Women, if a man did not pay the tab on the first date, would you go on a second date?

[heatherrae]

If I ask the girl out I pay, PERIOD, end of story, but if a girl asks me out and it's been several dates then I expect HER to pay, or offer to pay, or maybe pay the tip.

I notice many women here are looking at the man paying as some sort of "sign" of what kind of man he is.

Well I look at the issue the same way, if a woman ask me out and pays or at least offers then I have MORE respect for her.

I am sure a lot of men here have been used for their money.

I make a lot of money and I have had women attempt to use me. I had one girl once tell me after the second date that her favorite stone was emerald and that her ex bought it for her all the time. She dropped so many hints about "emeralds" being the perfect surprise gift that I felt like buying her one just to get her to stop talking about it.

There was another girl who I dated for about a month or two. All very casual more like a friendship than a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship, no sex what-so-ever and about the 5th date she calls me up to take me out to dinner for my "birthday".

She had made reservations at a nice restaurant "Capital Grill" in DC.

I thought it was very sweet but at the end of the dinner when the check came she just sat on her hands until I picked it up and paid the tab.

It wasn't the "money" but I felt disrespected and used. I could have made so many other plans for my birthday.

I never saw her again.

Again I make a high 6 figure income, but if a girl calls to ask me out, especially after several dates, I expect her to pay some portion of that tab. it shows me she isn't taking advantage of me, that she's showing how IMPORTANT I am to her by paying and so on.

Many of you women who are so concerned about how YOU feel should reverse the roll and see how maybe YOU can make the man feel appreciated and so on.

And ladies it's not the "other" things you do because as a man I also do many "other" things.

Plus those other things like "cooking" and so on. I actually love to cook for dates and I am a very good cook and I honestly can't remember the last time a date cooked for me. It's been years.

In any event paying the tab can also show a MAN the kind of woman you are. One of my favorite girl friends was a CIA employee and she usually paid every 3rd or 4th date. She said "I am taking you out this is my treat".

We dated for about a year until she was transferred over seas.

She was one CLASSY lady. I've never respected a woman more than I did her and I LOVED taking her out and buying things because I FELT cared for and appreciated by her gestures of taking me out and so on.

It's a TWO way street, any relationship is a two way street for all the issues.

You have been with some RUDE women!

If I asked you out for your birthday, I would absolutely pay the tab and bring you a birthday present to boot. It doesn't matter how much money you have and she has, it's your birthday!

If you haven't had a woman cook for you in years, you need to date me! lol. I spoil my man, when I have one.

 

[Bikini Mod]

to each their own. id rather a girls first impression of me be for my character, personality, and fun-ness to be around. not how much of a high roller i am

Darlin - you are a BOY - no disrespect. You would no more be interested in me for a date than I would be interested in you.

I haven't put down anyone on this thread but I see plenty of peeps tryin to turn that around.

If a man's money is the most important thing to him then why should I bother going on a date? I will NEVER replace his money. <---- something that gold-diggers fail to see...

I want to be NUMBER ONE with any man I choose to give my attention. This makes me less how?

 

[Bikini Mod]

to each their own. id rather a girls first impression of me be for my character, personality, and fun-ness to be around. not how much of a high roller i am

High rollers are hardly impressive. They are 9 out of 10 times obnoxious controlling loud ASSHOLES.

 

[Bikini Mod]

I'm not trying to put words in your mouth. I just didn't understand that.

So, you think that if a guy takes you to a nice restaraunt and the meal is a little pricey, it implies a certain level of seriousness in the relationship? I've never thought of it that way. I also never thought it was bad that they were trying to impress me. I think that is a good thing that they are trying to put their best foot forward. I try to impress them too. I try to dress up, maybe have my hair and nails done that day. I try to be on my best behavior,etc. I think that is just a matter of showing interest in one another. I like it.

Now, if a guy was just being obnoxious and handing the waitress $100 tips and stuff, that would just be ostentatious and pretentious, and I wouldn't like him. However, taking me to a nice place is just nice.

WERD

 

[heatherrae]

to each their own. id rather a girls first impression of me be for my character, personality, and fun-ness to be around. not how much of a high roller i am

It isn't about being a high roller, kiddo. I've said on this thread that the date could be a 50 cent cup of coffee at the park. It is a matter of not treating your date the same as you would treat a drinking buddy on the first date. It doesn't have to be expensive if the guy doesn't have much money. He just needs to be a gentleman.

 

[Faizakafez]

okay serious question, hopefully i didnt wnat to create a thread hopefully it will get burried in some posts..

say you have been talking to a girl for a while she is real nice girl and wanted to do kinda like a picnic thingy on the beach

is bringing a flower (key word letter A)

is it

a) ghey b) stupid c) douche d) any other words you can think of ?

 

[nefertiti]

What words did I put into your mouth?

I asked you to explain why you felt uncomfortable. I didn't venture a guess.

Not you. heather did. Heather - I PMed you some details that might make it more clear why I was put off...

 

[CrazyRussian]

dont worry about those money grubbing idiots. i think you have amazing character and your humility and all that is way more attractive in a personality than those 2 old spoiled brats will ever be.

ill take you to mortons, ruths chris, sam and harrys, or mcdonalds, your choice

This is such a great post.

Nefertiti's character/personality is so much more attractive and down-to-earth than some bitch who thinks that she's the shit and that she DESERVES everything and that you have to EARN her. Often times based on nothing...

I'd ENJOY paying for an expensive meal for someone like nef. Because when you guys are having your dining "experience" (eating, drinking, talking), you're just talking, trying to get to know each other, and enjoying each other's company. When the check comse at the end, it's an afterthough because you enjoy that person so much.

Now compare this to the POWER-DATING scenario lots of women like where everything is constantly a game, from what champagne you order to what steak you order to who picks up the tab. Who the fuck finds that enjoyable?

 

[nefertiti]

okay serious question, hopefully i didnt wnat to create a thread hopefully it will get burried in some posts..

say you have been talking to a girl for a while she is real nice girl and wanted to do kinda like a picnic thingy on the beach

is bringing a flower (key word letter A)

is it

a) ghey b) stupid c) douche d) any other words you can think of ?

What kind of flower?

 

[Faizakafez]

What kind of flower?

i dont no. not a rose or anything ( i think thats to senitmental)

I dont wanna look like a softy with the flower ,

but she is a petite kinda girl...

becuase 95% of the time i get your soo sweet... and thats it!