I'm not getting enough sex in my current relationship...

[Bikini Mod]

Because women won't stop breeding with losers.

I suppose that all the single fathers on this board were losers too?

 

[canadianhitman]

Always go for what you really want, I don't fucking care how lofty the goal seems. If you want it, don't fuck around, go for it. I'd say the same thing about your situation and it'd just piss me off I wasn't in a situation to be getting the attention I wanted. I'd bail. In a heartbeat.

Nate just hit it out of the park...dead on.

 

[Forge]

You have been dating this woman two months total and already you are babysitting her child?

You sleep over, as in you are in the bed with her mom and she sees you there in the morning?

I dunno, sounds REAL FAST for me.

I was separated/divorced for nearly over 6 years before I remarried. In that time my girls met two men. I married the second.

And everyone knows I dated a HELLALOT. I only left my children wtih a paid sitter on *my time* once with a young girl who was my nanny, more like another one of my daughters. It was for about 3 hours while I went to an afternoon wedding reception with a man that I was nearly engaged to.

Even when I did date somewhat steadily, I never wanted to see the guy more than twice a week and rarely did I/he stay over.

So I really do not understand how the situation arose. I mean, didn't you guys talk about a certain commitment level before you starting sleeping over?

Honestly, not trying to sound harsh, but Forge you sound needy. She is a single mother with a young child and I don't think that you should have been around the baby if you are more concerned with getting MORE SEX from her mother than about the relationship with a POTENTIAL FAMILY.

There are many times when I would love to have sex with my husband but I can't for many reasons, one is depression (becayse of the situation with my children), the other are health issues. So he should cheat because he isn't getting enough?

PS - Velvett, have I told you lately that I love you.... too?!

Yes BM, we have come far and fast in two months, I agree. Maybe it's been too fast for her, and she is starting to pull back a bit.

I've watched the kid, but not alone. I watch her while the mother takes a fitness class when she can't find a sitter (in the gym's child room). I do that so she doesn't have to miss her class. And I keep the daughter occupied sometimes when the mom has to do things around the house, just to let her get shit done without having to be distracted. It helps her stress levels to have help like that. So when I say I watch the kid, I'm not saying I watch her all by myself yet. But the daughter and I get along fantastic.

But yeah, I have slept over in her bed many times spending the night. And we have talked about committment alot, she knows I'm not into flings and that I wouldn't have gone this far with her if I was not serious about her. We trust each other.

Maybe my eagerness and enthusiasm is coming across as being needy, it does't make sense to me but whatever. And I'm not more concerned with sex than the wellfare of the kid, or even the mother's responsibilities and such; I really just like spending time with her and being with her. But it's hard for the three of us to grow as a potential family if the frequency that I see them starts to diminish. I just am not used to this little sex in the honeymoon phase of a new relationship. It feels wrong to me. It feels detrimental to us as a couple.



I think Whey hit it on the head, I just feel like my needs are not being considered as important. I've been busting my ass helping her out and fulfulling her needs, and I haven't been getting any of my needs met. Of course I haven't really asked for anything at all, except for more sex during the week. Just one thing. More us time together, not much, but some. It's not like I'm asking her to do my laundry, make my lunches, clean my bathrooms, and wash my Harley twice a week. Sex is something we both enjoy, and it helps her relieve some stress that builds up for her, she's admitted that before. So is it really too selfish of me to want more of it?

I guess I'm just feeling a bit used. If that makes me needy then maybe I am...

 

[blueta2]

But that’s just it, you ARE saying to play a game. You are saying that I can’t be honest with her, that I should pretend we are in a high school relationship and act like I don’t want it when I really do.

I’m not a good liar, I’m not one to say one thing but mean another. Are you saying it’s needy to tell her how much I want to have sex with her? I’ve never had problems being honest about sex with other women. Usually my gf’s are crazy horny from all the sex we have, usually they appreciate my upfront honesty. Maybe she has the problem, not me. If she can’t handle the truth and it turns her “off” because wanting regular sex makes me “needy”, then what the hell?

The relationship is early, this is the honeymoon phase, we should be fucking like rabbits in heat. She should be wanting to have sex more than once a week.. It may be easy for women to stop worrying about sex, but us men have drives, we have impulses, we have lusts. We do things for our women in hopes of ultimately getting action. Maybe it’s just hard for a woman to understand how much sex means to a man…

Women love what they can’t have? How about appreciating what you do have? How about leaving the games to the teenagers?




Note Blueta I’m not ranting on you personally, you seem like a very nice gal, it’s just that your post kind of irritated me. I hate when women resort to the game playing attitude, is it too much to ask for maturity and honesty in an adult relationship?

I was not suggesting a "game play". I'm going to be 41 yrs old and am past games.
It's called human nature. Anyone (male or female) does not like a needy partner. Now when I say needy, I don't mean two ppl cannot do nice things for one another. My guy and I do stuff for each other all the time and we both very much appreciate everything.
It's great that you're honest with her...I am ALL ABOUT honesty, but ask two ppl that have been in love and married (happily) for years, their trick; keep each other on your toes. Keep the romance alive etc...
Your relationship is in the honeymoon phase so yeah it’s odd that she would not want sex more. Maybe there is another underlying problem. Maybe she has pain with sex or something she feels ashamed to talk with you about. Who knows, but if she is not giving you want you need, then I think it's best to talk with her honestly or yes, move on.
My take, sex is more important to you than her, but frequent sex is not the basis of a solid relationship.....well at my age it isn't anyway.

oh and yes I am a very nice gal ;-)

 

[blueta2]

Don't ruin a bond between the both of you due to sex... DON'T

Respect her devotion to her child... what would you tell your daughter to do in this situation?

well said

 

[Gymgurl]

Get a new relationship

 

[abolish the weak]

2-3x/wk and your bitching? Not sure how old you are, but 2-3x/wk is good considering she has a kid. The woman probably has alot more responsibility than you do considering the fact she has a kid, and sex 7 days/wk is probably not on the top of her priority list.

 

[javaguru]

2-3x/wk and your bitching? Not sure how old you are, but 2-3x/wk is good considering she has a kid. The woman probably has alot more responsibility than you do considering the fact she has a kid, and sex 7 days/wk is probably not on the top of her priority list.

Surely she can manage five minutes a pop, seven days a week is a grand total of 35 minutes.

 

[covergrl80]

Surely she can manage five minutes a pop, seven days a week is a grand total of 35 minutes.

 

[Bikini Mod]

Forge I didnt mean to say that there was something wrong with you babysitting per se. What I meant was that IMO it is too early for you to have ANY CONTACT with her child. I know you are a good guy that isn't into hurting anyone, especially NOT A CHILD. But when you start *playing daddy* - which you pretty much have been as to a child under the age of 18 (I know, I am VERY old fashioned when it comes to this viewpoint) only "mommy and daddy" sleep in the same bed.

I think that maybe the two of you rushed into combining her *adult female life* with her *mommy life* waaaaaaaaaaay too soon and there is no going back.

Either try to talk this out with her or just break it off clean and simple and don't make the same mistake again in the future. If any other single mom suggests that you have ANYTHING to do with her kids until the two of you are VERY COMMiTTED (I am talking nearly married) then I suggest you run like a mad man in the opposite direction.

My advice would be the same if you were female.

Parents should put more thought into separating these two lives before even THINKING about co-mingling the two.

You aren't a bad guy and she isn't a bad person. I just don't think that either of you saw this *issue*. You never having had kids, I dont fault so much. But her? How many other guys has she brought around her daughter and how many guys will be "next one in line"? As I said, my viewpoint is the same regardless of gender.

 

[all the whey]

I suppose that all the single fathers on this board were losers too?

I didn't say "all".

Only the ones that truely are as bad as their ex's say.

I also didn't say "all" single mom's bad mouth baby's daddy. (but, I would say %90.) lollololo

 

[Forge]

Forge I didnt mean to say that there was something wrong with you babysitting per se. What I meant was that IMO it is too early for you to have ANY CONTACT with her child. I know you are a good guy that isn't into hurting anyone, especially NOT A CHILD. But when you start *playing daddy* - which you pretty much have been as to a child under the age of 18 (I know, I am VERY old fashioned when it comes to this viewpoint) only "mommy and daddy" sleep in the same bed.

I think that maybe the two of you rushed into combining her *adult female life* with her *mommy life* waaaaaaaaaaay too soon and there is no going back.

Either try to talk this out with her or just break it off clean and simple and don't make the same mistake again in the future. If any other single mom suggests that you have ANYTHING to do with her kids until the two of you are VERY COMMiTTED (I am talking nearly married) then I suggest you run like a mad man in the opposite direction.

My advice would be the same if you were female.

Parents should put more thought into separating these two lives before even THINKING about co-mingling the two.

You aren't a bad guy and she isn't a bad person. I just don't think that either of you saw this *issue*. You never having had kids, I dont fault so much. But her? How many other guys has she brought around her daughter and how many guys will be "next one in line"? As I said, my viewpoint is the same regardless of gender.

I respect your opinion BM, but on this I must strongly disagree.

I understand a mother’s desire to shield her children from strange men and her dating life, but your advice seems way excessive. I didn’t meet the child until four weeks in, so she did take her time to learn what kind of man I am first. She has full custody, which means her daughter is a huge part of her life. The only real way for us to progress the relationship was to include me into that part of her life. Barring that, we would be relegated to seeing each other once a week if that. She wanted more, I wanted more, so I met the daughter. And on that front it has gone extremely well for all three of us.

I agree we may have progressed too quickly with the sleeping over and whatnot, and she may need to scale back a bit to recollect herself, that may be what is happening now. But if she had completely kept the daughter from me up until the point we were almost married (theoretically), well what would that say about her trust in me? The relationship would never grow that way.

Personally I’m flattered she trusted me enough to share that part of her life with me. It means a lot.


Maybe the solution is really just to masturbate more and let things progress gradually. It just seems counterproductive for the sex life this early on to be so sparse, I guess I’m just not use to it or comfortable with it. Hopefully she starts inviting me over for more sleepovers and things pick up.

 

[Bikini Mod]

No easy answers here or in any situation that involves children.

I hope that you can all come to some sort of middleground or happy medium.

I know you are a good guy and want only good things.