I want your thoughts on this

[SoKlueles]

Okay... I may be departing from my sexual deviant self here...
Being fat is not the problem. Being fat is the result of the problem. There is something inside the person that they are not entirely happy with. Sure you could lose a lot of fat and feel better... but the problem still exists inside. If you can locate the inner problem and cure it everything else will fall into place.
There is an analogy for this:
If you burn you arm what do you do?
You put ointment on it to help it heal. You bandage it.
What you don't do is paint it skin toned. Sure it would look fine. The problem would still exist beneath the paint though. The arm would be rotting. You would have cosmeticly covered the problem. You did not cure it.
That said. I think losing wieght is important for anyone who is obese. When you see someone take control of their life and not take no for an answer... its moving.
I was almost 30% body fat when I got out of college. I ran every day. I didn't lose a pound.
I got sick of it and educated myself. I lost 53 pounds without doing any cardio. I ate properly and lifted wieghts.
I felt a little better about myself. The odd thing. I am actually more self conscious now. Because I have only a few flaws I tend to focus on them. I can no longer see the improvements I made every place else.
In the end what I realized was this. I did not think I was a good person. Nor did I think I had a lot to offer. It really wasn't how I looked that controlled how I perceived myself. It was how I felt about myself as a person...

You look at yourself and think......dang my thighs could be smaller.....or my arms could be bigger right?
your never completely happy with yourself.....i know im not

 

[slat1]

You look at yourself and think......dang my thighs could be smaller.....or my arms could be bigger right?
your never completely happy with yourself.....i know im not

I generally think about what I have done in the past that I regret. That translates to me thinking I don't look good. I have turned a corner where I know realize that my past is just that... the past. I am stronger for making it through it.
I try to concentrate on the present and future. When I do that I don't care as much where my bf% is. As long as I am being a good person that is all that matters to me now!
Now that I have exposed myself as a man in touch with his femanine side.. ladies, sex with Uncle Slat?

 

[KillzwithPillz]

I dont think losing wieght is the answer they are hoping it will be, co-worker was 460 lbs, had surgery and is down 200+ still having problems and thoughts of suicide.. that is why when I feel blue I know its more than physical mtoivation I need. "A Contented Mind Is one of man's Greatest Treasures" truely be happy and at peace with yourself and life will be what you want..

 

[HiDnGoD]

Sometimes I wonder, what can be the root cause of all of this. Here we are, a bunch of people from diverse places around the continent (globe). Different genders, racial backgrounds, ages, socio-economic histories etc. Yet we are all battling, or did battle self esteem issues. Is it a natural human condition? Or is it some sort of external influence like TV, society etc.?

 

[habitualhealth]

Okay... I may be departing from my sexual deviant self here...
Being fat is not the problem. Being fat is the result of the problem. There is something inside the person that they are not entirely happy with. Sure you could lose a lot of fat and feel better... but the problem still exists inside. If you can locate the inner problem and cure it everything else will fall into place.
There is an analogy for this:
If you burn you arm what do you do?
You put ointment on it to help it heal. You bandage it.
What you don't do is paint it skin toned. Sure it would look fine. The problem would still exist beneath the paint though. The arm would be rotting. You would have cosmeticly covered the problem. You did not cure it.
That said. I think losing wieght is important for anyone who is obese. When you see someone take control of their life and not take no for an answer... its moving.
I was almost 30% body fat when I got out of college. I ran every day. I didn't lose a pound.
I got sick of it and educated myself. I lost 53 pounds without doing any cardio. I ate properly and lifted wieghts.
I felt a little better about myself. The odd thing. I am actually more self conscious now. Because I have only a few flaws I tend to focus on them. I can no longer see the improvements I made every place else.
In the end what I realized was this. I did not think I was a good person. Nor did I think I had a lot to offer. It really wasn't how I looked that controlled how I perceived myself. It was how I felt about myself as a person...

Great post. Funny, i've had a few conversations lately with "friends" regarding this topic.

After reading everyone's posts....there are a lot of great points made. I feel like insecurties and self confidence (or lack thereof) can surface from many aspects in life....not just weight issues. I started the whole diet/workout strictness back in january to lose weight and to feel better about myself. But if/when I am completely honest about all the reasons WHY...it wasnt merely because i looked in the mirror with disgust. I've also has a childhood of parents dishing out chubby jokes, had someone I loved WITH ALL MY HEART leave for someone who had that perfect body.....want to talk about a kick start to insecurities. Have someone tell you how much they love you....BUT. I created my own insecurities based on that alone. Was I not pretty enough? Was I too fat? Was it the weight i gained with the pregancy? Why wasn't I good enough? What did I need to do to get him back? Truth be told, thinking of what I put myself through at that time in my life makes me tear up now. Like bigdawg said what's important is how you feel on the inside? I was never ugly...well, that's a lie...you should've seen me in the braces and coke bottle glasses days....but we create our own insecurities based on what we think we should be....and perhaps are not. Someone else said in the thread...reasons for insecurities differ from person to person.

I've lost ALOT of weight since Jan this year. Really transformed my entire body, but where i've argued with a few friends of mine, to get our body where we want it...takes SERIOUS time and dedication before we start seeing changes. Same with self image....it's not like *POOF* "omg, look at me, i've lost all this weight, i love me, i'm the best me I can be, oh i'm so hot, whoo hoo"...self image also takes time to change. FOR ME, I cant say I'll ever have the confidence that i WANT. 37lbs heavier/lighter....I am still humble and know where I came from. I think if everyone had an appreciation for where people are...where they came from...and just accepted them for who they really are....we'd see a rapid increase of confidence and security in the world. I'm with pintoca on this one....i think i'm more self critical now than i was before i began all this.

As for the attention aspect you all touched on....I don't think people get attention just because of their looks/weight/bod. Take EF for example, if we all look in perspective....why do you really like the people you like? Sure, we can all post pics...clothed, not clothed, flexing or not...but we've really identified with personalities, substance, wit, intellect (or lack thereof ) and is why we like who we do/dont like. I really appreciate all the compliments I get on here....but i can't rely on the EFers of america to keep my confidence high. Getting compliments..regardless of who they are from....makes ANYONE feel good. One thing I noticed about EF is that even when I posted up my heavier pics...all the gals and guys complimented me. People feed off of substance. Whether you're hot or not, skinny or fat, that's the one thing they see the most. What you are REALLY all about.

I think the biggest lie many people (not everyone) live in is "i dont care what anyone thinks about me...this is me, screw you if you dont like it". I say, do what makes you happy, make goals for yourself that are attainable, if losing weight makes you feel better about yourself, dont let anyone hinder that.

For some jacked up reason: Negative comments are always easier to believe than the positive. You can receive 1500 awesome compliments/comments in a day and have one person follow up with something negative/ugly and it void out all the other. Weird how we humans operate.

 

[SoKlueles]

Great post. Funny, i've had a few conversations lately with "friends" regarding this topic.

After reading everyone's posts....there are a lot of great points made. I feel like insecurties and self confidence (or lack thereof) can surface from many aspects in life....not just weight issues. I started the whole diet/workout strictness back in january to lose weight and to feel better about myself. But if/when I am completely honest about all the reasons WHY...it wasnt merely because i looked in the mirror with disgust. I've also has a childhood of parents dishing out chubby jokes, had someone I loved WITH ALL MY HEART leave for someone who had that perfect body.....want to talk about a kick start to insecurities. Have someone tell you how much they love you....BUT. I created my own insecurities based on that alone. Was I not pretty enough? Was I too fat? Was it the weight i gained with the pregancy? Why wasn't I good enough? What did I need to do to get him back? Truth be told, thinking of what I put myself through at that time in my life makes me tear up now. Like bigdawg said what's important is how you feel on the inside? I was never ugly...well, that's a lie...you should've seen me in the braces and coke bottle glasses days....but we create our own insecurities based on what we think we should be....and perhaps are not. Someone else said in the thread...reasons for insecurities differ from person to person.

I've lost ALOT of weight since Jan this year. Really transformed my entire body, but where i've argued with a few friends of mine, to get our body where we want it...takes SERIOUS time and dedication before we start seeing changes. Same with self image....it's not like *POOF* "omg, look at me, i've lost all this weight, i love me, i'm the best me I can be, oh i'm so hot, whoo hoo"...self image also takes time to change. FOR ME, I cant say I'll ever have the confidence that i WANT. 37lbs heavier/lighter....I am still humble and know where I came from. I think if everyone had an appreciation for where people are...where they came from...and just accepted them for who they really are....we'd see a rapid increase of confidence and security in the world. I'm with pintoca on this one....i think i'm more self critical now than i was before i began all this.

As for the attention aspect you all touched on....I don't think people get attention just because of their looks/weight/bod. Take EF for example, if we all look in perspective....why do you really like the people you like? Sure, we can all post pics...clothed, not clothed, flexing or not...but we've really identified with personalities, substance, wit, intellect (or lack thereof ) and is why we like who we do/dont like. I really appreciate all the compliments I get on here....but i can't rely on the EFers of america to keep my confidence high. Getting compliments..regardless of who they are from....makes ANYONE feel good. One thing I noticed about EF is that even when I posted up my heavier pics...all the gals and guys complimented me. People feed off of substance. Whether you're hot or not, skinny or fat, that's the one thing they see the most. What you are REALLY all about.

I think the biggest lie many people (not everyone) live in is "i dont care what anyone thinks about me...this is me, screw you if you dont like it". I say, do what makes you happy, make goals for yourself that are attainable, if losing weight makes you feel better about yourself, dont let anyone hinder that.

For some jacked up reason: Negative comments are always easier to believe than the positive. You can receive 1500 awesome compliments/comments in a day and have one person follow up with something negative/ugly and it void out all the other. Weird how we humans operate.

very good post
btw i got a snack before i read ur post

so your basically saying that our problems arent answered by losing weight if we are fat....there are other problems beneath the obesity
that everyone has their own issues with their body whether it be obesity, looks or just something htats happened in their life
i really like this post hooker

 

[alien amp pharm]

very good post
btw i got a snack before i read ur post

so your basically saying that our problems arent answered by losing weight if we are fat....there are other problems beneath the obesity
that everyone has their own issues with their body whether it be obesity, looks or just something htats happened in their life
i really like this post hooker

She's not a hooker!


...hookers charge money.


anyways, nice post HH. Good points even though I don't agree with all of them.

 

[SoKlueles]

She's not a hooker!


...hookers charge money.


anyways, nice post HH. Good points even though I don't agree with all of them.

DUDE
post your debate
this is what this thread is for

 

[alien amp pharm]

DUDE
post your debate
this is what this thread is for

heck no. I'm not getting into a debate with HH's book-long rebuttals.

 

[SoKlueles]

heck no. I'm not getting into a debate with HH's book-long rebuttals.

no shit they would close this thread because it took up too much air time