Is my wife using the legal system to leverage me for money in our divorce is similar to a drug dealer calling the cops when he gets robbed?

[jh1]

ummm...dude asking you to pay child support isn't exactly extortion. lol.

I have no problem paying child support. Lets be clear on that.

I do have a problem with financing my ex-wife's lifestyle though. Especially since her lifestyle is dangerous for my daugther. That would be called "Enableing' her in by drug counselors.

Being a attorney you should know that the 'Statutory' amounts have alot of leway to play with depending upon how the worksheet is completed and how the numbers are played with. Her proposal assumes a lot of factors that bias the end result 100% in her favor. If I calculate it the same way with all factors biasing me.... there is over an $800 a month difference.

In fact... if you beleive in this statutory amount... let's look at someone else's situation that know:

Facts:

1. Wife makes more money.
2. They are going to share legal and physical custody 50/50.
3. The statutory amount he will pay her is in the neighborhood of 500/month.

The statute says nothing about who pays who. So in that situation, if it was calculate with HIM as the presumed reciipietnt of child support he would receive over 700 a month since he makes less.

So explain that to me? Nothing about statutory amounts is as cut and dry as it may seem. There are alot of factors to be toiled with, she has toiled them in her favor... I will turn them in my favor and then we will arrive at a number that *I* am comfortable with to make sure my daughter has everything she needs in both households without putting excesive amounts of *MY* money into the hands of a drug abuser.

Or.... we'll go to court, and we'll see what court decides on who is the more fit parent.

Basically... divorce law, child custody law, is so biased in women's favor it's not even funny. I know some women have gotten the shaft, so don't even start in with those examples - I don't deny their existance. I am talking about generalities that I beleive to be accurate... and I am talking about my specific situation.

I am no deadbeat dad... I know people don't know me personally on here... with the exception of one or two orbs... but they can testifiy, I am good dad - better than most, and my daughter has everything she needs from me and then some. She always will.

Not wanting to be uber fucked some bitch that already fucked me over once does not equate to being a deadbeat father. Any suggestion to contrary is resented.

 

[heatherrae]

I have no problem paying child support. Lets be clear on that.

I do have a problem with financing my ex-wife's lifestyle though. Especially since her lifestyle is dangerous for my daugther. That would be called "Enableing' her in by drug counselors.

Being a attorney you should know that the 'Statutory' amounts have alot of leway to play with depending upon how the worksheet is completed and how the numbers are played with. Her proposal assumes a lot of factors that bias the end result 100% in her favor. If I calculate it the same way with all factors biasing me.... there is over an $800 a month difference.

In fact... if you beleive in this statutory amount... let's look at someone else's situation that know:

Facts:

1. Wife makes more money.
2. They are going to share legal and physical custody 50/50.
3. The statutory amount he will pay her is in the neighborhood of 500/month.

The statute says nothing about who pays who. So in that situation, if it was calculate with HIM as the presumed reciipietnt of child support he would receive over 700 a month since he makes less.

So explain that to me? Nothing about statutory amounts is as cut and dry as it may seem. There are alot of factors to be toiled with, she has toiled them in her favor... I will turn them in my favor and then we will arrive at a number that *I* am comfortable with to make sure my daughter has everything she needs in both households without putting excesive amounts of *MY* money into the hands of a drug abuser.

Or.... we'll go to court, and we'll see what court decides on who is the more fit parent.

Basically... divorce law, child custody law, is so biased in women's favor it's not even funny. I know some women have gotten the shaft, so don't even start in with those examples - I don't deny their existance. I am talking about generalities that I beleive to be accurate... and I am talking about my specific situation.

No offense, because I like you, but you are being irrational. If you were really concerned for your daughter's safety, you would seek custody and your wife would be paying YOU child support. It takes money to raise a kid. You really want your kid to be without money? Child support is just part of the deal with seperated parents.

 

[p0ink]

god...

have some cocaine mailed to her, tip off the postal service and police before delivery.

she will have to take a drug test, i'm sure. use that as evidence against her in a custody hearing, gain custody of your kid, and pay her nothing.

no, just kidding. don't do any of that. you would probably go to jail for it.

 

[jh1]

No offense, because I like you, but you are being irrational. If you were really concerned for your daughter's safety, you would seek custody and your wife would be paying YOU child support. It takes money to raise a kid. You really want your kid to be without money? Child support is just part of the deal with seperated parents.

1. I am concerned about my daughter.
2. A child cutody battle is ugly and we both loose.
3. I need my wifes help to raise our little girl.
4. My daughter deserves to have a mother.
5. Her mother deserves to see her daughter.
6. Her mother needs to get cleaned up.
7. I will do anything I have to to see to it that happens.
8. Child support will be involved, and I have no problem with that.
9. Excessive child support in amounts that allow her to live a lifestyle beyond what she could on her own WITH MY MONEY... is not child support. It's uber fuck over the man support.

 

[heatherrae]

If you feel that it hasn't been calculated properly, then submit your calculations and see if the two of you can have a meeting of the minds. You are beating your head on a wall because of a control issue not really because of the child support. I've seen it a million times. You are making this harder on yourself and your kids than it needs to be.

I'm not digging on you. I just think you have lost perspective.

 

[p0ink]

find a corrupt accountant to hide the majority of everything you have.

 

[p0ink]

heather, are you in a firm or do you run your own practice?

 

[heatherrae]

heather, are you in a firm or do you run your own practice?

Neither right now. I'm looking for work. I worked in a large firm for 5 years and was in private practice for 2 years.

 

[p0ink]

Re: Is my wife using the legal system to leverage me for money in our divorce is simi

Neither right now. I'm looking for work. I worked in a large firm for 5 years and was in private practice for 2 years.

i think you should get out of law. you just arent mean and cut-throat enough.

that thing called a conscience must get in the way of things.

 

[jh1]

If you feel that it hasn't been calculated properly, then submit your calculations and see if the two of you can have a meeting of the minds. You are beating your head on a wall because of a control issue not really because of the child support. I've seen it a million times. You are making this harder on yourself and your kids than it needs to be.

I'm not digging on you. I just think you have lost perspective.

Probably so... it's all one step at a time. We don't go directly to court from here... we are going to submit our counter offers etc. But I will use every leverage, every bargaining chip I have to get this to be just... for my daughter, for me.

Yeah.. control...sure. I'l admit that. I want control over my income and what it gets spent on. I don't think I should have to buy coke for some whore (unless I want to, LMAO!), clothes from BeBe or anything else that isn't directly in SUPPORT of my daughter. That's horseshit. I am the earner.. I *EARNED* this money... it's MINE... not hers. So yeah... I have serious issues with someone else indiscriminately being able to blow my money... get it... blow? Anyway... again, this isn't about not paying legitimate amounts of child support - this is about excess and enablement.

Fortunately, my daughter is very young - under 2. It's still all very unfortunate for her, but at least she won't remember this... that's the bright side... I suppose.