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Perfect site for a legal question =/

jnevin

jnevin

New member
I'm thinking of taking my daughter and moving back home to Philly. I lost everything I've ever had here aside from Q, and if I keep going on like I am she's just going to be fucked when she gets older. I have zero support out here, limited "help" from her mom, my family (pretty awesome) never gets to see her, and I just feel that there's no opportunity for me here anymore.

Anyhoo, I have sole custody of the little critter, joint legal and physical. I know her mom loves her, but she's not doing anything with her life and the older she gets, the worse it's going to be for her. Female personal trainers in their 40's without a HS diploma don't have a ton of options. Anyone in a similar situation done this, and how did it go? What kind of legal bs am I going to have to deal with?
 
none, you have sole custody
she'd have to stand up and fight and you know she wont


BUT, you're going to have to set up some sort of long term visitation like over summer vacation
I know you love that loss of control for a prolonged period of time so much
 
Yeah, I've been thinking about that. Kinda sucks, because the beach was my favorite part of summer. I hate being away from her overnight, let alone for weeks or months at a time.
 
I set it up for Hannah that she does some holidays at her Dad's and a portion of summer vacation that mutually agreed on

I'm supposed to be driving her down there in July this year and staying for a week myself...
but I'm on decent terms with the guy ya know?
 
jnevin said:
I'm thinking of taking my daughter and moving back home to Philly. I lost everything I've ever had here aside from Q, and if I keep going on like I am she's just going to be fucked when she gets older. I have zero support out here, limited "help" from her mom, my family (pretty awesome) never gets to see her, and I just feel that there's no opportunity for me here anymore.

Anyhoo, I have sole custody of the little critter, joint legal and physical. I know her mom loves her, but she's not doing anything with her life and the older she gets, the worse it's going to be for her. Female personal trainers in their 40's without a HS diploma don't have a ton of options. Anyone in a similar situation done this, and how did it go? What kind of legal bs am I going to have to deal with?
Click to expand...

Do it while shes young enough to adjust eaisly. Real Talk

Sent from my SCH-I535 using EliteFitness
 
I have sole custody as well. I still had to hire a lawyer and go in front of the judge with all kinds of documentation as to why it was a good idea to move my son across the country. Lucky for me, my ex was "convinced" not to even show up and fight my petition.
 
Strongbow said:
Do it while shes young enough to adjust eaisly. Real Talk

Sent from my SCH-I535 using EliteFitness
Click to expand...

Yeah, that's what I'm thinking too. It just sucks when she asks where her mom is and she's only a couple of miles away. When she starts kindergarten she'll almost never see her.

I just have nothing out here.
 
smurf2 said:
I have sole custody as well. I still had to hire a lawyer and go in front of the judge with all kinds of documentation as to why it was a good idea to move my son across the country. Lucky for me, my ex was "convinced" not to even show up and fight my petition.
Click to expand...

What kind of documentation? If you don't want to get into it here, PM or phone is culo.
 
jnevin said:
What kind of documentation? If you don't want to get into it here, PM or phone is culo.
Click to expand...

I had to do research on the educational (one of the too school districts in the country) and recreational/athletic (park district) activities that would be available to him in the new place. The judge also wanted to know if i had a job lined up (i didnt at that point, but i was close) and what my support system would be in the new place (childcare, family nearby, etc)
 
Oh and of course we had to offer a reasonable visitation plan which included several weeks in the summer, spring and winter break, etc
That was hard. He was 7 or 8 when he started flying alone (terrifying for the parent btw)
 
smurf2 said:
I had to do research on the educational (one of the too school districts in the country) and recreational/athletic (park district) activities that would be available to him in the new place. The judge also wanted to know if i had a job lined up (i didnt at that point, but i was close) and what my support system would be in the new place (childcare, family nearby, etc)
Click to expand...

*two

This should all be easy to cover. Plus, the ex signed court docs acknowledging the fact that she drugged my Q with benadryl, and a preschool teacher was just charged with doing that in NJ recently.
 
jnevin said:
*two

This should all be easy to cover. Plus, the ex signed court docs acknowledging the fact that she drugged my Q with benadryl, and a preschool teacher was just charged with doing that in NJ recently.
Click to expand...

Actually, the proper correction would have been *top
 
Per the usual I cant offer anything even relating to value...just wanted to let you know I very much hope this all works out in your favor. Best of luck.
 
jnevin said:
Yeah, that's what I'm thinking too. It just sucks when she asks where her mom is and she's only a couple of miles away. When she starts kindergarten she'll almost never see her.

I just have nothing out here.
Click to expand...

It will sux even worse when she's ten and she understands that mommy could see her at any time and chooses not to. This will probably sound stupid to you, but by moving now she will be better off in so many ways that you are probably not even seeing. Ironically you will probably be salvaging some kind of relationship for her and her mother in the future by putting the distance between them and therefore saving some face for her mother, assuming she eventually wakes up and relizes what a complete bitch she has been. You're buying her mother time and giving her an excuse, but remember it's in Q's best intrest and that's all that really matters. The last thing any child needs is to grow up and feel unwanted by either parent. Trust me on this I've seen it's affects on children and they are everlasting. Moving and letting her have your family to support you and her is the best thing bro beans. She will adjust and having the distance between her and her mother will become the norm, she will understand it as she gets older, but mommy not being there will be because mommy lives far off, not because mommy don;t love me. I know that may seem like you are giving mommy an out and you will be, but it will be the easiest thing for Q.
 
Jebus....since when has StrongMo been so insightful?

Good call, broheim.
 
Strongbow said:
It will sux even worse when she's ten and she understands that mommy could see her at any time and chooses not to. This will probably sound stupid to you, but by moving now she will be better off in so many ways that you are probably not even seeing. Ironically you will probably be salvaging some kind of relationship for her and her mother in the future by putting the distance between them and therefore saving some face for her mother, assuming she eventually wakes up and relizes what a complete bitch she has been. You're buying her mother time and giving her an excuse, but remember it's in Q's best intrest and that's all that really matters. The last thing any child needs is to grow up and feel unwanted by either parent. Trust me on this I've seen it's affects on children and they are everlasting. Moving and letting her have your family to support you and her is the best thing bro beans. She will adjust and having the distance between her and her mother will become the norm, she will understand it as she gets older, but mommy not being there will be because mommy lives far off, not because mommy don;t love me. I know that may seem like you are giving mommy an out and you will be, but it will be the easiest thing for Q.
Click to expand...

who are you and what have you done with SB?
 
75th said:
Jebus....since when has StrongMo been so insightful?

Good call, broheim.
Click to expand...

Seen three kids go through this shit. My wife's sister was a complete fucking piece of shit. The only thing that ever gave those kids peac.was the fact that she moved to Tampa. It's a hard ass pill for a lil girl to swollow when she knows mommy ain't here cause she's drunk and high and suxing random cock for her next fix. It's a helluva lot easier for a kid to say mommy lives in Bum Fuck Egypt. Nev's case may not be this extreme, but regardless an absentee parent is all the same. Moving will allow Q to grow up with some stability in here day to day life, without having to deal with her mother's issues. Just giving some info in regaruds to what I have seen. I love Nevin and wish only the best for him and his lil girl. He's a great father, not every man can raise a lil girl, my hat is off to the brutha.
 
yeah...all of my oldest daughters problems were due to on and off again parenting from her Dad
now she knows with impunity that he's a total and complete scumbag but it would have been a lot easier for her if he had just disappeared
 
shirlene29 said:
yeah...all of my oldest daughters problems were due to on and off again parenting from her Dad
now she knows with impunity that he's a total and complete scumbag but it would have been a lot easier for her if he had just disappeared
Click to expand...


for the right price, I know a guy...
 
shirlene29 said:
who are you and what have you done with SB?
Click to expand...

Just speaking from the heart of SB the parent.I love kids, and they will reflect the emvironment that they have been raised in. Giving a child stability is always in their best intrest.
 
Strongbow said:
It will sux even worse when she's ten and she understands that mommy could see her at any time and chooses not to. This will probably sound stupid to you, but by moving now she will be better off in so many ways that you are probably not even seeing. Ironically you will probably be salvaging some kind of relationship for her and her mother in the future by putting the distance between them and therefore saving some face for her mother, assuming she eventually wakes up and relizes what a complete bitch she has been. You're buying her mother time and giving her an excuse, but remember it's in Q's best intrest and that's all that really matters. The last thing any child needs is to grow up and feel unwanted by either parent. Trust me on this I've seen it's affects on children and they are everlasting. Moving and letting her have your family to support you and her is the best thing bro beans. She will adjust and having the distance between her and her mother will become the norm, she will understand it as she gets older, but mommy not being there will be because mommy lives far off, not because mommy don;t love me. I know that may seem like you are giving mommy an out and you will be, but it will be the easiest thing for Q.
Click to expand...

WTF... anyone else notice this wigger is becoming more w...than igger?
 
Never been a fucking wigger in my life, I just know some niggas from the hood.
 
billfred said:
You have been an internet wigger ever since you showed up here. Well, until recently.
Click to expand...

Bor beans im alot of things but wigger aint one. Trust me i may have given you that impression but its definately for entertainment purposes

Sent from my SCH-I535 using EliteFitness
 
Hey lets support Nev in this thread enough about me and my awesome boobs

Sent from my SCH-I535 using EliteFitness
 
Strongbow said:
Hey lets support Nev in this thread enough about me and my awesome boobs

Sent from my SCH-I535 using EliteFitness
Click to expand...

Jnev - get to the place where you have the most opportunity in life and your daughter will as well. If that means getting some support from home, get there - take the plunge.
 
It sounds like hes already figured out what he wants to do and what he think will be best...seems like just trying to figure HOW to pull it off at this point.
 
jnevin said:
I'm thinking of taking my daughter and moving back home to Philly. I lost everything I've ever had here aside from Q, and if I keep going on like I am she's just going to be fucked when she gets older. I have zero support out here, limited "help" from her mom, my family (pretty awesome) never gets to see her, and I just feel that there's no opportunity for me here anymore.

Anyhoo, I have sole custody of the little critter, joint legal and physical. I know her mom loves her, but she's not doing anything with her life and the older she gets, the worse it's going to be for her. Female personal trainers in their 40's without a HS diploma don't have a ton of options. Anyone in a similar situation done this, and how did it go? What kind of legal bs am I going to have to deal with?
Click to expand...


ok nev... been down this road already...
you need sole legal and physical custody of her to pick up and go without the mothers or other parents consent.
legally she can hold u wherever you are unless you write up a new mutually agreeable divorce/ custody decree. A modified stipulation would work as well as far as her visitation if you didnt want to change a divorce decree but she would still have to sign off on her leaving with you. This means you would state " i am moving to philly and u can have unlimited parenting time when in the state of Philadelphia as long as the minor child is not being taken further than (we will say) 30 miles from the childs primary residence without prior written consent and fathers permission" or something like that. Structure is the key word when moving away from a parent. you have one shot really to lay the ground rules, boundaries, do's and dont's.
Something as simple as a "legal" letter signed and notarized would be legally enforceable enough for you to move without having to go through the courts, but would have to be signed and notarized by BOTH of you to be enforceable and of course be as descriptive as humanly possible including visitation and all that other stuff i said. leave no rock unturned or it can come to bite you in the ass later on.

im a little confused how you have sole custody but have joint legal and physical... sole custody is you have final say over all legal matters, sole physical is the child remains and lives in one place.
for instance me and my gf have sole legal/physical custody of our son. if anything with his biological happens it has to have our approval on it first or he gets nothing.
 
Shits not that hard to figure out in life. You think you would have started to plan this out and straighten your life out a little better after a bunch of Internet peeps sent you money over the Internet. And you're just realizing this now that you need a change?
 
stero,

how about you fuck off you slimy lil prick. You're not a parent and don't know wtf he's going through. So piss of you flat footed receeding hairline having ass bitch.
 
Lol!
 
sterolizer said:
Shits not that hard to figure out in life. You think you would have started to plan this out and straighten your life out a little better after a bunch of Internet peeps sent you money over the Internet. And you're just realizing this now that you need a change?
Click to expand...

Hey bro beans Nev dishes as much shit as anybody but in real situations we all owe it to each other to be real. Jnegro is at a cross roads man not the time to be fucking round time to be a good bro When your kids are involved life takes some turns you dont expect sometimes and situations that you as a person can take head on become very tricky to navigate. Be cool bro this is about his lil girl

Sent from my SCH-I535 using EliteFitness
 
sterolizer said:
Shits not that hard to figure out in life. You think you would have started to plan this out and straighten your life out a little better after a bunch of Internet peeps sent you money over the Internet. And you're just realizing this now that you need a change?
Click to expand...

tumblr_mby0uuATEu1rwkx4n.gif
 
noodles1010 said:
ok nev... been down this road already...
you need sole legal and physical custody of her to pick up and go without the mothers or other parents consent.
legally she can hold u wherever you are unless you write up a new mutually agreeable divorce/ custody decree. A modified stipulation would work as well as far as her visitation if you didnt want to change a divorce decree but she would still have to sign off on her leaving with you. This means you would state " i am moving to philly and u can have unlimited parenting time when in the state of Philadelphia as long as the minor child is not being taken further than (we will say) 30 miles from the childs primary residence without prior written consent and fathers permission" or something like that. Structure is the key word when moving away from a parent. you have one shot really to lay the ground rules, boundaries, do's and dont's.
Something as simple as a "legal" letter signed and notarized would be legally enforceable enough for you to move without having to go through the courts, but would have to be signed and notarized by BOTH of you to be enforceable and of course be as descriptive as humanly possible including visitation and all that other stuff i said. leave no rock unturned or it can come to bite you in the ass later on.

im a little confused how you have sole custody but have joint legal and physical... sole custody is you have final say over all legal matters, sole physical is the child remains and lives in one place.
for instance me and my gf have sole legal/physical custody of our son. if anything with his biological happens it has to have our approval on it first or he gets nothing.
Click to expand...

So I have sole physical and joint legal.

http://le.utah.gov/code/TITLE30/htm/30_03_003700.htm

This is what has to be done if the ex agrees, but I can't see her having the time to take her for extended periods of time. If I need to pay for transportation, I'll be collecting child support and will use that to fund her trips. I know this is the best thing for my daughter, and I know it will be best for me. I just have to do it right.
 
jnevin said:
So I have sole physical and joint legal.

http://le.utah.gov/code/TITLE30/htm/30_03_003700.htm

This is what has to be done if the ex agrees, but I can't see her having the time to take her for extended periods of time. If I need to pay for transportation, I'll be collecting child support and will use that to fund her trips. I know this is the best thing for my daughter, and I know it will be best for me. I just have to do it right.
Click to expand...

You need to have a stipulation drawn up, formally serve her papers regarding the relocation, include a personal letter explaining how it is better quality of life for the child, express your concern with her being involved in her life and that you will use the child support to help pay to off set costs when she visits. Open a path of communication and opportunity for her to be a parent as well as expressing the well being of your daughter. Ie having family around for her, a more stable environment, happier environment, make it all about your daughter and have no prejudice towards ur baby's mom. The court only cares about the child not your selfish needs or wants. That's all they will look at and will look for your selfish wants and needs to weed them out. Fyi
 
damn jnev i thought things were on the up and up for you.
the dod thing, then the nursing thing, i thought all was set
for a massive rebound...i know you are from philly and this is just
merely my thoughts, but fuk that shithole...too many hood morons and random
acts of ignorance, and from what i noticed angry and shitty people.
i'd guess you'd live in the nicer part of town and could shield her from all the filth?
i dunno, after living out west i could not go back east esp to a city.
and i'm gonna take the opposite tack as SB, the ramifications could be neg and directed towards you.
basically you being responsible for taking mommy away, even if she is a pile of dung for a parent...that's how i would've felt imo
 
binö said:
damn jnev i thought things were on the up and up for you.
the dod thing, then the nursing thing, i thought all was set
for a massive rebound...i know you are from philly and this is just
merely my thoughts, but fuk that shithole...too many hood morons and random
acts of ignorance, and from what i noticed angry and shitty people.
i'd guess you'd live in the nicer part of town and could shield her from all the filth?
i dunno, after living out west i could not go back east esp to a city.
and i'm gonna take the opposite tack as SB, the ramifications could be neg and directed towards you.
basically you being responsible for taking mommy away, even if she is a pile of dung for a parent...that's how i would've felt imo
Click to expand...

DOD thing didn't work out, and I'm working toward the mursing thing. I just have no time, no support, and I'm suffocated by stress and anxiety. I'd be about 70 miles outside of the city, surrounded by a pretty awesome family that would probably fight over the opportunity to watch Q while I get school banged out, and I'd get shit back on track. There's noting for me here anymore. I'm thinking a lot about having Q away from her mom, and I'll have to get her out here for her visits. What's worse though? Having my ex be an anchor around my neck and have it keep me from progressing in life and being the best parent I can? Or have her in a solid and stable environment, let me know success again, and hopefully have her mom appreciate the time she has with her?

She never wants her on mothers day, this will be the third easter she's gone out of town for, and 2 out of 3 christmases she was supposed to have her, she came at the end of the day because she was too busy with her bf and his kids. She doesn't deserve that.
 
Talked to my atty today and I guess all I need to do is tell her my plan in writing at least 60 days before I'm set to go. I can even send it in an email. If she wants to contest it we may have to go to mediation, but all that would be is getting the details down. If she really pushed to keep me here it'd cost her thousands in atty fees to get the entire custody agreement modified, which she wouldn't be able to do unless she could prove that I was some kind of violent felon. Now I guess I just need a plan, I need to approach the situation properly, and I need to execute.
 
sterolizer said:
Shits not that hard to figure out in life. You think you would have started to plan this out and straighten your life out a little better after a bunch of Internet peeps sent you money over the Internet. And you're just realizing this now that you need a change?
Click to expand...

Spoken like a young dumb cunt. Walk a mile in someone else's shoes before you go spouting that shit off.
 
billfred said:
Spoken like a young dumb cunt. Walk a mile in someone else's shoes before you go spouting that shit off.
Click to expand...

Lol first of all if I was in a position like that I wouldn't be a dumb shit and go on a steroid website asking for advice. I'm all about educating and asking for advice but that's the wrong way to go about it.
 
sterolizer said:
Lol first of all if I was in a position like that I wouldn't be a dumb shit and go on a steroid website asking for advice. I'm all about educating and asking for advice but that's the wrong way to go about it.
Click to expand...

but people do typically sound off within their support system
and if some of that support system happens to be an online forum (that is actually full of fairly intelligent and educated people) then so be it

Im not sure why you care.
Seems like you're defending your own vitriol at this point
 
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