Split up with the lady, now a hot blond wants me to spend the night.... advice?

[Big Brother Val]

Mrs. TG... you are absolutely right. I wasn't this jealous before. It wasn't until she got looking a lot better, wearing a lot smaller clothes, and becomming more distant. That's when the jealousy REALLY kicked in. I mean... I'm always protective... and I like to keep a gal for myself. I'm really greedy. I want to be the one she wants to impress. I want to be the one she wants to look good for. Granted... I understand she wants to feel attractive... every woman does. And I don't want to take it from her. That wouldn't be fair. I simply want to be included in the equation. Rather than her not hold my hand in public sometimes... and not communicate. That's what makes me the most jealous. And now... the jealousy is getting out of hand. I'm just not sure how to control it. Thanks very much for your info. I'm glad a lady chimed in. Hopefully, a few more will.

RealDeal... thanks a lot for taking the time to write what you do. I have sat her down before, and told her if she can't take the time to tell me something about how she feels... or even tell me I look good anymore... then I would have to go. If she can't say one single word about how she feels, then it proves she doesn't feel anything. And what does she say? Nothing. She just sits there quiet... her mannerisms show that she's getting angry... and eventually will either leave, or tell me that she doesn't do anything wrong, and she'll even say "You need help." Meaning a psychiatrist.

I try as hard as I can to be totally calm, and rational. Even when I tell her that she hurts me, I make sure to remind her that the reason it hurts me, is because of how much I love her. I tell her I know she's not seeing other people... but that she's hardly even seeing me now. When I ask her why she wants to marry me... she says "Because." And that's it. She won't give me anymore. Well how can you want to marry someone, and not even be able to tell that person how you feel about them?

I truly feel like I'm the woman in the situation... wanting her to tell me how she feels, rather than just showing physical affection. Being jealous. Left out. Feeling unimportant. I want her to talk to me. To tell me what I am.

Thank you all for taking the time to write. I really do appreciate it.

 

[FreakMonster]

Mrs. TG... you are absolutely right. I wasn't this jealous before. It wasn't until she got looking a lot better, wearing a lot smaller clothes, and becomming more distant. That's when the jealousy REALLY kicked in. I mean... I'm always protective... and I like to keep a gal for myself. I'm really greedy. I want to be the one she wants to impress. I want to be the one she wants to look good for. Granted... I understand she wants to feel attractive... every woman does. And I don't want to take it from her. That wouldn't be fair. I simply want to be included in the equation. Rather than her not hold my hand in public sometimes... and not communicate. That's what makes me the most jealous. And now... the jealousy is getting out of hand. I'm just not sure how to control it. Thanks very much for your info. I'm glad a lady chimed in. Hopefully, a few more will.

RealDeal... thanks a lot for taking the time to write what you do. I have sat her down before, and told her if she can't take the time to tell me something about how she feels... or even tell me I look good anymore... then I would have to go. If she can't say one single word about how she feels, then it proves she doesn't feel anything. And what does she say? Nothing. She just sits there quiet... her mannerisms show that she's getting angry... and eventually will either leave, or tell me that she doesn't do anything wrong, and she'll even say "You need help." Meaning a psychiatrist.

I try as hard as I can to be totally calm, and rational. Even when I tell her that she hurts me, I make sure to remind her that the reason it hurts me, is because of how much I love her. I tell her I know she's not seeing other people... but that she's hardly even seeing me now. When I ask her why she wants to marry me... she says "Because." And that's it. She won't give me anymore. Well how can you want to marry someone, and not even be able to tell that person how you feel about them?

I truly feel like I'm the woman in the situation... wanting her to tell me how she feels, rather than just showing physical affection. Being jealous. Left out. Feeling unimportant. I want her to talk to me. To tell me what I am.

Thank you all for taking the time to write. I really do appreciate it.

She's being extremely immature!! Tell her to grow up and talk like an adult. She's acting like a 15 yr. old

 

[ShadowKnight]

Relationships

A good college friend of mine gave me a test for all women to see if they worthy of a relationship or not. And now I will pass along to all of you, The Dong Test:

Find some time to sit down on the couch together and watch a movie or something. When she gets up to go the bathroom, fridge, etc., whip your dong out. When she comes back in the room, she'll notice.
At that point there will be two scenarios.

#1 She sees what she likes and you fuck like dirty pigs. The relationship was meant to happen.

#2 She gets pissed and walks out of your life forever. The relationship was never meant to happen.


Let me know how the results turn out for you! Good Luck!!

SK

 

[RealDeal]

Big Bro,

You're welcome. All of us on this board are connected in some way, if only as members or for our mutual interests. However, I hate to hear of someone being shit on (for lack of a more appropriate word) who seems totally undeserving.

The heart of the matter is that she's unwilling to communicate. I said it in my last post, and you only confirmed it when you said you've already tried what I suggested. You said it yourself, "She won't give me anymore." She's taking, you're giving. That's no relationship bro. It's obvious you adore this girl, but you have to draw a line. You have to stick up for yourself at some point, and personally I think you've gone way beyond the point most of us would. I love my g/f to death and we're discussing something "more serious" eventually, but even with all that, I have to believe that if she started acting that way toward me and refused to communicate, that I'd walk away. Not right off, but most certainly if it continued.

You say you hope you're not making her out to be the bad person, but I don't think you even need to say that. Most of us can come to that conclusion ourselves. You say she's not, and maybe at heart she's quite a good person, but she's not acting that way. She's not respecting you, and she's not acting like someone who gives a rat's ass about you or your relationship.

If you already sat her down & more or less gave her the ultimatum, then I think you need to follow your words. Seriously start looking for another place to live. Tell her you're doing this and that you intend to move out as soon as you find something. Start getting your belongings in order. Obviously she doesn't believe you really will because you're not acting like it. She thinks you're still at her beck & call, and you're not giving her a reason to believe any differently. She might say you "need help." I don't think so!

Bottom line: start taking action, do this for yourself.

 

[RealDeal]

Re: Relationships

Let me know how the results turn out for you! Good Luck!!

SK

I don't think those are the only two possibilities. I've done this before. My girl stopped, looked down, grinned really big, said I was a crazy man, then sat back down.

We finished the movie or whatever it was on TV.

Later we got into the bedroom and went all out.

I do wish she initiated more though! I'd love it if she'd just jump my bones sometimes, with or without me flashing my dong.

 

[Texas Guns]

First of all, she needs a spanking! She's like me, spoiled rotten by the "queen treatment".

Let me play Dr Phil MrGraw for a moment. If you want to heal and fix a relationship, don't go into it trying to fix what is wrong with her. Start fixing you. Be very gut wrenching honest with yourself and start working on you and your shortcomings. When she sees what a wonderful man you really are, she will not let you out of her sight!!! Do this for you, not her.

Fix the jealous tendencies within your self and she will be chasing you down to make her hold your hand and be affectionate in public. As hard as it is to do, act like you really doesn't bother you and you are just happy to be there. When you fix some of the insecurities within yourself, the jealousy will fade away. You need to have the attitude, hey, this is me. If you don't want to be with me, then don't.

Don't forget that there is also two sides to a story. She may not be able to communicate how she feels or she may feel like she cannot trust you right now to share her innermost feelings about you. Do you ever bring things back on her? Biggest mistake a guy can make.

Hope this helps a little.

Mrs. TG

 

[Texas Guns]

BTW-- Just checked out your website. If she is ashamed to be seen with you, she must be the one who needs the psychiatrist!

I would also like to know how in the hell you got her into a size 0 shorts!!!!

 

[RealDeal]

Again, Mrs TG makes some good points & a good suggestion.

DO work on your jealous tendencies as that's something you need to fix. A little possessiveness is in all of us in regard to our significant other, but you can easily carry it too far. Like I said, I think it's a contributing factor, but I've extremely doubtful it is the root of the problem.

She's an atypical woman if she's unwilling to communicate and truely feels there is a problem or wants to work on making things right again. Her closed mouth and stubbornness creates a lot of doubt in my mind on what she wants out of her relationship with Big Bro.

As I said before, lack of communication will ruin any relationship. If she cannot talk to you about all this, finding a way to work it out is like pissing in the wind.

 

[Big Brother Val]

First off, thanks again.

Second, RealDeal... I actually have about 50% of my stuff in storage right now. Moved it out 2 weeks ago. I only have what I use daily at home. I was hoping that would be enough. It has changed nothing.

I just went to take her out to lunch. She was wearing an outfit that leaves literally nothing to the imagination, that she actually bought on her way to work today, knowing I wouldn't see her in it. So I stop out to take her to lunch, and when I saw what she had on, I simply walked out. Didn't wanna start a fight. So she comes out after me, and gets pissed that I went to "check up on her." She says I have no right. I told her I just wanted to have lunch and talk. She says she can't live like this anymore. That I make her feel like such shit, and she's tired of it. I asked her what I did that was so wrong, and she said I don't care about her. If I did, we'd be married a long time ago.

I said I couldn't marry someone I didn't think loved me. She said I was the one with a problem. That she didn't do anything wrong. She asked "Why can't I want to look good?" And I said I was glad she was confident, and felt good about herself. But what she was wearing didn't even look classy. It looked like she was easy. Now... I didn't say that to be an asshole. It's just how it was. I couldn't believe it. In any case... she got mad at me for being hurt... like always... walked back into work, and that was it.

I'm trying to build up the balls to get off work early, go pack my stuff, then head to the ring to beat the shit out of someone, and help vent frustration.

Mrs. TX, thanks again for taking the time. I have often thought about what you said. I'm trying as hard as I can to improve. I just don't know where it is I should start. I know I should act like it doesn't bother me. I'm just not sure how to do that either.
It's hard to act like I don't care.

I think this may be the last straw. Though I'm sure when I leave, she'll wear the tightest, most revealing things she can, and make sure I see her in it... so I'll be sure to see what I'm missing, and how much she's enjoying freedom.

And thanks for the physique compliment. Maybe if I had 20" arms, rather than 18", I'd be more valuable, huh?

Thanks again for the support, and advice.

It is very much appreciated.

 

[Big Brother Val]

ShadowKnight. I did that before... she thought it was a small mouse climbing on my lap, so she took off her shoe and smashed it with the heel. I bled for several days.

She said it was my fault for being in the way of the shoe when she swung it. It wasn't her fault. She doesn't do anything wrong.


Oh yeah... did I say "small mouse"? I meant... she thought it was a Camel. Yeah... that's it. A giant, furry Camel. It was huge.