Am I the only girl that feels this way??

[gypsy]

I'm getting married in 2.5 months and I HHAAATTEEEE the fact that I have to change my name. What the hell, I pay half the bills (actually, more than half), we no longer live in a world where the man owns the woman, so why do we still change our names to his, as if he is our owner? It pisses me off so bad, enough that I would almost not want to get married because of it. You lose your whole identity! I was married once before and never changed my name at, didn't even hyphenate. This guy is much more..... macho, manly, controlling. Yeah, he's cool and all and I love him, but couldn't get away with that this time. Why do some women accept it so easily, and others don't??

 

[MissJanet79]

You're definitely not alone! I'm like you, I pay more than half of bills etc. & times have changed! My b/f really doesn't care about me changing my last name because he says my last name is a lot nicer...but you know tradition says we should change it. & I'm not crazy about hyphenations either... Ayyy! No fair!

 

[jenscats5]

You know, I never really thought about it. I never liked my maiden name, so when I got married the 1st time, I changed it. Then kept that till I got married the 2nd time & changed it again. I like this last name much better than the previous 2.....

 

[Lady Viking]

...but you know tradition says we should change it.

I won´t change my name when I´m getting married. Screw the traditions!!

 

[FigureSkater]

I don't really like my last name because it's always either pronounced or spelled wrong, so I wouldn't mind changing it, although getting married won't happen for a LONG time here...but I definately see where you're coming from.

I am, however, anti-marriage. I have what my roommates have titled "Sex and the City Syndrome." I'm 23, and a lot of my friends are starting to get married. I, on the other hand, have NO desire to do so whatsoever in the near future. (I say not until I'm 30). I'm in graduate school, not sure where I'm going or what I'm doing from here, and I'm perfectly happy doing what I want, living with two of my best friends, and spending all my money (or what little of it that I have) on myself! My friends who are married all say "I"ll come around" or "my time is coming soon" but I beg to differ. Just because I have a wonderful boyfriend who I've been with for a few years doesn't mean I want to get married any time this decade. Frankly I HATE how my married friends act like they're some part of some special club now. Like they can't have fun with their single friends any more because "that's not their life now." One of my recently married friends and I no longer speak because she started acting like she was somehow better than all of us lowly unmarried people the minute she got engaged. Ugh. And even if/when I do decide to get married, I will probably be too darn lazy to plan a wedding. I don't see the point in all the craziness. I'd much rather elope or do something short/sweet/small, go on a nice long trip someplace warm, and put the $ that would have been spent on a reception toward a house or something more practical. But that's just me

Wow, that sounds so Carrie Bradshaw

 

[velvett]

I don't really like my last name because it's always either pronounced or spelled wrong, so I wouldn't mind changing it, although getting married won't happen for a LONG time here...but I definately see where you're coming from.

I am, however, anti-marriage. I have what my roommates have titled "Sex and the City Syndrome." I'm 23, and a lot of my friends are starting to get married. I, on the other hand, have NO desire to do so whatsoever in the near future. (I say not until I'm 30). I'm in graduate school, not sure where I'm going or what I'm doing from here, and I'm perfectly happy doing what I want, living with two of my best friends, and spending all my money (or what little of it that I have) on myself! My friends who are married all say "I"ll come around" or "my time is coming soon" but I beg to differ. Just because I have a wonderful boyfriend who I've been with for a few years doesn't mean I want to get married any time this decade. Frankly I HATE how my married friends act like they're some part of some special club now. Like they can't have fun with their single friends any more because "that's not their life now." One of my recently married friends and I no longer speak because she started acting like she was somehow better than all of us lowly unmarried people the minute she got engaged. Ugh. And even if/when I do decide to get married, I will probably be too darn lazy to plan a wedding. I don't see the point in all the craziness. I'd much rather elope or do something short/sweet/small, go on a nice long trip someplace warm, and put the $ that would have been spent on a reception toward a house or something more practical. But that's just me

Wow, that sounds so Carrie Bradshaw

I could have wrote that.
Actually I have but well, different.




Very nice.

 

[velvett]

I have three last names (from birth all from my father) and it's heavy on the ethnic side of which is always mispronounced and spelled. Most of my life I looked forward to adopting another name or changing my own but as I've gotten older I've become a tab bit more clingly to my name. (career reasons and father reasons)

 

[jenscats5]

I don't really like my last name because it's always either pronounced or spelled wrong, so I wouldn't mind changing it, although getting married won't happen for a LONG time here...but I definately see where you're coming from.

I am, however, anti-marriage. I have what my roommates have titled "Sex and the City Syndrome." I'm 23, and a lot of my friends are starting to get married. I, on the other hand, have NO desire to do so whatsoever in the near future. (I say not until I'm 30). I'm in graduate school, not sure where I'm going or what I'm doing from here, and I'm perfectly happy doing what I want, living with two of my best friends, and spending all my money (or what little of it that I have) on myself! My friends who are married all say "I"ll come around" or "my time is coming soon" but I beg to differ. Just because I have a wonderful boyfriend who I've been with for a few years doesn't mean I want to get married any time this decade. Frankly I HATE how my married friends act like they're some part of some special club now. Like they can't have fun with their single friends any more because "that's not their life now." One of my recently married friends and I no longer speak because she started acting like she was somehow better than all of us lowly unmarried people the minute she got engaged. Ugh. And even if/when I do decide to get married, I will probably be too darn lazy to plan a wedding. I don't see the point in all the craziness. I'd much rather elope or do something short/sweet/small, go on a nice long trip someplace warm, and put the $ that would have been spent on a reception toward a house or something more practical. But that's just me

Wow, that sounds so Carrie Bradshaw

I you retyped that whole thing, but replaced "marriage' with "kids" that would be me.....LOL....You don't know how many people love to argue with you when they find out you won't be having children.....

 

[brunette]

i must the only one here pro-marriage, kiddies, two dogs and 5 cats, including the white picket fence lol.

name change is so anachronistic, its just simply tradition. you're just too feminist gypsy

have you spoken to your SO about this? how about a double-barelled name, showing a partnership?

 

[DivaDawn]

Ive always been nervous/felt odd about this as well. I like my last name! I dont want to change it lol. Then again, I dont like when people use the double last name deal; it just irks me.