Ladies be honest

[Werd]

Says who? Where's that written?


Seriously you say stuff like that a lot I noticed. Your ass must be black and blue from all the times you kicked it yourself.

I swear to God it is... funny thing, my ex only beat me once. I guess he was too busy waiting in line behind me...

I just fuck up so damned much... I HATE that about me. I just want so much to make things right and I don't know how. I am their mother.. I am supposed to have ALL the answers and all I do is fuck shit up.

Sorry, I am not feeling too good right now... really bad mental state.

 

[wend]

Werd, I hope you're in a better mental place now.

I'm a mother too. I don't have all the answers. I don't even have that many.

What it takes to be a good mother is to love your children and do your best. I get the feeling that you're doing that already. Everyone makes mistakes. If you keep on trying instead of giving up, then you haven't failed.

Don't try to be a perfect parent. There's no such thing, and their childhood will pass in a blur of self-recrimination. Just try to be a good-enough parent. It's all we can do, and it's all they need.

 

[jenscats5]

I swear to God it is... funny thing, my ex only beat me once. I guess he was too busy waiting in line behind me...

I just fuck up so damned much... I HATE that about me. I just want so much to make things right and I don't know how. I am their mother.. I am supposed to have ALL the answers and all I do is fuck shit up.

Sorry, I am not feeling too good right now... really bad mental state.

Ummm, I don't want to sound like a jerk since I don't know you all that well, but if I was having a problem like this (or any of us) would you talk to any of us or me that way????? No you sure as heck would not!! You'd be supportive, etc.....

Well then why do you treat yourself that way?? Life, parenting, relationships are all a continuous journey & like fitness, not a destination! You don't one day wake up & get a medal for good parenting, wife-dom, etc.....and my therapist after I divorced when I complained that it wasn't fair, told me that life isn't fair. Plus she also said that you just keep trying till you get it right. But who is there to tell you if you get it right or not??

I'm sorry that you are in a bad place & I'm glad you are getting support here -- but you need to STOP beating yourself up!! If you wouldn't talk to your kids that way then why do you feel you should treat yourself that way??

Good Luck to ya!! Hang in there! It'll all get better someday......some day......

 

[Werd]

You know, just last week 3 people told me that I have to "stop apologizing" - first this board, then my therapist, then my boss at work (who is also a friend).

Someone at work did something rude and all but called me an idiot for an obvious mistake I'd made. I quite calmy but FIRMLY emailed him back that I wasn't going to take his bullshit... I know it sounds lame, but I was REALLY proud of myself. I work for a company that has 700 employees in 3 offices WORLDWIDE and also deals with contractors around the US but am expected to be the personal assistant TO THEM ALL. Though I genuinely enjoy 99% of my coworkers this company is experiencing SERIOUS growing pains.

Here it is:

Silly me…. Yes, you are correct. Perhaps if I wasn’t constantly interrupted by all sorts of requests many of which only give half information from within the ENTIRE company, not to mention this rather noisy phone that is my TOTAL responsibility to attend to regardless of what I have on my desk… I would NEVER make such a ridiculous mistake.

Thankfully though, I work with people who don’t yell at me when I make mistakes. Makes for a much nicer working environment…. Don’t you agree?

I will email and cc: all interested parties as soon as I complete this reservation (that I never was made aware of before a few hours ago that was my responsibility to make to begin with).



*******

I was totally professional, but got my point across I think.

You guys are right... And I have gotten a lot better about stuff. Meaning, I have finally internally reconciled with a lot of difficult choices that I have made over the past few years - specifically in regards to my marriage and children. I chose VERY odd paths and because of this I have been subject to an unbelievable amount of judging - I tend to accpet blame and apologize even for the weather for heaven's sake, so this made things even worse for me. Now the only thing left is for me to have a very VERY long overdue honest heart-to-heart with my kids to help them to understand THE TRUTH - not the garbage lies that their father and his family have been drilling into them.

I just have to continue to surround myself with positive people and positive situations until I am strong enough to effectively IGNORE the negatives - not let them knock me back to square one.

Thank you all so much for your kind and supportive words.