women are assholes, not you girls though. just listen

[amor9818]

okay, first to start off..not all women are assholes, but most are..im sooo mad ladies. give me some support here, please.

okay, i just started my diet again. im on the atkins diet and doing fairly well, im 6 days strong and i havent cheated. my carb cravings are going away. my b.fat went from 49.9 to 49.1 which doesnt sound like alot but its something. i have made up my mind to stick. im feeling very postive and motivated. i just started exercising again. well, im learning there are alot of negative ass people lurking and waiting for me to fall. im trying to take this negativty and turn it into to postive motivation for myself, so far so good.

today..okay..this is what made me fly off the handle. this girl, who use to be my associate made a nasty comment. i was speaking w/ a close friend about my long walkand jog in the park . well, i continued on about the awesome pool they had..well she busts out w/ did you wear a bikini...i was fuming. i looked at her and said no, why. she was like, i just had to ask. i was like aight, whatever. i was so pisted off. i mean, basically i DIDNT LIKE HER UNDERLYING HUMOR ON FAT PEOPLE. but the one thing i remind myself of is this, i rather be cute and fat then skinny and ugly, cause atleast i can work w/ people like you to keep me on the str8 and narrow..if your ugly your just ugly!! also..whats better xendrine and hydroycut??


thanks!

 

[amor9818]

lol. obviously you were not getting what i said. thank you very much. my atitude will not make me fail. and you and your negativity can basically go to hell. i dont have a bad atitude. but when people try to break you down, i dont really believe in allowing it to just marinate in your life. plain and simple. thanks for your ignorance.

 

[strongchick]

People are assholes.

Use their negativity by pointing it toward your positive goal. Every time somebody says something negative about your fat or your diet, just take that energy from the anger it generates and use that emotion toward a greater good: yourself.

Everytime I got the following crappy verbiage from colleagues or "friends" I would add a minute to my cardio session or go and buy more low glycemic carbs to eat:

NONSENSE statements I hear every day:

1. women shouldn't lift heavy
2. too much exercise is not good
3. that protein shake looks disgusting
4. people who obsess about their eating habits are vain
5. you're born that way and it won't change no matter what you do

and on and on.

I hear those above phrases every day, and I use them as my cue (kinda Pavlovian) to automatically remind me to continue doing the right thing.

Remember...people are not gonna want to see you improve....because it proves them wrong, wrong, wrong.

I love men and women ...I just don't love their negativity. (not saying that I can't be negative sometimes, of course). ...like when men get on my nerves at the gym....

 

[FitFossil]

Women can be very cruel, especially to other women. Your female associate sounds like she is seriously lacking in the maturity and self-esteem department. Like Strongchick said, use it to your advantage. Let it fuel your fire for reaching your goals. She obviously feels threatened by you and your progress to make such a snide comment.

Be prepared, other people will try in subtle (and not so subtle) ways to derail your efforts. They're either jealous of your determination or think maybe you won't like them anymore when you reach your goals. People will say you're selfish to want to improve your body. Just keep your eye on your goals. Remember, being happy on the inside will make you a better person for yourself and everyone else.

 

[Sassy69]

I agree, people can be so mean & insensitve. Generally I say, if you don't like it, don't f'n look at it. This goes for anyone you personally find unappealing -- maybe they smell funny (coulda been a recent off-gassing from a heavy protein diet, you know!), have an amazing way of pairing the most ungodly combination of colors to go out with you to that club you've been dying to meet a certain potential significant other at, or just plain old fell off the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down. Keep your comments to yourself.

As far as trying to do something positive to change yourself, people seem to like to comment on that. The usual comments I get are "You spend too much time in the gym" and "You eat weird stuff". Gee.... like the time you spend in front of the TV mindlessly flipping through your 499 channels of satellite TV is productive.... And why is it that no one thinks twice about someone who eats a Big Mac w/ extra fries twice a day?? You can run your damn car on the grease from that meal!

As StrongGirl said, if you know what your goals are, every time someone tries to undermine your confidence, take that frustration energy and refocus it into more determination to meet your goals. Screw them. If they don't contribute positively to your life, drop 'em.

But I do really hate it when people wave their chocolate cake in front of me while I chow on rice cakes & vegetable juice....LOL

 

[Temple]

CaptainAsshole errr I mean Awsome, choke - this board is a place for women to learn and support each other. You men are here as guests and should behave as such. Telling a gal she is disgusting just because her bfp is higher than what you find acceptable is NOT polite and I personally find your attitude as disgusting as you find her fat.

 

[new@gettinbig]

Captain if you cant post anything intelligent or worth reading do not post at all! This is not a board to tear down other members, we are supposed to support and keep each other going....You are doing nothing at all to help this board discussion. Keep negative opinions to yourself. Also do you have any pics you would like to post of your perfectly sculpted body??? Its usually those that have a problem that put others down....U seem to be lacking maturity and common sense, but that may just be your insecurity or is it your inability to coexist with other individuals???

 

[blueyedkowgrl]

listen captain"A", i was 43%bf last oct. i am now 24%yeah still a bit to go but how dare you shed your type of "insight" onto this lady. YOU are the type of person that could squash a persons motivation. And yes fat is fat but Ugly is forever. and some how i think you might have just fallen out of the ugly tree yourself. (and hit every branch on the way down)

am, don't listen to small minded people like capain "A" and the people like him. they are here just to make others feel bad because they have no real pride in themselves. you may have further to go than most folks but it can be done. I know for sure. keep on going baby!!!

 

[Temple]

I did not make the "men are here as guests" rule - that was done by our beloved sheriff Warlobo who is the main Mod on this board and also a man although a much more enlightened one than you. At some point in this discussion I am sure that you will hear the heavy tread of his footsteps and I would suggest that you apologize or run like hell as he has no sense of humor about men who behave badly on this board.

 

[fawnmarie]

amor9818

DON'T GIVE UP!!!!

Stay on Atkins you - will LOVE it.

4 years ago I went from 196 lb. size 20 to a 136 lb. size 4/6! You can do it!

And don't let freaks like captasshole put you off. Or your acquaintance at work.

Just know - you CAN do it!!!

I've found that it's a lot easier just not to tell anybody things like that. Word of advice - just keep it to yourself and let THEM notice.

I found buying new clothes kept me motivated. Buying a new outfit in a smaller size every month really kept me going. When I hit the size 4 rack, I almost plotzed!

You can do it, lady, and if you need support, there is the http://www.thinner.com discussion board, and the http://www.atkinsfriends.com discussion board, and you won't run into assholes on those boards, trust me.

Fawn

P.S. - Captain Asshole; we don't give a rat's ass if you like our attitude or not. Piss off!

 

[blueyedkowgrl]

TEMPLE, i think i hear the footsteps now..... spurs clanging, holster jingeling (and diaper pail full!!lol!!LOL) so look out little captain A, sheriffs a hellva shot!!!!!!!

 

[Natural One]

blueyedkowgrl, I agree. I think captainasshole has to be really ugly or fat or something. what a feak

 

[Little Girl]

hey girls! Don't use your time writting back to the captainasshole. OUR time is to precious for that!

LG
PS: Keep going and don't pay attention to people comments. (I know it's hard!) That what I call the drown people technic: When someone is drowning and you are trying to help, the drown person is just trying to bring you down to keep her head outside the water!

 

[MS]

Hehehehehe. I have always wondered what kind of person tries to tear another person down while hiding behind the anonymity of the internet. I know there's a lot of them out there. Just visit the anabolic discussion board if ya wanna see what assholes men can be on a routine and unprovoked basis. It IS a shame that it occassionally spills over onto this board. I guess it gets sooo crowded with roidbag assholes over there that they have to come over here to get attention.

 

[MS]

Awe shucks sheriff lobo, you've just ruined all the fun

 

[LiftHardOrDontLiftAtAll]

Keep up the good work

Hello Ladies of Elite. Just wanted to say keep up the good work. You all are working very hard to reach your goals and that is great. As far as all of the criticsm and ridcule you might get, well people can be assholes. But you know that what you are doing is living a healthy lifesyle while all of the other average people out there live off of Pizza and beer. But I think we should all serve as an example to these people and hope that we can influence them to change. As for Captainasshole, don't even bother with those idiots. They have nothing useful to say and just have to voice their ignorant point of view. They are the type of people if you give them a penny for their thoughts you'd get back change. F**k em all and keep training hard.

 

[absolute hardgainer]

I kinda object to the topic of this thread, amor. Even though you retracted it in the post, it's not a very nice thing to say about anyone. And certainly not nice to blame women in general, or even most of them just because one wasn't very nice to you.

Men say a lot of very nasty things about women and women's appearances, too. More so than women do about men, might I add. The point is that if somebody has nothing nice to say about you - well then try as best to ignore them, but don't blame everybody of their gender for it.

Captain Awesome: With your attitude you deserved to get bashed.

hardgainer (trying to be a nice human being (except to complete asshole who don't deserve it))

 

[blueyedkowgrl]

lobo you six shooters will never get rusty.. okay maybe soon the'll have a little spit up on 'em but they still work just fine!!!!!

 

[cownslr]

AMOR:

Whatever you do hang in there. If you encounter more negativity, and you will, just make a mental note and move on.

Unfortunately society is filled with individuals with certain opinions, and unfortunately not all are in our best interest.

However, I find that when I encounter a negative individual I sense that they are crying out for something and in return I kill them with kindness or at least just try to understand maybe even empathize with what may be going on in their life.

We cannot judge others simply based on what they say. There could be some underlying issues and sometimes it is just better to be lovable no matter how cruel people are.

I realize every one has their idea of what people should look like. Fortunately, I've been on both sides of the fence many times now.

At one time I was extrememly thin and was considered to be the in crowd, then I gained weight and was part of the out crowd, then thin , then fat and I realized that it takes a better person to interact with everyone. And believe it or not, there is some peace in that.

I realize I am rambling, but this is something I feel very strogly about.

I applaud you on your efforts and your ability to share your frustrations with us. It's healthy. And if you have a few more of these encounters or any other triffling events along the way, don't lose sight of your goal. It's ok to have a few bumps along the way. You'll appreciate how far you've come in the end.

Good luck, and keep us posted on your progess. It's all up from here!!!!

 

[strongchick]

At one time I was extrememly thin and was considered to be the in crowd, then I gained weight and was part of the out crowd, then thin , then fat and I realized that it takes a better person to interact with everyone. And believe it or not, there is some peace in that.

I tend to over-analyze these things, but, in light of my recent 'gym peeve' rant and my 'thank heaven I found bb'ing ('why muscle') thread....I've been thinking...

...in a society so obsessed with what we look like, wouldn't it be nice to find a place within it that accepts us because we are better people? Since I've lost weight and added muscle, I've gotten a $12,000 raise at work, re-connected with an ex-lover, and improved my relations with others dramatically--new friends, etc.

I know I can't prove that these improvements in my life are BECAUSE of my new physique...more likely they are the result of my new confidence...but I can't help but have mixed feelings about the result...that looking better = better life. I believe I am the same person....my personality didn't dramatically change...just my looks...

...seeing AMOR's pain/frustration reminds me of the negativity I experienced as a former skinny person that became overweight for 5 years straight...

...so to address the finding of 'peace'....I won't ever really believe in others to the point where I will allow myself to rely on their ability to see my personality before my looks...I will forever believe that no matter how wonderful or intelligent people are....as humans, looks first, then personality count.

My peace is in the fact that I have found bodybuilding as a way to 'control' my looks and therefore make people give me the time of day when I need it....

...or am I on the path to chronic depression

(or is my YCA stack effecting my brain chemistry?)

 

[cownslr]

Afternoon StrongChick

Congratulations on your metamorphisis.

I really think that you are onto something when you speak of your self confidence and the leading of a better life.

It's just such a shame that it takes so many of us transistioning from one thing to another in order to determine our self worth. Personally I will not allow myself to pull my identity away from what others think now. There is only one power I need to answer to and that in itself is where I truly find peace.

All too often I see sooooooo many people around me forming opinions of themselves based on how much money they make, where they reside, what they drive, how they look, who they associate with, well I could go on. These are all things that are surface and not substance.

I truly believe that if you are able to look at yourself in the mirror each day, or better yet, look into (your) childs eyes, or any child for that matter and feel as though you've given something back to the world then that is what it is all about. And I would much rather pull my identity from that than any possesion on this earth and that includes my body.

I guess I am just trying to share with all of you how happy I am to have realized this at such an early stage in my life and I truly believe that once you've experienced this kind of peace and tranquility, there isn't a whole lot that can shake you.

Don't get me wrong, I love what BBing does for the mind body and soul, but faith and loving others is where its at.

So for anyone who is struggling, w/fat loss, trying to gain mass, find the perfect routine, diet, etc... take five minutes to look at the course of your life and see if you can name at least three things you've been blessed with and then some true perspective should come into play.

Maybe one of those three things is the fact that BBing was brought to your attention. I'm extremely grateful for it. There is just too much about it that makes sense as well as making you feel good.

Anyway, I just hope no more negativity drips into this thread. We are all great people and all have a great purpose.

Like getting ripped, RIGHT...so go get m ladies!!!!

 

[blueyedkowgrl]

can't you hear sheriff lobo blowing the smoke off his six shooter son? you've been shot. pack it up and head on home with you tail between your legs... and let that be a lesson to ya, never mess with elites finest women.

seriously though, your comments were not helpful, they were destructive and cruel. if you can't tell the diffrence between constructive critisism and plain cruelty, don't post it at all.

 

[cownslr]

Captain Awesome:

We appreciate your quentisential insight.

However, there seems to be some underlying hostility in your advice.

Care to discuss?

I think everyone deserves to be heard.

Your method is different, but hey, that makes us unique.

 

[strongchick]

that method i was using has worked very well for me in the past. i used to always make fun of my little brother cause he was a little chunky monkey. now he is in excellent physical condition. a person who is out of shape should be putting themself down not trying to make themselves feel like its ok to be how they are.

I'm not sure that this youthful male 'technique' is appropriate for a woman trying to lose weight. I hate to inject the gender issue here, but it seems that some men/boys improve with ridicule, while as a GENERAL rule, women do not.

In addition...is it really healthy to use ridicule vs. constructive criticism? Somehow, I believe any reputable psychologist would say constructive criticism is more appropriate.

I can't believe you are over 18, given your attitude. Experience would teach you better. I wouldn't respond to this nonsense or waste my time if I thought you were beyond your teenage years, because any adult with this kind of philosophy would have difficulty in the real world almost immediately.

If you really want to be a useful influence, read some books on how to lead and how to get along with others.
Obviously, your friends and family are not teaching you much about interpersonal communication or leadership.

 

[strongchick]

what books that you have read would you recommend?

Art of War -- War strategy that helps you think about what you say before you say it...more valuable as a life metaphor than a literal war discussion.

Leadership is an Art -- thoughtful prose about philosophy of leadership

How to win friends and Influence People -- practical day to day skills for how to handle people and subtly push them in the direction that benefits you most...

I have all of these books, but I don't always follow their advice..it is difficult to lead properly all the time...I think a whole person and whole life philosophy is a combination of personal experiences, reading, and common sense. If you read enough about something, you eventually do the things that will make you successful in the endeavor you are reading about out of habit. There may be better books, but these are the ones on my shelf that I have read.

I'm glad you asked, and it shows a keen interest in being better. I applaud you for that. Some of the most difficult lessons I have learned have been after swift, harsh criticism by my colleagues...but then actually listening to what they had to say after I licked my wounds.

 

[Wombat]

Captain Awesome---Your the type of guy that would beat the shit out of his wife and say your doing it to straighten her out----Your little bother did not get into shape because of you---To think you have such control over someone is egotistical and selfish. The kill them with kindness is ok but it can waste alot of energy that you can use to better yourself. Any psychiatrist will tell you that in order to manage a problem or habit, you must see the negitive for what it is worth and eliminate as much of it as possible----If someone is trying to bring you down, first recognize it and then stop it in its tracks right then and there. Then avoid it at all costs. When doing this you can become a master of seeing negative energy before it even gets to you. And when you can see it, it becomes easier to avoid which will leave more positive energy for yourself and then anything is possible.

 

[Texas Guns]

I've got a good book for you to read Captain.......
THE BIBLE!!!!!!

You must be a very abused fella if you do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

I guess it is all fair turnabout!!

 

[blondey]

If it makes you feel any better I get the same thing from women except that I'm 10% BF! Have never looked better or been healthier yet some woman unforntunatly have a major insecurity issue!
I really don't think it matters whether you are overweight or thin - there will always be some women who aren't happy with their bodies who will try and bring you down to make themselves feel better.
Congradulations to you on your training, there is nothing worse than someone compaling about their weight and not doing anything about it except complaing - whether they are skinny or overweight.
Try being out at a restaurant and hearing other woman say "I bet she's bulimic, she'll probably throw that up afterwards!" - hell I love my food why would I want to waste it! All i can do is laugh, because I know how much hard work we all put into our training. And that under my clothes - well hey the boyfriend doesn't complain.
For some reason God gave us some woman who are naturally bitches - so that the rest of us could use there negativity to grow and become stronger.

 

[FitFossil]

I agree with Blondey. No matter what you look like, there will always be insecure people around who try to hurt your feelings. These people are jealous and petty and trying to bring you down to their level. Even though it still hurts, people like this are not worth worrying about. Whatever you do, don't let them sabotage your goals. And be prepared, more people, in fact, seem to take liberty saying ill-mannered things to thin people.

Saying things like "I hate you - you're so skinny" (they act like it's a compliment, but it's still annoying), making comments when you're eating, asking what you eat, if you have an eating disorder, etc. They'll ask about your workouts, but not be genuinely interested, they just want to add in their comments that working out is selfish, or some other such nonsense.

 

[cseg7]

I'm not going to lie to you, losing weight is going to be the hardest thing that you will ever have to do in your life time. It doesn't stop either, it will continue throughout the rest of your life. We are lucky people though, we learn to feel compasion for others and are able to see an entirely different view of things.
When someone says something to you turn around and thank them, because isn't it all of those people who drive us to make the most important change of our lives? Without them we might not ever be able to change.
I just want to take the time to thank every individual who laughed at me, and called me names, and said a few kind words to me and added the "but" at the end. I took all of your negative energy and turned it into something positive, something that I can be proud of. I have never been so happy in all of my life, I'm living the dream, it's my reality.
So the next time that your friend or coworker or whoever have something to say, you can smile and say thank you, because you know that your on your way the best days of your life. As for them, they'll get exactly what they deserve.

 

[cownslr]

TEXAS GUNS

Thank you......

Sounds like Captain isn't the only one who needs to be reading the BIBLE.


Bottom line, determining where you truly find your identity is 100% of your solution and the question to your own.

 

[erikaalex]

Keep it up... opinions everyone has one, but I've learned from experience that "what people think is non of my business" every one has the right to think whatever they want as long as I know I am doing the right thing for ME!!! I will be Okay. Remember progress rather than perfection. Ignore negativity and keep your possitive attitude. What ever you do don't ever give up.
We can do whatever we set our minds to do

 

[flex4life]

Some people feel the need to ridicule others to ease their conscience because they are not interested in health or improving themselves- it's an easy way out for them.
I'm at work one day- bring my lunch everyday- 2 girls walk in & say "What are you eating?!?!" (I'm having a plain chic breast & cucumber slices) One of them has a Klondike bar & the other a bacon cheeseburger.
I said, "What are YOU eating?!"
and they accuse me of eating 'weird food'. (?) At least I can pronounce the ingredients.
Make negative comments your motivation to succeed.