Hun I just want you to get where you are going and not have it make your life miserable. I thought about it today and I expect that even after all my saying how you can expect to blow up post show, post show depression, etc. I'll probably continue to experience it after every show I do in my life and everyone else just needs to experience it once themselves to really appreciate the impact of the dieting, the stress, the pressure, etc. on their body and learn to manage it.
I guess the important thing is that you are speaking up when it become unbearable, but also pushing through the really hard parts of some of this. Some of it is learning from your trainer, some of it is taking that first step towards making your own calls on how to balance your progress & your health in response to that progress.
And the most important thing is that this board continues to offer advice, support and all the luvin a person could need to succeed in any of these crazy endeavors.