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Married people..How often do you get sex?

crimson coal

New member
Married people and long termed relationship people..How often do you get to enjoy sex with your partner? How long in between sessions do you think is to long? Just wondering if I am sex starved or wanting it to much. Been married 11 years and want it alot more often then the wife wants to give. It's Starting to bother me.
 
My guess is that half of them get sex twice as less as they should and the other half get twice as much as they deserve...

C
 
I was with my ex for about 12 years and barring pregnancy (my drive was just not there) he would turn me down more often than I him.

I think that I told him no like maybe twice.

This phenomenon never ceases to amaze me. Women want to fuck like rabbits until they "got" you then it is all downhill from there.

I was talking to a guy at the gym about this.

I really feel bad for you guys when it comes to this.
 
bikinimom said:
I was with my ex for about 12 years and barring pregnancy (my drive was just not there) he would turn me down more often than I him.

I think that I told him no like maybe twice.

This phenomenon never ceases to amaze me. Women want to fuck like rabbits until they "got" you then it is all downhill from there.

I was talking to a guy at the gym about this.

I really feel bad for you guys when it comes to this.

Do you feel bad enough to help me do something about it. I'll PM you my address
 
Because fellow EF women have answered :)....

I've been married for 11 years and for us it's 3 or 4 times a day, but it wasn't always like this. Maybe that's why I am not grumpy. :D Seriously, though, before it was difficult to be in the mood with lots of chores etc on my mind way back when..you men gotta do your share or we'll be too tired to do anything with you. lol :D
 
BeastBoy....It's ME always bitching during the "off" week..lol How do you explain the calendar if mom and pop visit and see the chart of love? What does she write? lol
 
vixenbabe said:
BeastBoy....It's ME always bitching during the "off" week..lol How do you explain the calendar if mom and pop visit and see the chart of love? What does she write? lol

My parents are pretty young still....45, so they just kind of act like WODIN and Sofa.

Very open with parents.....I get an "Oh Geesh" from mom and a laugh from dad. She just puts smilely faces.....
 
I get it once every 7-10 days. BM is soooooooo right- for the first 2 years we had sex 3-4X per week or more. After that it's all downhill. Sadly she's turned into a complete prude too.
 
HUGHJORGEN said:
I get it once every 7-10 days. BM is soooooooo right- for the first 2 years we had sex 3-4X per week or more. After that it's all downhill. Sadly she's turned into a complete prude too.
u r not alone...........my broly's wife went from nympho to nothing after the second shld was born.

she has informed him, in front of reliable witnesses, now that the kids are born, that she is done with "bedroom activities".

poor guy!!!!!!!:(
 
rnch said:
u r not alone...........my broly's wife went from nympho to nothing after the second shld was born.

she has informed him, in front of reliable witnesses, now that the kids are born, that she is done with "bedroom activities".

poor guy!!!!!!!:(

That would be the end of that marriage too!
 
most of the time, its a daily event, sometimes more than once a day. the most we ever go without is one to two days. we've been together almost 11 years, and we're getting our second wind so to speak. there was a perioud of time a few years ago that it wasn't so often though.
 
Married 14 years. There was a period of time after our daughter was born and I was really out of shape (a couple of years), depressed and on prozac when sex was almost nonexistent. Looking back on it I wouldn't blame him if he found it somewhere else. Now it is at least daily and if not it is because we are both just really tired.
 
beastboy said:


That would be the end of that marriage too!

I second that, either that or cheat like a motherfucker.

It total bullshit when women do this, most of my friends are around 26(my age) and got married in their early 20's.

Now the only sex they get(most of the time) is when they cheat on their wives. Fuck that shit.:mad:
 
The "significant other" just "popped the question last weekend.....



this thread is giving me a good reason to answer no... :worried:
 
rnch said:
u r not alone...........my broly's wife went from nympho to nothing after the second shld was born.

she has informed him, in front of reliable witnesses, now that the kids are born, that she is done with "bedroom activities".

poor guy!!!!!!!:(

One of my friend's wife said the exact same thing to him, actually her exact words were"I don't have a need for sex anymore".

He's one of the most miserible people I know.
 
toga22 said:
The "significant other" just "popped the question last weekend.....



this thread is giving me a good reason to answer no... :worried:

Congrats.....but he is a male, there should be no decrease on his part....
 
toga22 said:
The "significant other" just "popped the question last weekend.....



this thread is giving me a good reason to answer no... :worried:

Congrats. Don't worry about him. I'm sure he's not going to tell you that he doesn't want sex anymore. If he does than he's not a real man.
 
rnch said:
u r not alone...........my broly's wife went from nympho to nothing after the second shld was born.

she has informed him, in front of reliable witnesses, now that the kids are born, that she is done with "bedroom activities".

poor guy!!!!!!!:(

Yup, kids and other responsibilities..the ultimate birth control. :(
 
crimson coal said:
Married people and long termed relationship people..How often do you get to enjoy sex with your partner? How long in between sessions do you think is to long?

Over 13 years we've probably averaged 3/4 times a week. If we go more than 3 days without making love then there is tension.
 
Damn... that sucks. Sex is so vital to any relationship... women just stop giving it out after they know they have you... hm... so... if a woman never thinks she really HAS me... then I'll get sex all the time!! Sweet idea Bikini... from now on, I'll constantly be a challange for these dames... even when serious, I'll be chatting with other hotties, making her think her seat is constantly on edge

GENTLEMEN... WE HAVE A GAMEPLAN!! :)

C
 
Re: Re: Married people..How often do you get sex?

ttlpkg said:


Over 13 years we've probably averaged 3/4 times a week. If we go more than 3 days without making love then there is tension.
only THREE QUARTERS of a time? wattsamatta, someone can't go the distance anymore?:p






(j/k, dude!)
 
17 years. I get funest form of cardio 3 or 4 times a week. Since I am off cycle now maybe one more time would be optimum. During cycle once every three hours I would need it.
 
Citruscide said:
Damn... that sucks. Sex is so vital to any relationship... women just stop giving it out after they know they have you... hm... so... if a woman never thinks she really HAS me... then I'll get sex all the time!! Sweet idea Bikini... from now on, I'll constantly be a challange for these dames... even when serious, I'll be chatting with other hotties, making her think her seat is constantly on edge

GENTLEMEN... WE HAVE A GAMEPLAN!! :)

C

You know... you just might be onto something!

Seriously though - I find it REALLY ODD that this is the case in MOST MARRIAGES. Women routinely withhold sex or have their drive go waaaaaaaay down.

I am always ragging on women who go there.

"Well he pissed me off and I am not giving him the kitty!"

My attitude?

YOU DUMB BITCH!! Why on earth would you DEPRIVE YOURSELF of an orgasm? Because he pissed you off?! That is plain dumb! (Of course, I am not talking about serious things like cheating, etc. I am talking not taking out the trash, leaving up the toilet seat.... stupid shit.)

What did I do when my guy pissed me off?

Simple.

I would fuck his brains out..... then go shopping! :D
 
BMom - I have spent a good bit of time listening to women talk and listening to they guys talk about their women. I think there are several things going on with this. First of all I think the number of women who reach orgasm is very low despite what they say and usually it is not because their man doesn't care it is because they don't tell him what they need. Secondly, I think it would be interesting to see hormone profiles on these women. I am willing to bet that in almost every case they have low test and low progesterone. Then there is the bunch that are on prozac for whatever reason - I don't care what kind of sex drive you have before this drug it will become nonexistent with the drug.
A man goes to the doctor and says "I can't get it up" and they bend over backwards trying to solve the problem. When a woman goes in with no sex drive she basically has to go thru a whole explanation of how the relationship is fine, no she's not depressed blah blah blah and finally she ends up telling the doctor she wants some androgel and hopes he will give it to her.

Guys, do you think as many men would cheat on their wives if the wives were keeping them satisfied or is it not about sex but about sex with someone different???
 
bikinimom said:
Why on earth would you DEPRIVE YOURSELF of an orgasm? Because he pissed you off?!

If your primary reason for having sex is to get yourself off vs pleasing your partner and being close, your marriage is doomed.
 
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Temple01 said:
BMom - I have spent a good bit of time listening to women talk and listening to they guys talk about their women. I think there are several things going on with this. First of all I think the number of women who reach orgasm is very low despite what they say and usually it is not because their man doesn't care it is because they don't tell him what they need. Secondly, I think it would be interesting to see hormone profiles on these women. I am willing to bet that in almost every case they have low test and low progesterone. Then there is the bunch that are on prozac for whatever reason - I don't care what kind of sex drive you have before this drug it will become nonexistent with the drug.
A man goes to the doctor and says "I can't get it up" and they bend over backwards trying to solve the problem. When a woman goes in with no sex drive she basically has to go thru a whole explanation of how the relationship is fine, no she's not depressed blah blah blah and finally she ends up telling the doctor she wants some androgel and hopes he will give it to her.

Guys, do you think as many men would cheat on their wives if the wives were keeping them satisfied or is it not about sex but about sex with someone different???

Even if a woman(or man) has a low sex drive for whatever reason, that doesn't mean they get to neglect their spouse.

And about the cheating thing, I think that if more women took care of themselves(physcially) and their spouse's needs, guys would be LESS likely to cheat.
 
I've seen it so many times its unreal, once a women(not all but a LARGE %)gets married, they just let themselves go and sexually neglect their spouse.

I give mad props to a lot of the women of elite, who seem to actually care about their spouse's needs.
 
HUGHJORGEN said:
I get it once every 7-10 days. BM is soooooooo right- for the first 2 years we had sex 3-4X per week or more. After that it's all downhill. Sadly she's turned into a complete prude too.

LOL,damn bro,you just described my wife to a tee,although she was never a pleaser,just a please-ee.I can't do a single thing that is the least bit exciting or a turn on to me with her.She gets this crinkled-up-nose look like,"Eww,what are you doing?"After so many years of dealing with that,"I'm the only person that exists in the bedroom"bullshit,I've finally just tossed my hands in the air and given up.Five knuckle-shuffling with a good flick is far less frustrating,lol.I love my wife,but in the bedroom she's a nightmare.
 
vixenbabe said:
Good week : 3-4 times
Bad week : 2 times

Thats it? I'm shocked. :)

If and when i get married it ED for me........minimum.

Fonz
 
ttlpkg said:


If your primary reason for having sex is to get yourself off vs pleasing your partner and being close, your marriage is doomed.

That was taken out of context.

I was making this statement in the context of a woman withholding sex because HE PISSED HER OFF. They are married. THEY KNOW THEY LOVE EACH OTHER and THAT THEY WANT TO MAKE EACH OTHER FEEL GOOD.

Too many women though, use sex as a weapon. I would NEVER do this because

A) It just isn't right.

B) If we have sex OF COURSE he will have an orgasm DUH! But I WILL HAVE ONE TOO! So why would I deprive myself? He doesn't get off because he pissed me off! Too many women FORGET the rest of that statement which would be - I DON'T GET OFF NEITHER!


I swear, I oughtta right a book about this. Too many women just don't get it. And Temple, I feel ya about the sex drive thing. I know that babies and such will wreak havoc on a woman's hormones and selfesteem. But if she REALLY CARED then she would try like a motherfucker to rectify the situation. Sex is akin to eating, breathing and sleeping. It is a normal part of life. So if I couldn't eat, sleep or breathe wouldn't I REALLY TRY TO FIX IT?
 
bikinimom said:

I swear, I oughtta right a book about this. Too many women just don't get it.

Bmom you're going to think I'm flaming, but I'm not. I respect your opinions/comments. But why would one buy a book about marriage, and sex in marriage from someone whose marriage ended in divorce?
 
My marriage did not end because of sexual troubles. In that department it was AOK, despite the fact that I was married to a very controlling and possessive man.

There are TONS of women who just don't get the fact that they should NEVER use sex as a weapon. And this is A VERY COMMON COMPLAINT amongst married men. It never ceases to boggle my mind just how many women are screwed up in the head about this very important (though not the ONLY important aspect) of a relationship.

MOST of the women who posted on this thread ARE NOT the average female and of the ones who frequent this board who are, I am willing to wager that not one of them has the balls to tell the truth because THEY KNOW they will be flamed from here to eternity. - Disagree with me on that one.

And no flame taken. :)
 
bikinimom said:


That was taken out of context.

I was making this statement in the context of a woman withholding sex because HE PISSED HER OFF. They are married. THEY KNOW THEY LOVE EACH OTHER and THAT THEY WANT TO MAKE EACH OTHER FEEL GOOD.

Too many women though, use sex as a weapon. I would NEVER do this because

A) It just isn't right.

B) If we have sex OF COURSE he will have an orgasm DUH! But I WILL HAVE ONE TOO! So why would I deprive myself? He doesn't get off because he pissed me off! Too many women FORGET the rest of that statement which would be - I DON'T GET OFF NEITHER!


I swear, I oughtta right a book about this. Too many women just don't get it. And Temple, I feel ya about the sex drive thing. I know that babies and such will wreak havoc on a woman's hormones and selfesteem. But if she REALLY CARED then she would try like a motherfucker to rectify the situation. Sex is akin to eating, breathing and sleeping. It is a normal part of life. So if I couldn't eat, sleep or breathe wouldn't I REALLY TRY TO FIX IT?

I'm not defending them. And yes, one would think that they would. However, hormonal problems can also cause depression and it becomes a self perpetuating problem. The average woman doesn't have a clue that it is hormonal. Men know that if they can't get it up there is Viagra...it has been as well advertised as any product out there. When was the last time you heard an ad that addressed low test levels in women. How many women would know to ask for androgel or methyltest at microscopic doses? I can tell you from experience that she will have to explain to the doctor exactly how she know this, why she thinks she needs it and then he will have to do some checking on the subject and get back to her.

Women who use sex as a weapon....well, all I can say is they better not whine when he goes and finds someone who doesn't behave that way.
 
my wife told me we can only have sex to make kids.. I have two kids and been married 7 years... damn.. i'm missing something here...:D
 
bikinimom said:


You know... you just might be onto something!

Seriously though - I find it REALLY ODD that this is the case in MOST MARRIAGES. Women routinely withhold sex or have their drive go waaaaaaaay down.

I am always ragging on women who go there.

"Well he pissed me off and I am not giving him the kitty!"

My attitude?

YOU DUMB BITCH!! Why on earth would you DEPRIVE YOURSELF of an orgasm? Because he pissed you off?! That is plain dumb! (Of course, I am not talking about serious things like cheating, etc. I am talking not taking out the trash, leaving up the toilet seat.... stupid shit.)

What did I do when my guy pissed me off?

Simple.

I would fuck his brains out..... then go shopping! :D

dude.. this is the first time you made me laugh in a loooong long time kini.... that was the funiest shit I have read here ever.... im still laughing.
 
CrimsonKing said:
my wife told me we can only have sex to make kids.. I have two kids and been married 7 years... damn.. i'm missing something here...:D

I hope you are joking...
 
CrimsonKing said:
my wife told me we can only have sex to make kids.. I have two kids and been married 7 years... damn.. i'm missing something here...:D
Ya I hope you are joking!! If not, I feel sorry for you.
 
Temple01 said:


I'm not defending them. And yes, one would think that they would. However, hormonal problems can also cause depression and it becomes a self perpetuating problem. The average woman doesn't have a clue that it is hormonal. Men know that if they can't get it up there is Viagra...it has been as well advertised as any product out there. When was the last time you heard an ad that addressed low test levels in women. How many women would know to ask for androgel or methyltest at microscopic doses? I can tell you from experience that she will have to explain to the doctor exactly how she know this, why she thinks she needs it and then he will have to do some checking on the subject and get back to her.

Women who use sex as a weapon....well, all I can say is they better not whine when he goes and finds someone who doesn't behave that way.

Ya most women don't know it's a hormonal problem but when the man tells them that it may be a hormonal imbalance they get all offended and pissed off you even mentioned that. Women are wierd, and I will never understand them.
 
Re: Re: Re: Married people..How often do you get sex?

rnch said:
only THREE QUARTERS of a time? wattsamatta, someone can't go the distance anymore?:p






(j/k, dude!)

Hey, I meant I can only get 3/4 of the way in...:)
 
Re: Re: Re: Re: Married people..How often do you get sex?

ttlpkg said:


Hey, I meant I can only get 3/4 of the way in...:)
so i guess it IS true what they say about you black guys, huh?:o
 
Temple01 said:


I'm not defending them. And yes, one would think that they would. However, hormonal problems can also cause depression and it becomes a self perpetuating problem. The average woman doesn't have a clue that it is hormonal. Men know that if they can't get it up there is Viagra...it has been as well advertised as any product out there. When was the last time you heard an ad that addressed low test levels in women. How many women would know to ask for androgel or methyltest at microscopic doses? I can tell you from experience that she will have to explain to the doctor exactly how she know this, why she thinks she needs it and then he will have to do some checking on the subject and get back to her.

Women who use sex as a weapon....well, all I can say is they better not whine when he goes and finds someone who doesn't behave that way.


I'm going to have to call bullshit on this one, yeah a VERY SMALL % of women have low sex drive because of hormone problems.

Somehow I don't think that 90% of women SUDDENLY develop hormone problems after they get married.
 
TC2 said:



I'm going to have to call bullshit on this one, yeah a VERY SMALL % of women have low sex drive because of hormone problems.

Somehow I don't think that 90% of women SUDDENLY develop hormone problems after they get married.

After marriage - no, after childbirth I think it is very possible. Also as women age their hormones change. I don't know, I am just guessing based on my own experience with childbirth and aging. Listening to women talk, even the ones who are in a very active new relationship the sex often isn't about orgasm, it is about feeling loved and wanted yada yada. Even normal hormone levels in a woman does not produce a sex drive that is even close to that of most males. Ask any woman who has done an AAS cycle and I think they will tell you it was a very eye opening experience.
I think what often happens is that you have a woman who has low average test, pre marriage the relationship is new or at least there is conquest involved with the goal of marriage. This isn't hormone driven sex or orgasm driven sex. Males really have sex for one reason - orgasm. So, once you take a woman who does not have the hormones to support orgasm driven sex and she's got him so her sex drive isn't marriage driven there is really no purpose in having sex.
Personally I choose to manipulate my hormones to keep them at least at the upper limits of normal -I'm happy and my husband is happy. My point is that a little hormonal manipulation would go a long way in preventing a few divorces.
 
Temple01 said:


Personally I choose to manipulate my hormones to keep them at least at the upper limits of normal -I'm happy and my husband is happy. My point is that a little hormonal manipulation would go a long way in preventing a few divorces.


hee hee Temple---i like mine in the low end of Abnormally High! :FRlol: we're both happy too!
 
I see what you're saying to a certain extent BUT.... ....

I've been depressed and tired before, but I would never neglect my GF, even if I was impotent, there's always ways to satisfy your spouse.

Seriously, how long does it take?? I'm not flaming you, you sound like you care enough about your spouse to look into hormone therpy.

But the fact remains, Most women cease to care about a man's sexual needs once they are married.

As Bmom states, this is a HUGE complaint among men, I don't know of any guys who dont complain about this.
 
Temple,

(it is about feeling loved and wanted yada yada. )

...and all that other happy horseshit, right?

(Males really have sex for one reason - orgasm.)

I hope you are only speaking of those that have fucked you. There is more to it depending on who and the situation. It could be the conquest, pleasing her, making her squeal, revenge, killing time, making babies, etc, etc.

(My point is that a little hormonal manipulation would go a long way in preventing a few divorces)

Only if a lack of sex is the major reason for the divorce, which I'm sure accounts for a small percentage of the 85%
 
I don't know about lack of sex being a small percentage. Many, many problems arise from lack of sex. Just look at how fucked up a marriage gets when a woman gets pregnant, then when she has the baby. A LOT of changes going on. All normal, all natural, ALL FIXABLE.... But too many people let these little problems build into HYUGE problems and the next thing you know: BAM! two kids, a dog, a big fat fucking mortgage later they are headed to divorce court.

The only way that I can explain this simply is like this:

Your roof has a really small leak. We are talking a slow drip. So you set a bucket there and make a mental note to call the roofer to fix it. Then tomorrow turns into the next, into the next; small drip which is no emergency. Right? Then you realize the bucket is about to overflow, but you have to pay off some bills and don't have the extra money for such a large expense. It is only a small drip afterall. RIGHT? So you put a HYUGE barrel there and make a mental note to save up your cash and call the contractor ASAP. Only trouble is that the kids need braces and the car finally died, etc, etc.

You all get my point right?

One day the barrel overflows as now the tiny drip which has been slowly eroding the woodwork beneath the sheetrock that you couldn't see has given way to a massive flow and now what could have been fixed with a bit of care and work has turned into a very costly problem that may or may not be able to be rectified... and even if it is fixed, things may never be the same.

And yes, even then there is always hope as the roof may be rebuilt better and stronger than before, etc... but it may just be easier at this point to cut your losses and get out.

I know that this may not be a perfect analogy, but I hope that I was able to adequately explain my feelings.

This is exactly how two people wake up one day and decide, "This isn't what I thought it would be" after they had been "coasting along" for years.
 
bikinimom said:
I don't know about lack of sex being a small percentage.

I disagree. You even said that in your personal experience the sex was good right? I think it is usually more a case of financial problems, physical or verbal abuse, a lack of love, separation, incompatible extended families or a plain lack of maturity/committment.
 
I think most people get divorced because they got married too soon in the 1st place.

There is a lot of changes that a person goes through during their 20s, which is when most people get married.

And people get married WAY to quickly, How can you plan on spending your life with someone after only a matter of months in many cases??
 
crimson coal said:
Married people and long termed relationship people..How often do you get to enjoy sex with your partner? How long in between sessions do you think is to long? Just wondering if I am sex starved or wanting it to much. Been married 11 years and want it alot more often then the wife wants to give. It's Starting to bother me.

Ditto
 
ttlpkg said:
Temple,

(it is about feeling loved and wanted yada yada. )

...and all that other happy horseshit, right?

(Males really have sex for one reason - orgasm.)

I hope you are only speaking of those that have fucked you. There is more to it depending on who and the situation. It could be the conquest, pleasing her, making her squeal, revenge, killing time, making babies, etc, etc.

(My point is that a little hormonal manipulation would go a long way in preventing a few divorces)

Only if a lack of sex is the major reason for the divorce, which I'm sure accounts for a small percentage of the 85%

I'm going to use a "Dr. Phil" here..."sex is only 10% of a marriage unless you're not getting any and then it is more like 90%" I am going to hold to my position that MANY WOMEN FAKE ORGASM and MANY WOMEN LIE TO THEIR GIRLFRIENDS ABOUT HAVING THEM. If it isn't hormone driven and if it isn't about orgasm being the ultimate goal for males then tell me why there aren't just as many women sitting here saying "I just don't know what happened....we got married and all of a sudden he won't put out any more..." How many men do you know who have sex on a regular basis and do not orgasm? I am not saying that orgasm is the ONLY reason a man has sex but without it the frequency would not matter as much.
 
Ya know being a married man I could never understand why men cheated on their wives. I mean why get married in the first place? Through the years I can now say I understand why some do. If your not getting a connection at home you gotta get it somewhere else. I have had times in these 11 years that I have met girls and known as friends that I felt a spark for but never acted on it. These days it would be harder to resist that spark if it were to come again.
 
As a man of experience (married 18 years this Jan.) I can tell you it is all downhill after kids.

We waited 10 years before we had children and avg about 4 times a week. Even when my wife was pregnant with our first and was not suppsed to orgasam for fear of early delivery she would initiate activities to insure I was satisfied.

Boom kid # 1 comes we are both so tired and cranky that we start to just pass when it comes to sex. Average drops to like once a week with no increase and then Bam! Kid #2. we now are averaging like once a month......THIS SHIT SUCKS!!!!

My youngest is now 3, stress is still there but I am trying to make the effort to rekindle our sex life and she is willing too.

We now are back to the 1 time a week phase. I'm hoping that as the kids get older and more independent we will get back to where we were before.

Hang in there, If you two love each other you will get back to where you started.......I'm hoping I do !!!
 
Raghead Remover said:
As a man of experience (married 18 years this Jan.) I can tell you it is all downhill after kids.

I beg to differ. My wife and I have plenty of kids and plenty of sex. The best sex I've ever had with my wife came after kids and by the way sex while she's pregnant is great too!
 
ttlpkg said:


I disagree. You even said that in your personal experience the sex was good right? I think it is usually more a case of financial problems, physical or verbal abuse, a lack of love, separation, incompatible extended families or a plain lack of maturity/committment.

Now that is a good response.

This is only the 3rd time I've ever given Karma on EF.

Fonz
 
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