Hi ladies, do your men...????

[Tink!]

Hi there, i was just curious to know if any of you have ever had a fight or argument or just bickering with your significant other, and they swear afterwards they told you the issue, but you could sware they didn't??? I just want to know if any other women out there have had this experience, or perhaps i am just not getting things????

 

[wend]

I think it happens on both sides sometimes...in the heat of the moment, one or the other (or both) are too busy feeling emotion and expressing it that he/she doesn't really listen or communicate clearly. Maybe next time, try to really hear what he's saying rather than react to it. Good luck. Relationships are tough. They take a lot of work, and sometimes we have to put aside our pride (though never our self-respect) to meet our lover half-way.

 

[Tink!]

Thank you for your kind advice. I try to hard to look at both sides, but perhaps i am not always fair. It is hard with him being deployed. but again thank you, any useful tools to work on communication skills??

 

[Puddles]

I've found that writing my husband a letter (he does this too now) about important things really helps. It gives the person time to sit down and think and get their thoughts organized calmly. It doesn't come across as an attack as much that way either. We always include something good in the letter at the end too.

 

[Lady Viking]

Hi there, i was just curious to know if any of you have ever had a fight or argument or just bickering with your significant other, and they swear afterwards they told you the issue, but you could sware they didn't??? I just want to know if any other women out there have had this experience, or perhaps i am just not getting things????

All the time

I've found that writing my husband a letter (he does this too now) about important things really helps. It gives the person time to sit down and think and get their thoughts organized calmly. It doesn't come across as an attack as much that way either. We always include something good in the letter at the end too.

That´s a good one. Thanks for the advice

 

[Tink!]

Well see, we mostly talk through letters, and truthfully, i have come to hate writing letters to him, because i feel that maybe i don't write clearly, or he takes things the wrong way, so when he calls, it isn't good. I try to re read my letter a thousand times to make sure i am being clear and not attacking. But i will try to stick with it. Maybe re read an extra time. It is nice to know that i am not the only one out there that feels this way. I really really apprciate all of this!!! Thank you for all of the advice!

 

[jenscats5]

I find with my hubby, he'll do something that makes me mad so I'll say "When you do/did X, I felt Y...." yet he says he never did X in the first place!! Even when I call him on it 1 second later! He will not admit to doing that thing.....Ugh!!!

 

[Tink!]

LOL i understand your frusterationg. Have any of you read that book men are from venus women are from mars???? I hear read that it can solve any marital problem??? as long as both sides read it...lol

 

[Daisy_Girl]

Maybe instead of writing letters could you record them? Buy a small tape recorder, record a letter and send the entire thing to him. That way, you can get the words out, he can hear your voice - that can help understand the "tone" of what you are saying. Plus, it can help you two feel closer since you can hear the voices more often.

 

[Tink!]

Oh, i like that idea, thank you!