You just contradicted yourself in the same sentence.
I'm sure both parties involved in foot fetishes or scat come away completely happy and unharmed.
There's a difference between rough sex, or even a playful very toned down type rape fantasy (i.e. most of it is verbal playfulness, and you just hold her down a little, and she resists at first )...
and some of the stuff you girls are talking about.
Anything where you need a safe word obviously means things can go too far or you might be in danger. that's fucked up, sorry. Anything where i could severely hurt my gf/wife or she could hurt me, is not worth me getting my nut over. If i want adventure, i'll go have sex in public places where you might get caught, or do harmless role playing(hot housekeeper, hooker etc) that doesn't involve me beating the fuck out of my girlfriend or vice versa.