The "ALLCAPS" thing is a mental condition. It's stems from repeated ass ramming from various barnyard animals. Since the victim is often on all fours, the joints in the wrists become worn and less flexible making typing extremely difficult. Not using the "shift" button eases the constant pain.
Often, i've lurked under your bed using soiled underwear for warmth and rubbing my freshly licked finger up and down your neck as you sleep. You complete me.