Question about sex in love

[Golemnium]

I want your opinion and experiences please...

I'm a young guy in a relationship with my first girl who is even younger than me (she is 17 years old) and I found out she is into some hardcore shit.

She basically gets the hornier and horny the faster depending on how much disrespectful attitude I throw at her. We've been together a year and a half.

She was always kind of crazy, at least for her age (likes to be tied up and manhandled etc) but recently she kinda shocked me when during sex she told me to call her a bitch and a slut. When I did, she told me I wasn't being sincere enough and had to say it louder. One of her favourites is when I tie my belt around her neck and pull her head around with it to make her suck me off. Preferably pulling her up now and then just to taunt her.

When I do take on this attitude, she just gets wetter and more excited and cums easier than otherwise.

However we've been exclusive for a year and a half, she also confides in me about everything and right after sex we fall asleep intertwined and she tells me how much she loves me etc. I'm the first guy who has sex with her.
She kisses girls a lot, but I think that's just the typical teen bullshit of today and she's not really bi. Although I'm in doubt there, she sounds serious about it at times.

I'll be honest, somehow this stuff turns me on, I just don't really know how to handle it.

I always thought girls like this only occurred in bad situations... not in such a whitebread, Kellog's commercial family as hers...

 

[BUBBLES]

Wow, that is something I see only in the movies.

Is she otherwise normal when you don't have sex?

 

[Golemnium]

Well, she's unusually open about sex. She'll sometimes bring it up in conversations even with people she doesn't know very well. She's constantly reading books about sex she knows everything about it.

When we're not having sex she behaves quite normal. We hang out at each others' parents home and we both get along well with our in-laws.

I recall one time when I took her along to a friends party and when we left on our way to my place she told me she was glad she got out of there, because she couldn't stop thinking about getting gangbanged by me and my friends.

Her parents are very normal, average, friendly, middle class people.

They seem to have the same anything goes attitude about sex though. I remember one time I wake up with her in her parents place and we went downstairs and her mother smiled and said, you guys must be exhausted, I made you some juice.

All together shes just a very typical teen girl, except for her attitude to sex. She has mood swings and often suddenly wants to change her look, she complains none of her friends really understand her... She's somewhat insecure I think. Although she often declares her own godliness, but that's probably part of it. She's also insecure about not being from a high class family, how neither of her parents ever went to college or uni etc...
She's a smart girl herself.

She's very tall and looks a good 20.

 

[Bikini Mod]

That is some scary shit. Haven't CLUE ONE as to why she is this way.

 

[Golemnium]

lol now you guys make me feel like a madman lol
we dont even do scat or piss or pain or choking-

we're still in a subdivision of sick (I think)

but at this age and without any special history, yeah she's pretty nutty

 

[Bikini Mod]

Hey - two mutually consenting adults. I am not judging you OR her. But I have to question (as are you) WHERE such ideas would come from to a girl that is so young and so "normal".

I am nearing 40 and had it not been for the web and all of the different types of people that I have met since I split from my exhusband (did a bit of traveling) I would NEVER have had the notion to think the things that I have thought as of late, let alone actually taken the step to act on them.

I think the answer lies more with her parents than you think. More "normal" people are into odd sorts of things than most would realize.

As long as both are mutually consenting adults and there are no lies and deceipt, no one is being taken advantage of - rock on.

 

[Golemnium]

well when sex is concerned 16 is legal where I live

I don't know how she came to think this way.

When she was only 16 she even came to my house and brought lube and some leather belts. I never asked for that.

Around the same time she showed me in the shower she can squirt the water from her pussy after she lets it run in.

She has a whole array of sex tools in her room, none of which are designed to be sex tools, she just finds out some object can be used as this or that.

I don't know where she gets it. She doesn't watch much porn. Or well, pictures and some girl on girl vids... but nothing about loon fantasies or anything. i think she reads most of it in books and she has this gay boy friend who is a perv mind too who she talks to a lot.

She always used to play with the boys in primary school and climb trees and build stuff, but she's all girly since puberty.

But back to the original question... this sexist, patriarchal sex, how do you place it in a sincere relationship? is it even possible?

 

[PBR]

That is some scary shit. Haven't CLUE ONE as to why she is this way.

it is an insatiable desire (at this age) that will constantly find a way to be fed....this is a road you will either choose to follow and experience with the same frame of mind, or it will consume you and your emotions like a wild fire thru dry fields....

 

[Golemnium]

PBR what are you saying?

You mean you think I'll go mad if i do it wrong?

Anyway I'm somehow glad she's like this. I want to experience these things too.

Even if it's just to "get over them" if that's what will happen

 

[Gymgurl]

Its okay to be nasty in the bed room....as long as everthing else is normal

 

[PBR]

PBR what are you saying?

You mean you think I'll go mad if i do it wrong?

Anyway I'm somehow glad she's like this. I want to experience these things too.

Even if it's just to "get over them" if that's what will happen

in my experience with a woman like minded, this led to her finding multiple outlets (men/women) to fulfill a void that cannot be fed...i fell in love with someone who could not, nor wanted love. she simply lived for herself and did whatever she could and wanted to do to fill fantasy and illusion...
my warning in my response is telling you to take whats before you as it is...be careful with your emotions with something of this nature...
its cool to find someone like this and to write about it and get responses like "wow-wish i had that" and so on, but there is always a price to pay at some point in time...she may truely love you and you may be her "all", but take my advice on this one- make sure, before you take a fall and float endlessly in love.
life is never for sure, there are no guarantees. very few rules. this leaves "us" to take care of ourselves...take care of yourself.

 

[theoak01]

I agree nasty in the bedroom is a great thing,but I prefer the lady in the street freak in the bed type, dont seem shes like that but if your having fun enjoy it dude because its unlikely you will marry this girl,just learn from it and have fun.

also realize not all girls are like that so try not to get to use to this,my ex was like this and unless I get this type of sex it just does fuck all for me now

 

[Golemnium]

I can imagine wild sex can be very spoiling.
But that only means it's good, IMO

You know what I'm not gonna think too much about it anymore. I'll just see for how long it stays enjoyable. I'm 19, my father first got married at 44.

We'll see

 

[rudeboyja]

In my experiences, women who do stuff like this get more bizzare as time goes on. And after a while that shit gets to be a turn off

 

[Gymgurl]

There needs to be a mixture of the kinky with the normal...other wise it does get old!

 

[Sub-Zero]

try punching her in the face and calling her a pussy bitch slut whore if she cries, and see how she likes it then

 

[milo hobgoblin]

Im sure its a lot of fun and a real turn on.. but you must have an idea where some of this is coming from.. right?

If she likes being degraded in bed like that especially at 17?? she has gone through something traumatic in terms of sex...

In the long term. most of the stability in your relationship is gonna come from you.. and it soudns like she is wanting to experience multiple partners.. so I hope your open minded.

 

[Golemnium]

Im sure its a lot of fun and a real turn on.. but you must have an idea where some of this is coming from.. right?

If she likes being degraded in bed like that especially at 17?? she has gone through something traumatic in terms of sex...

In the long term. most of the stability in your relationship is gonna come from you.. and it soudns like she is wanting to experience multiple partners.. so I hope your open minded.

I know quite a bit about her. I'm pretty sure she's not traumatized.

I do know she's very insecure about how she thinks her tits are too small

 

[Golemnium]

She's wanted to do anal forever but she says it hurts when I put in 2 fingers- with lots of lube.

She describes how she likes to feel completely powerless, how she likes the notion of being my possession and she likes how I like to dress more conservatively and distinguishedly than her, since it reaffirms her inferiority to me.

 

[Mr. Black]

She sounds like a keeper to me

 

[Golemnium]

I used to worry she was so willing and wild because she had to, in order to keep me, but I know it does turn her on. If I treat her soft and sweet it takes a very long time to really work her up, if I manhandle her around and call her out and taunt her she's dripping wet within 30 seconds.

 

[Bikini Mod]

She describes how she likes to feel completely powerless, how she likes the notion of being my possession...

A feeling like this during sex I can understand. Not always, but sometimes I like to feel this way when I am making love as well.

nd she likes how I like to dress more conservatively and distinguishedly than her, since it reaffirms her inferiority to me.

This part is odd to me as it confirms that she has issues. Not about the "how you dress part" but the part where she likes to feel inferior to you.

For me, the only way that I can be powerless and feel that I am my lover's possession is if I RENDER THAT POWER. He doesn't take it. I give it to him freely. These feelings do not carry over into any other aspect of our life. And it isn't always present when we are in bed either.

 

[DIVISION]

I want your opinion and experiences please...

I'm a young guy in a relationship with my first girl who is even younger than me (she is 17 years old) and I found out she is into some hardcore shit.

She basically gets the hornier and horny the faster depending on how much disrespectful attitude I throw at her. We've been together a year and a half.

She was always kind of crazy, at least for her age (likes to be tied up and manhandled etc) but recently she kinda shocked me when during sex she told me to call her a bitch and a slut. When I did, she told me I wasn't being sincere enough and had to say it louder. One of her favourites is when I tie my belt around her neck and pull her head around with it to make her suck me off. Preferably pulling her up now and then just to taunt her.

When I do take on this attitude, she just gets wetter and more excited and cums easier than otherwise.

However we've been exclusive for a year and a half, she also confides in me about everything and right after sex we fall asleep intertwined and she tells me how much she loves me etc. I'm the first guy who has sex with her.
She kisses girls a lot, but I think that's just the typical teen bullshit of today and she's not really bi. Although I'm in doubt there, she sounds serious about it at times.

I'll be honest, somehow this stuff turns me on, I just don't really know how to handle it.

I always thought girls like this only occurred in bad situations... not in such a whitebread, Kellog's commercial family as hers...

Some women like to be treated like whores during sex, it's their way of acting out their passive aggressive tendencies they have been conditioned by society to feel ashamed of. It's not uncommon.....alot of "nice" women like to regress during sex and be treated like shit, choked, pulled hair, slapped, called names, degraded....etc.

It's a condition of our sexually repressed society. Women get mixed messages and these are the results. When women are not made to feel ashamed for their sexual intuitions these disorders will decrease.






DIV

 

[Golemnium]

Some women like to be treated like whores during sex, it's their way of acting out their passive aggressive tendencies they have been conditioned by society to feel ashamed of. It's not uncommon.....alot of "nice" women like to regress during sex and be treated like shit, choked, pulled hair, slapped, called names, degraded....etc.

It's a condition of our sexually repressed society. Women get mixed messages and these are the results. When women are not made to feel ashamed for their sexual intuitions these disorders will decrease.






DIV

She was raised very liberally. Her parents even talk about sex to her even in front of me.

 

[Golemnium]

A feeling like this during sex I can understand. Not always, but sometimes I like to feel this way when I am making love as well.

This part is odd to me as it confirms that she has issues. Not about the "how you dress part" but the part where she likes to feel inferior to you.

For me, the only way that I can be powerless and feel that I am my lover's possession is if I RENDER THAT POWER. He doesn't take it. I give it to him freely. These feelings do not carry over into any other aspect of our life. And it isn't always present when we are in bed either.

Are these things truely so separate? You don't ever feel like "being possessed" by him in normal daily life?

 

[DIVISION]

She was raised very liberally. Her parents even talk about sex to her even in front of me.

Perhaps she's just sexually liberated then.

Whatever turns her on.....



DIV

 

[Just2Flex4Ever]

in my experience with a woman like minded, this led to her finding multiple outlets (men/women) to fulfill a void that cannot be fed...i fell in love with someone who could not, nor wanted love. she simply lived for herself and did whatever she could and wanted to do to fill fantasy and illusion...
my warning in my response is telling you to take whats before you as it is...be careful with your emotions with something of this nature...
its cool to find someone like this and to write about it and get responses like "wow-wish i had that" and so on, but there is always a price to pay at some point in time...she may truely love you and you may be her "all", but take my advice on this one- make sure, before you take a fall and float endlessly in love.
life is never for sure, there are no guarantees. very few rules. this leaves "us" to take care of ourselves...take care of yourself.

My situation started somewhat like yours and ended up just like PBR a women who lives for herself and her fantasies. I fell in love with her and now that i look back at it worst thing i could have done. Im not saying that this is your situation but these type of girls are good to use and abuse then get rid of them. These are not the girls you want to be marrying i sure as hell wouldnt be able to trust a girl after she told me she was fantasizing about getting fucked by you and your friends. How about the day you go out of town she will come up with the idea of FANTISIZING ON HOW IT WOULD BE LIKE TO HAVE SEX WITH A GAY MAN aka her "Friend" man really think about this! Take care just my .02
'Flex'

 

[Colonel Ingus]

I'm going to agree with Milo on this one. Somewhere along the line she has associated a loving relationship with being dominated, and/or being inferior to your partner. You mention that her parents are very open and will discuss sex when you are around......which means that you find that unusual. (I do too, especially at such a young age) Since people tend to think that what they grew up seeing is how it is "supposed to be", more or less, then there may be some darker things going on in her life.

Then again, as was mentioned earlier, you're not at the point where you'd be seriously considering making anyone your wife, so just enjoy it while it's happening, but don't think that this is something that everyone will do for you.

 

[Gymgurl]

DIV...were you a therapist in a past life?? I can get you job.....

 

[Freak Nasty]

I want your opinion and experiences please...

I'm a young guy in a relationship with my first girl who is even younger than me (she is 17 years old) and I found out she is into some hardcore shit.

She basically gets the hornier and horny the faster depending on how much disrespectful attitude I throw at her. We've been together a year and a half.

She was always kind of crazy, at least for her age (likes to be tied up and manhandled etc) but recently she kinda shocked me when during sex she told me to call her a bitch and a slut. When I did, she told me I wasn't being sincere enough and had to say it louder. One of her favourites is when I tie my belt around her neck and pull her head around with it to make her suck me off. Preferably pulling her up now and then just to taunt her.

When I do take on this attitude, she just gets wetter and more excited and cums easier than otherwise.

However we've been exclusive for a year and a half, she also confides in me about everything and right after sex we fall asleep intertwined and she tells me how much she loves me etc. I'm the first guy who has sex with her.
She kisses girls a lot, but I think that's just the typical teen bullshit of today and she's not really bi. Although I'm in doubt there, she sounds serious about it at times.

I'll be honest, somehow this stuff turns me on, I just don't really know how to handle it.

I always thought girls like this only occurred in bad situations... not in such a whitebread, Kellog's commercial family as hers...

i dont understand why you're having problems. This is a one in a life time oppertunity. stick with it. hopefully you are both under 18 or she will be 18 soon. I can imagine the problems if someone says she has bruises and shit. Other than that I got a stiffy reading this story.

You make all men wish they had a girl like this. Congrats

 

[DIVISION]

DIV...were you a therapist in a past life?? I can get you job.....

I do my best to analyze and breakdown people, relationship dynamics.....

If you have a job for me, give me the case study and I'll break it down for you.





DIV

 

[Gymgurl]

I have one that I will pm you about later and see what you come up with.....you should think about going to school one day and work in the field....you have some good instinct

 

[Golemnium]

she just called me up to celebrate the anniversary of the day we deflowered one another... shes out of this world.

She asked me for the second time to tell her one of my sexual fantasies...

Unsexy as it is, I don't think I really have any. I don't actually think about specific scenerio's... more like attitudes and feelings and styles about it...

I suppose I desire complete submission in sex quite a bit. Telling her exactly what to do and how and using some force and her showing herself completely trusting and powerless. I don't care for leather, clamps and steel pins though.

Although rope and leather belts are cool. You can use belts to tie wrists or ankles or anything too if you just wrap them around the right number of times before you close them, even when normally they'd be too long

In essence I'd love to do anal but she's simply too tight, two fingers is pushing it even with lube and I also wonder how they get the inside of asses so clean in porns...

What I (we) like most really is when I have her on her belly on my bed with her hands tied together behind her back and her legs spread and im stimulating her clit, G-spot and ass at the same time using baby oil and both hands, alternated with the occasional few thrusts of fucking... She just runs so hard on this, she gets red stains in the skin on her back and heavy breathing and sweating even though she doesn't move much and she just contracts like crazy and moans and then just lies there inanimately for a little while. My hands are huge, I can grab a basketball with my right thumb and ring finger and my palms are very wide... my hands come in handy as much as my dick does in bed.

Another great thing is when she is riding me, facing me and I'm rubbing her clit with my thumb and now and then she leans way back, resting her hand on the bed behind her, this pushes my dick right hard into her G-spot, gives me an amazing view at her lean juicy underbelly and shaved pussy and allows me to get to her clit manually real good. This always makes her literally vibrate when she cums, no other action has this specific effect.

I wouldn't know about a fantasy. The fantasies told in cheesy porn flicks and shows and columns always seem dully lame to me.

I suppose rescueing a girls life in a manly way and then making love to her in the first safe spot we find, somewhere in nature, would be immensely hot, but it's also very much truely a fantasy unlikely to actually happen.

I've also recently gotten to know hallucinogenic mushrooms and everything feels so wonderful and odd while on them, the floor feels like pillow and touches tickle and a shower is like being rubbed with marbles or something... and the overall mood is just so happy. I'm supercurious what sex would be like on some of this... It would be so intense. She won't touch drugs and I don't want to pressure her to though.

 

[HiDnGoD]

Well, she's unusually open about sex. She'll sometimes bring it up in conversations even with people she doesn't know very well. She's constantly reading books about sex she knows everything about it.

When we're not having sex she behaves quite normal. We hang out at each others' parents home and we both get along well with our in-laws.

I recall one time when I took her along to a friends party and when we left on our way to my place she told me she was glad she got out of there, because she couldn't stop thinking about getting gangbanged by me and my friends.

Her parents are very normal, average, friendly, middle class people.

They seem to have the same anything goes attitude about sex though. I remember one time I wake up with her in her parents place and we went downstairs and her mother smiled and said, you guys must be exhausted, I made you some juice.

All together shes just a very typical teen girl, except for her attitude to sex. She has mood swings and often suddenly wants to change her look, she complains none of her friends really understand her... She's somewhat insecure I think. Although she often declares her own godliness, but that's probably part of it. She's also insecure about not being from a high class family, how neither of her parents ever went to college or uni etc...
She's a smart girl herself.

She's very tall and looks a good 20.

A lot of peoples sexual attitudes subconsciously cum from childhood experiences. I can think of three of my own that do.
Maybe she had some (quite innocent) experiences that she found titillating & over the years expanded on them (always liked to play a prisoner or damsel in distress). That & her parents Openness may have lead her to explore her fantasies. As long as no one gets hurt (too much) and everyone is comfortable, i'd say go with the flow.

 

[Gymgurl]

I see it the same way.....

 

[HiDnGoD]

I'm going to agree with Milo on this one. Somewhere along the line she has associated a loving relationship with being dominated, and/or being inferior to your partner. You mention that her parents are very open and will discuss sex when you are around......which means that you find that unusual. (I do too, especially at such a young age) Since people tend to think that what they grew up seeing is how it is "supposed to be", more or less, then there may be some darker things going on in her life.

Then again, as was mentioned earlier, you're not at the point where you'd be seriously considering making anyone your wife, so just enjoy it while it's happening, but don't think that this is something that everyone will do for you.

My parents were very open from age 14. They left Penthouse Forum around (25 years ago when it wasn't just a jerk mag) & encouraged us to ask questions. In high school my & my brother's friends would come around & 'fall' into conversations. After I joined the army my G.F. & my brother's G.F. would go over every Friday night & do the Forum-discussion thing. They called it Kink night. & no there was nothing funny going on. My wife & I have always had a healthy relationship, in & out of bed. Open discussion.

My situation started somewhat like yours and ended up just like PBR a women who lives for herself and her fantasies. I fell in love with her and now that i look back at it worst thing i could have done. Im not saying that this is your situation but these type of girls are good to use and abuse then get rid of them. These are not the girls you want to be marrying i sure as hell wouldnt be able to trust a girl after she told me she was fantasizing about getting fucked by you and your friends. How about the day you go out of town she will come up with the idea of FANTISIZING ON HOW IT WOULD BE LIKE TO HAVE SEX WITH A GAY MAN aka her "Friend" man really think about this! Take care just my .02
'Flex'.

Not sure about the whole humiliation thing. Doesn't do it for us. But my wife & I started talking about fantasies when she was 15 & I was 17. We even acted on some before we were married. Some fantasies involved orgies, gang bangs (her & I). These were never acted on. Wrong chemistry with friends etc.