I am deeply sorry from my heart, and mind that such a great tragedy has been bestowed upon you. It nearly made tears come from my eyes when I read your words. The sorrow is so powerful, it jumped out at me. I am sure all the other brothers on elite feel this pain with you too. I am sure nobody could ever offer any word that could make this pain go away. Nothing will. She was a great woman I am sure, to give her life, for another. A truly selfless act. And I am sure if she were to have a choice, she would have done it again. She will forever be in your heart, nobody can take her away from you there. And for as long as you keep here there, she will live on. You will feel pain in life as your child grows, and she is not by your side. But trust that she is looking over, and watching. She will see every step the baby takes, and every ounce of love you give to your child. I hope as time goes on, that this great pain becomes less, and perhaps one day you will have peace of mind. Nothing you have done has caused this, nor could you ever have prevented it. My prayers go out to you. If anything is ever needed, feel free to pm me, or write to the brothers here on elite. We are all brothers in iron, and life. It means something, and we are here for you. Peace to you my friend.....