2 good stories from the last couple days.

[Fitguy308]

Tougher than a box of nails

 

[ceo]

How tough are you?

like an old strip of shoe leather.

 

[WoodyO]

First story:

Last night at the gym (I don't actually workout) I am gettin warmed up on bench.

I have 135 on the bar, and I'm doing some slow deep reps to get loose and stretch a bit.

This skrawny faggot comes over and grabs the bar when I'm half way up after like 7 reps, pulls it up and racks it.

I get up, turn around and look at him without saying a word.

This faggot says to me "If you need a spot, just ask next time."

Thanks to you guys, the first words out of my mouth are "Who the fuck do you think you are!?"

He fumbles his words because he didn't know what to say.

I feel bad for swearing at the guy cuz I usually keep real cool about dumb crap like this.

So, I just start laughing because I didn't know what else to do. Then I said "Dude, I'm just messing with you, relax. I'm just warming up and going slow. Thanks for the help but by the looks of me, I can handle myself."

He just walked off.

In reality, I wanted to kick this faggot through the wall, but whatever.





Second story, from tonight.

I'm at the dojo and doing some sparring. It's been a while so my reactions were not that crisp but I'm doing alright I suppose.

I'm going against some 18 yo kid, and he's actually pretty well skilled.

He lands a solid cross right on the nose as a slip-counter and gives me a bloody nose. I just stuff tissue up my nose and we keep going. Then he punches me right in the eye socket.

I always go half speed with the younger guys cuz I don't want to be a prick and hurt somebody, but this kid, who I have trained with a lot is now taller than me and quick, and he's going 100% and I'm trying to not bang him up and just land solid using technique and timing.

He slams me with a hard leg kick, illegal in karate sparring but we also do mma rules, so I'm not even watching my legs and he lands one hard. If you've felt a proper hard kick before, you know it hurts like crazy.

So, after 9 minutes of sparring, we take a quick break and he's talking with our instructor telling him he's beating me finally. I hear him and thought to myself, this kid needs some humble pie.

Now, I'm right-handed but my stance is southpaw,(right foot forward) and he stands the opposite.

I wait for him to throw a high lead round kick with his left, and I slip aside and counter with a spinning hook kick with my right and throw it hard, a la Edson Barboza vs. Terry Etim. I landed it right into his chin and knocked him off his feet onto his back and he's a bit delirious. Didn't KO him, but he was rocked.

He gets up and shakes it off and we quit from there.

So, I say to him: "If you go 100%, so will I. I'm cool with it, but just know that if you want to spar rough, that's how you'll get it in return."

He said "That's cool. I just like sparring against you and your brother because you are a challenge and I have to give 100% to compete."

Then I said "That's fine. Just remember, you're not 14 anymore. You can hit hard and it hurts. I didn't expect that. I don't care that you busted up my nose, but if that's how we're going to do it, I'll return the favor."

He's a cool kid and we're bros, but I thought it was funny he was excited about "beating" me and then getting floored.

I'm not trying to say I'm some tough hardazz for doing that, it was just funny that's all.

Nice fake righteous life. You are not allowed to preach anymore.

 

[miplank]

lol

 

[WoodyO]

I've got a pretty good story too. I took yesterday off of work, and somebody placed a quart of Cranberry aloe vera juice in my office fridge. It says "may act as a natural laxative", so I drank pretty much the whole thing today. I'll post pics when the aftermath comes.

 

[burnthiscorpse]

I've got a pretty good story too. I took yesterday off of work, and somebody placed a quart of Cranberry aloe vera juice in my office fridge. It says "may act as a natural laxative", so I drank pretty much the whole thing today. I'll post pics when the aftermath comes.

Nice. I bet Nan will be in for the pics if this turns into a poop thread.

 

[Dial_tone]

Should have given the first guy a round house kick.

 

[Aplopez8]

I have a story .. When I was at a house party I got really drunk .. I had gone with a girl I was talking to from work but she had to go home early cuz she was in high school still . She's 18 though .. So I was there at the party and this chubby girl about 5 foot even started talking to me about sex . I had never really been with a chubbier chick so I was kind of down to smoosh this girl just to see what's up and why black guys like chubby girls so much . So we ended up in my car and I started smashing her and I was really drunk and went down on her when I started to taste blood I was like wtf.. It was dark so I couldn't really see but the taste was so gross but the horny drunk that I was turned her around and put it in her ass .. She must have taken it in the ass before cuz it didn't hurt her to much .. I went at it in her ass for about 5 min then she stoppe me cuz it was starting to hurt .. I didn't want to do her in the vag so I said I was done . She got out of my car . She asked if I was going to walk her and I was like fk no . She's said dick and walked off . As I drove off I saw a huge pool of blood on my car seat . It was gross! She said she wasn't on her period so idk wtf was up with that .. Needless to stay I'll just stick with my skinny girls

 

[C0LUMB0]

First story:

Last night at the gym (I don't actually workout) I am gettin warmed up on bench.

I have 135 on the bar, and I'm doing some slow deep reps to get loose and stretch a bit.

This skrawny faggot comes over and grabs the bar when I'm half way up after like 7 reps, pulls it up and racks it.

I get up, turn around and look at him without saying a word.

This faggot says to me "If you need a spot, just ask next time."

Thanks to you guys, the first words out of my mouth are "Who the fuck do you think you are!?"

He fumbles his words because he didn't know what to say.

I feel bad for swearing at the guy cuz I usually keep real cool about dumb crap like this.

So, I just start laughing because I didn't know what else to do. Then I said "Dude, I'm just messing with you, relax. I'm just warming up and going slow. Thanks for the help but by the looks of me, I can handle myself."

He just walked off.

In reality, I wanted to kick this faggot through the wall, but whatever.





Second story, from tonight.

I'm at the dojo and doing some sparring. It's been a while so my reactions were not that crisp but I'm doing alright I suppose.

I'm going against some 18 yo kid, and he's actually pretty well skilled.

He lands a solid cross right on the nose as a slip-counter and gives me a bloody nose. I just stuff tissue up my nose and we keep going. Then he punches me right in the eye socket.

I always go half speed with the younger guys cuz I don't want to be a prick and hurt somebody, but this kid, who I have trained with a lot is now taller than me and quick, and he's going 100% and I'm trying to not bang him up and just land solid using technique and timing.

He slams me with a hard leg kick, illegal in karate sparring but we also do mma rules, so I'm not even watching my legs and he lands one hard. If you've felt a proper hard kick before, you know it hurts like crazy.

So, after 9 minutes of sparring, we take a quick break and he's talking with our instructor telling him he's beating me finally. I hear him and thought to myself, this kid needs some humble pie.

Now, I'm right-handed but my stance is southpaw,(right foot forward) and he stands the opposite.

I wait for him to throw a high lead round kick with his left, and I slip aside and counter with a spinning hook kick with my right and throw it hard, a la Edson Barboza vs. Terry Etim. I landed it right into his chin and knocked him off his feet onto his back and he's a bit delirious. Didn't KO him, but he was rocked.

He gets up and shakes it off and we quit from there.

So, I say to him: "If you go 100%, so will I. I'm cool with it, but just know that if you want to spar rough, that's how you'll get it in return."

He said "That's cool. I just like sparring against you and your brother because you are a challenge and I have to give 100% to compete."

Then I said "That's fine. Just remember, you're not 14 anymore. You can hit hard and it hurts. I didn't expect that. I don't care that you busted up my nose, but if that's how we're going to do it, I'll return the favor."

He's a cool kid and we're bros, but I thought it was funny he was excited about "beating" me and then getting floored.

I'm not trying to say I'm some tough hardazz for doing that, it was just funny that's all.

Be honest bro, after the kid busted your nose in the dojo he pulled off a rubber mask ala scooby doo and it turns out ....it was really the skinny faggot from the gym.

 

[wootoom]

90% of this forum is smart mouth

100% of you bugs the shit out me