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- Thread starter skittles
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Hey skittles!
I completely understand about living in a real life Jerry Springer episode. My mother went through something like this six years ago. We found out that my father (they were married 33 years when we found out) had another child in another state (he had an affair and the mother of the child sent letters to my house addressed to my mother). Needless to say we were angry, shocked, sad, etc. Our family has not been the same since.
Anyway, first stay strong. Before you let your emotions get in the way, I strongly recommend a DNA test. Velvett is right, if she wasn't sure four years ago there is a possibility she is wrong now. If the child is his, he should be in the child's life, but no way in hell should she live with you or him. Where are her parents? Doesn't she have other family members that can support her?
I completely understand about living in a real life Jerry Springer episode. My mother went through something like this six years ago. We found out that my father (they were married 33 years when we found out) had another child in another state (he had an affair and the mother of the child sent letters to my house addressed to my mother). Needless to say we were angry, shocked, sad, etc. Our family has not been the same since.
Anyway, first stay strong. Before you let your emotions get in the way, I strongly recommend a DNA test. Velvett is right, if she wasn't sure four years ago there is a possibility she is wrong now. If the child is his, he should be in the child's life, but no way in hell should she live with you or him. Where are her parents? Doesn't she have other family members that can support her?
skittles
Banned
nycgirl said:
Thats horrible...........thanks for sharing though
Yup, he's getting a DNA test. I'm trying not to jump/assume anything, I'm TRYING to think of it as 'everything happens for a reason'
She has family, I guess they don't talk. I don't know the reason why, and either does my BF
I'm REALLY trying to be there for him, but everytime the phone rings I think it's her, I know now is not the time to be jealous, but I'm just insecure with him right now.
Th postive side to this whole ordeal is - he'd be a GREAT father. He's older than me (by quite a bit) & he/his mom adopted a little girl when he was 22. Her father died in a car accident, & her mother was into heavy drugs. He has/does treat her like an angel. I know he would be the same towards the little boy (if it;s his)
I wasn't going to post his background / get personal about him, but maybe that's why this ex is coming out now????? I hate to think someone would actually go that low, but I don't have any respect for her
Hey there...
Just read through the post and being a single mommy, I'm about to break all kinds of ugly on this chic. (and I don't even know her). Someone said it best in the thread...it's no wonder men judge women the way they do.
As with everyone else...paternity test first. (which I think you're way on top of)
2nd- If baby boy turns out to be your BF's offspring...congrats to him. Honestly, despite any given situation, having a child/step child is one of the most miraculous and intriguing experiences in life. If he is the father...and homeslice moms can't afford her own place, food, toilet paper, etc...daddy boy needs to go for joint custody. Also, if $$ is tight on both ends, you can go through child support recovery center and pay like $35 bucks for them to issue a court agreement. (http://www.dhs.state.ia.us/BOC/BOC.asp) They'll get tax records and paycheck stubs from BOTH parties to determine who pays what and how much. Good thing to this is if she IS scamming him...they'll at least know what her income and fundage has been for the past 3 years. I mean seriously, as a mother, she hasn't done any research on your BF to date. Why would any woman just pick up and move 50,000 miles away without investigating the situation first. (i sure as hell wouldn't want my baby around a man that I didn't know IN ADVANCE would be good daddy material) Of course you know I'm not suggesting anything less of your BF. I'm merely making an objective observation of this bobo chic mom.
3rd- If the baby is his, have him contact the grandparents etc and find out what's going on in her life. It may boil down to the best interest of the baby being with your BF and her NOT moving at all. Women are just as effin' jacked up as men these days.
4th-as for you...i don't catch in the thread how long you two have been together...but if you love the guy...your best hand in the situation is to sit back and listen. Befriend the hell out of him. He's already having an internal freak out with the possibility alone. I assure you, he's already ponder the thought of you leaving him if the baby is his. Trust your heart on everything. But at the same time, don't let the red flags slip through the cracks. You seem like a very intelligent chic...I'm certain you'll do what's best for yourself and everyone else in this situation. Best of luck. Looks like you've got a pretty powerful team here backing ya...we're all supporting you. What doesn't break us makes us some tough beyotches.
Just read through the post and being a single mommy, I'm about to break all kinds of ugly on this chic. (and I don't even know her). Someone said it best in the thread...it's no wonder men judge women the way they do.
As with everyone else...paternity test first. (which I think you're way on top of)
2nd- If baby boy turns out to be your BF's offspring...congrats to him. Honestly, despite any given situation, having a child/step child is one of the most miraculous and intriguing experiences in life. If he is the father...and homeslice moms can't afford her own place, food, toilet paper, etc...daddy boy needs to go for joint custody. Also, if $$ is tight on both ends, you can go through child support recovery center and pay like $35 bucks for them to issue a court agreement. (http://www.dhs.state.ia.us/BOC/BOC.asp) They'll get tax records and paycheck stubs from BOTH parties to determine who pays what and how much. Good thing to this is if she IS scamming him...they'll at least know what her income and fundage has been for the past 3 years. I mean seriously, as a mother, she hasn't done any research on your BF to date. Why would any woman just pick up and move 50,000 miles away without investigating the situation first. (i sure as hell wouldn't want my baby around a man that I didn't know IN ADVANCE would be good daddy material) Of course you know I'm not suggesting anything less of your BF. I'm merely making an objective observation of this bobo chic mom.
3rd- If the baby is his, have him contact the grandparents etc and find out what's going on in her life. It may boil down to the best interest of the baby being with your BF and her NOT moving at all. Women are just as effin' jacked up as men these days.
4th-as for you...i don't catch in the thread how long you two have been together...but if you love the guy...your best hand in the situation is to sit back and listen. Befriend the hell out of him. He's already having an internal freak out with the possibility alone. I assure you, he's already ponder the thought of you leaving him if the baby is his. Trust your heart on everything. But at the same time, don't let the red flags slip through the cracks. You seem like a very intelligent chic...I'm certain you'll do what's best for yourself and everyone else in this situation. Best of luck. Looks like you've got a pretty powerful team here backing ya...we're all supporting you. What doesn't break us makes us some tough beyotches.
skittles
Banned
HabitualHealth said:
I have been with him for almost 3 years. We have taken things REALLY REALLY slow, so this is our first 'obstacle' in our relationship; it’s definitely testing us to see where we really stand in each others lives.
The tests have already been taken, and now it’s a waiting game…… I expect to know within the next few days.
My boyfriend & I (along with 2 other couples) have a vacation booked from March 2-16th……..we are heading to Florida. We were going to put this on hold, but decided to go, spend some time together & figure things out. If we get the news that the child his, we will have some time to discus it, without the stress of everything at home. I’ll still be logging onto EF – so I can still update all you ladies.
I really appreciate all of your help & advice. This situation has been VERY hard on me, and I’m trying so hard to be strong. I haven’t really been posting (I find that I’m jumpy & sensitive to everything & I really don’t want to post anything I don’t mean – hope this makes sense), but I’m glad to see all you ladies are doing well with you training etc.
To all you who are worried about my BF not excepting, supporting the child (if it’s his) – please don’t. He is a totally awesome guy & he would treat him like a little prince. If this is the outcome I’m going to let them spend time & get to know each other before I enter the picture. I can’t even imagine how all of this would confuse a child.
My BF has a lawyer who is really helpful in answering our questions. If the child is his he wants him to live with him (without his ex) I don’t think this will happen, but maybe he can win some sort of part time custody………..I don’t know, but I really hope things work out for the best.
Thanks again ladies…….I’m glad I have the support here, you would be amazed at how many different opinions & negative comments I get regarding this situation
Aww sweeite, I will NEVER judge you or him like that in anyway.skittles said:
We are hear to listen to you vent and get your feelings out if you ever need to. Besides, you always have Shadow Delete the post after the fact, right?
Have a relaxing trip to and we are here if you need us.
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