how will being resentful and angry at their dad be a good relationship for my kids to grow up seeing?
how will being resentful and angry at their dad be a good relationship for my kids to grow up seeing?
EDITEDhow will being resentful and angry at their dad be a good relationship for my kids to grow up seeing?
Meh. All alliances are temporary. If she strays, then she does. If I stay, then I do. If she doesn't and I don't, meh.
Somehow I can't help but think you don't believe in the soul-mate concept.
Speaking from personal experience; having turned the cheek and overlooking it because of my love for her ended up hurting me even more in the end because she just turned around and did it again a year later...peoples nature never changes for the most part if they are willing to do something once they will do it again. No. Never ever again.
Yes, that is a good point. If I were being angry and resentful all the time that would not be healthy. We're at a stalemate on the issue of where the STD came from so at the time I had to try and drop it and forgive and forget- a baby was on the way. But, years later other things piled up. I literally made a list of 100 things before I cheated. Then found out that was pointless and unfulfilling and my spouse was willing to humble himself as well and try harder.
I am in forgiving and forgetting try #2. Besides, I got my revenge. I didn't bring it up, but in my case I have a special needs child as well (as you all know) and it's almost not an option at all to divorce for his sake. Would you guys marry a woman w/a child that will live with you for the rest of your lives??? I have met women with stepdad spouses and I am in awe of these men. My initial thought: Secret pedophiles! But, I had to let that suspicion go and see that there are amazing genuine huge hearted men that are willing to do this for a woman they fall in love with. But, that's besides the point. Fear of being alone is not a good reason alone to stay in an unhappy marriage.
There are those that can forgive and forget- many. Many will have many meaningless sex trysts before marriage. Some will be more reserved and sort of save themselves. I can understand sexual betrayal being just the same as emotional betrayal for group 2 b/c sex IS emotional for them and one and the same. But for group 1, come on. Suddenly sex has meaning? No, it doesn't, but it's the PRIDE and respect issue that comes with sharing your body w/another person that they care about.
If there wasn't the PRIDE, it would be easier to forgive even for the formerly whoring around Group 1 crowd. It's all about the pride and disrespect. That's huge, I know.
Oh, and if I can't fully forgive him and the resentment and suspicion comes back and I am not able to be the wife HE deserves, yes, I will have to consider divorce. I'm giving this an earnest chance though. I think giving chances is hard, but necessary in some cases.
p.s. Divorce is rampant among couples w/children w/special needs.
how will being resentful and angry at their dad be a good relationship for my kids to grow up seeing?
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