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Last 2 weeks of pregnancy r teh suck

pdaddyII

pdaddyII

High End Bro
Platinum
She can't sleep for shit, which means I can't sleep for shit. She's super uncomfortable and I'm nervous as fuck for when the shit goes down.
 
Hit that baby will come faster. Because after baby comes sexy time won't be happening for awhile
 
seriously though, assuming you guys probably have a good relationship with the doc since you both work in the medical field, you'll be well taken care of.
 
Lolololoo
 
Our doc told me I was supposed to be nailin' the ex every day for the last few weeks. She said something like "you put it in there, help get it out", and I said something like "Gross, have you ever seen a pregnant woman nude?"
 
I got in the wife a few times a day the last few weeks. Idk why but her sex drive was insane.

Then I didn't get shit for 6 fucking weeks
 
bigbassturd said:
I got in the wife a few times a day the last few weeks. Idk why but her sex drive was insane.

Then I didn't get shit for 6 fucking weeks
Click to expand...

Careful, you're going to lure Redsam in here with you telling stories that may involve your penis like that.
 
I think my wife was cute prego. I loved sex while she was like that
 
We tried at like 4-5 weeks or so and it wasn't happening. No fucking way.

Then tried again around week 6-7 and it went a little better but still not cool for her.

It was probably 8 weeks or so before she actually enjoyed it again. That should be illegal...
 
I just remember being in places like babies r' us, where some of the preggo's weighed like 400 lbs and walked around grunting and groaning, burping, whinning, moaning, etc. and being completely turned off by it.

Honestly, I don't remember shit about what my ex looked or acted like, and I deleted all her pics from the computer and trashed the old albums. I'll just assume she was a 400 lb whale.
 
I was probably overzealous lolz

plus she swore she was pregnant again. I think she thought she had her first cycle (but didn't) and then didn't have another until almost 6 weeks.
 
Yeah it hurt the fuck out of her the first couple times. She didn't get her cycle lined out for like 3 months.

I'm also ON_CYCLE for 3 months. Fun fact.
 
Get the epidural bro for real.

You'll feel fucking awesone while she's bitching about it hurting...or something like that. After the meds it got a little hazy.

Also teh newborn human cannot survive without ample hydros, that's a scientific fact. Google it.
 
miplank said:
i felt like i was gonna shit my pants the whole time my son was born. I was so nervous.
Click to expand...

For real?

I was a little nervous the morning when we first got there but once labor really started I handled it like a boss and got to help pull my girl out and hold her and whatnot. Was pretty fucking cool. Guess I was too excited to be nervous once I knew she was almost here
 
not bad, good epidural distraction

i think i would have ripped someones face off if they were anywhere near my nether parts for anything other than a cervix progress check...fer real
 
bigbassturd said:
For real?

I was a little nervous the morning when we first got there but once labor really started I handled it like a boss and got to help pull my girl out and hold her and whatnot. Was pretty fucking cool. Guess I was too excited to be nervous once I knew she was almost here
Click to expand...



real talk...I was fine once the delivery started but up until that I wore out 2 good pairs of pacing shoes and had phantom poop pains all damn day.
 
I was so mind fucked after birth. my wife was bleeding everywhere from the magnesium and my son didn't cry for what seemed like forever. I wasscrewed up for a few minutes
 
zwhit said:
I was so mind fucked after birth. my wife was bleeding everywhere from the magnesium and my son didn't cry for what seemed like forever. I wasscrewed up for a few minutes
Click to expand...

hmmm...magnesium, I hadn't thought of this

this is kinda how my last went down only I got nervous the same time one of the nurses did that the baby wasn't pinking up at all.... she's still super chill
 
and I remember checking the carseat 187 times in the hospital parking lot just to make sure I had done it right.


oh, and driving home at approx. 4 mph.
 
bigbassturd said:
Woody you kill me bro lolok
Click to expand...


Lol. Actually I was there the whole time. The kid came out quick. He was actually choking to death on his own umbilical cord, and the nurses kept having the ex move around while they were watching whatever shows up on the screen there. We had to wait for the doc to come in, but as soon as he arrived she gave 1 or 2 pushes, pushed out Woody, the doc cut the cord and unwrapped it from Woody's neck and pulled him out.
 
miplank said:
shirl, by now don't your kids just kinda slide on out?
Click to expand...

no, Ive gotten it down to about an hr of pushing...the first one was a little over three hrs of pushing
I think the dr for the first was a masochist
 
zwhit said:
I was so mind fucked after birth. my wife was bleeding everywhere from the magnesium and my son didn't cry for what seemed like forever. I wasscrewed up for a few minutes
Click to expand...

Watching your wife give birth is like watching your favorite pub burn to the ground.
 
pdaddyII said:
She can't sleep for shit, which means I can't sleep for shit. She's super uncomfortable and I'm nervous as fuck for when the shit goes down.
Click to expand...

Ask her to sleep downstairs in the basement. You need to conserve your energy.
 
One of my kids was born with a completely loose knot in its umbilical cord. He was born via c-section and the doctor held it up and casually said: "Huh... I guess he was meant to be here." And just kept going with the procedure.
 
mrplunkey said:
Watching your wife give birth is like watching your favorite pub burn to the ground.
Click to expand...

I was warned that it's traumatic to see something the size of a baby come out of your wife's vag so I was prepared for that.

But no one told me that it doesn't close immediately after the kid squeezes out and you can see way up inside. That's what fucked me up.
 
to be the bearer of bad news....last 2 weeks could easily turn into the last 4 weeks, barring scheduled induction or c-section of course

jus sayin
 
mrplunkey said:
Mrs. Plunkey did two c-sections so as not to void the warranty on her equipment.
Click to expand...

My wifes not down with doing teh C.

Guess Im not going to have anyone to leave my Teh Jacket to when I die*




*Teh Jacket actually provides everlasting life.
 
I see some women at the beach here wearing bikini's with really obvious scars sometimes. Made me wonder if they were always haggard scars, & always really visible.
 
You aint fucking no scar. Its infinitely more important to not have a blown out vag
 
The Ex got one of those vag rejuvenation's done like 4 years after her last kid. I thought it felt hideous. I could feel the scar or something on the bottom of my dick, and she was much drier afterwards too.
 
shirlene29 said:
just swipe some cytotec man...problem solved
Click to expand...

Yeah, cytotec at home. That's a great idea. Another shining example of how having a tiny bit of knowledge that you think is all there is to it is so much more dangerous than having no knowledge at all. Fuck, if you spent 15 minutes reading, you might have gotten lucky and said PG gel (which is still dumb, but less so) but cytotec is what you've heard of so you regurgitate it thinking it sounds smart. Stick to defrauding people with magic pads.
 
stunner_best said:
Yeah, cytotec at home. That's a great idea. Another shining example of how having a tiny bit of knowledge that you think is all there is to it is so much more dangerous than having no knowledge at all. Fuck, if you spent 15 minutes reading, you might have gotten lucky and said PG gel (which is still dumb, but less so) but cytotec is what you've heard of so you regurgitate it thinking it sounds smart. Stick to defrauding people with magic pads.
Click to expand...

Oh shit, it finally got serious in here
 
I thought that was a comedy?

Must have been why I was getting weird stares while I was the only one busting out laughing.....

Whoops
 
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