What's it worth? Where do you derive your drive?

[khemix]

So as some of you may have noticed, I havn't been around in a few months. I've had this girlfriend see. And we've been together a few years, and its been the greatest thing I've ever experienced. Marriage planned. Kids planned. Future secure.

And I suppose I must have been blissfull in my ignorance, because I never saw it coming. "I just don't love you anymore, Chris."

And I fall apart entirely.

So here I am, recovering, trying to eat and get back on diet and get back into the gym and such. And now I find myself questioning why I do all this. Why I put myself through this lifestyle day in, and day out.

And I think I've realized why.

Because it's all I've got. Its what I turn to when no one is there for me. Its what I do to occupy my mind and thoughts. Its where I go to let it all out. The iron helps take away the pain.

So tell me, guys, what drives you? What makes you break yourself?

Chris

 

[the elite addict]

Listen bro. I really feel for you. Not to sound like a bitch, but.. your post almost brought a tear to my eye. I have been in a relationship for almost 9 years, and I have heard those words a few years back. listen bro, its probaly for the better. It wasn't / isn't meant to be. I know it sounds stupid but I am a firm believer in that. Or there could just be other issues that she has and rather than confront you / address them with you, thats her way of showing that she needs more attention or just the oppisite,space. etc. either way it works itself out is for the better bro. Keep your head up and don't obsese over it to much. She may come around or she may not, if not, you will fall in love again. Good luck brother.

 

[bluetoolpaul]

Well bro, regardless of what bags of shit life throws at you, you'll always have the gym. Girlfriends/wives shitting on you, your job shitting on you, whatever... the gym is always there and always willing to give you back what you put into it.

What drives me? Multiple things. Wanting to look good in a mirror. Not wanting to be a bone rack. Wanting boosted self-confidence and higher self esteem. Wanting to scare children and old people. Ok, maybe not the last one....

Bro, hang in there and don't let her bring you down. Go hit the gym and then pick up a new piece of ass!!!!!

 

[eddymerckx]

i seperated from my first wife (my best friend for 15 years, married 6), my mom died (very close), and two friends died in 9/11--and my best bud from college on the scene when the 2nd tower fell (fbi--he was guarding a piece of landing gear?/) all within a month---

i turned to riding my bike for hours upon hours---

i eventually decided that i had to move on and have a good life 1. to spite my wife; 2. b/c my mom would have wanted me to; and 3. b/c my two friends had their chance taken away--and 4. just to get to ride the trails in fruita or moab everty few years with my friend that lived.

when my employer thinks i am not dedicated--i laugh and say "no, I just value life more than anything you can offer"

 

[eljesse]

Actually Khemix it's a great post..!
For me tomorrow is my birthday but also it's been one Year with lot of effort to keep moving, I discovered June 17th 2007 with a DNA test that I didn't have a Daughter that I thought was mine for 2 years, was the moment when my heart broke in parts.
It's been a Year with the support of my Family, my Friends, my work and other life expectations that are keeping my life moving and hopping that something better will came for Me.

So Always live the moment with lot of energy and pasion.!
Pasion can make the difference.!

Hope I can see You post more..!

Regards,

JessE

 

[Big_Joe]

Well most people their life is getting up early to get the suit and tie on. The drive or bus to some big building where they kno maybe two people. They sit in a cubicle for eight or more hours. The hit a bar on the way home to get enough alcohol in their system so they don't have to think about what they are, Then the next day they do it again.

Yea it sucks that you're girl dropped you. But so what. Would you rather it be now or after you have three kids and mortgage???

I will share with you what I have learned about myself. I went through a bunch of relationships. When the last one broke up and I watched my X drive away in my 1965 nova I asked myself "why is this happening to me over and over again." All the women I had been with were very different woman. The only thing we had in common was we were in bed with each other before we "fell in love." I resolved to never do that again. This was tough. Many time I had women that really wanted to go t bed with me but I said no. I got called every name in the book. But after a few years I did find a woman that listened to what I had to say and wanted to give it a try herself. She didn't want to breakup after a few years any more either. So we didn't have sex until we were just about to marry. We have been together for seventeen years now. Have two great kids and things are pretty good for us.

SO my advice is don't lead with your dick until your heart tells you it's OK. I think you will find you won't get laid as much, until you're married at least, but your heart won't be taking as much of a beating in the long run.

One thing I think I should add. Tell the women you are dating what you are doing. Some girls feel very bad about themselves if you don't want to fuck them. But this goes away if you tell them you want to see if there are a good prospect for a long term relationship. Some will drop you right away because they just want to fuck. But the good ones will find this very interesting.

 

[rip_torn]

As one door closes another one opens,at some time in our lives some of the problems listed above come to us all.It seems life will never be the same again but time heals the wounds and we all move on.One thing is constant amongst us all as we wrap our hands around the barbells and dumbells,push against the weight of the squat bar and leg press and pull against the cables and chin bars.We empower ourselves to enjoy the life we have infront of us to the best of our physical ability and as healthily as we can.Hopefully in the process we are delaying/defying age related disease and illness.
We have inner strength an aura about us that the week around us want, but cant live with it.These people enter and then leave our lives until we find like minded souls.
The one constant in all of our lives is this! everything else is transitional.

 

[artificialaspirations]

I enjoy the discipline and feeling healthy. I like the pump, the exhaustion, the burn, the euphoria after a good workout and the intense relaxation I get from it afterwards.

Oh yeah, and looks from the girls!

 

[SpyWizard]

So as some of you may have noticed, I havn't been around in a few months. I've had this girlfriend see. And we've been together a few years, and its been the greatest thing I've ever experienced. Marriage planned. Kids planned. Future secure.

And I suppose I must have been blissfull in my ignorance, because I never saw it coming. "I just don't love you anymore, Chris."

And I fall apart entirely.

So here I am, recovering, trying to eat and get back on diet and get back into the gym and such. And now I find myself questioning why I do all this. Why I put myself through this lifestyle day in, and day out.

And I think I've realized why.

Because it's all I've got. Its what I turn to when no one is there for me. Its what I do to occupy my mind and thoughts. Its where I go to let it all out. The iron helps take away the pain.

So tell me, guys, what drives you? What makes you break yourself?

Chris

Sorry to hear about that situation man, What i share with people is, a relationship that ends is often just like a death in the family, it takes time for you to mourn, time to heal.

Most will tell you, and life will teach you that men and women make decissions for many different reasons, women especially (i'm sure i'll hear about this) will make decisions based on emotional influences, where as men will make decisions on what makes them happy..

To answer your question, when i work out for me, i do strength training, when i do body building it's for the wife, so it seems like 1/2 the year it's for me, and 1/2 it's for her..

bulk cut bulk cut..

I am just like many, my worst enemy, "Check the ego at the door" that's what i advise, and the one major rule i always break..

oh well.. good luck..

 

[sweed]

Getting picked on a lot from older kids back in the day. I had enough and in high school through college grew up to where people were afraid of me and would never think to piss me off. Well I will never fight and I'm a genuinely nice guy. But it feels good to be in control.

Sorry to hear about that chris. I always say this when something bad happens. 'It happens for a reason.' And I have had a lot of bad things happen to me lately, but I always look to the positive.
Good Luck bor!

 

[flexdaddyz71]

My new workout partner is going through an unwanted divorce at the moment. He only has a few weeks before it's final. We've been working out super hard for the past 6 months together. He is also my supervisor at work. We were tight before this, but working out together has borught us closer. It pretty cool he trust me. He's working out to keep his mind off his problems and to get into better shape so that he can present a better package. With that being said.... I workout for the escape from the daily grind and stress. Having had two sets of twin boys and being married for 9 years to a beautiful, loving, caring and UNDERSTANDING wife.... I need a break those 2 hours on Mon, Wed & Fri's. Also, we lost one of our twin boys in 2005 and I find my time at the gym makes me feel better when I'm feeling sad and missing him. Of course, no doubt I love the attention from people I meet. It's cool when they say "Damn, you must workout all the time" I just say a little cardio and pushups. LOL

Chris, I've been burned before... Every good guys has.... Just know that everything, good or bad, happens for a reason. I wish you the best and know that you will work through this situation and come out a better man. Have a little faith in the Lord, he will see you through. He has given me the strength to be a better son, daddy, husband....FLEX

 

[thebadguy54]

Awww... you juicers are all so sweet!

It's great to know that even the freakiest jacked up bro have heart somewhere inside their giant chests.

Time heals all wounds. Stay up home boy.

 

[Cardinal Slin]

I know it isn't always easy and have been through numerous similar scenarios.

At the end of the day women will come and go, the gym is always going to be there for me

Why do I do it? It keeps my stress down, allows me to sleep well, and increases my confidence.

 

[swole]

So as some of you may have noticed, I havn't been around in a few months. I've had this girlfriend see. And we've been together a few years, and its been the greatest thing I've ever experienced. Marriage planned. Kids planned. Future secure.

And I suppose I must have been blissfull in my ignorance, because I never saw it coming. "I just don't love you anymore, Chris."

And I fall apart entirely.

So here I am, recovering, trying to eat and get back on diet and get back into the gym and such. And now I find myself questioning why I do all this. Why I put myself through this lifestyle day in, and day out.

And I think I've realized why.

Because it's all I've got. Its what I turn to when no one is there for me. Its what I do to occupy my mind and thoughts. Its where I go to let it all out. The iron helps take away the pain.

So tell me, guys, what drives you? What makes you break yourself?

Chris

If I told you how the last 4 months of my life went, it would bear a striking resemblance to the first part of your post.

All the time I spend analyzing and questioning my obsession, it simply boils down to what you said in bold. That's about it.

 

[boyer]

Well most people their life is getting up early to get the suit and tie on. The drive or bus to some big building where they kno maybe two people. They sit in a cubicle for eight or more hours. The hit a bar on the way home to get enough alcohol in their system so they don't have to think about what they are, Then the next day they do it again.

Yea it sucks that you're girl dropped you. But so what. Would you rather it be now or after you have three kids and mortgage???

I will share with you what I have learned about myself. I went through a bunch of relationships. When the last one broke up and I watched my X drive away in my 1965 nova I asked myself "why is this happening to me over and over again." All the women I had been with were very different woman. The only thing we had in common was we were in bed with each other before we "fell in love." I resolved to never do that again. This was tough. Many time I had women that really wanted to go t bed with me but I said no. I got called every name in the book. But after a few years I did find a woman that listened to what I had to say and wanted to give it a try herself. She didn't want to breakup after a few years any more either. So we didn't have sex until we were just about to marry. We have been together for seventeen years now. Have two great kids and things are pretty good for us.

SO my advice is don't lead with your dick until your heart tells you it's OK. I think you will find you won't get laid as much, until you're married at least, but your heart won't be taking as much of a beating in the long run.

One thing I think I should add. Tell the women you are dating what you are doing. Some girls feel very bad about themselves if you don't want to fuck them. But this goes away if you tell them you want to see if there are a good prospect for a long term relationship. Some will drop you right away because they just want to fuck. But the good ones will find this very interesting.

Would you buy a car without test driving it?

 

[Chocolate_Thunder]

So as some of you may have noticed, I havn't been around in a few months. I've had this girlfriend see. And we've been together a few years, and its been the greatest thing I've ever experienced. Marriage planned. Kids planned. Future secure.

And I suppose I must have been blissfull in my ignorance, because I never saw it coming. "I just don't love you anymore, Chris."

And I fall apart entirely.

So here I am, recovering, trying to eat and get back on diet and get back into the gym and such. And now I find myself questioning why I do all this. Why I put myself through this lifestyle day in, and day out.

And I think I've realized why.

Because it's all I've got. Its what I turn to when no one is there for me. Its what I do to occupy my mind and thoughts. Its where I go to let it all out. The iron helps take away the pain.

So tell me, guys, what drives you? What makes you break yourself?

Chris

First, I honestly feel for you. You will be stronger in the end.

I'm also glad you're back.

What drives me...? To be better than yesterday.

 

[ceo]

Lots of things. Sometimes different things for different reasons. When I started, I was just tired of being skinny. The same reasons driving you right now have driven me before too. Now it's more that I just want to see how big I can get, and/or how strong I can get on particular exercises.

Everything will be alright bro. Keep going to the gym. Go hang out with friends too. Don't be one dimensional, where gym gym gym is your whole life. Don't want to burn out.

 

[manny78]

It's kindda like a routine for me now. Just like taking a shower. I have to train 3-4x/week. I dont have any specific goal. Just feel the need to do it cause I have to do it.

 

[camco]

I really want to hug all of you.Been there done that.Fuck it!

 

[halfcenturian]

Get your focus off yourself. Go find somebody, maybe in the gym, to help. This relationship was not meant to be. Grieve about it, then move on. We have all had our lungs ripped out in a relationship. I could fill pages. Don't surround yourself, with yourself.

The other suggestion is to make a list of things you HAVE going for yourself.
Draw a line down the middle of a sheet of paper with plus and minus at top. I promise you the plus catagory will be longer.
You are young, healthy, good looking, intellegent, employed, have a roof over your head, shoes to wear, food to eat.,etc,etc., etc., get as basic as you can. It's called a Gratitude List. Then go over to the minus side. You won't be able to fill half a page. Point is this... Life hurts! I won't get all religious on you, but that's another option.
Focus on what you HAVE, not on what you don't have.
I hope you find this a helpful tool. You will survive this, bro.
-HC.

 

[Mavafanculo]

hey Chris - glad to see you back bro, sorry its under these circumstances - losing a relationship you had big hopes for is a kick in the teeth, but its just a temporary challenge to get over. It'll hurt for awhile 24/7, and then just every once on awhile. At some point, it passes. probably anybody here over 25 has gone tru it at least once. It gets better.

stay busy and dont obsess on it, and YES the gym is a good place to be. self-improvement helps heal the hurt. and living well is the best revenge.

 

[mwm5]

glad you're back bro, i've noticed you were gone for some time now.

 

[79steeler]

Khemix, I was wondering what you've been up to. I have missed your intelligent insight into this thing that we do. Your posts are alway's very articulate and well thought out. I have learned alot from you. I wish you all the best and remember even though it may not seem like it now, sometimes change in our lives is for the best.

I hope to see you on here more often, and remember you have alot of good bro's here who are family. I wish you all good things.

 

[blooddrinker69]

Man up. Drink a twelve pack and plow through a stripper.

 

[khemix]

Wow guys, I got a better response than I expected.

Theres way too many good bros in this thread to thank individually, but karma msgs have been sent . I really appreciate all the kind words and encouragement guys. Its still a daily battle but only time will tell.

I've been getting back in the gym more than before and I'm slowly ramping my diet back up. Its amazing how much my stomach shrank in such a short time. I forgot how agonizingly full I use to get lol.

The drive is coming back. And I have Test/Tren stockpiled.



You guys are my second family and I can't thank you all enough.

Chris

 

[The_Chemist]

Im not sure if you were around in the days of IronMaster, but I went through the exact same thing as you in 2004, and this is what he emailed me.....

I've said this several times, so I'm not sure which post you mean. But, yes, I've been through life's ups and downs. My first marriage ended badly, I've had successes and failures in business, I've fought the battles of raising teenagers, lost loved ones......this shit just happens if you live long enough.
The one constant thing in my life has been the training. The gym is a place of truth and honor. The iron and steel is always there waiting for you, and always gives back exactly what you put in. The determination, sacrifice and hardwork required to be successful there will spill over into all your endeavors in life.
Yes, women and money and friends come and go, but a 45lb. plate always weighs 45lbs.
When things are in the shitter, I've always just renewed my dedication to training and the brotherhood we all share. And you know, things always get better.
My second wife is great.....shares my interest in enhanced training, cooks my food just right, is a great mom to our 5 sons, and is much younger and prettier than I deserve.......but if it went down the dumper tomorrow, I'm still going to the gym.
Hang in there, man, it'll be ok. -IM


Hope that helps.

 

[The_Chemist]

Oh ya. Almost forget....

What drives me is the Challenge/Reward culture of the weight room. I walk into the squat rack with Pantera on my headphones and get underneath 325lbs. I set a goal of 6 reps, but I dig deep and grind out 8 ass-to-the floor reps. The feeling of reward after I rack the weight, is well, beyond verbal description!

 

[The_Chemist]

Oh. And by the way. Were glad to have you back in the board!