Morons at the gym (the official thread)...

[heliosorion]

How about the orange Oompa Loompa looking Guido with 5 shirts on under his hoodie who spends the first half of his workout yappin' to his fellow goons a about the gear he almost scored and drinking a protein shake. When he's finally ready to throw down with the iron, he jumps on the bike for 10 minutes with an iPod earphone in one ear and a cellphone in the other, slowly peddlin' and yappin' into the phone about all the ass he's gonna get at the club that night ( because he's freakin' huge and ripped). When he's finally done ridin' in his mind the equivalent of the
Tour de France on the LifeCycle, he rips off the hoodie revealing an oversized thermal shirt and runs right for the bench. He throws on 225 for his warm up and goes to work proceeding to bust out 8 fast reps (no form and barely quarter reps, the last 2 of which he barely makes). When he's done, he jumPs up and immediately starts flexin' and posin' his pecs. About 5 minutes later he's ready to attack again, throwing another 45 on each side (of course looking around the gym the wh

 

[heliosorion]

Whole time to make sure all are witnessing his greatness. With weight in place he's ready for battle. He catches eyes with the quiet newbie doing curls in the corner and demands a spot. Not wanting any trouble, the kid obliges. Oompa Loompa slides under the bar writhing and breathing the whole time like he's goin' into labor. He arches his back and slams his feet up and down on the floor while instructing the poor kid on the finer points of spotting (all wrong of course). At last he's ready. With a count of three the bar goes poppin' off the rack (mostly due to the kids 200lb upright row) and our friend goes to work. Immediately the weight drops onto his chest and the newbie goes in to help. Oompa dismisses him with a grunt. He weighed and pushes until the weight makes it three quarters up then demands newbie's help. At this point the whole gym is watching not in amazement but horror at what's unfolding before them. In the silence Oompa cuts a fart while straining further adding to the comedy. It ends when the weight at last makes up onto the rack. Oompa jumps up now orange and purple with glassy eyes and admonishes the newbie for what he believes is a poor spot bnow Oompa sheds another layer now revealing an MMA t shirt from which his bloated tattooed forearms (shaved of course) stick. He starts his between set ritual once again of posing and strutting. He repeats the show 3 more times before wrapping up (his max was 335- all spotter) and grabbing another shake, stripping down to a string tank top (more dopey tattoos and zits) posing then leaving (again while on his cell phone). What a tool! Unfortunately their are more and more in the gym every week. That's why I finally gave up and invested in a fully stocked home gym. Very sad state for our sport and hobby.

 

[brownbrown]

Good post. Lol really dramatic

Droid Bionic EF app

 

[heliosorion]

Thx. It's sad to say they're everywhere now.

 

[Foxxxy]

Thx. It's sad to say they're everywhere now.

Lmfao your post above was the best thing iv ever read! share more!

 

[StevenM23]

Gotta say I love this thread , Gave me some laughs all day haha,

So today I m doing my benching and I look over to my left and see the three teens who are always at my gym flexing away and shadow boxing , one guy sits down , the other 2 each grab the 40 pound dumbbells for him , he does about 5 reps and I see his right arm start to give out, his right man spotter was looking the other way , the weight fell behind him nearly landing on this dudes foot ,

 

[pendit]

The other day i'm at the gym and theres a group of 4 high school kids. one is talking to the others how he squatted 405 the other day and today he is going higher. looking at how skinny he is, I thought there was no way he could squat that much weight. sure enough, i watch them load up 405 with two guys spotting, he unracks doesn't even go a quarter of a way down, seriously there is barely a bend in his knee, and then stands upright. his friends start yelling how he owned that and they start to load more weight. I was finished with my workout and couldn't listen to anymore so i left.

Back in college, there was a dude that was always at the university gym. He was bragging about how much he could squat. One day, I happened to be in the gym while he was at the squat rack. I can't remember how much was on the bar, but it looked to be WAY TOO MUCH for his size. Curious, I sat and watched as he got under the bar, walked it out and proceed to bend his knees about 3 degrees. I'm not sure if the bar even moved up and down. He does a few more slight knee bends and racks the bar. Spends the next 5 minutes strutting around like he has 40" quads.

One day, I run into him at the dorm. He starts telling me how he was doing squats and his knee gave out and the bar and shit went everywhere. I tried to contain my laughter. What I would have done to see that.

After I got my new job, I found a large gym right between work and home. I literally drive right by it. "PERFECT!" I think as I have images of hitting the gym after work each day. I go in and get a 7 day trial pass. After a short (and rude) tour by one of the trainers, I head over to the free weights. I see a short Asian kid that probably isn't much more than 120lbs wearing an oversized shirt with the elongated holes where the sleeves would be. He struts around and then loads up the bar on the flat bench. Barely moves the bar up and down, gets up and starts flexing....

I warm up and decide that I should get a spot. Everywhere I turn, someone has earbuds in, staring into space. Not a very friendly place I see. I do a few sets and leave. The next week, I bought a bench, bar, tree, various plates and dumbbells up to 90lbs. Fuck the gym

 

[StevenM23]

C'mon people lets get this going again !!!
Today was hilarious , had the skinny dude in wife beater with chain and bracelet on flexing in mirror and doing endless curls .. Had the squat rack curlers taking up space for 30 minutes !! I just asked if I could do squats on the SQUAT rack.. He left right after hahah

 

[Mike3600]

Today after reading about twenty pages of the thread I went to the gym and got to work out next to orgasm lady. Every rep was accompanied with a moan that sounded like she was further on her way to climaxing and the last rep of each set sounded to me like she was about to roll over and light a cigarette. She also was wearing A LOT of perfume making it difficult to breathe properly when doing my workout.

 

[csk1969]

It's funny after reading through this thread how much you start to notice everday your in the gym. Mike3600, i had the exact same experience last week with a woman working out near me and all i could smell was her perfume. why lather on the perfume before working out? a few other things Ive seen in the last couple of weeks:

2 skinny guys in the gym for the hour i was there doing nothing but bicep curls (barbell, dumbell, preacher and cable)

A guy using the smith machine with the collars on the bar (maybe there is something i dont know)

A guy doing 2 bench press half reps with 315 and a spotter, then moving up to 405 with two spotters and a quarter rep and claiming with excitement that it was the first time he got 405

A guy giving a lesson to his friend on why you should never do a bench press moving you arms lower then a 90 degree angle because you will blow out your shoulder