How important is intimacy to help keep a relationship healthy?

[Johnnny]

2lunatics_ina_rubber_room

Intimacy is paramount. W/O intimacy you can expect your significant other to be disinterested in sex. It's that emotional conection that drives sexual desire in a healthy relationship. My wife an I value emotional intimacy more than mere sexual gratification. We thrive on the emotional bond we share. Can't be beat bro !!

I agree, but I still say that a healthy sex life in a strong relationship is important & "SHOULD" come natural.

 

[Gymgurl]

You know talk to Soklules...she might be familar with those meds and which might be a better choice...

 

[Johnnny]

GymGurl

You know talk to Soklules...she might be familar with those meds and which might be a better choice...

Well it's already too late.

Last night she said she wants out.

The last 2 weeks that we've been apart & just talking on the phone we've actually been getting along up until last night on the phone.

She started criticising me b/c she didn't think I was working enough & when I go back to school for 1yr in my computer tech support/networking course I will only be paid 6hrs a day by my work for the time that I am at school.

She wants me to work 3-4 times a week after school which means I won't be able to go to the gym or have any time for myself.

& she criticises me for going back to school & not working full time.

What she doesn't understand is I am taking this course offered by my work to better myself & get more specialized skills to acquire a better job.

So she criticises me & then I criticise her in regards to her lack of intimacy, closeness, even an attempt to make things better, & her neglagence of not discussing it with her doctor.

Then she says she wants out & wants things to remain the way they have been for the last couple of weeks.

 

[Gymgurl]

I don't know you or her....but you don't need to be treated that way and it sounds like your getting your life together and she is not to sure about what she wants....Good luck with school and if you can remain friends do and if you can't...there are so many other women out there for you!!

 

[the-short-one]

Intimacy is pretty important as important as verbal communication.

^^^^

 

[Johnnny]

Gym Gurl

I don't know you or her....but you don't need to be treated that way and it sounds like your getting your life together and she is not to sure about what she wants....Good luck with school and if you can remain friends do and if you can't...there are so many other women out there for you!!

I would like to remain friends but she's not sure if she would be able to handle that but I'd like to be friends.

I just don't think that I've been treated as a boyfriend the last year.
& it tells me that she doesn't care what has happened if she won't even discuss her sex drive with her specialist.

I've done sooo much for her already like moving to her neighborhood 20mins away from friends & my father to bring us closer together. It was good for a few months up until after the X-Mas holidays of 2003.

We'd see eachother & have sex 2-3 times a week from August 2003-January 2004. Then I was lucky to get once a week & there would only be sex or any fooling around only once every 2-3 months.

I told her how I was feeling many times but it didn't phase her.

the-short-one

^^^^

As I said I agree that verbal communication is just as important but that was all we had for the most part.

Like I said not much intimacy or closeness.

So it made it really hard to be with her.

 

[SoKlueles]

GymGurl



What she has is Chrone's & she was on Methyltrexate for the past year but has been off it for over a month & still no change.

I've asked her to talk to her doctor about her sex drive, but she won't which tells me that she doesn't care about it anymore.

When I attempt to talk about it with her it just turns into an argument which is most of the reason why our relationship is most likely about to end.

hamstershaver



Come on are you for real you don't care about your sex drive?

If your sex drive sucks I would get an overall blood work done to make sure that you are completely healthy.

I dont know exactly what that med is, everything i have ever taken besides steroids for my Crohns disease hasnt effected my sex drive, ask hammy, i kill him
but the steroids maide me gain weight and i felt ugly and fat.....when u dont feel good about urself, i believe no matter if ur taking meds or not, your sex drive sucks, in a female

 

[Johnnny]

SoKlueless

I dont know exactly what that med is, everything i have ever taken besides steroids for my Crohns disease hasnt effected my sex drive, ask hammy, i kill him
but the steroids maide me gain weight and i felt ugly and fat.....when u dont feel good about urself, i believe no matter if ur taking meds or not, your sex drive sucks, in a female

Methyltrexate is a Cancer drug & when there is a flare up she had seemed to develop some arthritis that diminished when she began the bedication.

But I can see your point from a female's point of view not wanting sex if you don't feel good about yourself.

But I always made her feel good, but I guess it's not enough for all women?

 

[SoKlueles]

SoKlueless



Methyltrexate is a Cancer drug & when there is a flare up she had seemed to develop some arthritis that diminished when she began the bedication.

But I can see your point from a female's point of view not wanting sex if you don't feel good about yourself.

But I always made her feel good, but I guess it's not enough for all women?

Is it pentasa?
When i got that teh first time and read the side effects and read "this medicine is used to treat certain kinds of cancers" i cried
She has to feel good about herself.....i know u seem sweet in wanting to do it for her....but with me, when i took the steroids......i felt bloated and so unsexy and it didnt help with anything at all
good luck

 

[Johnnny]

SoKlueless

Is it pentasa?
When i got that teh first time and read the side effects and read "this medicine is used to treat certain kinds of cancers" i cried
She has to feel good about herself.....i know u seem sweet in wanting to do it for her....but with me, when i took the steroids......i felt bloated and so unsexy and it didnt help with anything at all
good luck

No I'm pretty sure the drug she was on is called "Methyltrexate".

Yes I understand about feeling good about herself.

But I think there's more to it than that.

& she wants out of the relationship as she says I'm putting pressure on her.

I am donig no such thing, yes I've brought up the intimacy issue as it's been 6 months now & it's greatly affected our relationship.

But this whole year I have felt more like a friend & I feel like she was pushing me towards that direction but she says she wasn't.


I truly believe that intimacy, verbal communicaction & honesty are the 3 keys to a sucessful relationship.


I also believe that if one of these 3 keys are missing & one or both parties involved aren't wiling to fix it one or all of these keys than the relationship will not last.