What gives you the desire?

[Night Fly]

I have been waiting and waiting for the desire...that fire that I hear so many people talk about having. I am really struggling in the fact that I feel motivated for a few days and then it all goes down the drain. I cannot seem to keep my focus...and my desire for doing whatever is it that I am doing...just goes away. What happens to it....I don't know.

This is really a problem for me...because I want several things very badly...but I just lose the desire.

Can you all help me with this? I know that people say that I have to WANT it bad before I really do something about it...but the thing is...I really do want it...bad. Am I just confused or something? If you all have any words of advice....please help me....because it is affecting not only my goal for weight loss....but my desire to get in the gym and do cardio like I have been meaning to for the past...oh...3 WEEKS!!!!

What do I do???

 

[Night Fly]

And if you all need specifics...please do not be afraid to ask....I just didn't want to list them all in my first post.

 

[Night Fly]

Specifics.... Let's hear it.

Haha...how did I know that you would say that.

Okay...well...

I decided that I wanted to do bodybuilding...tried that for a while....and got tired of it. Couldn't hang with the diet...tried several times and finally just gave up because I just kept disappointing myself.

After that...I took about 2 months off from the gym. I then tried to get back into it....and it worked for a little bit...but things kept coming up and I just couldnt' make it back to the gym.

Now, I have decided that I want to do strongman. And right now...I am really into it...I am going to do my first competition on May 18th. Well, some people (especially you, Spatts), know that I have been struggling with my weight. Well, I am trying to do this weight loss program...and even though I have to go 'check in' 2 times a week...I still cannot do it. I know that I want so badly to get stronger in the gym...so losing a ton of weight is not feasible at this point...but I would at least like to lose about 15 pounds to be a bit smaller. I am a large girl, as you all have seen in my back picture.

I have no self confidence because of the fact that I cannot tackle this stupid weight...it is really ruining my outlook on life at the moment. I have a hard time being happy with everything in my life because my weight is such a huge setback for me.

By no means is this meant to be a sympathy thread...so please feel free to be harsh if you want with your advice...I do not wear my feelings on my sleeve. I just want to know, basically, how you all got the desire to achieve what you all have.

Am I going to have to just bottom out before I realize what I have to do for myself? I mean...am I going to have to gain another 50 lbs to finally help myself get rid of that stubborn 15 that I stress so much over? This is ridiculous because I wake up feeling like I look awful...I hate even looking at my body in the shower...and especially the mirror...and it just seems to get worse and worse.

I really do not know what to do.

 

[Bikini Mod]

Ok because I have a softspot in my heart for you, I will give it to you straight.

Happiness doesn't come from how you look, or the job you do, a man, child, whatever.... it comes from the INSIDE. Trust me, I have spent most of my adult learning this. Once you realize that you need to look inside to find what has been holding you back then you will either A)accept it or B)change it. This is the first step.

I remember my oldest asking me a few months ago (when I was on the brink of "getting it"), "Mommy, do you hate your life?" (I am sure the child heard this from my lips more than once.) And I said, "No honey... are their aspect of my life that I hate or at least don't like? Absolutely, but you know what? I'll just change them." She was taken aback and asked, "Mommy, can you REALLY do this?" I said, "ABSOLUTELY!"....not only did SHE believe me.... BUT I BELIEVED ME.

True, I am a bit happier when I am in my best shape, but it doesn't solve ANY of my large problems and on those occasions when I do let myself go a bit, I just enjoy the fact that I had a good time getting fat and happy and buckle down and do what needs to be done to get where I want to be. That is because I have perspective on the rest of my life.

It's late D and I am tired... but I hope that I helped to some degree.

 

[Night Fly]

OK, woman, snap out of it.

What do you want? Do you want to be a bodybuilder? Do you want to lose "weight?" Do you want to be strong? Are you doing this because you feel pressured by anyone who is a PL? WHAT DO YOU WANT? You can't do it all, at least not at once...

What moves you more than anything? What do you see, and then want so bad you can't stand it?

I do NOT want to be a bodybuilder...I DO want to lose weight....and I DEFINITELY want to be strong. I do not feel pressured by anyone to achieve certain goals with my strength...I want to achieve them for myself...because it makes me feel good. I want to lose some weight and become stronger...but can I do that? Is that possible?

What moves me? When I see women who look good enough to wear sleeveless shirts and have some cuts in their arms....when I see women who look good with nothing on...I am not saying this because I feel as though I need to be ripped....just would like to have some extra fat off. I am driven by women who are strong...

You know....I just have a goal that I want to be able to look good not only for the summer...but from now on.

I am not whining...so I don't want anyone to think that....I am really just stuck at how to get that FIRE...to make me want it....you know?

 

[Night Fly]

Ok because I have a softspot in my heart for you, I will give it to you straight.

Happiness doesn't come from how you look, or the job you do, a man, child, whatever.... it comes from the INSIDE. Trust me, I have spent most of my adult learning this. Once you realize that you need to look inside to find what has been holding you back then you will either A)accept it or B)change it. This is the first step.

I remember my oldest asking me a few months ago (when I was on the brink of "getting it"), "Mommy, do you hate your life?" (I am sure the child heard this from my lips more than once.) And I said, "No honey... are their aspect of my life that I hate or at least don't like? Absolutely, but you know what? I'll just change them." She was taken aback and asked, "Mommy, can you REALLY do this?" I said, "ABSOLUTELY!"....not only did SHE believe me.... BUT I BELIEVED ME.

It's late D and I am tired... but I hope that I helped to some degree.

E....thank you so much for that. The part about what you said to your child really made me think.

I know I have to change it...I just need to figure out how.

 

[Night Fly]

OK...so you want to be strong and a little leaner. This is going to be about diet and supplementation. What risks are you willing to take? This determines how patient you have to be.

Risks? Do you mean as in....am I willing to do a cycle? The answer is yes to that question...and I can be patient when I need to be.

 

[b fold the truth]

My honest opinions...darlin'

"This is really a problem for me...because I want several things very badly...but I just lose the desire. "

-----I hope that I don't fall into this category.


"I decided that I wanted to do bodybuilding...tried that for a while....and got tired of it. Couldn't hang with the diet...tried several times and finally just gave up because I just kept disappointing myself."

-----Did you really want to diet? When I do not have my mind on dieting...I don't. I have to really want it before I will actually eat low calorie foods and put away the pizza, whole milk, and hamburger helper. If it is not what you want, then don't do it.

"After that...I took about 2 months off from the gym. I then tried to get back into it....and it worked for a little bit...but things kept coming up and I just couldnt' make it back to the gym. "

-----You were driving to KY way too much..haha..or not enough


"Now, I have decided that I want to do strongman. And right now...I am really into it...I am going to do my first competition on May 18th. Well, some people (especially you, Spatts), know that I have been struggling with my weight. Well, I am trying to do this weight loss program...and even though I have to go 'check in' 2 times a week...I still cannot do it. I know that I want so badly to get stronger in the gym...so losing a ton of weight is not feasible at this point...but I would at least like to lose about 15 pounds to be a bit smaller. I am a large girl, as you all have seen in my back picture."

-----Not checking into the weight loss program? You are paying money and not checking into it? Why do you do it? Just don't if you do not want to...be happy. You do NOT have a ton of weight to lose...I promise.


"I have no self confidence because of the fact that I cannot tackle this stupid weight...it is really ruining my outlook on life at the moment. I have a hard time being happy with everything in my life because my weight is such a huge setback for me."

-----I don't think that your weight has anything to do with your lack of self-confidence. I know you better than ANYONE on this board, maybe better than you. I look into your eyes and see who you really are...the person that you do not even see. There is a lot in your life that you have to get together in order to have self confidence...just as I do. My weight, as well as yours, has little to do with it darlin'.

"By no means is this meant to be a sympathy thread...so please feel free to be harsh if you want with your advice...I do not wear my feelings on my sleeve. I just want to know, basically, how you all got the desire to achieve what you all have."

-----I never cease to believe that I can achieve. What the mind of a man can conceive and believe, the mind of a man can achieve with a positive mental attitude.

"Am I going to have to just bottom out before I realize what I have to do for myself? I mean...am I going to have to gain another 50 lbs to finally help myself get rid of that stubborn 15 that I stress so much over? This is ridiculous because I wake up feeling like I look awful...I hate even looking at my body in the shower...and especially the mirror...and it just seems to get worse and worse."

-----Bottom out? Most people do...or come darn near close. You are young and have your life ahead of you...never forget that. Beyond me, your family, cars, job...YOU have YOUR life ahead of you and you can take with you what YOU want to!!! You know that I love looking at your body...but you have to love it too. I have only been comfortable with having my shirt off in any type of situation...since my first strongman contest. I have gained confidence from positive influences in my life...including competing. Well, and I am also considered "ripped" for a strongman..haha.

"I really do not know what to do."

-----You know what I would say. Prayer, love, kindness, friends, and belief.

B True

 

[b fold the truth]

Thanks. I felt bad because this thread was sparked by a conversation that she and I had earlier today. She doesn't have that fire in her eyes to do this yet. YET!!! The flame is lit...but not glowing hot just yet.

Most people who are new to lifting (less than 5 full hard years) do not have that fire. I am quieter in the gym now...but I want it more. A friend of mine told me the other day that he noticed that I was quieter when I trained than I used to be...but I look different in my eyes when I train. I am focused, I have a goal, I know what I want. I am yet to step up to the 1st place marker on that podium. YET!!!

I have always had that desire to train very hard...but till I competed...I never had the focus and determination. I truly believe that her contest will have her hooked and loving it. It will allow her to realize what true focus is...and how she can be ready for the next contest. Focus, fire, determination, desire. YET!!!

I am considered fat by most everyone on here...but I do not care. My sport, and competition, gives me the confidence to stand next to Mr. Ripped and Mr. Tanned and be perfectly happy with myself and my appearance. Self confidence comes from within. God can help a lot too.

YET!!!

B True

 

[new@gettinbig]

Ok girl first of all RLEAX!! You are way to critical of yourself...step back and take a deep breath...Everything starts with ATTITUDE! You control how you think...feel...react...etc...You have a choice as to what kind of day you will have....YOU MUST BE POSITIVE...YOU MUST BELIEVE IN YOURSELF...you can do just about ANYTHING if you PUT YOUR MIND TO IT...but you have to do that...and to do that you have to have faith in yourself and love yourself...be happy w/ who you are and what you have to offer...you have gifts that no one else in this world does...remember this. It doesn't matter if you are a bodybuilder and compete in 10 shows...or if you are the strongest chick in the world...none of that matters...it is a hobby...a sport....an activity...it does not MAKE U! It is NOT who you are...it can be a big part of you, but it is not your entire life..The important things in life are you, your mental health, physical health, family and friends...nothing else matters...and when you start to put this into perspective..you will see yourself in a whole new light...

Set small goals for yourself...daily goals..not big 2 years down the road goals. Take it ONE day at a time..you will fall here and there but that is ok...it will just make you stronger down the line...make a calender..go to the gym at regular times...and mark it down like an appt...keep a schedule and stick to it..reward yourself for doing it...like cds...clothes....massage..whatever. Keep pictures up to inspire you...read the boards for help and encouragement. Take control of yourself and push yourself to do what has to be done...your body is going to want to go the other direction..it doesnt want to be pushed...you have to take it there...and keep it there. Take breaks from the gym every 3 months or so...allow a cheat day every 1-2 weeks...so you dont feel deprived. There are so many ways you can do this and find what works for you...just seek it out!