Wish me luck..

[Deleted member 33117]

Alot of you have talked with me about my relationships, and the problems involved and have been following my posts. Well, the thread I had about not being able to cum on halloween with the new girl I was seeing was an event (me sleeping with her for the first time), that seemd to cause so many problems. Things are very confusing and complex with this woman right now, as a result of that, and both of our pasts and issues. Tomarrow when I get home, we are going to sit down and have a talk about what is really going on.

What she doesn't know is, I've never met anyone so special in my life. Not only do I have more so much in common with her that is scares me, but I have a huge amount of respect and admiration for her.

Becuase of some things that have happened in my life, which I have posted about in the past, I have always felt deep in my heart that I am not a good person, and I do not deserve to be loved by anyone. This is why I stayed with my pyscho ex-gf, despite everything that happened. I didn't believe that I deserved anyone better. I've had a couple of girls that caught my interest since then, including one that I feel deeply in love with very quickly, however it never felt right with any of them.

The woman I've been involved with (well actually we haven't spoken much in the last two weeks), is different. The strange thing is, despite the mixed messages I've been getting, she implied that the feelings she developed for me so quickly fightened her, and that this "is the reason I put the brakes on you the way I did." Out of all of the woman I've slept with, or been involved with, this is the first one who I believe has ever actually cared about me. I'm afraid that I will not find another woman who possesses the qualities that I admire in her so much, and the fact that she actually cares about me, makes this so much worse. I'm absolutely terrified that she going to tell me that I'm not good enough for her, and to hit the road when we talk... because deep down inside, despite my efforts to be a good person, and to be everything I am capable of being, I still feel that I am not good enough, and that I am truely not a good person. Just as I was told when I was 5-years-old.

 

[Christopher X]

Good luck. Take it slow, and I hope it goes well for you both.

 

[ColdCut]

Dude you fukin need to stop with this bullshit. You are constatnly dramatizing your stories, constantly portraying urself as some sexual god, and now your trying to get some sympathy out of some women in this waste of a post. All you constantly do is be the "bigger brother" to the women and somtimes men of EF. Your one of the fakest people i have ever come across. EF needs to start up a section of the forum called "Waste of Time" and you should ONLY be allowed to post in there.
Oh and i LOVE the way you keep braggin in a very subtle way ENDLESSLY. He'll throw in things like "ive been told my most of my partners that im big, but i donno, i dont think so" If you have been with a lot of women, thats FUKIN great. We dont give a shit. We all have problems with the opposite sex......just dont come cryin in here with "Just as I was told when I was 5-years-old."
there are lots of people that are MUCH MUCH worse off that you
not that i need to prove this, but go read this below and cry

http://www.beautylandz.com/index.ph...ic&t=217&sid=d3b8aae00f4316397c05567beb9ca3fd

good luck

 

[jubei]

damn.

 

[SoKlueles]

damn.

Yeah what he said

 

[fsupat70]

im not cold cut

 

[rnch]

quoting dad: "son, you just never know when true love is gonna reach out and bite you on the ass."

 

[Deleted member 33117]

Coldcut, actually, alot of people on here tell me they enjoy reading my posts. Stop being a hater, and work on your own self-esteem.

fsu, I know you arn't cold cut. LoL

 

[SoKlueles]

bbf...im not cold cut either

 

[Deleted member 33117]

I know you aren't SoKlueles.

::hugs her in a big-brother-like manner to piss off cold cut::

 

[SoKlueles]

giggles and gets a warm fuzzy feeling all over

 

[sweetnes11]

BBF like mch said you never know !!! Example 1. I met and married my husband in two months , we met the end of sept, and was married Dec. 1st we will be married 23 years monday .
Example 2. My Dad and Mom met and were married with in 3 months they have been married 48 years . When you know you will know!! As far as what you said about not being good enough. I can understand that feeling , I have never gotten over the feeling of not being good enough for my husband, he is togood for me, in my mind. but I also know he loves me, so i just put the past in the past , live for today and tomorrow

 

[gingersnap]

BBF, Lots of us were told we were craqp as kids... (My Mom was a teenager, nuff said)...be strong, you have a good heart (not to mention, ahemm...a good body). Be cool, it's all good....if this one isn't the one...another one will be...you're growing up....isn't life rich?

 

[Gambino]

Does AAS use figure into these feelings?

 

[jenscats5]

Hi BBF! Hang in there, I understand also about the "not good enough feelings" as my adoptive parents often told me so.

I met my husband in April & we were engaged by July & we've been married 2 years now. I knew he was the one right away. Go with your feelings.

Good luck!

 

[Deleted member 33117]

She just dumped me on yahoo messenger. She sent me an offline message this morning, she is in class right now just got it.

"please quit calling/coming over/etc...not gonna work...move on...sorry"

I'm going to try to talk to her in person. I think I at least deserve an explination. I want to die.

 

[tuc biscuit]

I'm gonna be serious for a second here bro, I agree you deserve an explintion first in person, but do you want to be involved with a girl who would do such a shitty thing as dump you like that. Also the best bit of advice I ever heard on the subject was that you will never be happy with someone else until you are truly happy on your own. Once again condolences man. If it was me I wouldn't give her the satisfaction of ever contacting her again.

 

[Deleted member 33117]

Tuc, I know what you are saying, but this one was different. I just feel so shitty right now, I don't know what to think.

 

[BileStew]

Ouch, she dumped you from Yahoo messenger?

If this is the way she handles things, you're better off not being with her at all.

 

[tuc biscuit]

Tuc, I know what you are saying, but this one was different. I just feel so shitty right now, I don't know what to think.

I know man, it is hard, but will get better.


These are my feelings (tell me if I am wrong or just tell me to shut up if you want).

-you aren't happy by yourself and are looking for it in someone else and that is no good man.

-you are too trusting and give your all to someone too quickly and perhaps expect too much back.

you are a good bro in all senses of the word, but I think you would be best to just concentrate on making yourself happy first man before any female, when you are you will meet a great one and things will just fall into place for you man.

 

[sh4dowf4lcon]

good luck fina...peace bro

 

[BileStew]

I know man, it is hard, but will get better.


These are my feelings (tell me if I am wrong or just tell me to shut up if you want).

-you aren't happy by yourself and are looking for it in someone else and that is no good man.

-you are too trusting and give your all to someone too quickly and perhaps expect too much back.

you are a good bro in all senses of the word, but I think you would be best to just concentrate on making yourself happy first man before any female, when you are you will meet a great one and things will just fall into place for you man.

Tuc,

Who are you, Dr. Phil?

When will your show be aired? heh

 

[Deleted member 33117]

Wow, I called her, and left a voice message saying I didn't want to end things over the internet, and I wanted to tell her some things, say goodbye in person and part on good terms. I dropped by, and she didn't answer the door.

I got back online over an hour later, just a few minutes ago, and she told me that it frightened her, that I was acking like a stalker, and if I came over again she was going to call the police.

Sent her a message back, saying I'm sorry if I frightened her, but I just wanted to part as friends, and say good bye in person, not like this. She hasn't replied as of yet.

 

[SoKlueles]

You dont need her BBF...least of all you dont need a run in with the police. Just drop this chick, and gl with a new one in the future.

 

[Deleted member 33117]

I know man, it is hard, but will get better.


These are my feelings (tell me if I am wrong or just tell me to shut up if you want).

-you aren't happy by yourself and are looking for it in someone else and that is no good man.

-you are too trusting and give your all to someone too quickly and perhaps expect too much back.

you are a good bro in all senses of the word, but I think you would be best to just concentrate on making yourself happy first man before any female, when you are you will meet a great one and things will just fall into place for you man.

The thing is, I went into this expecting nothing, because of what has happened with my previous attempts at finding someone. Things went so fast, and she actually told me she was frightened by how fast she got emotionally involved. The thing is, I'm at a time where I really do need someone. I've been alone most of my life, and to be honest with you, once I got involved with her, I was actually happy for the first time in my life, even if it was just for a little while. I know she wants me to not contact her again, and I'll honor that request. I just wish there was a way for me to let her know that she did make me happy for a little while, and I have no hard feelings towards her, because that short time was more than I've ever had. I can accept that fact that for one reason or another, she didn't want me, or couldn't handle a relationship because of her own issues. Unfortunately life works out like that sometimes, but I want her to know how I feel, and that I do not regret having been with her, despite how things turned out.

 

[tuc biscuit]

bro I am sorry to hear that, but some things you say worry me, you should never 'need' someone and I don't think you were truly happy, perhaps it was just having someone as company, again I may well be wrong.

 

[BileStew]

BBF,

If she is now accusing you of stalking her and breaks up with you over Yahoo Messenger, then this chick is not for you. This stuff is minor in comparison to what she could possibly do in the long run.

She doesn't come accross as being pretty stable to me. Just an observation from what you have told.

Get out now while you can.

 

[sweetnes11]

She sounds like a nut case, you are better off without her.
Stay away from her for your own good. The fact that she said that she feels like you are stocking her. Thats my opinion ! Use what you can and forget the rest

 

[sh4dowf4lcon]

just be yourself holmes

 

[Deleted member 33117]

sweetnes, yeah, her issues are what caused the problems to begin with. She admitted that a few weeks ago, and said that the fact she developed feelings for me so fast, combined with her issues, is the reason she "put the breaks on me." (her words). She said it had nothing to do with me, and she just needed some time to work through her emotions, before she could committe to anything.

I don't see the point in attempting to contact her anymore. I told her in that last message that I wouldn't be like two of the other guys in her past, and continue to call her and try to talk to her. I told her good bye and that I wish her well in life. Right now I don't know how I should feel. Honestly, I truely admired her, and really would have liked to have had something long-term with her, but I have to move on. It just hurts that she was so impersonal, especially after she promised me up front, when we first started seeing each other, that if things weren't going to work out, she would sit down and just tell me. I think I deserve that much at least, and not the way it went down, over yahoo messenger with a couple short messages.

Considering how I felt, I'm surprised how well I'm taking this. Anyway, I went out last night (in Houston for the weekend) with my best friend and my sister who live here, and got drunk. I guess I just needed to blow off some steam.

 

[obiwan9962]

she is not worthy