Okay, I'm the resident Adulteress and have a PHD in making a whore out of myself so I should know a thing or 2 right? There's a lot on here that I can ditto, though not much on Omega's sentiments. To his credit, there is a tiny bit of truth. My spouse and I met and shacked up very early in our early 20s. I never really had a REAL boyfriend, I was shy, but sexually easy I guess. Damaged my self esteem. I didn't date enough though had a couple FWBs and one night stands. (I bloomed late.) Advice: Date A LOT before you settle down- even the ones you are only luke warm to. You won't ever be able to see into a crystal ball, but you can sort of predict the weather based on patterns. Dating helps you see the patterns. I did not date enough and tried to make up for it in my infidelity. I was having "see what's on the other side" affairs vs an ejector affair or other types.
I was actually going to ask something similar (in Inbetween the Sheets) to see what would come up, though I already have some answers based on my lurid experiences. I already did a thread on the top reasons men make on CL for why they're hunting (see thread: Is your partner awful in bed? ) And they were every shallow excuses from "boredom" to "wife acts like sex is a chore". I will admit I wasn't much interested in sex w/ my spouse b/c he was not putting in the time and care to seduce me. He NEVER did. (What did I know?- I only had typical/bad sex before him.)
It goes both ways. Women want to feel cherished, wanted, special, unique, desired...so do those things. When he stops, she stops wanting it. Men need to feel appreciated and want affirmation. When a woman stops doing that, he will stop making her feel cherished. It's a see saw and both parties have to remain in motion- not just one side pulling all the work which includes talking about your grievances openly and if he's the RIGHT guy, he will be humble enough to try. I know this NOW and am working on it.
They say 2/3 men will cheat. Maybe those are only big city statistics. But, even if we were conservative and said 1/6 men will cheat, that is still a lot and most of the reasons on CL have to do with...NOT ENOUGH SEX AT HOME &/or not enough INTEREST in sex at home. Men and women stop b/c they stop appreciating each other and stop speaking the other's "Love language". Ditto on the taking for granted comment. Oh, a good sleeper movie on relationships: Ira and Abby. Yeah, they're Jewish...funny people (in general- no offense) PC PC PC.
When the see-saw stops rocking, so does the bed. Or, the bed is rocking and HE's getting his, and she's submitting over and over and not getting what SHE wants so then SHE cheats. Oops. I digress. That was MY story....
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