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Muscle Milk is what comes out of Chuck Norris's nipples.
In other news :
1 - Some kids piss their name in the snow. Chuck Norris can piss his name into concrete
2 - Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Chuck Norris can kill 100 percent of whatever the hell he wants
3 - Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice
4 - Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands
5 - Chuck Norris's calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Chuck Norris
6 - Chuck Norris can speak braille
7 - Chuck Norris's tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried
8 - Chuck Norris was originally cast as the main character in 24, but was replaced by the producers when he managed to kill every terrorist and save the day in 12 minutes and 37 seconds
9 - Chuck Norris died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him
10 - Chuck Norris puts the "laughter" in "manslaughter"
11 - Superman owns a pair of Chuck Norris pajamas
12 - Chuck Norris can slam revolving doors
13 - Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris
14 - Once a cobra bit Chuck Norris' leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died
15 - Chuck Norris was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.
16 - Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies the possibility of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing
17 - Chuck Norris divides by zero
18 - Chuck Norris's wristwatch has no numbers on it. It just says, "Time to kick ass."
19 - When Chuck Norris gives you the finger, he's telling you how many seconds you have left to live
20 - Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris
21 - Giraffes were created when Chuck Norris uppercutted a horse
22 - When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris
23 - Chuck Norris' dog is trained to pick up his own poop because Chuck Norris will not take crap from anyone
24 - Chuck Norris has to maintain a concealed weapon license in all 50 states in order to legally wear pants
25 - Chuck Norris is the only person on the planet that can kick you in the back of the face
26 - When Chuck Norris exercises, the machine gets stronger
27 - Chuck Norris doesn't use pickup lines, he simply says, "Now."
28 - Chuck Norris can build a snowman out of rain
29 - Chuck Norris once had a heart attack; his heart lost
30 - Chuck Norris plays russian roulette with a fully loded revolver... and wins
31 - Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird
32 - M.C. Hammer learned the hard way that Chuck Norris can touch this
33 - Chuck Norris once killed a bird by throwing it off a cliff
34 - The best part of waking up is not Folgers in your cup, but knowing that Chuck Norris didn't kill you in your sleep
35 - Chuck Norris once punched a man in the soul
36 - Chuck Norris did that to Michael Jackson's face
37 - The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain
38 - The most honorable way of dying is taking a bullet for Chuck Norris. This amuses Chuck Norris because he is bulletproof
39 - Chuck Norris can tie his shoes with his feet
40 - Chuck Norris once finished "The Song that Never Ends"
41 - The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris's fist
42 - It is considered a great accomplishment to go down Niagara Falls in a wooden barrel. Chuck Norris can go up Niagara Falls in a cardboard box
43 - The saddest moment for a child is not when he learns Santa Claus isn't real, it's when he learns Chuck Norris is
44 - We all know the magic word is please. As in the sentence, "Please don't kill me." Too bad Chuck Norris doesn't believe in magic
45 - Chuck Norris can drown a fish
46 - When Chuck Norris enters a room, he doesn't turn the lights on, he turns the dark off
47 - Chuck Norris can create a rock so heavy that even he can't lift it. And then he lifts it anyways, just to show you who Chuck Norris is
48 - The reason newborn babies cry is because they know they have just entered a world with Chuck Norris
49 - The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears
50 - Chuck Norris was once the F.B.I's chief negotiator. His job involved calling up criminals and saying, "This is Chuck Norris."
51 - Chuck Norris used to beat the crap out of his shadow because it was following to close. It now stands a safe 30 feet behind him
52 - The only time Chuck Norris was wrong was when he thought he had made a mistake
53 - The last digit of pi is Chuck Norris. He is the end of all things
54 - On Neil Armstrong's second step on the moon, he found a note that said, "Chuck Norris was here."
55 - When Chuck Norris breaks the law, the law doesn't heal
56 - A unicorn once kicked Chuck Norris. That is why they no longer exist
57 - Bullets dodge Chuck Norris
58 - Chuck Norris once partook in a pissing contest outside of a bar. His opponent drowned.
Additional :
If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.
There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.
Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.
Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.
Chuck Norris can eat just one Lay's potato chip.
Chuck Norris is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.
Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
Muscle Milk is what comes out of Chuck Norris's nipples.
In other news :
1 - Some kids piss their name in the snow. Chuck Norris can piss his name into concrete
2 - Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Chuck Norris can kill 100 percent of whatever the hell he wants
3 - Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice
4 - Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands
5 - Chuck Norris's calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Chuck Norris
6 - Chuck Norris can speak braille
7 - Chuck Norris's tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried
8 - Chuck Norris was originally cast as the main character in 24, but was replaced by the producers when he managed to kill every terrorist and save the day in 12 minutes and 37 seconds
9 - Chuck Norris died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him
10 - Chuck Norris puts the "laughter" in "manslaughter"
11 - Superman owns a pair of Chuck Norris pajamas
12 - Chuck Norris can slam revolving doors
13 - Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris
14 - Once a cobra bit Chuck Norris' leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died
15 - Chuck Norris was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.
16 - Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies the possibility of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing
17 - Chuck Norris divides by zero
18 - Chuck Norris's wristwatch has no numbers on it. It just says, "Time to kick ass."
19 - When Chuck Norris gives you the finger, he's telling you how many seconds you have left to live
20 - Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris
21 - Giraffes were created when Chuck Norris uppercutted a horse
22 - When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris
23 - Chuck Norris' dog is trained to pick up his own poop because Chuck Norris will not take crap from anyone
24 - Chuck Norris has to maintain a concealed weapon license in all 50 states in order to legally wear pants
25 - Chuck Norris is the only person on the planet that can kick you in the back of the face
26 - When Chuck Norris exercises, the machine gets stronger
27 - Chuck Norris doesn't use pickup lines, he simply says, "Now."
28 - Chuck Norris can build a snowman out of rain
29 - Chuck Norris once had a heart attack; his heart lost
30 - Chuck Norris plays russian roulette with a fully loded revolver... and wins
31 - Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird
32 - M.C. Hammer learned the hard way that Chuck Norris can touch this
33 - Chuck Norris once killed a bird by throwing it off a cliff
34 - The best part of waking up is not Folgers in your cup, but knowing that Chuck Norris didn't kill you in your sleep
35 - Chuck Norris once punched a man in the soul
36 - Chuck Norris did that to Michael Jackson's face
37 - The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain
38 - The most honorable way of dying is taking a bullet for Chuck Norris. This amuses Chuck Norris because he is bulletproof
39 - Chuck Norris can tie his shoes with his feet
40 - Chuck Norris once finished "The Song that Never Ends"
41 - The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris's fist
42 - It is considered a great accomplishment to go down Niagara Falls in a wooden barrel. Chuck Norris can go up Niagara Falls in a cardboard box
43 - The saddest moment for a child is not when he learns Santa Claus isn't real, it's when he learns Chuck Norris is
44 - We all know the magic word is please. As in the sentence, "Please don't kill me." Too bad Chuck Norris doesn't believe in magic
45 - Chuck Norris can drown a fish
46 - When Chuck Norris enters a room, he doesn't turn the lights on, he turns the dark off
47 - Chuck Norris can create a rock so heavy that even he can't lift it. And then he lifts it anyways, just to show you who Chuck Norris is
48 - The reason newborn babies cry is because they know they have just entered a world with Chuck Norris
49 - The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears
50 - Chuck Norris was once the F.B.I's chief negotiator. His job involved calling up criminals and saying, "This is Chuck Norris."
51 - Chuck Norris used to beat the crap out of his shadow because it was following to close. It now stands a safe 30 feet behind him
52 - The only time Chuck Norris was wrong was when he thought he had made a mistake
53 - The last digit of pi is Chuck Norris. He is the end of all things
54 - On Neil Armstrong's second step on the moon, he found a note that said, "Chuck Norris was here."
55 - When Chuck Norris breaks the law, the law doesn't heal
56 - A unicorn once kicked Chuck Norris. That is why they no longer exist
57 - Bullets dodge Chuck Norris
58 - Chuck Norris once partook in a pissing contest outside of a bar. His opponent drowned.
Additional :
If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.
There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.
Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.
Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.
Chuck Norris can eat just one Lay's potato chip.
Chuck Norris is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.
Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
