Am I the only girl that feels this way??

[Carmen]

so don't change it.
I didn't really HAVE a last name before i got married- mom changed my maiden name and then married and divorced my stepfather- the name on my birth certificate wasn't the name i grew up using and nobody had THAT last name.
my married name sounds awesome- like i made it up, so i like it.

 

[Werd]

The "Honey, could I keep my maiden name or perhaps hyphenate our last names" conversation lasted about 2 seconds w/my exhusband. One wonders why he is the EXhusband.. LOL ALL MY STUPIDITY.

I kept my married name, however, as it is the last name I share with my children. The thought to change it back after my divorce never entered my mind because even though there is no human on the face of this earth that I despise more than my ex - I wouldn't want to hurt my kids or make them feel alienated.

When I remarry I will either keep my children's names or if my beau likes, I will hyphenate (sorry if this pisses anyone off. honestly, if you don't like it, ignore it and call me silly! ). If my husband prefers I make the choice, then I will cross that bridge when I come to it.

If you REALLY feel that strongly about it and he does not recognize the importance of this to YOU (I mean, keeping your name) I may sound silly, but to me at least - THAT IS A BAD SIGN.

For the record, I am all about the white picket fence and dont begrudge any one that happiness. For me though, having been through an unbelievable divorce/custody battle wringer THE ONLY reason to legally remarry is for the happiness and security of my children. Me, I don't NEED a piece of paper to validate my union... been there/done that.

 

[FigureSkater]

I you retyped that whole thing, but replaced "marriage' with "kids" that would be me.....LOL....You don't know how many people love to argue with you when they find out you won't be having children.....

Yeah, those too...but my anti-kidness falls within my anti-marriageness since I'm so set on having to do things in the "right" order

 

[Daisy_Girl]

There is NOTHING that says you have to change your name. There is no reason to do so if you do not want to. Like Werd said, if your SO doesn't accept your decision - then that is another issue.

I thought I would change my name without a second thought, but lately I am reconsidering. Mostly because I am a teacher and the kids know me as my maiden name. My SO could care less what I do - he said it is totally my decision. He thinks I should leave it because it is too much trouble to change it, lol.

 

[the wife]

Well, you know alot of women are not changing their last names now when they marry. I think that with all of the lifestyle changes, etc. it has been become not such a big deal than, say, 10-15 years ago and longer where it way faux pa if you didn't take your husbands name. Simplify the situation...it's just name... do what's comfortable to YOU, not someone else. It's your name .....right?

 

[nvrbuffenuff_girl]

The new trend in married couples is actually combining last names to come up with a new last name. That way neither party has to take the other's last name.

That's what my ex fiance and I were going to do. His last name was Phaneuf. We combined his and mine and came up with Phancero. Which he legally changed his name to when we were still newly engaged. Although we aren't together anymore he still has that last name and actually likes it.

 

[wend]

Personally, I was happy to change my last name...it was easily confused with a slang term for a feminine protection product! (Ugh, you should have heard the lame jokes I put up with in Jr. High...no wonder I ended up so tough.) And Maj's last name is wonderful...I'm happy to share it with him.

But I agree with Werd...if it's important to you to retain it and your SO won't see eye-to-eye on it, then I think you should think twice about going through with the wedding. I wouldn't want to be with someone who was very controlling. Brunette, we don't have a pickett fence, but we've got two kids, two dogs, and two cats. I'm not really pro- or anti-marriage, though. I just sorta think people should do whatever they think is right for them.

 

[dirty~d~]

No one says you have to change it. The greatest thing about the new millenium is we can now make our own traditions. Make him take your name.

 

[Sassy69]

I'm not real excited about my last name & would gladly consider other options, assuming they are better or at least no worse than my name Both my mom & my sister-in-law actually moved up the ladder when they took our family name, my other sister-in-law, debatable. At least the family name is shorter than her maiden name.

 

[Werd]

No one says you have to change it. The greatest thing about the new millenium is we can now make our own traditions. Make him take your name.

I REALLY like this suggestion!!!