Ladies be honest

[Raina]

I have. I think I was also a different person then. I didn't really know what I want and in the process of changing my mind a lot, I really dragged a couple of guys through the mud. I feel bad for it now.

 

[velvett]

I was 19, had never dated before (crazy parents), very immature emotionally and in the end he got his anyway.

Ah well.

 

[Puddles]

I only dated a few guys before meeting my husband in high school. I treated them all as I wanted to be treated and I still look back fondly at the memories. With the exception of one ex, after we broke up we all remained friends. I couldn't purposely treat someone badly.

I treat my husband like a king and he responds the same way treating me like a queen.

 

[RottenWillow]

Yes I've pooped on a few nice guys. I wish I could say I made amens with all of them like Velvett, but with at least one of them I never found the cojones to apologize.

 

[velvett]

Yes I've pooped on a few nice guys. I wish I could say I made amens with all of them like Velvett, but with at least one of them I never found the cojones to apologize.

Well, like I said - sometimes you hurt someone through circumstance not sole intent and sometimes there are no acceptable apologies that can be said.

 

[Raina]

I've actually appologized to a couple of the guys I really hurt and we've managed to end up on good terms. I think we all tend to be more self-centered when we're younger and don't really consider how our actions effect others.

 

[Werd]

I just don't have it in me to be mean to a guy... even the motherfuckers that soooooo deserve it. I can honestly say that I never have and I just don't know why... Shouldn't I have been mean to at least one?

I feel like such a wishy washy sap.

I am just not capable of it, never was. And look what it netted me?

I am not saying that I want to be that way, I just can't understand how a guy could be mean and nasty to a girl and vice versa...

I am nearly 37 years old and I am just now truly beginning to stand up for myself.

I feel like such a wuss sometimes.

And everyone wonders why I just stay alone. I have several issues, no doubt and am getting counseling (been off and on for years). Sometimes I just feel like a walking sack of wierd....

I was IM'ing a friend today who was doing stupid shit (being physical even though he knew he was hurt and should take a few days to rest) and was giving him a gentle "take it easy" butt-reaming. In 37 years old NO ONE that "cared about me" ever did that for me. NO ONE - not my mother/father or ex's.... only my kids (once I split from their dad) and my sister. Little realizations like that are so fucking profound.

I don't know how I have managed to live on this earth so long like this....

I have been so busy taking care of everybody else my entire life, I guess I just never learned how to take care of me.

That same friend that I mentioned before - he knows my health issues and he told me when I said I would finally break down and see a doc that he was happy to hear it...

I know that sounds stupid, but just the simple fact that he was kind enough to say that makes me grateful.

God, I hate how pathetic I sound....

I just want so much to understand it all.

Velvett - do me a favor and shoot me your mailing addy again LOL one of these days I swear I will make it to the post office to mail you something that belongs to you.

 

[wend]

I wasn't as considerate as I could have been when I was young (like 16-18). I wish now I'd taken some of the guys' feelings more into consideration, but I was just clueless. I was never downright mean, but (for example), I sometimes wouldn't let them know that I didn't want to date them again, but would just go out with someone else and let them figure it out. They'd go cry on my brother's shoulder and he'd come and bitch me out about it. I learned that way pretty quickly, actually.

 

[Werd]

I was never downright mean, but (for example), I sometimes wouldn't let them know that I didn't want to date them again, but would just go out with someone else and let them figure it out.

I wasn't allowed to date until I was 17, nearly 21 when hooked up w/my ex and was with him for 13 years so I am pretty much finishing up my adolescence I guess.

I have a really hard time even telling a guy that I am not really interested in going a date with him if he won't take "thanks bu no thanks" for an answer. I know this sounds so stupid, but I have felt pressured into more dates and stayed on dates waaaaaaaaaay longer than I should have because I don't know how to say, "You're really nice, but I am just not interested in dating you." without feeling like I am being a bitch.

I just don't answer their calls and don't return their emails. If a guy doesn't return my second call or email then I figure he is doing the same. I don't get upset about it (especially if we just went out once or just spoke on the phone, etc). I just figure that I wasn't his style and get on with life. No biggie.

Update on the nice guy? He did my taxes, refusing to bill me (which I wish he would) and sent me a dozen chocolate covered strawberries in the mail yesterday. They were boxed as if they were roses. Very nice... But they ALL seem nice in the beginning.

I have had many, many men try to possess me so though the chocolates were nice, I still don't know if I want to go out with him again. Besides I am very busy these days.

 

[wend]

Seems like one of those cases where you've just got to follow your gut. Figure out whether a lack of self-esteem is keeping you from believing that you're worth all that niceness, or whether he really is a creep who's trying to make you "owe" him something. Good luck! (BTW, if you asked him to bill you and he refused, even at a discounted rate, that might creep me out a little.)