Your advice please

[skittles]

She's totally up to something.

I mean REALLY - what if it's not his kid?
Then what?

And if she is SO certain why did she keep it secret to your boyfriend and HER now ex boyfriend.

A real piece of work.

It's no wonder men judge women the way they do.

This has been my point all week...............I can't understand her. I do want to do anything for him, but I'm scared to meet her. I am so mad at her I think I'd blow.

I would REALLY like to know what she's thinking. I'm trying not to blame anything on my BF, BUT what if he was in contact with her or something????? I don't understand how she can drop this on someone 4 years later! He tells me he wasn't (I have never seen/heard him lie to anyone before) Every 2 min's I'm thinking 'what if....'

 

[jenscats5]

He agrees. I can tell if he had a son he would be so happy. I just wish the situation was alot different. I'm sort of felling like she's in command. She's making all the calls. I don't know if this is me freaking out, or if it's really the case............I don't want to be the perosn who tells him she can't come here & he never gets to meet his son (assuming it is his). If I take time away, I'm not there for him..........this really bites!

Thanks for being supportive dolls

Oh for crying out loud!! Talk about a mind fuck!! Pardon my language....

Since he had NO IDEA THE KID EVEN EXISTED FOR 4 YEARS THERE IS NO REASON THEY CAN'T WAIT ANOTHER 30 DAYS FOR THE DNA TEST TO BE DONE & THE RESULTS!!

I can't believe he's ready to let this woman move right in to HIS HOUSE with a kid that may or may not be his...... I hate to be a meanie, but I mean really? How does he really know the kid is his??

 

[skittles]

I just read this thread over. LOL I really belong on the Springer show

I've decided that I'm going to tell him that the test HAS to be done (before anything else is even considered)

If either one has a problem....it's too bad. What can she really expect????

Anyone have any experiences with this kind of test? I assume he can get his done here & the child at home?

 

[Sassy69]

If you do a Google on "paternity test" you come up with all sorts of services.

Here's one that had a good description of the process:

http://www.genelex.com/paternitytesting/paternitybook4.html

 

[skittles]

If you do a Google on "paternity test" you come up with all sorts of services.

Here's one that had a good description of the process:

http://www.genelex.com/paternitytesting/paternitybook4.html

Thanks Sassy

I just breezed through it & will read it tomorrow when I have a clear mind. I had no idea this was such a popular thing.

 

[Raina]

Wow. I agree with Velvett 100%. She said exactly what I thought. The idea of her moving into his place is insane. Not to say that parents shouldn't have relationships with their kids (if they're really their kids) but living together? Regardless of the paternity issue (which I'd be surprised by but wouldn't see as being battle #1) I'd see the living together thing as a huge issue. Not that parents shouldn't see their kids (if they're really their kids) but that's nuts. I have a 0-tolerance policy on bf's living with ex's) the living together.

I agree about the DNA test. A friend of the family almost lost his marriage after his HS sweetheart approached them 15 years later to say that her baby was his. She went after him legally for back child support, he insisted on the test, and it was proven that he wasn't the dad. I'm a little jaded I suppose on people being "positive" about things like that when they emerge from the past.

In the mean time, try to take care of yourself. It has to be stressful for him too but the whole moving in idea etc isn't something you should have to deal with. If it's proven that he's the dad, the two of you will have to figure out what to do next but right now it really sounds like you're in limbo. Trust your gut. Stick to your guns. There's no reason you should have to meet the other girl or anything. But your bf needs to be supportive of you too right now. Good luck.

 

[Gymgurl]

DO NOT put up the moving in crap...they can wait until the test is done and read. There is NO reason why she should be moving in anyway... that is what child support helps to pay for...

 

[skittles]

DO NOT put up the moving in crap...they can wait until the test is done and read. There is NO reason why she should be moving in anyway... that is what child support helps to pay for...

I'm really glad I posted this & got your opinions. This is a HUGE deal & I wasn't sure if I was reacting well. If it is his, I want the child to move here, I don't care if it's a full time thing, I want them to be together...............I just want her to stay put, I don't think I want to see her face for quite awhile.


Raina - that's crazy!!! 15 years - what are these woman thinking?

 

[Miss24k]

I'm really glad I posted this & got your opinions. This is a HUGE deal & I wasn't sure if I was reacting well. If it is his, I want the child to move here, I don't care if it's a full time thing, I want them to be together...............I just want her to stay put, I don't think I want to see her face for quite awhile.


Raina - that's crazy!!! 15 years - what are these woman thinking?

Yes huney, you're reactions are understandable, and I would say you're handling it quite well.


Some women are just down right scandelous!!! And this 1 is up to something, I don't understand the whole part about her moving in with him...

 

[skittles]

Yes huney, you're reactions are understandable, and I would say you're handling it quite well.


Some women are just down right scandelous!!! And this 1 is up to something, I don't understand the whole part about her moving in with him...

I'm thinking she doesn't really have a place to go. She doesn't have a job / place here. I don't know what her situation is now, but I hope she taking care of the little guy.........I'll keep you all posted when I hear more / get any facts