Do you ever wonder why you do it?

[Gladiola]

So many women my age (24) like to go to the bar for happy hour after a day at the office. I can't wait to hit the iron (THEN maybe shower & head out!)

I know I'm getting some bulk on me. My boyfriend is starting to not like it. Girlfriends & other gym members are saying, "Don't get any bigger." I know some ladies see me flex & think "WHOA"

But I don't care. I my muscle. I being strong. I lifting.

I can't help but wonder--- Why?
Perhaps I'm feeling isolated cuz the only BB-chick friend I have is my sister, who lives in another state. Perhaps my ladies-only aerobics-centered gym is getting to my head. But I DO feel like a small minority in my love of muscle & pumping iron.

Do you ever feel like a strange rare breed? Don't you ever wonder why you don't think like everyone else?

 

[ann]

I think alot of times it is jealousy because they do not have the discipline needed to look as good as you

 

[Bikini Mod]

Because it feels so f****ing GOOD.

Hannibal once told me that I shouldn't explain myself; my friends don't need it and my enemies won't believe it.

(Not sure where HE heard it)

WHAT HE AND SHE SAID!

 

[Fatback]

What everyone else said! Actually I was in the gym the other day feeling a bit freakish. I go to one of those wussy spa gyms where cardio, classes and using personal trainers is the norm. I was standing in the free weight area and I felt like a monster, I mean the men, even the larger ones were doing shoulder presses with 12.5, 15 & 20 lb weights and I do the warm up with 20's. LOL It's funny because here I am 4'11, now 137lbs after bulking, currently cutting but I lift more than the 6ft 200 lb'ers in my gym. Believe me they all stare at me. But then of course, I went in to shower and well whenever I see myself naked--DAMN! it is all worth it! Sheeeeet I look gooood!

 

[NubianBeauty]

LOL @ FB

 

[KBgrl]

WOW... i JUST posted a similar thread on another board....its a lot smaller than elite. it was pretty personal so i didnt really want too many people viewing it..especially dudes. anyway.... i feel the same way!! its sooo hard for me to deal with because nobody in my personal life supports me or likes what i doing and like u ...."my man" doesnt find it attractive at all. we dont see each other for months at a time so when we see each other he always notices the difference in my body. i just saw him and he made me feel like shit! he doesnt like women with ANY kind of muscle AT ALL. hes into the skinny model look so he reallllly doesnt like the way i look right now. thing is i am still small....just have more muscle and a lil more size...im by no means "big" and now i feel like hes not sexually attracted to me anymore. whatever... im not gonna get into details but i hear u girl!! it is NOT a good feeling at all. its hard situation...especially when u luv each other ya know.

i dont know what i would do without these BB boards. it keeps me sane and true to myself.

 

[ann]

Ahhh Group hug KB

 

[KBgrl]

Ahhh Group hug KB

thx honey (for both ur respones!!!) ur a sweetheart.

 

[SteelWeaver]

KB honey - hang in there! Maybe it's time you found yourself another man - or a WOman!

As for wondering why I do it - I know EXACTLY why I do it - because it makes me feel like a ZILLION bucks, and because I now have more discipline, more focus, more clarity, more sanity - more EVERYTHING in my life than I ever had before - I'm more me than I ever knew possible.

... And boy am I starting to look good!

 

[Bikini Mod]

The very first time my daughters were TRULY proud of me was at my first bbing competition. I only got second, but I felt like I had one THE GOLD! Since then, my girls regularly volunteer to ANYONE who will stand still for more than two seconds, "MY MOM IS A BODYBUILDER!".... At first it embarrassed me, but now I revel in their pride... the only thing that will make them prouder is when I finish school..... God, that will be in like AGES.... but hey, nothing worth having is ever easily attained!

 

[Gladiola]

hey, nothing worth having is ever easily attained!

Oh, so true!
I do the same thing with my sister... Telling ppl she is a BBer with pride (I'm not lean enough to look so fantastic as her yet!)

I'm so glad some have similar feelings... makes me feel not so alone. But also glad I now have this thread to refer back to when I have these thoughts.

Fatback, I live in Baltimore. Wish you were just a little further north - I'd have a blast training with you!

<<<HUG>>> for KB!!! I'm so sorry to hear that, Hon!

 

[KBgrl]

KB honey - hang in there! Maybe it's time you found yourself another man - or a WOman!

thinkin about it..... u know the deal steel... dont make me embarass myself...

 

[Sassy69]

I wish there had been more women into lifting when I was 24 (some time back in the middle ages...). I was sort of gym geek and just went and did my little sweat session and kept to myself. I 'bonded' w/ a few guys that were regulars -- actually at that age I had just moved to a whole new state for work and didnt' know a soul for 2000 miles, but I was immediately at home in the gym. I started hanging out w/ a bunch of guys where it was a badge of honor to have the most ripped out lifting gloves LMFAO! But it was great. Excellent stress relief the source of my social life for the first couple months in a new environment.

Over the years, its still been the place where I most easily meet people and constantly amaze myself at how much I enjoy it and how relaxing / stress releasing it is. My two goals in life -- immediately to do well in a competition, and long term, to be a 90 year old granny wearing leathers, driving a Harley and listening to old KISS music. So in order to accomplish both of those, I"m gonna need a strong body (and a drool cup I guess...).

** THE STEEL IS THE DEAL **

 

[new@gettinbig]

I never wonder why I do it....I do it for myself and because I love it..would have it no other way. Those that dont like it or make comments...I could give a rats ass....who are they? Most that make comments are fat and out of shape and make no effort to hit the gym..jealousy and envy for most...I dont try to explain why I train and eat so much....you get to feeling like a broken record and those that are not in the fitness lifestlye have no fuckin clue and most of them never will so I dont even waste my time. Your boyfriend doesn't like it eh?? Probably scared you will lift more then him and have bigger legs......

 

[Arioch]

My wife was reading over my shoulder earlier and offered the following (note: she is a long-time powerlifter):

1. I do not wish to look like the rest of the women in my family.
2. I am getting older, and need to stay healthy.
3. I really do not wish to look like the older women in my family.
4. I have to keep my son and husband in line.

 

[KBgrl]

4. I have to keep my son and husband in line.

ooooo i like ur wife!!

 

[wilson6]

"I know I'm getting some bulk on me"

To me that says you're getting fat. If I were your significant other, I probably wouldn't like it either. Now, if it's muscle, that's different.

W6

 

[smoknjilly]

I think all the ladies on here look amazing!!!!!!

I do it, cause i love the look of muscles...I'm not there yet, but I wan my whole body to be defined from head to toe...

If my BF starts to not like it....then FUCK him!!

 

[Gladiola]

"I know I'm getting some bulk on me"

To me that says you're getting fat. If I were your significant other, I probably wouldn't like it either. Now, if it's muscle, that's different.

W6

Huh?
I meant "I'm getting more muscle mass on me." If I meant I'm getting fat, I would have said 'FAT' & that would be a whole different issue... I'd be like every other woman in the nation whining about my body & wanting to 'lose weight'.

If "BULK" does not = muscle, why is the process of building muscle commonly referred to as "BULKING"?
The post was about loving my muscle and loving being strong. Not loving my fat & my cookies & being a lard-ass.

 

[Fatback]

Hey Gladiola!

My next project may end up in Baltimore. If so, I'll give you a holler! I was thinking if I have to make that trek they need to get me a gym to go to! Because I miss gym time for no one and nothing and I've made that abundantly clear at my job!

 

[Bikini Mod]

If my BF starts to not like it....then FUCK him!!

Funny u should say that. My ex (who I met in the gym, we were lifting partners for ELEVEN YEARS) made the comment, "You are starting to look like a man" when I decided to begin competitive bodybuilding.....

Hence, the phrase "My ex"

HEHehaoehaoheoaheohaoheohaohoahahhahaaaaa

If your man does not find you physically appealing because of your love of lifting to me, it is no different than if he no longer finds you appealing because of the fine lines that come with time. One would hope that a relationship is based on something more than just external appearances. I mean for God's sake, you are doing something to IMPROVE yourself! You are NOT turning into a LARD ASS! SHEESH!

 

[Raina]

My Lord BikiniMom, it's like all of your posts were heaven sent to knock some sense into me lately. Thank you.

My bf and I have worked through SO much BS over the years and now he's having a fit about my lifting/diet. It's SO stupid and shallow. I told him over the weekend that if it didn't stop soon, that I would find someone who would be supportive of me. He says it's "disgusting" for women to be as built as I'd like to be. I am convinced that it has little or nothing to do with me and everything to do with him feeling insecure. It seems absurd for someone to flip out because their SO is working out and eating right. I am angry with the hypocracy of him flipping about all of this when he didn't give a damn when I was not eating or when I was purging. I want to be with someone who supports me and loves me for who I am...and if they're not going to like me with a bigger tighter body, fuck 'em.

Why do I lift?? I love it. I love how it feels when I'm doing it, I love how I feel when I'm pushing myself through the burn of the last few reps, I love seeing the amount of weight on the bar increase, and I love what it does to the appearance of my body. Lifting builds my body and my confidence. I love setting goals, and working my ass off to accomplish them. Pushing myself makes me feel empowered. This entire lifestyle makes me feel more positive.

My family is very supportive of me but my coworkers act like I've announced I'm getting racial slurs tattooed on my face. Seeing me eat like I do now and knowing I lift like I do, they are horrified-- asking why I would "wreck" my body like that. It's more annoying than upsetting. I don't value the nutritional nor fitness advise of people who are grossly out of shape.

 

[Bikini Mod]

It's SO stupid and shallow. I told him over the weekend that if it didn't stop soon, that I would find someone who would be supportive of me. He says it's "disgusting" for women to be as built as I'd like to be. I am convinced that it has little or nothing to do with me and everything to do with him feeling insecure. It seems absurd for someone to flip out because their SO is working out and eating right. I am angry with the hypocracy of him flipping about all of this when he didn't give a damn when I was not eating or when I was purging. I want to be with someone who supports me and loves me for who I am...and if they're not going to like me with a bigger tighter body, fuck 'em.

Print this out and tape it on your bathroom mirror.....

read, re-read and re-read until it sinks in!

It is ALL ABOUT HIS INSECURITY! See, it was fine when you were a skinny little waif tearing yourself down from the inside out, making your self weaker and more subserviant... but heaven forbid you should build yourself up and OH MY GOD!....ACTUALLY GET STRONGER! HEAVENS... WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?! A STRONG WOMAN - MY GOD HOW UNNATTRACTIVE IS THAT?!?!?!?!?!

 

[KBgrl]

Raina! yep i got the "disgusting" line from my man too!! i hadnt seen him for a few months so when we saw each other we were just lounging around and he felt my arm and literally freaked out on me!! "KBgrl What the fuck!?!?" then he felt my quad and it was alll down self esteem killing hill. he said my arms were getting bigger than his then he tells me "stop lifting weights... why dont u join one of the aerobics classes like women should" -- YES hes a caveman! after he acted like a 2 yr old asking me to "flex" for him (which of course i didnt!!) he calmed down and said he had no idea how "into this" i really was and that he supported me. He did say to keep going etc..and do what i wanted to do but at the same time making me feel completely unattractive. ugggggghhhhhhhh!!

Raina -- u man is pisses me off. here u are getting over and ED and he wants u to go back to starving urslef. we'll chat later about this one!!

 

[Raina]

Thanks for the support BM and KB!! I should print that out and read it over and over again. That's a good idea.

Even maybe 6 months ago I'd be upset at myself over this. I blamed everything on me. Well, I'm done with that. I'm not doing anything wrong. I could see him freaking out on me like this if I were cheating on him or something, but heaven forbid I express some initiative to improve myself and have my own life. I'm not doing anything wrong-- and I don't know why I feel so strong right now. I'm not going to sit and cry and try to change for him, he's wrong on this one. He can accept me and support me or he can kiss my ass.

For the first time I see myself in the mirror and think "damn girl, you're looking better". Yes I still have ed thoughts, but they seem to decrease every week. I don't want to be a waify sickly pathetic little thing. If he needs a weak pathetic little woman to make him feel like a big strong man, he'll have to find someone else.

It's like when he finds pictures of me from when we first started dating and comments that I looked SO good then. I always say "yeah, and other than the fact that I ate 1-2 pounds of candy a day and got sick hourly, that's a great idea". I've worked my ass off to get to the point where I look healthy-- now I'm kicking it up even more-- and if he doesn't like it, tough luck. I want to be healthy and then some.

Wow-- where did this empowered rant come from.

 

[Bikini Mod]

Raina & KBGirl - I feel you two MORE than you realize.....

Continue to surround yourself with positive reinforcement! Don't EVER let ANYONE TEAR YOU DOWN - EVER!

Remember, you have no control over other people, but YOU DO HAVE TOTAL CONTROL OVER YOUR OWN FEELINGS!

TRUST ME - I KNOW.

 

[Raina]

Alot of people ask me what my husband thinks of me, and what I'm doing. I tell them that I don't know because I've never asked him.

 

[Gladiola]

My Lord BikiniMom, it's like all of your posts were heaven sent to knock some sense into me lately. Thank you.

I so agree!

But, ladies, let me play devil's advocate for a minute here.

We are bashing men who don't like muscle... and yet, there are ladies on here who also don't find the "BBer" look appealing & prefer the 'fitness' look. We don't bash them for that opinion, right?

Personally, I admire the physique of Jenny Worth - Ms. Fitness 2001. I've read that she didn't place well in fitness competitions at first because she was TOO MUSCULAR!!! So even within fitness, too much muscle on a woman was seen as a negative thing.

One of my girlfriends saw a photo of Jenny Worth doing a pull up & thought she was gross--- masculine back. My friend is not against strong women, she is VERY strong & proud of her biceps!

The notion that very muscular women are not attractive is not necessarily synonomous with the notion that a mentally/emotionally strong women is unattractive.

I don't know about Raina's particular case, but I know that in my case, my boyfriend loves me & thinks my strength of character is wonderful. He just doesn't find big delts & biceps attractive! He likes a round ass & ample breasts. Obviously this is something many men find appealing... Playboy magazine wouldn't be so successful otherwise.

I honestly can't blame him that he is unhappy that he perceives me to be moving towards a physique that repulses him. Yes, it's good for my health. But for example, I find the physique of a competitive cyclist NASEAUTING- men with skinny arms & chests flat as boards. Even though his health would improve if he began distance cycling.. I would be just as upset if he were working towards that physique.

Our physical attraction towards each other is IMPORTANT. It's an important element of our relationship & I hope it stays that way.

I can't fathom being unconcerned with whether or not he is sexually attracted to me.

I don't think he's *wrong* that his opinion is different than mine. He likes me to be strong, he just doesn't find 'bulky muscle' to be sexy. I think this is a matter of a difference of opinion, not right vs. wrong. Hopefully we can reach a comfortable agreement (currently, I don't flex in front of him or talk about it too much & he's cool).

 

[Gladiola]

p.s. Sorry for the BOOK, but that couldn't be said in a short post, without risking being grossly misunderstood!

 

[Fatback]

Great post Gladiola. However, one thing I've undoubtedly learned in my 40 some odd years is that happiness is not an option but a God given right. If you have to change or deny any part of yourself for someone else, than you're no longer dealing in love but a competition. The fact is if you have to give up a part of yourself to appease anyone, eventually whatever feelings you do have turn into resentment. Love is about acceptance, and compromise but not if you have to give up on those things that are inherently what make you, you. Granted sexual appeal is a great factor, however, if you had to give up what you love in order to appease a man how long do you think the relationship would truly last? It may sound selfish, but as women having been taught our lives were built on self-sacrifice is a load of crap! If you're not truly happy with yourself and how your life is going, no one else can make it happen for you. Nor can they get the full effect that is you. My mom was always telling me, be softer, act like a lamb and my reply is NO, because I'm a fully evolved, self-confident, in your face - TIGER and you either love me as I am or not. Makes no difference to me because I love me enough for both of us! Not every man can deal with me, but those who do, believe me are truly blessed and I have the trophies to prove it! [Wink, Wink.] )

 

[FitFossil]

Do you ever wonder why you do it?

No, but other people do! It feels good, it looks good, and I CAN! Now it's a habit, I can't imagine NOT doing it.

I love the energy and the strength, and I love walking into my closet knowing anything will fit. I used to have "fat clothes" and "skinny clothes" and both were pretty droll and boring. I bought myself new fun clothes and gave away the rest (with my husband's blessing - LOL).

My physique is in between a fitness competitor and fitness model. This suits my frame and my goals, and there's still room for improvement w/in this. My husband and dad really like it. My mother tells me I "need to do more yoga to lengthen my muscles". (She likes the smooth tubular look of fashion models.) Sorry Mom, no can do, cus I've found a way to have my cake and EAT it too - it took me 38 years to be happy in my body, and there's no goin' back now!

 

[Gladiola]

The fact is if you have to give up a part of yourself to appease anyone, eventually whatever feelings you do have turn into resentment. Love is about acceptance, and compromise but not if you have to give up on those things that are inherently what make you, you.

Thanks, FB! Great post, I whole-heartedly agree with everything you wrote!

Matter of fact.. I tell him this all the time, "Some things I can & should change (like bad things), other things are part of me... parts I consider GOOD parts. So if you love me, you accept that! You don't have to like it, but you do have to accept it!"

I will only change what I WANT to change (and I want to change it b/c *I* think it SHOULD be changed... moodiness for example). But the stuff I view as good is there to stay & he better accept it!

Currently, although my bf doesn't exactly like my delts & bis, he accepts it. He just doesn't want me to rub his face in it by flexing in front of him (actually he doesn't think flexing is sexy for a woman at all anyway) so I'm cool with that & that's our compromise. I'm not compromising who **I** am tho!

That make sense? That sound healthy? I think it's a good healthy & strong relationship... but I've certainly been wrong before.

 

[dudelift]

Oh gladiola, god, ya gotta do it for yourself, and as for the dudes that can't take it, hell with em !!

I would be thrilled to death to be with a woman who wanted to build her body and not be afraid to show her muscle and strength, woah so sexy !!!

Muscles add so much to a woman, say so much about her, confidence, power , and some mystery , wow !!!

 

[dudelift]

God it's great to be here, where women WANT to be bigger and stronger !!!

 

[Sapphire]

To all the girls on this board....more power to ya! Especially Glad and KB....it sucks to feel so good about yourself and in one instant have someone take it away from you with a look or comment. We all work hard to feel good about the way we look, so keep your chin up and keep training.

I used to be embarassed to show my arms in public because I have a fair amount of muscle and strength too. I would see people look when I wore a tank in the summer and stopped wearing them for a while. Then I decided f**k them...I'm strong and I like it

 

[Sapphire]

Spats - agreed, but it happens more often than you'd think unfortunately. Self esteem among women is still not at its peak...I see it in many young girls striving to be model thin and beautiful, these are 10 yr old girls for gods sake! If they don't look just so, they are not in the "in" crowd....and there you have it, someone's stolen their self confidence...starts way to early and is a hard pattern to break sometimes as you get older.

 

[Hannibal]

I call bullshit. NO ONE can take anything from you....you can let them take it, but that's your own fault.

"Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent."
- Eleanor Roosevelt

 

[Gladiola]

If they don't look just so, they are not in the "in" crowd....and there you have it, someone's stolen their self confidence...starts way to early and is a hard pattern to break sometimes as you get older.

Agreed. Human Beings are social animals and EVERYONE wants to be accepted and approved of by *someone* in *some* way...

whether it's approval in the form of doing well in a contest, or at work, or approved of & accepted by our family, friends, and Significant other.

Yes, you do have to CONSENT to *let* it bother you if someon disapproves, but it's human nature to seek approval & acceptance.

 

[sheez_ripped]

Hannibel....u took the words out of my mouth!

Great minds must think alike!

I agree with what everyone else has said....gotta do what makes u happy with your body...

thank god...i have a man who luvs muscle....and doesn't care how muscular i get....he thinks Chynna is HOT! but then he's into lifting himself....we're both tall and broadshouldered...so we get some stares....but at 6'-4" 250 and me at 5'-9" 175....don't nobody say nothin to us! lol!

of course my mom hates it....but then shes a size 16.....

 

[sheez_ripped]

Spatts we were definitely separated at birth!! lol!

So who's the power lifter??? Hmmmm....inquiring minds wanna know......perhaps his name starts with a H???

Does your mom hate your muscles as much as mine??? And my mom has really narrow shoulders so she's like a 12 top with the 16 bottom.....zero muscle....complains about how even though she "diets" that she can't lose weight! I've learned to just keep my mouth shut!!!....and my Dad....does the "grapefruit juice aka Mayo Clinic" fad diet all the time....makes me wanna tear my hair out!!

oh..and in case I haven't told ya...you're looking good gurl!!!

 

[Hannibal]

He blushes easily, so I like to pick on him...I'm harmless.

A PREDATOR POSING AS A HOUSE PET!!!

 

[VeggieLifterChick]

KBgirl I have the same situation. I see my boyfriend only every few months too. I met him when I was being lazy this summer so to him this whole fitness thing seems new. That's such a worry for me too, that he's going to stop being attracted to me when I get how I want to look...because that's basically what he said. (Monica Brant looks "creepy" and "masculine"...) You know breaking up with him isn't really an option if you love him. So what are you supposed to do?

 

[Fatback]

It's an option if you love yourself.

FatBack

 

[Gladiola]

You know breaking up with him isn't really an option if you love him. So what are you supposed to do?

What has worked for me is to make it very clear how happy lifting & being strong makes me... conversely how I'm not happy in my own skin when I'm flabby & don't get my time in at the gym.

Also, I don't flex in his face & I don't talk about it too much (mostly cuz it bores him... he is equally considerate to me by not discussing his computer networking job at length )

That's been working for me - cuz I don't want to break up with him over my body, nor does he, but there is NO WAY I'll give up my lifting & he knows that.

 

[KBgrl]

KBgirl I have the same situation. I see my boyfriend only every few months too. I met him when I was being lazy this summer so to him this whole fitness thing seems new. That's such a worry for me too, that he's going to stop being attracted to me when I get how I want to look...because that's basically what he said. (Monica Brant looks "creepy" and "masculine"...) You know breaking up with him isn't really an option if you love him. So what are you supposed to do?

Yep I hear ya grl! well I'm not stressing over it too much right now. He's away for another 5-6 months or so and I'm just going to keep doing what I'm doing. We don't keep each other "tied down" at all (we can date other people etc..) so it's not as if I were strapped this guy who wasn't 100% supportive. He did express his support but of course made it clear he didn't like the look. Nothing you can do really. You don't have to leave him....but if he becomes a prick about and selfish then you KNOW he's the wrong dude for you. good luck sweetie

 

[casavant]

What everyone else said! Actually I was in the gym the other day feeling a bit freakish. I go to one of those wussy spa gyms where cardio, classes and using personal trainers is the norm. I was standing in the free weight area and I felt like a monster, I mean the men, even the larger ones were doing shoulder presses with 12.5, 15 & 20 lb weights and I do the warm up with 20's. LOL It's funny because here I am 4'11, now 137lbs after bulking, currently cutting but I lift more than the 6ft 200 lb'ers in my gym. Believe me they all stare at me. But then of course, I went in to shower and well whenever I see myself naked--DAMN! it is all worth it! Sheeeeet I look gooood!

Not a flame, but I don't think the "larger ones" were pushing themselves very hard if they were using 15s and 20s. At the Golds where I work, seeing a decent sized guy struggle with 20s on DB presses is uncommon unless they have a jacked up rotator cuff.

Congrats on pushing yourself to the limit though.

 

[killerass]

Wow, reading some of these posts has made me realize that I am even luckier than I thought. I have one of the guys that loves that I work out and work out hard. He gets upset when I don't go to the gym. I admit, I am nothing even close to Monica Brant, nor do I have the desire to be. I do think however, that how we all feel about our bodies individually (as long as it is healthy) is what matters.
The only thing that bothers me about many people is that those who consider themselves my friends pressure me about "skipping a workout" and going on about how "one time missing" isn't going to hurt me etc. I find that disrespectful in that they don't see how important it is to me to do my time working on myself. My b/f gets the same thing and it is hard for us to find friends who completely support us and don't try and get us to hang with them instead of going to the gym etc. Do other people get this same pressure??? Does it drive you crazy too?

 

[SteelWeaver]

I've been fighting off the evil diet undoers for WEEKS! Ever since the end of the Christmas holidays, poeple have been coming back from their holidays, and they ALL bring candies, cookies, chocolates, cakes, liquorice, etc. in LARGE bags as gifts for the office staff. They KNOW I'm on diet, they KNOW why, even want to come and watch, and yet they persist in saying "Come on, just one won't hurt - look, it has only 15 calories", or, "look, it has only 10g carbs" (I've educated some of them slightly). And the MOUNTAIN of candy keeps getting larger.

They just don't GET it. Then there are the people who want me to go drinking instead of working out. I used to be a big drinker, seldom refused - now I don't drink at all. It's very difficult for them to accept. Some of them say, "You're big enough already, now come on, just one drink - it's not gonna hurt".

Luckily, nothing short of a drastic injury would keep me away from the gym, and I'm able to smile sweetly at them and suggest we go for coffee another day.

I think they just know that they simply do not have the drive we do - or their drive lies in other directions ... So they're jealous? I think a lot of people have a secret desire to see others fail, because then they will be vindicated in their belief that there's no point in making an effort.

 

[Gladiola]

The only thing that bothers me about many people is that those who consider themselves my friends pressure me about "skipping a workout" and going on about how "one time missing" isn't going to hurt me etc. I find that disrespectful in that they don't see how important it is to me to do my time working on myself.

I read the greatest quote in JANE magazine the other day (attack of the deadly boring cardio session... I had forgotten my book!)

"Another person's success is not your failure."

If only more people could believe & live that!

Anyway -
Yes, I TOTALLY understand what you're saying, Killerass. My boyfriend is awful about this - even though I have tried to explain this basic concept over & over.

He likes to have his "ME TIME" to just chill. My "ME TIME" is the gym! If he were so busy, running around, rarely home, he'd be miserable. He sees me busy... encourages me to chill & take time off & JUST DOESN'T GET IT that to me, sitting around the house is what makes me miserable. My workout time is a pleasure, not a chore.
Yes, definitely disrespectful.

 

[jeffsket]

Let me just say that I am a guy, am NOT a bodybuilder (not because I don't like the look, but because I am soo far behind), and enjoy working out too.

I LOVE women with muscle. LOVE it. All of it. Your woman-on-the street with biceps that flex whenever they gesture, or shoulders that look like hard oranges when she wears a tank top - I think it is absolutely beautiful.

I admire the dedication it takes to go to the gym every week. And control your desires to eat only healthful foods. I think the self-discipline it takes to will yourself through a grueling session of bench-presses or squats, day after day, KNOWING it's gonna hurt and you do it anyway because you want to master your own body, is simply awesome, inspiring and incredibly sexy. Seriously.

When I go to the gym, I find myself staring at the buffed chicks. It's probably a look of awe or amazement that could probably be mistaken for confusion or possibly disgust. But it's not. I mean, when a chick who is muscular is wearing a sportsbra and her six-pack is flexing as she pounds out some crunches it's simply mesmerizing and impossible to notice. Or when I see a woman grabbing the 35's to do dumbbell presses and she does 4 sets of 8 - MAN, that is just SOO cool. I love the look and the knowledge of how hard they must have worked to get their bodies to look like that.

I hope women like you all don't think that EVERYONE who might stare a little longer at you is thinking "ooh, gross". A lot of the men are probably thinking "man, those arms are KILLER", but just don't want to embarass you or make you think they are trying to hit on you when they would normally be in line to make a compliment.

Ladies, guys like us are OUT THERE. Go FIND one and make his life a happy one! You'll never believe how much a goddess he will probably make you feel because he loves the way you look and the muscles you've built.

Just a pep talk to all you women. Keep training hard and find out who REALLY supports you.