Question about sex drive

[naughtynurse]

Have any of you ever experienced NO sex drive? I've had this prob for almost a year now, and the hubby obviously is getting a little irate, lol. I used to be little less then a nymph, and now the thought of doing it sounds like the most unappealing chore and literally have to force myself to get it done at least once a month. I've been to the doctor and all she tells me is to "give myself time". I've tried everything, and the more time passes the worse it is. Have any of you experienced this? The only time i can talk myself into doing it is after a couple drinks and even then it takes a lot of motivation.

 

[Sassy69]

Have you gone through any big physical or emotional events at any point that would've changed things? Otherwise, have you tried cialis or could your doc check your test levels or just ask her to prescribe some topical stuff to kick it up a little?

I mean sex generally takes two things - 1) the sex drive and 2) being in a good mental / spiritual / emotional place w/ your self & your partner. If one of those is out of whack, its hard to force it. I probably didn't help much, but that's my generic response.

 

[jenscats5]

Has your husband "done" anything to you, maybe without realizing it?? Say, did he say something mean or hurt your feelings in any way?? Possibly there is a strain on your relationship and maybe he isn't nurturing you in the way you need or is maybe invalidating your feelings in some way??

I know that when my hubby does that, I build up an internal resentment that will cause my sex drive to greatly deflate.

 

[Daisy_]

awww dont worry, Its normal. I sometimes dont have the sex drive I should have either. Like your doc said it will probably take time...

 

[Daisy_Girl]

Also, are you on any medication? Or recently change medications?

Are there any big life changes recently that have occurred? (big moves, deaths, illness, fights, etc)

New job? Or new responsibilities?

If stress or life changes is not the cause, then I DO NOT recommend just "waiting it out". Yes, people go through ups and downs, but something that is SO important, and obviously impacting yolur happiness and your husband NEEDS to be resolved.

This is a very real problem. And I think it is bullshit that doctors tend to think that women's problems are "all in their heads".

Demand you get a blood test to test for testosterone, estrogen, and thyroid levels. If anything is out of whack, then DEMAND that you be given something to help you. If you have low test, you can get a mild topical cream that can help. If your thyroid is low/high, you can get med for that too - to help balance things out.

If this doctor will not do the blood test, then go see someone else. Ask to be referred to an Endodrinologist. The Endo has experience with hormone levels in the body - they are better than a GP (and even an OB/GYN) for diagnosing these problems.

 

[Lady Viking]

Also, are you on any medication? Or recently change medications?

birth control pills can do that too, been there

 

[Raina]

The ladies here have said everything I wanted to say! My old BC pills almost completely killed my sex drive. Plus they made me a bitch. That combo in and of itself was like birth control.

Or if you're stressed about work, family, money, anything it seems to end up in the bedroom a lot of the time. Maybe that's how our minds work? At least for me, my mind never shuts up and it's not sexy to be worrying about finances in bed.

You're certainly not alone though. See another Dr if things persist. They shouldn't minimize your problem and say you should hope it goes away.

 

[BUBBLES]

try a lot of relaxation and visual aids to stimulate you

 

[Jade19]

I mean sex generally takes two things - 1) the sex drive and 2) being in a good mental / spiritual / emotional place w/ your self & your partner If one of those is out of whack, its hard to force it. I probably didn't help much, but that's my generic response.

I was listening to a therapist radio show, a couple who has been married for 9 years called in, the husband said he just found out his wife lied, shes never had an orgasm, EVER! Then had asked him to bring another woman into the bedroom. He didn't want it, thought it would destroy the marriage. The wife sat and bitched about her depression problems and how everything in her life is going wrong to the therapist. Deeper in the convo find out shes on all these depression pills on and off for years. (been on some of those, wouldnt go there again) Therapist said something that can kinda make you think....

Told the woman maybe shes been so pre-occupied with being unhappy and oh poor me, it could be a huge reason why shes never had an orgasm, she pushes away happiness, which we all know an orgasm is....

 

[Gymgurl]

Just remeber if there are no phyical reasons....sex is almost all mental.....age plays a part too on ways