does one have fun in undergrad at a party without trying to get laid? I mean that's fundamental no?
What is feminine? Is he open about his emotions and express his vulnerabilities?
Is that what you mean? Or do you mean he wears panties? I'm not sure...

If it's the former, then it would be most likely he is gay, because have a clarity in emotional expression, yet not express a fundamental lifestyle preference of male or female would not be likely as you describe him.
If he wears panties... well dude probably just is or just likes wearing panties.

Something here doesn't make sense.
Anyway...
Probably Gay.
 
Very strange story... however there are anomalies.
You already know deep down.
You are an intuitive guy.
If you guys are this close...
U know.
Either way.... you'll still kick it anyway.
 
-Ariel- said:
LOL

I dunno...
I first think that there are some peeps that are well not just sexually motivated, I mean it's there... but not really there, there, as in normal.
The average male I believe has some sort of sex related desire thought go through every 10 seconds...

Thing is what I find odd about your cousin is that dude likes to party, but is not interested in girls.
The main reason I partied in undergrad... and I don't think I'm the odd one here is the possibility of getting laid.

I think the whole market, just about everything around you or 80% of it revolves around the 'possibility of getting laid'.
Not Freud, just the way it is in conditional reality.

So why does he party? How does one have fun in undergrad at a party without trying to get laid? I mean that's fundamental no?
What is feminine? Is he open about his emotions and express his vulnerabilities?
Is that what you mean? Or do you mean he wears panties? I'm not sure...
Click to expand...

I'm going to have to disagree with that assessment. Sure, alot of people (males mostly) party to get laid or try to get laid, but not everyone does. And certainly not all the time. Sometimes people like to just hang out with their friends...especially if they're in a relationship. For me the appeal in partying is feeling good (drunk), saying and doing funny things, and meeting new people. sometimes that includes women who i might want to sleep with. I really don't go out with the intention of getting laid ever. If i meet a chick i click with and im attracted to, then great...but its not my intention. i go out with the intention of having a good time, and i know i'm not the only one

when i say he has certain feminine tendencies, i mean that he's sometimes kinda snobby and whiney in the way a spoiled/snotty rich girl might be. He also can be kinda gossipy too. Not to the extreme, and sometimes he has points that i agree with, but hes a little bitch about it. and no, i wouldn't say hes vulnerable etc. hes sensitive im sure but he plays his cards really well in public
 
Smurfy said:
does he have a lisp?
Click to expand...

Have you ever met a straight dude with a lisp?
Worse than a facial tic.
To have both... that my friend is character...
Okay, not funny.
Man I so can't wait to board and then crash after take off.
 
lol. why not just ask him?
he might suffer from small dick syndrome and maybe thats why he won't go to bed with them and hit the home run.
 
still say you should MYOB... who he gets nekkid with (if he does) is his business and nobody's else.
 
yeah rnch, but people are nosey. everyone has to know everything about everyone else.
but if it was me, i would truly ask him. i believe honesty is one of the top three important things in life.
 
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