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Whats the stupidest thing you have seen at your gym

6

648

New member
I saw a guy tonight huffing and puffing getting mentaly ready for a set. I mean this guy was slapping his biceps and all that. Anyways he approaches the rack of weights and straps in to a 35lbs pair of dumb bells and then does a set of 10 curls. the funniest thing is that he grunted so loud the whole time that the whole gym was watching. I mean why are you going to use wrist straps on curls?

Any other stupid stories
 
this girl that looks like a horse is the stupidest thing i ever saw in my gym..also this gym that super sets bench press with jumping jacks...same with squats...sometimes he super sets squats with pushups then starts doing jumping jacks then squats again...
 
ultragainz said:
this girl that looks like a horse is the stupidest thing i ever saw in my gym..also this gym that super sets bench press with jumping jacks...same with squats...sometimes he super sets squats with pushups then starts doing jumping jacks then squats again...
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Hey, Ultra I remember that post of yours! What did you use to call that guy again...
 
Guys using the power rack for curls instead of squatting, which pisses me off when there's only one in the entire gym.
 
MR.USA....he wears a little underwear during the summer time with the US flag on it and a little tank top...and he is about 6 feet 3 and about 130-140...and he told me a month ago that be can do some shows...and maybe even win a couple of them..
 
hey ultra,I remember you talking about that guy,didnt you call him mr.america or something like that.Anyways I saw this guy at my gym last year,when he was done working out he took his shirt off and started walking around the gym talking to everyone like he was huge.The funny thing was,he was just a fatass that thought he was big,LOL
 
Do you guys have any "strecthers" in your gym? We have this one guy that will do bench press or curls or something that has nothing to do with legs and once he is done he goes in to some serios splits hahaha
 
The alltime classic is this guy who does holds on every exercise. This guy is tiny-probably 6'1, 140 lbs. Anyways, he comes in and puts 1200 lbs. on the leg press and holds the weight. He keeps his knees locked and sits there for about 10 seconds, then puts the restraint back on the rack to keep the weight from falling on him. When I thought this was the alltime classic, I then got to see him bench-he put way too much weight on for him, got a liftoff from someone, and held it there for about 5 seconds. The best part about all this shit is he does one hold per exercise and a total of maybe 8 exercises when he's in there. The guy will be in there for upwards of an hour and a half to do 8 exercises because he walking around getting all jacked up for his holds. Funny shit!
 
B182 said:
Guys using the power rack for curls instead of squatting, which pisses me off when there's only one in the entire gym.
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I'm with you on this one! Yesterday there was a pair of em over at the squat rack curling with the straight bar and #5 on either side.

I dont care how much you lift but come on, curling 55 pounds at the squat rack, like its gonna even make some noise if you drop it.


##spiderbaby##
 
I knew a guy that did holds. There's this one old timer that loves his nipple t's and his headband, wears them everytime. I once saw him sitting sideways on a flat bench, doing forced-concentration curls with an 85lb dumbell! He did sets of 6 forced reps, than once finished, he'd get some molmentum going like how you would throw a discus, then he'd swing the dumbell up over his head with the assistance of his other hand, than preceed to hold it there with one arm for a count of 30. And yes, he did count out loud...:confused:
 
There are these fuckin gimps that are in my gym off and on. I guess they are in one of the armed services or something....

Anyway, there are 3 of them. They make noise no matter what excercise they are doing....one guy was crucnhes with no weight and groaning on every rep.

The real funny story is when they squat. One of them throws a 35 on each side....moans of course on each rep...does ten reps then takes a step back. He will then jump up and down while the other two guys slap his ass every time he lands. He will do 10 "reps" of those then lie down on the floor during his break.

Fuckin irritating as shit.
 
I have to a agree about people that don't do legs. there is a kat at my gym that has a fucking huge upper body but legs smaller then his arms it is so funny.
 
Funny

We've got this kid in my gym we call MAD DOG. He's about 110lbs at 30% BF. He's always posing in the mirrors and saying he's got the best body in the gym and that the women can't keep thier eyes off of him.

Every week this kid finds new and creative ways to fall off of the rack that we use to do hyper extensions on. The first time he was eyeing this chick and tryed to spin up onto the rack, in that cool James Dean fashion and spun right off the other side. Not two minutes later he did the same thing again. Next time ther's no counter weight and when he starts down the whole rack falss right on top of him. he then proceeds to 6 45's onto the rack. This has gone on for months Every week he falls off the rack.

last week he was adjusting the pegs you put your ankles under to hold you up.(God only knows why) We watched him try to put the pin back in and when he couldn't figure it out he just put it in his pocket. The he jumps up on the rack leans forward really fast, the support flys off he hits the floor and the support nails him in the back of the head.

Knocked his ass out cold for about 2 minutes.

Purdog
 
There is this guy at my gym that we call range of motion. He walks into the gym with a flannel shirt sleeves cut off, tight blue jeans, and black steel tip army boots. He wears a really bad hair piece and his wife looks like she drank about 20 speed stacks. Anyways he puts thje maximum amount of weight on every machine and does half reps. Grunting at the top of his lungs, he does about 10 machines in 8 minutes does one set of abs, one set of leg presses, 3minutes on the bike and goes home,having not even worked a muscle. He comes in everyday with the same thing on and does the same routine 4 days a week. Shit my gym has a whole bunch of funny mother fuckers. Maybe one day I will write about them I am sure it will be a good laugh.
 
the one about the guy who falls off the rack is hard to top but i saw this shit the other day and i laughed my ass off:

a group of 3 black kids straight out of the ghetto and a girl of equal merit (not racist comment just straight fact) walk into the gym and directly to the bench. the skinniest of all of them, prolly 6'0 140 without warming up or stretching throws 225 onto the bench lifts it off with no spotter while the other kids are being loud and obnoxious and not paying attention. clearly this was an attempt to impress the 'hot' girl who accompanied them, as she indeed 'had back'. anyway, he lifts it off and it goes straight down to his chest and smashes him, as hes trying to gasp for air, he turns to his right, letting the plates on that side come crashing to the ground as the other side flips over him and barely misses the guy on the bench next to him on about his ninth rep at 315.
 
LMAO @ these stories.

There is a Lat Pull Over machine in the gym. You sit in it and you step on a plate to move the "Pull Over" part to where you can put your arms in. Well the stupid ass trainers at the gym are teaching people to use this as a leg press. They don't even pay attention to the thing that goes back and forth over their head. Dumbasses.
 
I dont know about retards in the gym, but lately there has been this one hot ass girl that keeps distracting me in the gym. In my gym the hammer strengths are right next to the stretching area and it seems like everytime I am over there she has to come over there and start stretching. She doesn't just do normal stretches either,for instance she will turn her back to me, bend over grab her ankles and start moving back and forth in a "fuck me" like motion and then turn around and give me a big smile. Everytime she does it I pop wood and have to quickly move so she doesnt see it. Makes for an interesting work out but really distracts the fuck out of me. I know this doesn't really fit in ths thread but thats the only out of the ordinary gym story I have.
 
hi ha ha guys hahahaha

This thread is the funniest ever i can't belive but i think this goes around the world, sick fucks in the gym dddddddddddddaaaaaammmmmnnnnnnnn, ´just have to pick my self off the floor .... muuuuaaaaaahahahahaha i can't stop but it' so shit funny. dam i thougt i had seen the most but they are included in this fine collection og dumb asses in the gym....

Please keep em coming i want more *GGGGGGG* LOL ROFL

Griner min røv i laser hahaha

SES Drenge /Great dane
 
i've seen alot of funny shit at my gym but the funniest had to be 3 things. 1 was this guy on the floor doing the swimming motions like he was practicing how to swim on land. the other was this fat ass lady who obviously didnt know karate but would get on the aerobics floor and do flying kicks. so fucking funny u had to have been there. last was this old lady who would get on the aerobics floor. spread her legs wide, grab onto her ankles and do this rocking motion. so fucking funny. hehe i love my job and seeing these assholes. me and the staff at work all have different nicknames for these clowns
 
We had a guy in our gym for a while that would wear a pink cut sleeve T-shirt, with a wrestling singlet over the top of it. And of course a 1950's leather weight belt for the entire time he was in the gym. He was about 45 and always was bugging people about how big he used to be and how it would only take him 3 months to get back to his old shape. He loved to this right in the middle of someones lift. He was about 5'10" and 230lbs with 30%BF. One day he was bitching about the other school gym and how there were a bunch of frat kids over there who couldn't even lift 225. At this time my small ass had just gotten to 225 and it pissed me off. Well I was tired of listening to him so I called him on it and asked if he could even do that much. So he went over to the bench and made a big scene pumping himself up, only to drop the weight on his chest. I decided to wait about 10 seconds before I pulled it off of him. From then on he didn't say much and shortly after stopped comming to the gym. I still hate that Fucker.
JA
 
Makes for an interesting work out but really distracts the fuck out of me.
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Hey. I can understand you. Things like that happen all the time at my gym exept they don't strech in front of me tough. You're a lucky guy!
 
OH WAIT I just remembered a classic.

These 2 guys always train together. They both thought they were some kind of chick magnet hammers when in reality they couldnt get laid in a whore house. Anyway, they come dressed in kinda spandex bicycle shorts and BIG loop muscle shirts where you see everything. They are both about 6 foot tall and weigh about 170. Well one day one of the guys was trying to MACK on this girl at the gym. He is acting all nonchalant while he's talking to her and lays down on the flat bench to do some bench press. His partner/spotter slaps a 45 and 25 on each side. The guy on the bench is struggling at rep 5 when his spotter who is standing over him rips a juicy fart. The guy on the bench now has the full weight of the bar on his chest and can't get it off. His partner is laughing so hard, he can't get it off. Finally he pushes the bar off to the side where it comes crashing to the floor and he falls off the bench. He gets to his knees and starts vomiting. It was fuckin awesome.
 
go JA_RULE

you be livin it up

I love to call kats out like that. like one time this guy was doing incline DB bench with like 60lbs and woudl jsut drop them from the top of his lift. he was like they are so heavy you could not put them down soft. so I jsut grabed the 120's and hit like 4 reps and put them down like a baby
 
me and the staff at work all have different nicknames for these clowns
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It seems like we are a familly. We are doing the same thing at my gym. We don't laugh about people who are visibly retarded or new to the gym but we have nicknames for those who think they are "too hot" and don't answer to anyone.
 
I feel better now I thought I jsut went to the dumbest gym in the world I guess it is everywhere. one of my favorites is this group of about 5 guys all mixed but none buff. they come into the gym say hi to everyone and talk to everyone and leave I have never seen them workout. I thing they thought it was the club since it is on the same street as a lot of clubs
 
Ok guys, I have a good one. Not really funny, but this pisses me off. There's a guy at my gym who's about 6' 165 or so, so he's kinda skinny. Well he always talks on his damn cell phone when he's lifting!! It's so annoying. Also, he can't talk soft. He has to scream like he's talking to someone while at a basketball game or something. Damn nerds. He thinks he's a badass too
 
Man if you know how to do exercises correctly, you can see a lot of funny shit. I dont know where people get these exercises! A lot of the guys in my gym must be reading Womens Fitness or something. I have came up with name to several of their dumbass moves, and it breaks the monoteny of the workout to say to my partner,"Look that dumbass is doing Wonka Curls again."
 
I love the guys that do bench and milatary only a 1/4 of the way down. I call it the "club workout" becuase they look like they are in a club givin it up
 
this cop goes to my old gym and he thinks he the shit, so he starts doin his version of bent over rows , standing on a bench on the smith machine. shit he got it loaded up, pobably 90+ lbs on it:D but his version is different. Instead of rowing the weight into his abdomen, he quicky jerks it up and thrusts his hips into the bar. It moves about an inch and it looks like hes tryin to fuck it.
 
Last winter me and my brother went to a gym where some highschool kids were trying to be tough, they started to pester me and my brother about lifting and their coach 'told them thi and that' and that superslow techniques we were doing doesn't accomplish anything. we started to laugh and one of them got really pissed and said that they could do it no problem so we let him do superslow lat pulldowns he got out 4 reps till he started whimpering like a little bitch, but when he got up he was so dizzy, he stumbled into the tricept pushdown bar someone was using, and got knocked out cold when the bar hit him in the skull.needless to day me and my bro almost died laughing....
 
i lift at the ymca so we get a good mixed crowd of weight lifters, old people, and just plain retarded people.

I really hate when the old people get on the lat pull down and pull the bar down and touch it on there knees.

One day we had 2 young kids chasing each other all over the place and yelling in the weight room so after the 25th time they ran in front of me when i was benching i bumped the dumbell over a foot and the kid in front hit it like a freight train and plowed into the hammer strength bench and got all banged up.

The worst thing i can think of is when this 6'5 300lb giant comes in the gym and does abs. Every time he does a sit up he farts loud as fuck. I really cant say to much bad about that cause i leave tuna farts on almost every set.
 
The Almighty said:
He will then jump up and down while the other two guys slap his ass every time he lands. He will do 10 "reps" of those then lie down on the floor during his break.

Fuckin irritating as shit. [/QUOTE

Holly shit thats funny:FRlol: :spit:
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A couple of months ago, I had the leg press loaded with 26 plates. I had just finished my third set and got up to walk it off. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a pretty, out of shape blonde girl walk up to the machine, sit down and start to release the rack. A PT who was working with a client who was close by "RAN" up to her and screamed, "What are you, an IDIOT? That's over 1200 lbs your gonna unlock." She burst out into tears as I literally crawled back to the machine, so I could apologize (for not realizing she was an idiot, I guess...) We were both in tears, although mine was from laughter.

She still won't talk to me.
 
-This sick old fat lady, who has cream cheese legs and wears black socks just under the knees, and short shorts... fucking disgusting! She does cardio ED, and is still fat as fuck! Please cover up bitch.

-Obvious heavy, heavy juicer who is huge, but fat as hell. Wears a tight, tight wife beater to show off massive gut, deep purple stretch marks, and cystic acne. Spends 3 hours in the gym sociallizing and doing half reps.

-Guys who feel the need to curl in the squat racks, or even worse on the platforms which are for Olympic lifts and Deads.

-A skinny guy who loads up 5 plates a side on the squat rack, huffs, puffs, throws a fit.. then does 1/16th reps for amazing tripples and slams the bar when re-racking. The funniest thing is he almost bails everytime from unloading the weight.

-Guys in general who act tough because they can move heavier weights in shitty, shitty, half-assed form. I always think to myself "toughguy, you haven't even done a rep yet" or "I'd like to see you without your spotter doing 80% of the work"
 
When I used to work out at the campus gym during drad-school ,there was this thing who would come in and, well, make me work harder at not killing him than anyone I have ever met. Without fail, he would walk in, go over to the bench, put 225 on the bar and do 3/4 reps...5, 6, 7 sets...I don't know. Between each set he would almost yell about how tired he is and how he thinks that the school was out to get him, and that people are a bunch of racists.

The first time you see it, it is almost comical...after a month it is unbearable, and after that it is purely torture.

So...I tell him one time, "Keep your mouth shut, fuck-for-brains", and walk away. Guy blows up...not at me mind you, but at the "establishment".

I graduated soon thereafter, and he was eventually kicked out of school for some kind of misconduct.

Anyhow, I moved out of that state for a year and recently moved back to take a new job. So, I join up at a local Powerhouse. Lo and behold, guess who's there??? Damn straight.

Now, when I see him, I (and everyone else) still gets to hear how tired he is, but now he complains about he has Anthrax and STDs and proceeds to cough loudly in a frail attempt to gain attention.

If you don't happen to hear from me on the board for a while, it may just be because I murdered this little fuck and have thrown in the houskow.

--MOE
 
i love the guy in my gym that comes to the gym dressed as if he was going to a club.dress pants, tight shirt hair done,cologne.all he does is go to the machines where girls are and try to flirt with them.of course it never works because behind his back they all make fun of him.but its the same shit everyday.
 
i just remembered one more. when i was a senior i used to lift with the football players. the coach's name was Chet Bonner. With a name like that you can imagine how terrible he is. Well he about 5'10 175lbs with a beer belly. He used to put 135lb on bench and do 8 reps then jump and scream in the face of all the 125lb 9th graders. it was funny shit.
 
There's this guy at my gym who comes in and has these enormous coke bottle glasses and big pot belly. He walks around sniffing a pencil and punching stuff. When he's ready to do his set he looks in the mirror and tells himself " You're better off dead, " and things of the sort. He's just weird.....
 
HorseBalls said:

people who dont train legs.
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Yes! There are so many people at my gym (Goodlife in Windsor) that have decent upper bodies but tooth picks for legs. What a frickin joke. "I'm 5'10", weigh 210# and have 20" quads and 20" bis, but I'm the shit" You're a TOOL buddy! God that bothers me.

WRJ
 
Buff_Lover said:
A couple of months ago, I had the leg press loaded with 26 plates. I had just finished my third set and got up to walk it off. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a pretty, out of shape blonde girl walk up to the machine, sit down and start to release the rack. A PT who was working with a client who was close by "RAN" up to her and screamed, "What are you, an IDIOT? That's over 1200 lbs your gonna unlock." She burst out into tears as I literally crawled back to the machine, so I could apologize (for not realizing she was an idiot, I guess...) We were both in tears, although mine was from laughter.

She still won't talk to me.
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That's some funny shit!

WRJ
 
Bobber said:
I dont know about retards in the gym, but lately there has been this one hot ass girl that keeps distracting me in the gym. In my gym the hammer strengths are right next to the stretching area and it seems like everytime I am over there she has to come over there and start stretching. She doesn't just do normal stretches either,for instance she will turn her back to me, bend over grab her ankles and start moving back and forth in a "fuck me" like motion and then turn around and give me a big smile. Everytime she does it I pop wood and have to quickly move so she doesnt see it. Makes for an interesting work out but really distracts the fuck out of me. I know this doesn't really fit in ths thread but thats the only out of the ordinary gym story I have.
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LMAO bro. Say something to her will ya!

WRJ
 
.....same gym as last time, different story. This other clown stumbles out of the rain and into the gym to do some hacksquats. Hes clearly retarded because he begins his set with a plate a side, but has neglected to notice that hes standing on a painted checkerplate platform with wet shoes. He did one rep before his feet flew out from under him and he landed flat on his ass. Club goes silent. someone laughs loudly at him.
 
Ignorant people that don't know shit about the science of bodybuilding. PERIOD!

Oh yeah.....and people that don't train legs!!!!!!!!!!
 
i hate to admit it but I took a plate off with a 25 in front of it. I happen to forget aboutthe 25 and sure enough it fell on my foot....felt like such an A-Hole

Sad thing is all I could think about was if I would be able to train legs the next day
 
LMFAO!!!!

His partner/spotter slaps a 45 and 25 on each side. The guy on the bench is struggling at rep 5 when his spotter who is standing over him rips a juicy fart. The guy on the bench now has the full weight of the bar on his chest and can't get it off. His partner is laughing so hard, he can't get it off. Finally he pushes the bar off to the side where it comes crashing to the floor and he falls off the bench. He gets to his knees and starts vomiting. It was fuckin awesome.
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I damn near got fired at work for reading this and laughing so hard in my office. :FRlol: :FRlol: :FRlol: :eek2: :lmao:
 
How bout the chumps that go to the gym lookin like they just came from glamour shots, spend all their time watching to see if anybody noticed their matching adidias outfit or the slick fifty gel-ass hairdo------ lift or leave jackass:moon:
 
This dickhead who was at the gym once who spent 20minutes stretching his legs, only to spend the entire worout doing piss weak tricep extensions. Looked like Woody Harrelson from White Men Can't Jump
 
GYM BLOOPERS

I AM LAUGHING MY FUCKING ASS OFF GUYS,TEARS ARE LITERALLY POURING DOWN MY FACE ,
WELL HERES MINE ABOUT A MONTH AGO THIS LADY WALKS UP TO A TREADMILL PUTS HER TOWEL AND WATERBOTTLE IN THE APROPIATE SLOTS THEN STARTS PUNCHING AWAY AT THE BUTTONS 5 SECONDSS LATER SHE IS GONE WOOOOOF SHE SHOOTS OFF LIKE A ROCKET BUT HERE IS THE FUNNY THING SHE MIRACLY CATCHES HERSELF ON TWO FEET GATHERS HER STUFF THEN WALKS OFF AS NOTHING EVER HAPPEND....
SHE PRESET THE MACHINE TO 12 MPH I STILL CRACK THE FUCK UP THINKING ABOUT IT
 
Ive got another, this time at my school gym. There is a chinning bar mounted to the wall about 7 1/2 feet off the ground. This short ass kid, prob 5ft 5 scrambles up the wall an hangs upside down by folding his legs around the bar. Then his does his version of inverted situps. Like its a benificial movement and thats the best place to do them.

same place but another time...there was two kids attempting squats for their first time. One was squatting with a plate a side and the other was spotting, except he was spotting from a chair in the corner and not paying attention. The dude puls off a couple half ass reps and on his next one gets about 3/4 the way up and cant go anymore. hes straining and stuck in that position for a good 5 secs before he slowly starts tipping backwards, pivoting on his heels. Total slow motion tipping until he was at about 45 degrees and then me an another dude ran over and caught him.
I still dont think his spotter noticed.
 
rich197 said:
I have to a agree about people that don't do legs. there is a kat at my gym that has a fucking huge upper body but legs smaller then his arms it is so funny.
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I hate that. Tell them they should walk on their hands!
 
bob1111 said:
Some chick shit herself in my gym. bump
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HAHAHHAHAHAHA! I am a PT and have been for 10 years. I still have not even had one of my female clients fart much less shit!:D I would have lost it!
 
Do you guys have the type of guy in your gym that is fat as fuck and benches 405 and walks around like he is God. We have plenty at our gym if you guys need some at yours.

648
 
Funny

OK I'm done laughing to tell you about this guy that comes into my gym. He is about 50, 6'1" and hunched over a bit. He comes in wearing spandex and a sweatshirt as old as him, and to top it off uses those gloves you find in the hardware store with the knobs all over to improve grip (I think used for hauling drywall) but he wears them 5 sizes to big. Well he is known for making lots of noise. so he mounts up on this contraption for hamstring extensions. instead of doing one leg at a time he is resting on his chest both legs in the sturips and off he goes looking like a flailing fish sqeeling out loud like he was on deliverance or something. I had to go after that, game over.......

;) :insane: :moon:
 
I've got a million of these - how to pick just two...

- The personal trainer leading three 350-lb. heifer ladies in crunches arched over a Swiss ball.... raw deal for the Swiss ball....

- There is a guy who I only see about once a month. Outwardly handsome but far from normal. He's always wearing these dark smoked shades in the gym and has a blond perm - looks like "Clay Collins" from the old SCTV sendup "Days of the Week" - I think half the time he works out in street clothes too but I could be wrong - this guy is anywhere from 23-40 yrs old - very hard to tell - WHAT'S UP WITH THE SHADES!! not to mention that hair...

I think it's funny how everyone comes up with names for the weird people in their gym... my wife and her friends in aerobics classes have a name for this older lady - looks kind of good from a distance but tons of plastic surgery, collagen, etc. - always checking everyone else out with this melodramatic look on her face - anyway they call her "The Contessa"

And what is with the guys & gals who partner up to do abs on the floor, you know where they fight their partner's resistance on lying leg lifts... I'm sure it's an effective exercise but these people are not generally in good enough shape for it to matter at all vs. regular ab training... when it's two girls I feel like telling them to get a room! because it's getting me hot...
 
Enigmaxxx7 said:
OH WAIT I just remembered a classic.

These 2 guys always train together. They both thought they were some kind of chick magnet hammers when in reality they couldnt get laid in a whore house. Anyway, they come dressed in kinda spandex bicycle shorts and BIG loop muscle shirts where you see everything. They are both about 6 foot tall and weigh about 170. Well one day one of the guys was trying to MACK on this girl at the gym. He is acting all nonchalant while he's talking to her and lays down on the flat bench to do some bench press. His partner/spotter slaps a 45 and 25 on each side. The guy on the bench is struggling at rep 5 when his spotter who is standing over him rips a juicy fart. The guy on the bench now has the full weight of the bar on his chest and can't get it off. His partner is laughing so hard, he can't get it off. Finally he pushes the bar off to the side where it comes crashing to the floor and he falls off the bench. He gets to his knees and starts vomiting. It was fuckin awesome.
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LMFAO BWHWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAHAHAHHA
 
Re

We have a few guys at our gym that have wore the same fucking clothes every time they come in. They must have one set of workout clothes. Bunch of us just laugh when they come in.
 
Everyone has them, and yes, no gym would be the same without them either. We stand back between sets watching the crazy shit they come up with, the poor form, and the shit woofing of how they were HUGE back in the day....of course this is all before you had weights, they just lifted rocks and dinosaurs and shit....well on to the topic at hand.

There is this one fuck who comes in when the crowd is rocking, and I found out he is a doctor....(scary as Hell). Soon as he walks in the door,he just stands there watching for 20 minutes or so, never moves. Then he drops his gym bag, takes off his pants, and out comes the Spandex. Now, before everyone goes nuts, I love spandex on chicks that have a great body, for those who don't, wear a damn shower curtain or something.

This idiot then takes off his shirt, down to that Chia-pet looking chest. Needless to say, because of the hair, we call him " The Troll ".....Shoes and socks are next, barefoot, and legs that look like hockey sticks with hair. Everything is now scattered just inside the door....pants, shirt, smelly socks and shoes....now we all get to see a 80 pound overweight Pro at work....

Same routine, day after day, never changes, never alters at all....

Dumbbell curls with 5lb. weights, 100 plus reps as fast as you can, now start grunting and screaming at rep 50....I'm sure you can get a visual now....and mind you, don't try and grab those 5lb. weights, they will be with him the entire workout....

Dumbbell presses, yup, you guessed it....same as curls, but now we have an added feature boys and girls....Yes, my children, it gets better. You see, starting with the second excercise of 12, the SWEAT begins....not that small sheen on the brow shit...I'm talking yellow stained, sticky, funky smelling sweat from one strange, and ugly fuck-nut. And after each set, he just stands there grinning like a mule eat'n briars like he's done something.......Now, a few members cut the workout short, they seem to know when a professional is at work, he needs more room.....and he gets plenty.

Well, to cut a long story short....Ole Ranger hasn't been known for patience on certain things, gym manners being top of the list....In my travels, I have strived to take young Iron Brothers and Sisters under my wing and enlighten them on my personal thoughts....and hence my latest woes begin tonight....

A couple of the younger Iron Brothers who think I am some kind of God, and I can't for the life of me figure out why, heh heh heh, decided to help me in my plan to foil " The Troll "!!

His pattern was simple, and he never strayed from it...not once. We watched, we waited...the anticipation building. This was our night, we would purge the Iron Humanity of this spreading sickness....<or so I told the Young Brothers>

There was the cue..." The Troll " began to put his clothes on over top of his nasty, sweaty ass....TIME TO MOVE!!!!

Our recon was perfect, the ambush was set....we waited. Here he came out the building to his Lexus, the cold bushes itching our noses, but we endured....he was singing " Hello Dolly " as to mock us.....I gave the signal and the action began....

Iron Brother number 1 runs up, ski mask hiding his face, a 5 gallon bucket full of cold water and industrial strength cleaner hits " The Troll " full body. Perfect timing, the sickness is dazed, confused......

As he begins to utter profanity, Iron Brother number 2 and 3 move into action....we were all dressed in black, full-faced ski masks.....Another 5 gallon bucket, but this time, ice cold water....sort of a rinse cycle I would guess....Iron Brother number three dashes by and hits his fading hairline, and pudgy, pock-marked face with liquid wax.....Why wax you ask.....couldn't hurt now could it!!!

And last but not least, yours truly comes from the blind side....I must admit, I am a true planner. " The Troll " then recieves the final touches....A full 5 gallon bucket full of LIME.....Why lime?? To ensure the stench never returns.....keeps dead bodies from stinking, outa work on his nasty ass as well......

We dash across the grass, hit a used car lot....gone.

Entire operation is a success, no casulties, no injuries, no " Troll " .....Well, that was my night, how was yours.....

Anyone else have these retards in their gym???

Retards....Hmmmmmmmmmm....Now there's another story, but we'll save that one for another time my Brutha's and Sista's....

Peace

Ranger
 
RANGER>> WOW

BAHAHAHHA DAMn that is a classic ! WHat is your fee for ridding trolls from a gym?? I think I would like to contract your services : )
 
The #1 thing I can't stand at a gym

Your training and doing supersets-giant sets whatever and there is always a guy who has to walk from one end of the gym to the other just to get you to spot him.(Don't even know the guy and don't want to know him) but picks you out because you may be one of the bigger guys in the gym. There are like 6 others just standing near him not even working out but he has to come and pick you. PRICK!!

heres another ---
Guys that walk into the gym still wearing there shades. Walk through the whole gym while wearing them. At my old gym there was this one skinny trainer who every single day would walk into the gym from one side to the other talking on his cell and wearing shades. Can't stand these clowns.

Another---guys that pack everything into the biggest gym bag they could find and carry it from machine to machine. When there down working out (usually in a wife beater) carry there huge bag out of the gym with there bicep pressed up tight to there side to make there arms look bigger then they are. These guys are usually wearing there 80s style work out gear and otomix shoes.
 
Wombat said:
The #1 thing I can't stand at a gym


heres another ---
Guys that walk into the gym still wearing there shades. Walk through the whole gym while wearing them. At my old gym there was this one skinny trainer who every single day would walk into the gym from one side to the other talking on his cell and wearing shades. Can't stand these clowns.

.
Click to expand...

There are some fucking clowns at my gym that WORK OUT with shades on the entire time!! I never understood that one.
 
Dumb ass

Stupidest shit I ever saw was a guy that sold juice out of his locker at the gym. He would solicit any regular. I never bought from him. I told him onetime that he might as well hold up a sign for the cops, because he was so obvious about it.
 
Ranger:

All I have to say is, WOW. And the funniest part of it all is that I believe you.

WRJ
 
trapeeze training

You're not going to even believe this one! I was training at a gym while out of town.
This dude was was doing cross cables. OK, I can handle that. But, he jumps up during the eccentric move - and I mean ALL the way to the top of the frame! Crosses his arms as he lands back on the ground and then leaps back up as the cables pull him. Fucking funnier than shit. I asked the manager if he was some kind of freak ballet dork. Nope - "just one of the hard-core meat heads training chest that day". Making this farce even funnier was the moron right next to him doing cable curls. Looked like he was bowing to Mecca if you can get that visual. His elbows never moved. He just bent back and forth at the waist. Twighlight Zone for real! - Quadsweep's Beast Bitch :p
 
Quadsweep said:
I once saw a guy fall asleep slowly walking on the treadmill. He caught himself but he almost wiped out! :D
Click to expand...


hmmm ...sounds like GHB.LOL

anyone ever G out at the gym,or see someone else G out?

Saw this dude yesterday G out in mid conversation.Past right the fuck out.It was kinda funny,Except for the people who were totally oblivious to what was really going on.People were kinda scared.
 
I was hoping that this thread was still here. This just happened this morning. My side is still hurting from laughing so hard. THANK GOD, no one was hurt....... Here goes.......


I am in the back row in the cardio section of my gym doing my 30 minutes on the stair stepper. You know, the big one that stands way above all the other machines. It's 6 a.m. and the gym is freaking packed! It looks like a Monday afternoon at 6 p.m. obviously, all the "new years resolution" people are here to put their 3 weeks in.

In walk a couple of newbees. Brand new workout clothes. Both in their mid 30's, I'd guess. He heads off to the locker room, and she walks over to the magazine rack. After about 5 minutes of uncertainty of what to do, they both decide to get on the tread mills right in front of me. I'm watching the news, so I'm not really paying too much attention to everything that’s happening.... About 5 minutes go by.

All of a sudden, I hear a boom and I see the guy slip on the treadmill. It's like I'm watching this in slow motion. His legs go out from underneath him. He manages to grab the handlebar on the front of the tread mill and is hanging on like someone hanging on to the bumper of a car going 30 miles an hour. His legs are flailing around trying to get some footing and WHAM, the treadmill grabs the bottom of his sweat pants and off they come!! At this point, I'm laughing so hard, I'm tripping on the steps trying to stay on top of the machine to watch. All this while, his wife is just walking on her machine, watching, not knowing what to do. Once he realizes that his pants are off, panic sets in and he grabs for his wife’s hand. She reaches out to grab it, catches his hand and as he lets go of the machine, the running treadmill drags him off, and drags her diagonally across the side bars of her machine, catching her top and lifting it, along with her bra, right over her freaking head. They both land in a pile on the floor, right in front of my machine, him with no pants on, and her with her top and bra wrapped over the top of her head.

I’m laughing so hard at this point that off I go, right on my ass and into the wall behind me. By the time I caught my breath, all I saw was their ass ends, heading out the front door.

My ass is sore from landing on it, but today is chest day for me.
 
I think I've seen it all at my gym, but they keep coming. This one guy, big upper body, noooo legs at all. Thinks he a god of sorts. So this guy is curling with an easy curl bar, grunting and groaning, just making a complete scene. He throws on a ten on one side, his partner didn't see him add weight, so didn't add any thing. So he starts his set, then realizes that it's not balanced. So the jackass turns the bar up to look at the one side and all the weight on the other side comes flying off the bar in a huge crash on the floor. He was so damn red after that.
 
I have fat bald guy in my gym that looks like he has a package of hotdogs on the back of his head. He wrote on his weightbelt "PITBULL". Everytime I see him - it really pisses me off - I feel like cracking him in the face with a dumbell.

Also, we have a yeller in are gym - some guido that weighs about 165 - probably couldn't bench his body weight - he yells so load while doing a set and he isn't even maxing out. He will get 12 reps no problem but yell the whole time. I bothers me beyond belief.

How about the sweater - who drenches the equipment with his stinky BO and doesn't wipe of the machine he was using.

We also have this looser woman who talks on the cell phone her whole workout. She talk exceptionally load as if she thinks she is f-ing cool that she has a cell phone - I want to push he teeth out.
 
JKD, please tell me what gym your talking about, cause i think i know who the guy is with the package of hot dogs on the back of his head. I'm from CT also!!!
 
Last week, I saw this 150lb dude strutting around the gym in a hooded sweatshirt(pulled over his head). Anyways... the little fucker reaches into his leather gym bag, pulls out a can of Pepsi, then punctures a hole near the bottom of can with a pair of scissors, and "shot-guns" the fucking thing!

No offence to any guys who are into the habbit of shot-gunning pop... but WTF is that supposed to do to your workout? This guy was cut to shreds and it looks like he trains hard, but after seeing that... well, whatever.
 
I swear that guy works out at my gym... hehe... we call him Lex Luther.... I want to kick this guys ass everytime he is in the gym.

I fucking love these funniest gym stories.... :-)

Steele

Yellowbottle said:
There is this guy at my gym that we call range of motion. He walks into the gym with a flannel shirt sleeves cut off, tight blue jeans, and black steel tip army boots. He wears a really bad hair piece and his wife looks like she drank about 20 speed stacks. Anyways he puts thje maximum amount of weight on every machine and does half reps. Grunting at the top of his lungs, he does about 10 machines in 8 minutes does one set of abs, one set of leg presses, 3minutes on the bike and goes home,having not even worked a muscle. He comes in everyday with the same thing on and does the same routine 4 days a week. Shit my gym has a whole bunch of funny mother fuckers. Maybe one day I will write about them I am sure it will be a good laugh.
Click to expand...
 
Was working in a gym in Mid-West good 3 miles out in the desert. Real nice place though, creshe and pool and all new stuff.
Anyway this couple keep coming to train, cept they always have like 4 or 5 kids to put in the creshe (for a buck a piece for two hours). The creshe atendant gets a little suspicious however as they seem to have different kids on different days. Anyhow they find out that this lady is a childminder - getting like paid to watch other people's kids - then working out, having a sauna with her boyfriend, etc. CHEEKY FUCKING COW! So the manager takes the couple aside and asks them for proof of guardianship. They obviously can't prove it and the dude goes crazy, kicking plants, waving his fist, "fucking this" and "fucking that". He storms out to get his car from the back of the car park. Comes screaching up to the front, gets out and slams his door, comes in to help get the kids into the car, and realises that he has locked himself out! The car's running, it's 110 degrees outside, the kids are crying, three miles from anything! That poor bastard had to eat humble pie to get us to call a locksmith and the family had to wait for an hour in our foyer. Worst thing is they'd just paid for a year's delux membership but never came back again.
 
Well....

Purdog said:
We've got this kid in my gym we call MAD DOG. He's about 110lbs at 30% BF. He's always posing in the mirrors and saying he's got the best body in the gym and that the women can't keep thier eyes off of him....
Click to expand...

I'm sure they can't keep their eyes off them. It's just like how most of us can't help gawking at car accidents. It's groteque ad facinating at the same time.

For me, I'd say the dumbest thing I see is bad form. So many guys who do herky-jerky reps thinking it's working (to some extent it is), but not getting the benefit of full range of motion just by doing controled motion with lower weight.

Then, personal trainers scare me. Someone actually pays them to do light training a pamphlet could show them in 10 minutes. Hey, if you're gonna pay someone to teach you how to train, learn to train hardcore. You can always do less if you want, but anyone can train like a wimp. :rolleyes:
 
The Almighty said:
The real funny story is when they squat. One of them throws a 35 on each side....moans of course on each rep...does ten reps then takes a step back. He will then jump up and down while the other two guys slap his ass every time he lands. He will do 10 "reps" of those then lie down on the floor during his break.
Click to expand...

That is the gayest thing I've ever heard ROFL
 
1. Little guys pulling their sleeves up over and over again because they are too small for them to stay up.

2. Little guys giving stupid tips they think are good and they say them really loud so everyone can hear him giving tips.

3. Fat guys who lift too much weight so that they can't even do 2 reps by them self, even though a little guy could do it 10 times.

4. Little guys who flirt with girls for 10 minutes at a time and do a set which takes 5 seconds.

5. Guys that take juice for the first time and think they are superman even though they get no results.

If I owned a jym, you would have to pass a test to be accepted, no jokers allowed.
 
I for got one, a jym that has dumbells that only go up to 100lbs. Are these jyms for infants? I could eat these thing for breakfast with mustard on them and a bun.
 
This was some funny shit. It had me rolling. Is this for real? It sounds like some shit out of a movie?

Buff_Lover said:
I was hoping that this thread was still here. This just happened this morning. My side is still hurting from laughing so hard. THANK GOD, no one was hurt....... Here goes.......


I am in the back row in the cardio section of my gym doing my 30 minutes on the stair stepper. You know, the big one that stands way above all the other machines. It's 6 a.m. and the gym is freaking packed! It looks like a Monday afternoon at 6 p.m. obviously, all the "new years resolution" people are here to put their 3 weeks in.

In walk a couple of newbees. Brand new workout clothes. Both in their mid 30's, I'd guess. He heads off to the locker room, and she walks over to the magazine rack. After about 5 minutes of uncertainty of what to do, they both decide to get on the tread mills right in front of me. I'm watching the news, so I'm not really paying too much attention to everything that’s happening.... About 5 minutes go by.

All of a sudden, I hear a boom and I see the guy slip on the treadmill. It's like I'm watching this in slow motion. His legs go out from underneath him. He manages to grab the handlebar on the front of the tread mill and is hanging on like someone hanging on to the bumper of a car going 30 miles an hour. His legs are flailing around trying to get some footing and WHAM, the treadmill grabs the bottom of his sweat pants and off they come!! At this point, I'm laughing so hard, I'm tripping on the steps trying to stay on top of the machine to watch. All this while, his wife is just walking on her machine, watching, not knowing what to do. Once he realizes that his pants are off, panic sets in and he grabs for his wife’s hand. She reaches out to grab it, catches his hand and as he lets go of the machine, the running treadmill drags him off, and drags her diagonally across the side bars of her machine, catching her top and lifting it, along with her bra, right over her freaking head. They both land in a pile on the floor, right in front of my machine, him with no pants on, and her with her top and bra wrapped over the top of her head.

I’m laughing so hard at this point that off I go, right on my ass and into the wall behind me. By the time I caught my breath, all I saw was their ass ends, heading out the front door.

My ass is sore from landing on it, but today is chest day for me.
Click to expand...
 
A guy around 45 y/o or so was in pretty good shape.. He constantly did tricep dips with feet/legs on bench, 45 on lap, and hands on this rickety old chair that was falling apart... nobody else used the chair.. only this dumbass... then of course one day the chair broke and just lacerated his forearm wide open.. had to have surgical repair.. the fucker sued the gym and they acutally settled out with him... And to top it off he still comes in their.. the fucking nerve!!..Every time I see him I want to slap him.......and his lawyer....
 
To come to think of it, the stupidist thing I have ever seen at the gym are little guys.

No offence to the little guys, but some of you gotta stop thinking you are a nutrition analyists + pro bb's + pro trainers. If you were I think you would look different than what you look like.

When I say little guys I mean roughly, 5'9, 155lbs. Go eat some food, never mind working out.
 
Stapled to the Floor said:
one day the chair broke and just lacerated his forearm wide open.. had to have surgical repair.. the fucker sued the gym and they acutally settled out with him... And to top it off he still comes in their.. the fucking nerve!!..Every time I see him I want to slap him.......and his lawyer....
Click to expand...

In all fairness, it sounds like he was stupid to use the chair, and the gym was RETARDED to leave it on site!
 
there are these two soccer kids and this girl that have this guy taht coaches them when they lift. They have the same routine every day. Bench squats ( where you squat down on the bench to make sure you go parallel) and they dont even touch the fuckin thing, then they move on to wrist curls (this is where the coach joins them and does some sets with them) and they do these with dumbbells and take up every bench in the dumbbell area when doin these wrist curls. Then they move on to pylometrics like jumping up stairs and jumping on benches (at least they dont this in the actual weight room they do it by the basketball courts). That is the routine every day. Bench squats, wrist curls and pylo and they do this for soccer. It's so rediculous watchin the guy coach them the whole time too. They come in there with clipboards and journals (nothing wrong with that) but its just stupid when they do the same shit every day. Its ludacris.
 
sorry about postin twice in a row but someone reminded me of somthing. There is this guy who does bench every day and his range of motion cracks my ass up. He puts 315 on and he seriously does about 1/8 of a rep every time. He does what he thinks is sets of ten but i dont think he can even max the shit. I dont know what hes tryin to accomplish but oh well.
 
Bobber said:
I dont know about retards in the gym, but lately there has been this one hot ass girl that keeps distracting me in the gym. In my gym the hammer strengths are right next to the stretching area and it seems like everytime I am over there she has to come over there and start stretching. She doesn't just do normal stretches either,for instance she will turn her back to me, bend over grab her ankles and start moving back and forth in a "fuck me" like motion and then turn around and give me a big smile. Everytime she does it I pop wood and have to quickly move so she doesnt see it. Makes for an interesting work out but really distracts the fuck out of me. I know this doesn't really fit in ths thread but thats the only out of the ordinary gym story I have.
Click to expand...

There's this one guy in my gym that walks around with a boner all the time. we think he's hilarious.
 
BEEFCKE said:



hmmm ...sounds like GHB.LOL

anyone ever G out at the gym,or see someone else G out?

Saw this dude yesterday G out in mid conversation.Past right the fuck out.It was kinda funny,Except for the people who were totally oblivious to what was really going on.People were kinda scared.
Click to expand...

When I was a trainer at Gold's my boss used to sell Furanone, just like GHB, he fell asleep trying to get the key into his office door, which is right in the front of the gym. He's standing there with his head up against the door, passed out, doing that jerking motion. I left the fucker there for about ten minutes. I thought it was hilarious.
 
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