biteme said:
Yeah. They lie their butts off and I know it. She wants a job, so I'm gonna help her find one and try to keep her occupied as much as possible. At that age they want control, but we can't give it to them because they are not able to make good choices ( Usually). If I let go, I'm afraid she'll fall too far. If I fight and try to stop her from doing the things that many grown people do, she resents me, but I feel I must do it. Now, I know how my parents felt.
All kids are different, so you have to take any advice here with a grain of salt.
This is all about her changing & learning to be an adult. There are some decisions you'll have to let her make, so she can learn from them. Feel pride in a good decision, which you will praise her for. & feel the consequences of a bad decision, which you may or may not point out, but won't ride her about.
My wife bore the brunt of those years, because most of the problems were truancy, & I had already left for work. I was almost always behind the curve on those situations. My wife lamented through those times, that she wanted a better relationship than she had with her mother. Well, now she's getting it. As time passes, my daughter is actually becoming a normal young adult.
It is a struggle & you will cry yourself to sleep, & so will she. But, be patient, have strength, a don't forget your love, because that will be threatened. The cute little girl you knew is gone. You'll see little glimpses of her, now & then, but a lot of it will fade. Some of it will come back when she is through this. This new one in her place has the manners of a bodybuilder in an underground lab, & the disposition of a cat with ringworm.
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