Please Scroll Down to See Forums Below
Do you ever wonder why you do it?
- Thread starter Gladiola
- Start date
VeggieLifterChick
New member
KBgirl I have the same situation. I see my boyfriend only every few months too. I met him when I was being lazy this summer so to him this whole fitness thing seems new. That's such a worry for me too, that he's going to stop being attracted to me when I get how I want to look...because that's basically what he said. (Monica Brant looks "creepy" and "masculine"...) You know breaking up with him isn't really an option if you love him. So what are you supposed to do?
Gladiola
New member
VeggieLifterChick said:
What has worked for me is to make it very clear how happy lifting & being strong makes me... conversely how I'm not happy in my own skin when I'm flabby & don't get my time in at the gym.
Also, I don't flex in his face & I don't talk about it too much (mostly cuz it bores him... he is equally considerate to me by not discussing his computer networking job at length
)That's been working for me - cuz I don't want to break up with him over my body, nor does he, but there is NO WAY I'll give up my lifting & he knows that.
VeggieLifterChick said:
Yep I hear ya grl!
well I'm not stressing over it too much right now. He's away for another 5-6 months or so and I'm just going to keep doing what I'm doing. We don't keep each other "tied down" at all (we can date other people etc..) so it's not as if I were strapped this guy who wasn't 100% supportive. He did express his support but of course made it clear he didn't like the look. Nothing you can do really. You don't have to leave him....but if he becomes a prick about and selfish then you KNOW he's the wrong dude for you. good luck sweetie
casavant
New member
Fatback said:
Not a flame, but I don't think the "larger ones" were pushing themselves very hard if they were using 15s and 20s. At the Golds where I work, seeing a decent sized guy struggle with 20s on DB presses is uncommon unless they have a jacked up rotator cuff.
Congrats on pushing yourself to the limit though.
Wow, reading some of these posts has made me realize that I am even luckier than I thought. I have one of the guys that loves that I work out and work out hard. He gets upset when I don't go to the gym. I admit, I am nothing even close to Monica Brant, nor do I have the desire to be. I do think however, that how we all feel about our bodies individually (as long as it is healthy) is what matters.
The only thing that bothers me about many people is that those who consider themselves my friends pressure me about "skipping a workout" and going on about how "one time missing" isn't going to hurt me etc. I find that disrespectful in that they don't see how important it is to me to do my time working on myself. My b/f gets the same thing and it is hard for us to find friends who completely support us and don't try and get us to hang with them instead of going to the gym etc. Do other people get this same pressure??? Does it drive you crazy too?
The only thing that bothers me about many people is that those who consider themselves my friends pressure me about "skipping a workout" and going on about how "one time missing" isn't going to hurt me etc. I find that disrespectful in that they don't see how important it is to me to do my time working on myself. My b/f gets the same thing and it is hard for us to find friends who completely support us and don't try and get us to hang with them instead of going to the gym etc. Do other people get this same pressure??? Does it drive you crazy too?
SteelWeaver
New member
I've been fighting off the evil diet undoers for WEEKS! Ever since the end of the Christmas holidays, poeple have been coming back from their holidays, and they ALL bring candies, cookies, chocolates, cakes, liquorice, etc. in LARGE bags as gifts for the office staff. They KNOW I'm on diet, they KNOW why, even want to come and watch, and yet they persist in saying "Come on, just one won't hurt - look, it has only 15 calories", or, "look, it has only 10g carbs" (I've educated some of them slightly). And the MOUNTAIN of candy keeps getting larger.
They just don't GET it. Then there are the people who want me to go drinking instead of working out. I used to be a big drinker, seldom refused - now I don't drink at all. It's very difficult for them to accept. Some of them say, "You're big enough already, now come on, just one drink - it's not gonna hurt".
Luckily, nothing short of a drastic injury would keep me away from the gym, and I'm able to smile sweetly at them and suggest we go for coffee another day.
I think they just know that they simply do not have the drive we do - or their drive lies in other directions ...
So they're jealous? I think a lot of people have a secret desire to see others fail, because then they will be vindicated in their belief that there's no point in making an effort.
They just don't GET it. Then there are the people who want me to go drinking instead of working out. I used to be a big drinker, seldom refused - now I don't drink at all. It's very difficult for them to accept. Some of them say, "You're big enough already, now come on, just one drink - it's not gonna hurt".
Luckily, nothing short of a drastic injury would keep me away from the gym, and I'm able to smile sweetly at them and suggest we go for coffee another day.
I think they just know that they simply do not have the drive we do - or their drive lies in other directions ...
So they're jealous? I think a lot of people have a secret desire to see others fail, because then they will be vindicated in their belief that there's no point in making an effort.
Gladiola
New member
killerass said:
I read the greatest quote in JANE magazine the other day (attack of the deadly boring cardio session... I had forgotten my book!)
"Another person's success is not your failure."
If only more people could believe & live that!
Anyway -
Yes, I TOTALLY understand what you're saying, Killerass. My boyfriend is awful about this - even though I have tried to explain this basic concept over & over.
He likes to have his "ME TIME" to just chill. My "ME TIME" is the gym! If he were so busy, running around, rarely home, he'd be miserable. He sees me busy... encourages me to chill & take time off & JUST DOESN'T GET IT that to me, sitting around the house is what makes me miserable. My workout time is a pleasure, not a chore.
Yes, definitely disrespectful.
Let me just say that I am a guy, am NOT a bodybuilder (not because I don't like the look, but because I am soo far behind), and enjoy working out too.
I LOVE women with muscle. LOVE it. All of it. Your woman-on-the street with biceps that flex whenever they gesture, or shoulders that look like hard oranges when she wears a tank top - I think it is absolutely beautiful.
I admire the dedication it takes to go to the gym every week. And control your desires to eat only healthful foods. I think the self-discipline it takes to will yourself through a grueling session of bench-presses or squats, day after day, KNOWING it's gonna hurt and you do it anyway because you want to master your own body, is simply awesome, inspiring and incredibly sexy. Seriously.
When I go to the gym, I find myself staring at the buffed chicks. It's probably a look of awe or amazement that could probably be mistaken for confusion or possibly disgust. But it's not. I mean, when a chick who is muscular is wearing a sportsbra and her six-pack is flexing as she pounds out some crunches it's simply mesmerizing and impossible to notice. Or when I see a woman grabbing the 35's to do dumbbell presses and she does 4 sets of 8 - MAN, that is just SOO cool. I love the look and the knowledge of how hard they must have worked to get their bodies to look like that.
I hope women like you all don't think that EVERYONE who might stare a little longer at you is thinking "ooh, gross". A lot of the men are probably thinking "man, those arms are KILLER", but just don't want to embarass you or make you think they are trying to hit on you when they would normally be in line to make a compliment.
Ladies, guys like us are OUT THERE. Go FIND one and make his life a happy one! You'll never believe how much a goddess he will probably make you feel because he loves the way you look and the muscles you've built.
Just a pep talk to all you women. Keep training hard and find out who REALLY supports you.
I LOVE women with muscle. LOVE it. All of it. Your woman-on-the street with biceps that flex whenever they gesture, or shoulders that look like hard oranges when she wears a tank top - I think it is absolutely beautiful.
I admire the dedication it takes to go to the gym every week. And control your desires to eat only healthful foods. I think the self-discipline it takes to will yourself through a grueling session of bench-presses or squats, day after day, KNOWING it's gonna hurt and you do it anyway because you want to master your own body, is simply awesome, inspiring and incredibly sexy. Seriously.
When I go to the gym, I find myself staring at the buffed chicks. It's probably a look of awe or amazement that could probably be mistaken for confusion or possibly disgust. But it's not. I mean, when a chick who is muscular is wearing a sportsbra and her six-pack is flexing as she pounds out some crunches it's simply mesmerizing and impossible to notice. Or when I see a woman grabbing the 35's to do dumbbell presses and she does 4 sets of 8 - MAN, that is just SOO cool. I love the look and the knowledge of how hard they must have worked to get their bodies to look like that.
I hope women like you all don't think that EVERYONE who might stare a little longer at you is thinking "ooh, gross". A lot of the men are probably thinking "man, those arms are KILLER", but just don't want to embarass you or make you think they are trying to hit on you when they would normally be in line to make a compliment.
Ladies, guys like us are OUT THERE. Go FIND one and make his life a happy one! You'll never believe how much a goddess he will probably make you feel because he loves the way you look and the muscles you've built.
Just a pep talk to all you women. Keep training hard and find out who REALLY supports you.
