What do you do when your current g/f or b/f wants to know about your sexual past?

[gabulldogs02]

Every now and then it'll come up in a conversation and I keep my mouth shut. Its a lose/lose situation. I opened my mouth up one day with a group of friends and she was disgusted ( and about ready to kill me ) I'm in my early 20's and she has a problem with the 15 people i've been with cause shes only been with 1 other. Shes just gotta deal with it..

 

[Gymgurl]

Told him that is was none of his business and we agreed never to tell each other how many people we have been with ...to this day I still don't know and either does he and that was 20 yrs ago

 

[mrplunkey]

I'd never give details of my sexual past and I'd sure hope to God that my SO wouldn't either.

Couple of things to do...

1) If you are between SO's, throw out or hide any toys from your old relationship. If you do want to re-introduce them, make sure they are in new condition and present them as new. The last thing I'd ever want to see is my SO with a hidden sex swing in her closet that looks like it's had 100,000 miles put on it.

2) If you are talking about what you like and dislike, position it as "I've always wanted to..." or "You know what sounds fun?...". Stay away from "Well Ted used to throw my legs up over my shoulders and lift my ass off the bed while he powerfucked me."

3) If your SO asks you if you've ever done so-and-so, even if you've done it, just respond with what you'd like to do with them... not what you've done. Example: "Hey hon, did you ever give your ex a pearl necklace?". Answer: "Wow! The thought of doing that with you really turns me on. Are you game?" Alternative Answer: "We have so much fun together that I really don't see that as something we have to do unless the idea turns you on."

4) And if your SO is just *obsessed* for details, just tone everything down. Understate everything... Also, girls especially, if you have done some really "out there" things with an ex and your SO knows it, talk about 1) "How much you really thought you loved so-and-so" and 2) "How being with your current SO had taught you how you can care even more about a person". For some reason, we guys can justify you doing some kinky stuff if we tell ourselves you thought the guy was "the one". Just make sure that we know we're even better than "the one" ever was!

5) Also... ladies especially... it's really fine to make a guy you're dating wait even a month or so before sex. But here's the kicker... if I've waited 45 days and nine dates before we have intense sexual contact, please, please, please don't let me find out later that I'm number 45 on your roster -- especially if you are 25 years old! I'll do the math and realize you couldn't have made all those other guys wait 45 days

6) And finally... if you're doing some naughty stuff with me... especially deviant stuff... even if it's old hat to you, just make casual comments that will help me live the lie that I'm first. You know... "I just could never see myself doing XYZ with anyone. But for you, because I know you like it, it just seems natural to me."

Anyway... that's my 2 cents!

 

[Raina]

I'll happily tell someone as much as they'd like to know- but they don't get to be pissy if they don't like the answers.

 

[mrplunkey]

I'll happily tell someone as much as they'd like to know- but they don't get to be pissy if they don't like the answers.

This is only my 2 cents, and I'm certainly not giving you a hard time for your approach. Having said that, I think some guys ask but don't really want to know. Either that, or they ask and hope to be lied to a little.

Think of it like this... if you asked an ex about a bodypart, like say your breasts... a great answer would be "well, I've had girlfriends who were technically larger, but I have to say you have the most amazing breasts of any of my girlfriends." Well... the truth is, ex #28 may have had nicer/bigger/more shapely/more supple breasts, but why in the world would your SO want to say that? It serves no purpose.

We guys know that if the girl is particularly concerned about some aspect of her body, she can ask a "test question" and it's encumbent upon us to navigate those waters carefully. Now not all inquiries from guys about your ex's or your sexual past fall under the same catgory, but some do and it's often hard to tell them apart.

 

[Bigroof]

you always have to lie. 2 it's the only answer.........goooooooooooooooo dawgs sic em

 

[Raina]

There's no way I'd lie a little. If someone asks, expect the actual answer. I'm not one to tiptoe around things. Someone's past is their past. It's beyond me why anyone would care.

Why would I care about my significant other's ex's tits? If someone's with me they're with me and I don't really care to know much about their pasts. If I wanted to know though I'd expect a blunt and honest answer. It's stupid to run around asking people questions when you want some kind of ego-stroking answer.

 

[EnderJE]

I just tell the truth. We've only talked about it once and that was along time ago.

So Raina...how many?

 

[Raina]

I just tell the truth. We've only talked about it once and that was along time ago.

So Raina...how many?

You're not my significant other so I'm not telling.

 

[riverrock]

Most people lie their Arses off anyhow about their sexual past. I told my GF that when I was a Hotel Manager 2 years ago I got told by reception that there wasa problem in Room 252. When I went up, 2 women dragged me in for a big orgy!!! She totally believed me even though I was lying like hell to make myself sound good!!!