What would you do...

[alphaxi]

I have a friend who I recently found out was cheating on his girlfriend...but the problem is this: she is also my friend. What should I do?? I am stuck here. I want to do the right thing.
On one hand I think I should mind my own business and let them deal with their own problems. But on the other hand I would want someone to tell me if my bf was cheating... I wish I had never found this out....

 

[Toothless]

I would advise against protecting either one of them.

Insetad, lock them both in an electrical shed and burn them with kerosene. If they should live, kick their skulls in and mutilate their corpses.

 

[alphaxi]

I would advise against protecting either one of them.

Insetad, lock them both in an electrical shed and burn them with kerosene. If they should live, kick their skulls in and mutilate their corpses.

Ummm...thanks for the advice?

 

[smallmovesal]

I have a friend who I recently found out was cheating on his girlfriend...but the problem is this: she is also my friend. What should I do?? I am stuck here. I want to do the right thing.
On one hand I think I should mind my own business and let them deal with their own problems. But on the other hand I would want someone to tell me if my bf was cheating... I wish I had never found this out....

stay out of it... from personal experience i'd keep that info to myself and feign ignorance if asked.

from someone who "did the right thing" and told, the person stupidly (imo) stayed... and is going to sadly get really hurt willingly i suppose. hard to say, tell and they freak or tell and they stay... best to do nothing. ugh... i feel ya though.

 

[decem]

who are you better friends with? who were you friends with first? are you a guy or a girl?

 

[bunnymt]

Re: Re: What would you do...

stay out of it... from personal experience i'd keep that info to myself and feign ignorance if asked.

from someone who "did the right thing" and told, the person stupidly (imo) stayed... and is going to sadly get really hurt willingly i suppose. hard to say, tell and they freak or tell and they stay... best to do nothing. ugh... i feel ya though.

My thoughts exactly:stay out of it. You do not want to be responsible for helping the shit to hit the fan.

 

[Night Fly]

I think you should stay out of it...simply because...the guy should be man enough to tell her himself...and if he doesn't, then she will find out eventually.

Plus...she may run to him and confront him about it...and he deny it, and she will turn against you when you were only trying to protect her.

It would be in your best interest just to not bother with it.

 

[alphaxi]

Re: Re: What would you do...

stay out of it... from personal experience i'd keep that info to myself and feign ignorance if asked.

from someone who "did the right thing" and told, the person stupidly (imo) stayed... and is going to sadly get really hurt willingly i suppose. hard to say, tell and they freak or tell and they stay... best to do nothing. ugh... i feel ya though.

I was thinking the same thing...I hate hanging out with both of them and knowing...but I would rather keep it to myself than cause problems..not only with their relationship, but my relationship with both of them...cause I dont want to lose either one of them as friends...

Thanks smalls... BTW..how you been girl?? Havent talked to you lately!

 

[big4life]

Re: Re: What would you do...

stay out of it... from personal experience i'd keep that info to myself and feign ignorance if asked.

from someone who "did the right thing" and told, the person stupidly (imo) stayed... and is going to sadly get really hurt willingly i suppose. hard to say, tell and they freak or tell and they stay... best to do nothing. ugh... i feel ya though.

What smalls said.

I've been in your situation and there's no easy answer.

I wish there was.

 

[alphaxi]

I guess another thing Im worried about though is that I think that she suspects something is going on...and I dont want her to ask me about it. I would hate lying to her...

But thanks for all the advice guys!! I appreciate it!

 

[decem]

um... are you gonna answer my questions or not killer?

 

[alphaxi]

um... are you gonna answer my questions or not killer?

Sorry!! LOL...Umm..I am better friends with the girl and I knew her first. But she has been with this guy since I have known her so I have known him just as long.

Like I said though, I think she is starting to get suspicious...and I dont want her asking me questions...

OH! I am female...

 

[decem]

so.. when they split.. which would you rather keep as a friend? the guy or the girl?

and you know that if she finds out.. without your telling her.. and they split.. that they'll both probably still wanna be friends with you.. but not each other.. putting you in the middle...


and... does the guy know that you know?

 

[smallmovesal]

Re: Re: Re: What would you do...

I was thinking the same thing...I hate hanging out with both of them and knowing...but I would rather keep it to myself than cause problems..not only with their relationship, but my relationship with both of them...cause I dont want to lose either one of them as friends...

Thanks smalls... BTW..how you been girl?? Havent talked to you lately!

i hear ya... i went out on a limb and risked a friendship because it became clear to me that that person didn't regret a thing they were doing... sad.

anyway, i'm in limbo, which i suppose is better than up or down..

hope things are well with you.

 

[decem]

you have a typo in there smalls.. you typed "i'm in limbo".. instead of "i'm a bimbo"

 

[alphaxi]

so.. when they split.. which would you rather keep as a friend? the guy or the girl?

and you know that if she finds out.. without your telling her.. and they split.. that they'll both probably still wanna be friends with you.. but not each other.. putting you in the middle...


and... does the guy know that you know?

I dont really know who I would rather keep as a friend...hmmm...interesting point there.

I dont think he knows that I know...but to make things even MORE complicated...I also know the "other woman"...

 

[starfish]

If I had a friend who knew my boyfriend was cheating, I would want to know. If they were my friend, they would tell me. Be honest with your friends or your friendship is BS.

It may not be what they want to hear, but I value the truth more.
I would respect your honesty. If I knew you kept it from me, you would be gone along with my boyfriend..

 

[alphaxi]

If I had a friend who knew my boyfriend was cheating, I would want to know. If they were my friend, they would tell me. Be honest with your friends or your friendship is BS.

It may not be what they want to hear, but I value the truth more.
I would respect your honesty. If I knew you kept it from me, you would be gone along with my boyfriend..

Also a very good point....

*sigh* Now see why Im so torn? I totally agree with what you are saying...but I also agree with the others. I cant win either way I go I guess...
Thanks for the advice...

 

[decem]

i second starfish's motion.. tell her..

wouldn't you want to know? or would you feel like a great big idiot everytime you looked at the friend who knew all along and didn't tell you.. after it all came out that is.. and do you think that you would still be friends with the friend who knew but never told you after it came out? would you still consider them a friend?

 

[alphaxi]

i second starfish's motion.. tell her..

wouldn't you want to know? or would you feel like a great big idiot everytime you looked at the friend who knew all along and didn't tell you.. after it all came out that is.. and do you think that you would still be friends with the friend who knew but never told you after it came out? would you still consider them a friend?

I guess I would want to know the truth if I were in her situation. Honestly, I guess if I were her, I would feel like a dumbass knowing that everyone else knew and didnt tell me. I would be upset that no one bothered to clue me in on the situation. I guess thats my answer then....so why do I feel so bad??

 

[decem]

you shouldn't feel bad.. she's your friend.. she deserves to know..

a few more things to think about though...

you'd better be damn sure that he's cheating on her.. and have some proof.. otherwise he can always talk her into saying that he's just friends with the girl.. and they were just chillin.. then he hates you.. and you look like the ass....


also... i wouldn't expect to be old dude's friend after telling her.. i don't think you'll be his favorite person afterwards..

 

[smallmovesal]

check your pm

 

[starfish]

You could always confront him first..

Let him know that "you know" what's going on..

 

[alphaxi]

I am positive there is something going on with him and another girl that I know.

Yeah, I dont expect him to be talking to me anytime soon...Geezus..I hate confrontation.

So let me ask you this then decem?? How would you go about starting this whole conversation? I mean, I cant just blurt it out ya know? This is a very sticky situation... Your advice has been good so far...give me some more! Help a girl out!

 

[alphaxi]

check your pm

Gotcha!

 

[decem]

I am positive there is something going on with him and another girl that I know.

Yeah, I dont expect him to be talking to me anytime soon...Geezus..I hate confrontation.

So let me ask you this then decem?? How would you go about starting this whole conversation? I mean, I cant just blurt it out ya know? This is a very sticky situation... Your advice has been good so far...give me some more! Help a girl out!

if it were me.. the next time i was with her.. (or if it was gonna be a long time til i saw her again i'd call her and ask her to do something..).. i'd sit her down and say "look.. i think george is cheating on you.. and this is why.. this other girl i know.. georgette.. told me that she's been giving him handjobs in the parking lot.. maybe she's lying.. but i don't know why she would.. anyway.. i just thought you should know..


there's no other way to say than to just say it.. so just say it..



smalls.. didn't your teachers ever teach you not to whisper.. it's not polite.. now share with the group..

 

[alphaxi]

if it were me.. the next time i was with her.. (or if it was gonna be a long time til i saw her again i'd call her and ask her to do something..).. i'd sit her down and say "look.. i think george is cheating on you.. and this is why.. this other girl i know.. georgette.. told me that she's been giving him handjobs in the parking lot.. maybe she's lying.. but i don't know why she would.. anyway.. i just thought you should know..


there's no other way to say than to just say it.. so just say it..



smalls.. didn't your teachers ever teach you not to whisper.. it's not polite.. now share with the group..

Thanks...I appreciate all the advice! You are great!!

 

[decem]

no problemo

 

[smallmovesal]

smalls.. didn't your teachers ever teach you not to whisper.. it's not polite.. now share with the group..

 

[Jimsbbc]

I would drop him in the grease. Seriously, and who needs friends like that anyway? Your girlfriend will be thankful.