New Attitude

[Lee]

Today I realized some very important thing while I was in school. I realized that me being so nice, treating everyone with tons of respect, and being an all around jolly guy, has gotten me absolutely fucking nowhere. People treat me like shit, probably because they are jealous. I have very few good friends, but they are very good friends. I don't stay close to aquantances because they are quick to backstab to get something they want. So as of today, I decided to stop being the big jolly kid who moves for the smaller kids in the hallway, from now on, I'll give respect when it's earned, and if you try to insult me, you will regret it. I'm also starting my bulking diet today, which I'm hoping will go well.

Here comes a monster, be prepared.



just needed to vent that.

 

[Scotsman]

I always treat people in the manner they treat me. Especially in the gym, if they respect me I am nice if not stay out of my way. The new attitude will help you tremendously with working out as it is for you and no one else.

Cheers,
Scotsman

 

[louden_swain]

ah. . .continue to be a person and don't let others bother you. . .when its all said and done, you will get the last laugh.

those who have no respect or are constantly picking on other people are nothing but bonefide losers.

In the meantime, transform yourself into a freaky haas!

 

[Lee]

oh ill still be a respectful person, but when someone treats me poorly, they will regret it.

and i will be one freaky huge bastard

 

[Citruscide]

Lee -- I like your approach. Try this one. Be concerned with yourself... always do what is best for you. Respect those that respect you... show respect to women (no cursing, open doors), and make yourself the best person you can be.

If people are jealous... let them be. But don't bring yourself down any notches because of them.

Be yourself, be the man...

C-ditty

 

[Zander1983]

Lee -- I like your approach. Try this one. Be concerned with yourself... always do what is best for you. Respect those that respect you... show respect to women (no cursing, open doors), and make yourself the best person you can be.

If people are jealous... let them be. But don't bring yourself down any notches because of them.

Be yourself, be the man...

C-ditty

I like.

 

[louden_swain]

my best friend, she is an awesome girl and i treat her like an angel, too bad we cant go out

Why not?

 

[Lee]

thx for the advice c, i am very kind to women. especially my best friend, she is an awesome girl and i treat her like an angel, too bad we cant go out

 

[Zander1983]

thx for the advice c, i am very kind to women. especially my best friend, she is an awesome girl and i treat her like an angel, too bad we cant go out

NEVER stop doing so. She probably deserves to be treated like an angel. I treated my best friend (female) very poorly when we were friends, and it is one of the biggest regrets of my life. I was going through a lot of very hard times, but there are NO excuses. Somehow, we're now together and hopefully will never be apart. I'm one lucky fucker.

 

[Lee]

its a long story, but its basically because we are too good of friends and dont wanna compromise it. i really hope we date sometime though, shes the only person ive ever felt love for.

 

[Zander1983]

its a long story, but its basically because we are too good of friends and dont wanna compromise it. i really hope we date sometime though, shes the only person ive ever felt love for.

I'm going to send you a PM when I get back home from Uni, because my girl was in exactly the same situation you are.

 

[Lee]

sounds good man. another reason is that we are both moving after high school graduation, so we'll be seperated for like 3 or 4 months, then if all goes as planned, ill be moving to california to where she will be staying.

 

[louden_swain]

sounds good man. another reason is that we are both moving after high school graduation, so we'll be seperated for like 3 or 4 months, then if all goes as planned, ill be moving to california to where she will be staying.

I hope things work out for you. This sounds like a great opportunity and maybe something serious can emerge from this.

 

[DrBones]

thx for the advice c, i am very kind to women. especially my best friend, she is an awesome girl and i treat her like an angel, too bad we cant go out

Not to rain on your parade, but I had the EXACT same situation when I was in high school, I thought I was so incredibly in love with this girl, who was my best girl friend.. we were such good friends to the point we actually told each other we loved each other... The furthest things ever went was we kissed.... We are still friends today, but there is not a chance in hell I would ever want to be with her now.... We are just completely different people... thats the shitty part about people you know in high school, and say 5 years later. Some of the rowdiest kids can become the calmest nicest people, and some of the nicest people, while they may stay nice, might venture in a completely opposite direction from where you are standing. I never had a girlfriend all through my grade 12 year because I was so infatuated with this girl.... If it is meant to be it will happen eventually... don't sit and waste your time waiting... I made that mistake with my most recent gf of over 2 years when we broke up... I wouldn't let myself get emotionally involved with any girls because In the back of my head I was waiting to be with her....

Basically what Im getting at, is test the waters, see other girls, if things are meant to be between the two of you, it will happen in the future when you are least expecting it... don't put too much pressure on her either or things could backfire on you bud... just trying to let you know what I've gone through and try to prevent you from following in the same footsteps... if you wanna talk about it PM me.... You sound a lot like me, and sound like you have a lot of traits that I pocess/did pocess... we can yack about it if you want...

Keep being a good person bro....

 

[Lee]

thats interesting DrBones, cuz i was starting to feel kinda odd about the whole situation with her. i got to thinking, and if she truly did want to be with me, we would be going out, regardless. i really gotta think about this whole thing, cuz its been buggin me for a while.

 

[louden_swain]

Bones,

I also had a similar situation!! The thing is we still keep in touch even though we live 150 miles apart. Who knows what will happen. . .how do you handle situations like that


Anyway keep training hard Lee!!

 

[Lee]

goin to the gym in 15 mins, biceps and backs are gona get an ass whoopin today!

 

[DrBones]

how do you handle situations like that

Its funny... its almost like i liked the feeling of wanting her so badly... when it started to fade I wanted it to come back.. it was like mystery butterflies.... The thing that really killed it for me with her was we got in a fight, I was always there for her... if i was out and she paged me in the middle of the night upset, I would abandon all my friends and go home and listen to her cry for 2 hours. I watched her go through around 3-4 boyfriends and all I desperately wanted was to be one of them. We even talked about being together one day...
Anyways, my dad was going in for surgery one day and I told her I was worried about him... her friend had also just finished getting surgery... she flipped out on me and told me I was selfish and never listened to her and only talked about myself.... when the truth was I called her and listened to all her problems probably at least 4 times a week and never mentioned a peep of the negative things going on around me...
Just like you louden, she lived almost 250 miles away... which made things even harder. She now lives here and I talk to her probably once a month and I will probably always be friends with her but I see no real potential for us ever becoming anything more than friends..... We have a few other problems after this initial one which was just the icing on the cake which completely turned me away from her and actually made me wonder what I ever saw in her... I met her when I was 17 and the dreams were crushed by mid 19.

On a more recent note, I broke up with my ex-gf of 2.5 years, 7 ago in may. I tried going back to her about a week after the breakup and she said no.... I then basically lived depressed and unhappy for a long time and never let any girl have the time of day(I would abandon every girl within 2 weeks of dating them). To tell you the truth I still think about her at least 10 times a day and how we will most likely never have any more moments like the ones i have in my memory. Its funny, because I wrote her some letters post breakup and they were all ass kissing letters sayin i miss you and all this garbage.... whats funny is that I dug out a box full of letters a few weeks ago that girls have given me and ones i never wound up sending out over the course of the last 6-7 years(im 22, same birthday as you i think louden..) and they sound exactly how the most recent letters I've sent.... you know what that means? Its not impossible for me to get over someone who you think is the only person for you in the world.

You know what you have to do to get around it? Focus on something so hard.... im talking SO HARD 110%... that you dont have time to think about her/it. Every time I think about how I miss her..... I think to myself... GET BIGGER, GET RIPPED..(this can conflict.. bulking/cutting.. lol) but its WAY better than sitting by yourself or driving by yourself contemplating what could/should have happened.

My biggest thing is missing memories.. and thinking no new ones will ever transpire..... and this makes me terribly sad... and who knows.. maybe one day I will wind up back with my ex.... but in the time being, I have to tell myself that there is no point in hoping or waiting, and getting on with my life... because that day may never come. Find another person, who you can dump all your energy into... get into a relationship with them and treat them like your angel, don't treat them lesser because of your aspirations to be with another person... its unfair.... In a matter of no time the other girl will be gone from your head and you two can stick to being good buddies.

I hope all this helped

 

[louden_swain]

Bones interesting story. . .a good read.

 

[Lee]

very interesting bones. thats pretty much how i am with this girl. im still a virgin *blush* at 17, and ive skipped out 3 chances of having sex since i fell for this girl all in the hopes of losing it to someone i reall love and care about. i think the world of this girl and would never hesitate to try to help her if she were in trouble. she means everything to mean, and it kills me that the memories will be all i have of her in a few years, cuz i really dont know whats gonna happen between us from here on out. we graduate from high school together on may 28th, and from there she is going to visit her sister in texas for a while, then most likely end up living with her other sister in cali. meanwhile ill most likely be moving to seattle to live with my brother. even though we both agreed that i could move down to cali with her after a few months when i have some money, she could always find a new guy who flat out tells her i can go, or somethin else like that. its the future that scares me more than anything.

 

[slobberknocker]

I don't think there's ever a reason not to be nice to people. Just because you're big, doesn't give you the right to be rude. In fact, once you get big you have almost an obligation to go out of your way to be a good person. Consider yourself a spokesman for weight training, and don't let people get the wrong impression of the sport, because it gives the rest of us a bad name. Please.

 

[Lee]

I'm not saying I have a right to be mean cause I'm big. I'm saying people don't have a right to treat me like shit when I'm nice 99% of the time. From now on, if people decide to be a prick to me, they'll get what they deserve. I'll never start it though, I'm not that type of person.

 

[argent]

its a long story, but its basically because we are too good of friends and dont wanna compromise it. i really hope we date sometime though, shes the only person ive ever felt love for.

I started dating my long time close friend who is a girl, and we've been together for 3 years and haven't been happier. You should pursue it.


I like your new approach to some extent, but like c-ditty said worry about yourself first. Don't get such a chip on your shoulder you don't treat anyone with respect.

 

[Lee]

I wouldn't get a chip on my shoulder like that, I'm too nice naturally for that too happen. I'm just sick of being people's whipping boy.

 

[Lee]

thx for all the advice everyone. this board helps me so much.

 

[Citruscide]

thx for all the advice everyone. this board helps me so much.

Yup. And you thought training was only about the gym.

C-ditty

 

[Lee]

Hehe, used to think that, now I know it's just as much about time spent outside the gym as time spent in.

 

[b fold the truth]

Today I realized some very important thing while I was in school. I realized that me being so nice, treating everyone with tons of respect, and being an all around jolly guy, has gotten me absolutely fucking nowhere.

I hope that you change your mind. Kindness spreads kindness. A smile causes a smile.

I really doubt that it has gotten you nowhere...you are a better person for being nice, treating others with respect, and being a jolly guy. Never forget that...and never stop being honest to the person that you are inside.

I believe that if everyone took the attitude on life that you have had...we would live in a much better world.

B True

 

[Lee]

wow Bfold, thats one of the nicest things anyone has ever said to me. i really dont know what to say, but thank you.

 

[SAGAT]

lee, i was in almost the exact same situation when i was your age, and recently as well. i mean the mindset you have right now, the shit with the close lady friend, the whole deal.
let me tell you that you WILL get over this girl if it doesn't work out. trust me. especially if you're going to live that far apart. it will make things easier. also i know what you're talking about with being the nice guy, people treating you like shit...etc.that works for some people, but not for others. i think c-ditty gave you some good advice. always look out for number one; yourself.
and about the girl; it sucks, but sometimes you just have to grit your teeth and move on.

 

[Lee]

this is all some very good advice, i thought about everything for an hour in bed last night. im still pretty confused on what to do. im gonna try to tell her everything today, she already knows how i feel about her, and i know how she feels about me, but theres more stuff she should know.

 

[Thaibox]

I really wanted to respond to this when you originally posted it, but I couldn't access the boards for a few days.

Anyway, read this...

I'm 28 now. Since high school, if anyone ever asked me if I'd ever really been in love, I said "the closest I ever came was a good friend of mine in high school, but we were too good of friends... and she got engaged shortly after high school anyway."

I've been in my share of relationships since high school, and no matter how good they were, I would think about this girl from high school all the time. We sort of kept in touch over the years. I got a letter from her about 5 years ago saying that she was no longer getting married. I went to see her, and I was the friend to be there for her, so I was not going to disrespect her by going beyond that during that time. It killed me not to tell her how I felt. A few years went by that we didn't talk. I figured that was it and I wasn't going to see her again. We went our own ways.

1 1/2 years ago I was about to take a job overseas that would have been HIGHLY profitable, but very very risky. The day before I had to give my final decision on taking the job, I got a letter from her(after not hearing from her for years). I didn't take the job because of the letter.

To get to the point...we're engaged now, and will be moving to AZ together in about a week.

12 years after meeting her...and many many years of thinking about her, it was clearly meant to be...so it is.

Never lose hope on things like this. Shit works in strange ways bro

 

[DrBones]

Wow thai...
Thats an amazing story.... I hope one day things work out like that for me in the end

 

[Smurfy]

Lee PROPS to you for actually putting thought into your first ever sexual experience! You're a smart guy. Most young guys just jump at the chance to have sex, and end up regretting it. You'll appreciate your being more careful and thoughtful about it as you get older. And thus your first experience wll be awesome (most of us cant exavtly say the first time was well thought out or even good for that matter!)

 

[ghee]

It's probably unnecessary, but I'll back up everyone who says go for this girl if you're really that good of friends. I made the mistake of not going for a woman I was great friends with in university, and I've been regretting it ever since. It's tough to find that!

Great story, Thai.

 

[Lee]

man Thai, thats an awesome story. im glad to hear that you guys are together though, thats freakin awesome. after graduation me and her are moving to seperate states temporarily, me to washington and her to cali. but after a few months im going to move to cali to live with her. only reason im going to washington first is cuz my brother lives there and i can stay with him for a few weeks, then get a small cheap place for a few months by myself and save some money to move to cali.

 

[andezzz999]

You guys are 17 - 18. Man you shouldn't be chasing one girl at your age, especially if shes playing for a friend. You guys need to experience lots of women, how do you know what you like in a women if you select one and put her on a pedasal. You need to drink a lot of wine before you know which one you like. Hell, if she is the one, seeing other girls will kick her ass into gear if there is anything between the two of you. Do you know how many girls I had as "friends" that started showing interst as soon as i started dating? That is what makes women attracted to you. They see that other women want you... that's desirable. Believe it or not, it is more of a draw then a monster body (but you might as well cover your bets and still hit the gym).

I don't understand you young guys....Get some action out there, what are you trying to do get married tomorrow? Enjoy life, enjoy women, then after many years of careful evaluations, and experience, then select the best damn "one" and make her your wife.

I'm done, now I have to go work Back and Biceps hard.