Morons at the gym (the official thread)...

[*Bunny*]

I knew you ladies were moving in slow motion in the locker room, just like on bay watch... lots of bouncing, lathering each other up with soap... all in slow motion. NICE!

With puffy loofah's full of Herbal Essence commercial moans & everything ... dead on lol

Women's locker room fantasies officially over.

LOL ...

 

[Sassy69]

if all this goes on in the mens locker room...I wonder what goes on in the womans locker room? ladies...speek up about your funny, disgusting, or erotic experiences...spare no detail

The biggest issue I have w/ showers & lockers at a gym is the chance for fungal infection. That's pretty nasty to think about.

As far as real "action" -- at my last gym there were these two middle age dumpy lesbian women who would go into the handicapped shower (the big one w/ a seat) and spend like 45 min in there.

Mostly women just go about their biz, dont' look at anyone.

 

[Sassy69]

Had a couple classic "morons" moments at my gym last nite...

1) Decent shaped dude who doesn't lift often -- in there doing ez bar curls and swinging on each rep - I think his hip flexors got more workout than the ol' bis.

2) Young guy & g/f on the squat rack - he's show her how to use the bar for upright rows -- nice, slow, tight, he's holding her back straight, supporting the arms when needed. Then he takes the bar, starts snapping it up and back real fast for his own reps. That's tendonitis waiting to happen.

 

[jayseven]

Haha awesome thread.

Heres a story for everyones entertainment.

So I frequent my college gym so I see all the retards, but this loser put the cherry on the retard cake.
So I'm in the middle of my first set of bench, I'm with a buddy and all of a sudden I notice that theres some sort of gooey shit on my bar, firstly I think its some sweaty dudes run off so I disregard it and finish up my reps. When I get up I look at my hands and theres somesort of clear nasty love juice all over my hands and the bar. I look and my friend to see if its some sort of pratical joke but he's as freaked out as I. So we say f-that bench and move over to the next. As we are setting up the next bar we hear some guy swearing and he's pissed off. He's staring at his hands and hes on the upright rowing machine across from us- hes got the love juice all over his hands too.

Anyways the just of the just is- some idiot thought he had to use vasoline on his hands before every set of every exercise- there was vasoline on at least 10 machines. They cought the guy, he was wearing spandex and looked like some 80's version of prince. Needless so say he didnt walk out of the gym and I washed my hands with bleach.

Anyways that was the biggest moron I have ever seen.

 

[vansmack2000]

Today i saw the living version of Seinfeld with Izzy Mandelbaum, the old man and 3 younger guys doing the bench. He was wearing all sweats, telling these 3 guys they needed to toughen up, go to the gym more, and then yelling "push it, push it" on every rep. Then on his turn he gets all pumped up across the room, runs over tells them to add weight, barely gets the bar up once and says thats how it done boys!

it was classic

 

[alex2678]

Today i saw the living version of Seinfeld with Izzy Mandelbaum, the old man and 3 younger guys doing the bench. He was wearing all sweats, telling these 3 guys they needed to toughen up, go to the gym more, and then yelling "push it, push it" on every rep. Then on his turn he gets all pumped up across the room, runs over tells them to add weight, barely gets the bar up once and says thats how it done boys!

it was classic

Did he throw out his back too?

 

[Sassy69]

Haha awesome thread.

Heres a story for everyones entertainment.

So I frequent my college gym so I see all the retards, but this loser put the cherry on the retard cake.
So I'm in the middle of my first set of bench, I'm with a buddy and all of a sudden I notice that theres some sort of gooey shit on my bar, firstly I think its some sweaty dudes run off so I disregard it and finish up my reps. When I get up I look at my hands and theres somesort of clear nasty love juice all over my hands and the bar. I look and my friend to see if its some sort of pratical joke but he's as freaked out as I. So we say f-that bench and move over to the next. As we are setting up the next bar we hear some guy swearing and he's pissed off. He's staring at his hands and hes on the upright rowing machine across from us- hes got the love juice all over his hands too.

Anyways the just of the just is- some idiot thought he had to use vasoline on his hands before every set of every exercise- there was vasoline on at least 10 machines. They cought the guy, he was wearing spandex and looked like some 80's version of prince. Needless so say he didnt walk out of the gym and I washed my hands with bleach.

Anyways that was the biggest moron I have ever seen.

That sort of reminds me of the scene from "Striptease" where Burt Reynolds plays the dirty old congressman who is all covered in vaseline and says he puts it in his boots too because he likes the squishy feeling between his toes.

 

[liegelord]

I think the vasoline guy is the bigget moron so far.

Anyway, last night I had to wait for the power racks, one was being used for half squats and the other was being used by 2 guys doing ABS. They placed a mat on the floor inside the rack and were doing abs. It's not bad enough half the "gym" floor is dedicated to abs, but to use the power rack too?

 

[HiDnGoD]

I seriously just choked on my chicken

I was chokin my chicken on that too.

This wasn't in the gym, but. I ride my bike for an hour or so, for cardio, so I push it pretty hard, when I can. I ride on bike paths & city streets. The other day I'm riding down a bike path & I pass a guy that just entered the path, on his bike. I'm at cruising speed & he catches up to me & passes me. I'm thinkin, no big deal, he's about 20 & in better shape than I. After he's about 20 ft in front of me, he slows down a little, so I catch up. I use my bell when I pass, so as I approach him I ring it & when he hears my ring he takes off again. He does this several times, but the problem is there are other people on the path. Cyclists, roller bladers, pedestrians, Mom's with carriages, etc. So when we keep doing this, he's interfering with others, and slowing me down, because sometimes I have to slow down to keep from hitting him, or the others, ruining my cadence. So, next chance I get, I pour it on & blaze past him without ringing. He's surprised & tries to catch up, but then we get to his turn off & he falls off his bike, because he tries to take the turn too fast.
Idiot.

 

[xblitz44x]

Yesterday was my heavy squat day. I was getting ready to attempt a PR 5-rep squat. I paced back and forth with my adrenaline going, trying to get focused. I visualized completing each rep. My hands were shaking with anticipation. I was ready...

Just then I happened to glance up and saw three skinny kids all lifting their shirts together to look at their abs in the mirror. Crunching their abs from side to side, they grab-assed and giggled like a bunch of school girls. I wanted to hurl a plate across the gym at them.