Share all your funny STD stories here:

[ROFLMFAO]

Seriously though, one time I was at a frat party going at it with this chick when she stopped and told me she "had something she had to tell me" before we went any further. LOL I knew what was coming because she was starting to cry a little bit and couldnt look at me when she told me that she had herpes. I played it cool though and told her that it was alright, that alot of people did, etc..etc..etc...and that I would be right back, I just had to get a condom out of my car....

...yeah you guessed it; I got in my car and got the hell out of there ASAP!!

Dirty slut

"going at it with this chick "

so you had already kissed her?

 

[foreigngirl]

did you know you can get gonorrhea from riding a tractor?

nope...I didnt need to know that.

 

[anabolicfreak]

lol...but arent you lucky she told you before anything happened?

Yeah, thats why I was also considerate and appeased her and told her it was no big deal before quietly jetting on her rather than make a big scene at the party and embarass the little disease ridden trick.

 

[BrothaBill]

nope...I didnt need to know that.

Sophie: You know, Jerry, there's this thing that I haven't told you about.
See, there was this tractor and, oh boy, this is really difficult.

Jerry: Sophie, it's me. I know about the tractor story and I'm fine with it.

Sophie: How could you know?

Jerry (putting his finger to Sophie's lips, then to his own, then back to
Sopie's): Shh. Shh. Shh. It's not important. What's important is I'm not
gonna let a little thing like that ruin what could be a very long-term and
meaningful relationship.

Kramer and Mickey barge in, they're in the middle of an argument.

Kramer: ...I didn't say that, no.

Mickey: You gave me gonorrhea, you didn't even tell me!

Kramer: Well, I'm sorry. I gave you gonorrhea because I thought you'd have fun
with it.

Jerry: Hey, hey! I'm with someone.

Kramer: Oh. Hello.

Sophie: No, I understand. This could be a tough thing to deal with. The
important thing is that you have a partner who's supportive.

Kramer (to Mickey): You know? She's right.

Sophie: Unfortunately, I didn't have a partner. I got gonorrhea from a
tractor.

Jerry: You got gonorrhea from a tractor?? And you call *that* your tractor
story??

Kramer: You can't get it from that.

Sophie: But I did. My boyfriend said I got gonorrhea from riding the tractor
in my bathing suit.

Jerry (walking out): Alright, that's it for me. You've been great. Goodnight
everybody.

 

[anabolicfreak]

"going at it with this chick "

so you had already kissed her?

yeah I'd been making out with her, thats it though. she was smokin hot, and only 18 or 19 years old, too. i really felt kind of bad for her. i'm sure she was a nice girl who came to college, got too drunk at a party and let some guy take advantage of her and now its a shame she's branded with a scarlet H for the rest of her life.

dirty slut

 

[foreigngirl]

Sophie: You know, Jerry, there's this thing that I haven't told you about.
See, there was this tractor and, oh boy, this is really difficult.

Jerry: Sophie, it's me. I know about the tractor story and I'm fine with it.

Sophie: How could you know?

Jerry (putting his finger to Sophie's lips, then to his own, then back to
Sopie's): Shh. Shh. Shh. It's not important. What's important is I'm not
gonna let a little thing like that ruin what could be a very long-term and
meaningful relationship.

Kramer and Mickey barge in, they're in the middle of an argument.

Kramer: ...I didn't say that, no.

Mickey: You gave me gonorrhea, you didn't even tell me!

Kramer: Well, I'm sorry. I gave you gonorrhea because I thought you'd have fun
with it.

Jerry: Hey, hey! I'm with someone.

Kramer: Oh. Hello.

Sophie: No, I understand. This could be a tough thing to deal with. The
important thing is that you have a partner who's supportive.

Kramer (to Mickey): You know? She's right.

Sophie: Unfortunately, I didn't have a partner. I got gonorrhea from a
tractor.

Jerry: You got gonorrhea from a tractor?? And you call *that* your tractor
story??

Kramer: You can't get it from that.

Sophie: But I did. My boyfriend said I got gonorrhea from riding the tractor
in my bathing suit.

Jerry (walking out): Alright, that's it for me. You've been great. Goodnight
everybody.

LOL......her bf was very smart

 

[KA-BAR]

I caught the crabs 2x does that count? Back in HS days on summer vacation. LOoooong time ago. Went out with a chick for a week or so. Nice piece of ass I might add. One of the best ever. Anyway buddy and I got a 2 month job at point pleasant NJ about 10 hours away from here working for UPS. Washing and waxing the trucks. I started to itch little a little bit. Thought nothing of it and figured I was getting jock itch even though I had never had it before. Well it got worse and worse and I went to piss and actually seen one of the little motherfuckers crawling on my hair! I ripped out some hair and was checking it out and sure enough I had the spider crabs!

I freaked out. At the time I had no idea what the fuck to be honest. I did not want anybody to know and I was way far away from home. I went to the truck to see what I could find to help out. I found some Lysol and stuck it in my shorts and went back to the bathroom. I sprayed the shit all over down there hoping it will kill them. Went back to work and all it did was piss those little fuckers off and I was in real bad shape then.

I went to my buddy and told him about it and he remembers another friend of ours had them and he got rid of them with Denorex. After we got off work. 2nd shift. WE went to store and got some Denorex. Went back to the place we where staying at and used it and all that shit did was stir them up also!

There where also 2 other dudes with us from WV and I got the balls to ask one of them and they got all serious and said you have to get this shit called AT2000 or something. So I went back to the store and to embarrassed to buy it I stuck the shit down my pants and went back and that did the trick!

Few months later when we got home I went back to girl who gave them to me and told her she gave me the crabs and she insisted she never had them. I guess it’s harder for woman to tell if they have them for some reason but she swore I must have got them from somebody else. I found out another friend of mine had sex with her also and I told him about it and sure enough she gave him the crabs also. Ha-ha. I don’t know how she could stand it but those things bit the shit out of me.

 

[ROFLMFAO]

I caught the crabs 2x does that count? Back in HS days on summer vacation. LOoooong time ago. Went out with a chick for a week or so. Nice piece of ass I might add. One of the best ever. Anyway buddy and I got a 2 month job at point pleasant NJ about 10 hours away from here working for UPS. Washing and waxing the trucks. I started to itch little a little bit. Thought nothing of it and figured I was getting jock itch even though I had never had it before. Well it got worse and worse and I went to piss and actually seen one of the little motherfuckers crawling on my hair! I ripped out some hair and was checking it out and sure enough I had the spider crabs!

I freaked out. At the time I had no idea what the fuck to be honest. I did not want anybody to know and I was way far away from home. I went to the truck to see what I could find to help out. I found some Lysol and stuck it in my shorts and went back to the bathroom. I sprayed the shit all over down there hoping it will kill them. Went back to work and all it did was piss those little fuckers off and I was in real bad shape then.

I went to my buddy and told him about it and he remembers another friend of ours had them and he got rid of them with Denorex. After we got off work. 2nd shift. WE went to store and got some Denorex. Went back to the place we where staying at and used it and all that shit did was stir them up also!

There where also 2 other dudes with us from WV and I got the balls to ask one of them and they got all serious and said you have to get this shit called AT2000 or something. So I went back to the store and to embarrassed to buy it I stuck the shit down my pants and went back and that did the trick!

Few months later when we got home I went back to girl who gave them to me and told her she gave me the crabs and she insisted she never had them. I guess it’s harder for woman to tell if they have them for some reason but she swore I must have got them from somebody else. I found out another friend of mine had sex with her also and I told him about it and sure enough she gave him the crabs also. Ha-ha. I don’t know how she could stand it but those things bit the shit out of me.

eww

 

[KA-BAR]

I know its a great story. Many of my friends have had the bore punched and I hear it hurts really bad. I feel lucky I just got the eebs and nothing else. 17 years later and still clean as whistle. Crabs would have a hard time now anyway because shave my shit bald.

 

[Lestat]

anabolicfreak is a good bro